“Captain’s Log, Stardate 2378.84:

It is good to be back on the bridge of the Maverick after two months away from my ship. The damage caused by the Vrihan fleet has been repaired, with our cloaking device restored and our armaments boosted now that there is a possibility of a rogue Romulan presence in the Frontier. Our complement of quantum torpedoes has been increased, along with an additional phaser array fitted to our saucer section. Our remaining systems still utilising isolinear chips have been switched over to the bio-neural circuitry. Thanks to the revised treaty of Algeron, we are now authorised to use our cloak whether we engage the Borg.

Our current mission has the Maverick on route to the planet Hadir Prime, located on the far side of the Setisar Nebula. Hadir Prime, a planet rich in pergium deposits, has begun tentative inquiries to the Federation about acquiring membership. Since the collapse of the Romulan Empire, they have been plagued by raiders who are taking advantage of the situation to conduct raids on their mining operations. In exchange for membership, the Hadir are offering the Federation exclusive rights to all pergium manufactured on the planet. As pergium is a vital energy source for most of our colonies and starbases in this sector, Starfleet has charged me with ensuring Hadir Prime’s application for Federation membership goes forward smoothly.”

******* 

“What do we know about the Hadir?” Vin Tanner asked from the conn as the Maverick continued at high warp towards the planet they would be arriving in less than a day. The helmsman asked no one in particular, simply wanting to make conversation, as he stared at the stars rushing past the view screen while the Maverick journeyed through the warp field.

Mary Travis looked up from the data pad she was perusing. As always, she was a picture of elegance as she took up her customary position flanking the Captain’s command chair.

“Not much,” she answered Vin. “I have tried to conduct as much research since we were handed this assignment but there isn’t a great deal to know about them. Over the years, our contact with them has been limited due to the extreme distance of Hadir from the core worlds. There are reports of them being highly advanced, having made the most of the pergium on the planet to eliminate most societal problems of overpopulation, hunger and disease. From all accounts, they’re an intelligent, peaceful people with no established military of their own, which is unusual but does explain why they’re asking for membership.”

“That’s odd isn’t it?” JD Dunne asked from the navigation station. “I mean I would have thought most races would have had a military, even a small one.” The younger man looked to the senior officers in question.

“It is,” Alexandra Styles replied from her science station. “Purely pacifistic societies are usually highly advanced, we’ve seen this in the Argelians, Grazerites, Metrons and Organians. Although I have to admit, those species usually have some form of protection that doesn’t require weaponry. In the case of the Metrons and the Organians, they’ve evolved beyond the needs for physical bodies and are classified as a higher order of life.”

“Is that what the Hadir are?” JD asked, thinking it would be fascinating to meet life forms like the Organians, whose abilities were almost Q like in power, but were a benevolent people abhorring any form of violence.

“We’re not sure yet JD,” Buck Wilmington answered the young man, remembering what it was like to be new to exploration, and filled with a thousand questions. “However, we can assume that by asking for our protection, they must be corporeal at least.”

“I wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” Chris Larabee provided his own input in answering the ensign’s question. “I for one am pleased to meet a peaceful race, who just want to go about their business and keep the dogs off their lawn.”

“Captain,” Ezra Standish made a face from his security console. “I do wish you would use another reference, I despise being relegated to the role of animal control.”

“Oh, come on Ezra,” Vin remarked, “ain’t you gotten over having to retrieve that hamster from conduit 32?”

A small ripple of laughter moved across the bridge with Ezra responding with the greatest dignity. “For your information, it was a gerbil and what exactly is the moratorium on that particular incident?”

“Oh, I would say never,” Buck grinned, sharing a playful smirk with the helmsman from the First Officer’s chair. “Cheer up Ezra, I for one am looking forward to sampling all the delights of a new, alien race.”

“Oh great,” Alex rolled her eyes, “do we need to give you a snorkel, so you can go diving?”

She did not say for what, but it was implied. Another burst of laughter moved across the bridge from those present. After two months away from the Maverick, it was obvious the bridge crew had missed their interaction and Buck and Alex’s verbal sparring was always amusing to hear. While the duo were almost best friends, Alex’s view on Buck’s mating habits was well known.

She considered them a notch above randy goat.

“We do not even know if Hadiran women are humanoid,” Ezra pointed out. “For all we know, there could be tentacles and sucker pads.”

“Would that matter?” JD quipped, flashing a grin at Buck as he said so. More laughter followed, and Buck grinned at JD’s comment, not at all offended and pleased to see the kid gaining more confidence around his senior peers and allowing himself to be heard, even at the first officer’s expense. What the hell, Buck thought, he was big enough to take some gentle ribbing.

“Buck,” Chris weighed in good-naturedly. “Starfleet wants Hadir Prime to gain Federation membership. I don’t want the candidacy process to be compromised by having to deal with a dozen angry fathers after your head.”

“It won’t be his head they’re after,” Mary remarked with a sly smile.

Buck could only offer one response after the imagery flashed in his mind. “Ouch.”

******* 
Adam Larabee sat in Four Corners, slightly dazzled by the rush of stars sweeping past the window as the ship travelled at warp, sipping hot chocolate and contemplating the strange course his life had taken. Six weeks earlier, he had been a soldier in the Resistance, fighting Romulans in an alternate dimension. Now, he was just a teenager, without responsibility, with a father he’d never known, in a place that was paradise in comparison to where he had been. Even after five weeks in this universe, it was still taking some getting used to.

As if the state of the universe wasn’t disconcerting enough, he was still accustoming himself to the different versions of people he was meeting. Most notably, of course, was Vin Tanner, whose incarnation in Adam’s home universe was the Commander of the Tal Shiar, Svinak. Yet, one only had to spend five minutes in Vin’s company to know he was nothing like his other version. While Adam was still getting used to not searching for a weapon every time he saw the man, Adam had to admit Vin Tanner seemed like a good guy.

Ezra Standish too, took some getting used to and while the man played cards like a Denebian sabretooth raptor, he was nothing like the opportunist Adam had known and found of all the people on the Maverick, it was Ezra whom Adam felt most comfortable talking to. Just as surprising was the presence of JD Dunne, who in that other life was a good friend and it stung a bit, this version didn’t recognise him. Considering what they’d gotten up to in their youth on Ceti Alpha, it was somewhat disappointing JD didn’t know him.

Then, of course, there was his father, Chris Larabee.

The crew had accepted he was Chris Larabee’s son without question, their loyalty to their Captain allowing none of them to taint his happiness by reacting to the peculiarities of the situation. To distinguish him from the Adam who passed away five years ago, Adam was given a middle name, something he never had before. So now he was identified in official records as Adam H Larabee, the H standing for Henry, the name of his grandfather on his mother’s side.

After his rescue from the alternate dimension, his father had taken him to Earth and Adam saw for the first time, the world of his birth. He saw the place where his father had grown up, the Texas ranch Vin Tanner had been good enough to let them use, the Pacific Ocean and as many sights of Earth that could be managed in the scant time afforded them. During the trip, Adam got a chance to know his father and found the Captain of the Maverick to be a little overprotective, but generally cautious about crowding in on him. Adam couldn’t say he minded because his mother had been the same way.

Now that the Maverick had shipped out of Deep Space Five, Adam found he had time on his hands and that was something he was unaccustomed to. Everything had been a fight for survival for most of his life and now that he was faced with an existence when he could simply live, he wasn’t certain what to do with his time. There seemed to be so much of it now.

“You look like a young man with a lot on his mind,” he heard a voice rising above the chatter of the other visitors to Four Corners, addressing him specifically. It was midday by the Maverick’s chronometer and most of the occupants in Four Corners were a mixture of families and off-duty crew. While the place was nowhere busy, there was just enough chatter for Adam to tune it out like the drone of white noise.

Josiah Sanchez stood in front of Adam Larabee’s table, smiling at the boy who looked somewhat pensive as he stared into the stars ahead. Considering the upheaval in his life of late, Josiah couldn’t blame Adam for feeling a little out of his depth.

“Josiah,” Adam greeted with a smile and then remembered this was a different version of the man. “You look different without an eye patch.”

Josiah crooked a brow. “An eye patch? Like a pirate?”

“No,” Adam shook his head. “Like a badass who kicked nine colours of Klingon butt and lost his eye in the process.”

“I did tangle with a Jem’Hadar once,” Josiah admitted. “But I managed to keep my pretty face intact.”

Adam laughed at that. “Would you like to sit?” He asked politely, his association with the Josiah he knew too strong for Adam to react to the man with anything but instant liking. “You’re the ship’s counsellor, aren’t you?”

“I am,” Josiah took up the invitation and sat across the young man at his table.

Adam stared at him for a moment, trying to equate this eloquent, soft-spoken man with the hard, grizzled war machine he knew for most of his life. That Josiah had been a gruff, hardened warrior with little patience to suffer fools, but Adam had adored him after they encountered each other in the colony he grew up in. He wondered if he would like this version as much.

“I don’t need a counsellor,” Adam pointed out. “Just saying, my head’s fine. Nothing rattling in here.”

“Doesn’t have to be for me to listen,” the Counsellor said smoothly, seeing the similarities in his behaviour that was so much like his father, it was uncanny. Like Chris, Adam’s determination to solve his problems on his own was very much a Larabee trait, Josiah realised.

“I’m okay, really,” Adam assured him. “I’m just getting used to all this.” He swept his gaze across Four Corners, at the sight of the pristine locale, the drop dead gorgeous bartender and the crew and families who did not know a day behind the high wire of slaving camps.

Even though this was a different Josiah, Adam found him easy to talk to, mostly because of his affection for the other Josiah Sanchez, masters of arms in the Resistance. The old warrior had always been happy to listen and impart truths to Adam when he needed it. He was one of the few male influences Adam had in his life. He wondered if this one would have similar pearls of wisdom.

“I can appreciate how overwhelming it might all be,” the Counsellor regarded the young man. “After where you have been, peacetime is hard to take. “

“Yeah,” Adam had to admit. “It's strange, not having to worry about who's watching me, whether the person I speak to next could be a Rommie spy. Hell, I have a bed now. I’ve never had a bed, it’s always been a bunk or a bedroll.”

Despite himself, the Counsellor felt his stomach lurch at that. He thought of his two daughters, Mara and Thalia, how he’d love walking into their bedroom when they were children, seeing the delightful evidence of their childhood hanging on the walls, the stuffed animals and toys, covering the floor and bed. No matter how many times he and Alya would tell them to pick up after themselves, that perennial mess would remain and only after the girls had moved out on their own, did Josiah realised how much he missed that chaos.

“How're things with your father?” Josiah asked, aware there was a vast difference between acknowledging the relationship and cohabitating. The boy was still grieving for his mother and in a short space of time, he acquired a father he never knew. While Adam seemed comfortable enough with the situation, it had to take some adjustment. Not just for Chris, who had to contend with a teenager, but for Adam who had to deal with a father, which was a very different dynamic than the close relationship he shared with the Mary Travis of that other universe.

“We’re getting along fine,” Adam answered neutrally. Although inwardly, Adam thought they were tiptoeing around each other, uncertain of how they ought to be behaving. It wasn’t like the familiarity shared with his mother and Adam sort of missed it, but he was uncertain of how to bridge that gulf and he suspected neither did his father.

“No problems at all?” Josiah hid the scepticism in his voice.

“No,” Adam replied, certain the man could see straight through him. “No problems at all.”

******* 

Seated at the bar not far from where Josiah and Adam were currently discussing the younger Larabee’s cohabitation with the master of the vessel, was the Chief Engineer of the Maverick. Julia Pemberton was taking a much-needed break as she stared into the tall glass of the Pina Colada she had yet to touch, trying to find enlightenment in the swirl of rum, pineapple and coconut milk. Lamenting its inability to provide her with answers, Julia was accustomed to being able to work around most problems. However, the answer to dealing with the impending calamity coming towards her at warp speed remained elusive.

Taking a sip of her drink, she wondered if she was overreacting.

“I know it’s only synthehol,” Inez Recillos paused in front of her, catching a glimpse of the titian-haired beauty’s sombre expression and felt compelled to investigate. “But isn’t it early for drinks with little umbrellas in it?”

“It’s never too early for drinks with umbrellas in it,” Julia grumbled and raised her emerald coloured eyes to the sultry Latin beauty who ruled supreme over Four Corners. “I have a serious problem.”

Inez raised a brow and looked at her suspiciously, although it was difficult to take seriously the problems of a woman drinking a Pina Colada. “When the Chief Engineer of the Maverick states we have a serious problem, that gives me concern Senorita.”

“Oh, the ship’s fine,” Julia took a deep sip from the swirly straw and pulled the cherry from the toothpick attached to the edge of the glass, with her teeth. “The Maverick is the one man in my life who doesn’t give me trouble. No, I’m talking about the other one.”

The other being Ezra Standish, Inez guessed and listened intently. It certainly could not be any worse than listening to Charlotte Richmond claim she would never get promoted because Alex Styles was punishing her for almost sleeping with Vin. Or Drew Katovit’s fears his new girlfriend was moving too fast because she’d started replicating his clothes. Worse yet, trying to offer solace to Ensign Plyford’s who was worried about her expertise with the oboe may not be up to the standards of Commander Oxley who ruled the ship’s classical music society.

“You mean Ezra?” Inez rosed a brow. “I was under the impression everything was going well between the two of you.”

“It is,” Julia frowned and decided perhaps a friendly ear might serve better than the non-existent advice in her relationship bible, the Cosmo News Feed. “My parents want to meet Ezra.”

After a year together, Inez was rather surprised it hadn’t already happened. Of course, it was difficult for her to make such a judgement since Inez and Raphael had been childhood sweethearts who lived in the same village and whose families were so intertwined, it was a redundant gesture.

“Why is this a problem?”

Aside from being one of the most respected investigators in the quadrant, Ezra Standish was the Security Chief on one of the most prestigious ships in Starfleet. While it was not the flagship like the Enterprise, the Maverick certainly ranked as a plum assignment, most would be happy to get. Furthermore, Ezra was a senior bridge officer and a lieutenant commander, certainly good material as a potential suitor in the eyes of any parent.

“Are you kidding?” Julia threw her hands up in exasperation. “You should have seen what it was like when we got Huxley! When I mentioned the possibility of living together, Ezra jumped in a runabout and went to another dimension! If I told him he had to meet my parents, he’ll take the first shuttle to the Gamma Quadrant and I’ll never see him again. The man has serious commitment issues!”

“Haven’t you two been seeing each other for a year now?” Inez inquired.

Like the rest of the ship, Inez was aware the Security Chief had been smitten with Julia Pemberton the instant he came on board the Maverick and laid eyes on her. While the two had weathered some difficulties over the last year, particularly after the invasion by the Accrans, theirs was probably one of the least turbulent relationships on board the Maverick. It was obvious to anyone who saw them together, how much in love with each other they were, but Inez had to admit, after a year, they should be moving to the next level of the relationship. And owning a cat together didn’t count.

“Yes,” Julia nodded. “I thought he was ready after we got Huxley, but I don’t think he likes cats. How can a man not like cats? What if we have children and he doesn’t like them! According to my Cosmo News Feed, that is the sign of a man who isn’t ready for commitment!”

“There’s a big difference between children and a Persian that apparently feels the need to destroy fine fabrics,” Inez pointed out, having heard the Security Chief grumble about the feline once or twice in the bar. Apparently, Huxley had little respect for Ezra’s refined tastes and had laid waste to more than one piece of furniture.

“But Cosmo...”

“For the love of God, stop reading that junk!” Inez said exasperated, noting the data pad in front of her. She picked up the thing and perused the articles displayed. “How to land a man who loves too many women?” She stared at the article for a moment before shaking her head and putting it down again. She’d read it later.

“It’s a guilty pleasure!” Julia declared. “I mean, look at Vin and Alex, they didn’t have any problems with commitment. They met the same time as me and Ezra and now they’re married!”

“Oh yeah,” Inez rolled her eyes, “let’s use Vin and Alex as an example, I mean forgetting the whole Pon Farr thing where he went barking mad and she had to fight him to the death. That’s real normal.”

“My parents will be at Deep Space Five the next time we put in,” Julia sighed draining her glass. “They want to meet Ezra and I just know if I tell him about it, he’s going to let himself be assimilated by the Borg to get out of meeting them.”

From space, Hadir Prime seemed like an oasis in the wilderness.

Staring at it through the view screen once the Maverick arrived at the planet a day later, the display presented a lush, green world through swirls of snow-white clouds, with half the surface covered in oceans, not unlike that of Earth. On the far side of the planet, the crescent shape of twin moons peered back at them almost shyly. The beauty of the planet tugged at those of them on the bridge, still longing for Earth after their recent shore leave.

“It’s a pretty place,” Buck commented as the bridge crew took in the sight of the iridescent jewel displayed before them. “One of the more hospital M-Class planets we’ve come across in the Frontier.”

“Definitely,” Chris agreed, studying the world and then looked over his shoulder at Alex. “What do your scans say.”

“Definitely Minshara Class,” the science officer did not look up from her science station as she gave her report. “Fifty per cent of the planet’s surface is water, with a nitrogen-oxygen atmosphere, with abundant life readings. One of the two moons is capable of supporting life. There is a population of two billion people and at least five major cities. I’m detecting a highly sophisticated pergium energy system, far more advanced than we’re currently employing in our colonies.  I’m having trouble scanning below the planet’s surface but that would be consistent with the interference from pergium radiation.”

“Can we get a view of their capital?” Mary asked Chris. “I believe it’s called Azalea.”

“JD?” Chris glanced at the navigator.

“Sure Captain,” JD replied and tapped his console.  No sooner than he replied in the affirmative, the image of Azalea appeared before them.

The capital of Hadir Prime, Azalea reflected a highly advanced civilisation on par with the core worlds of the Federation such as Earth, Trill, Andoria and even Vulcan.  With tall, gleaming towers of marble and glass, the city was punctuated by numerous plazas, parks, statues and gardens, making it not only an inviting place to live but a great place for the crew while they conducted their negotiations with the Tribunal, the ruling authority on the planet.  Aside from the recreational facilities, the city boasted shops and restaurants, places of interests that included museums, zoos and large markets.

“Shore leave?” Buck asked Chris, as they took in the sight of the sprawling city before them.

“We can ask,” Chris remarked in agreement.

“Captain,” Ezra spoke up. “I’ve scanned the planet and it is as they have claimed, they do not appear to have any kind of weapons. I have detected a number of orbital platforms but from what I can discern, they are mostly for the purposes of communications and environmental study.”

“So, they’re out here totally defenceless?” Vin remarked.  The world was quite beautiful and judging by the sight of the city, quite prosperous. It was no wonder they were having trouble with raiders. Hadir Prime looked ripe for plunder.

“It appears so,” Chris answered. “With the collapse of the Romulan Empire and the Neutral Zone, Romulan ships that used to patrol this side of the border are now gone, raiders are trespassing through their space to reach Hadir. I can understand why Hadir would be asking for protection. If they get Federation membership, we may be able to establish a base in this area, the same way we’ve established one over Lysia.”

“We should be within sensor range by now,” Buck commented when almost on cue, the familiar beep from JD’s communication console filled the air.

“Captain,” JD spoke up a second later, “We’re being hailed.”

“I guess they know we’re here,” Chris threw a glance at both Mary and Buck one after the other. “Put it through,” Chris nodded at the ensign.

The view screen flickered to life, revealing a humanoid looking man in his sixties, with snow-white hair and an ornate tattoo on the side of his face. With a round nose and rosy cheeks, the cerulean coloured tattoo which ran from his temple to his chin resembled a bird of some kind. The man did not look at the screen. Instead, his attention was focused on a pin on the lapel of his tunic, tapping it insistently with growing annoyance, unaware he had an audience.

“Is this thing on? Can they hear me? Well, of course, I know how it works! I didn’t get to be a Head Tribune because of my pretty face you know?” The man snapped heatedly at someone beyond the view of the screen. “If you can get it to work, then come down here or else you can kiss my big hairy...” he turned his head just enough to notice he was facing the Captain of the Maverick before he burst into a wide smile. “Oh, there you are! Hello!”

With supreme effort, Chris managed to maintain a straight face, even though the rest of his crew was struggling to remain composed. Buck had to cover his face with his hand, suddenly clearing his throat. Mary was suddenly examining something on the skirt of her dress with deep scrutiny, while Alex was tapping furiously on her science station console while Ezra, ever the consummate gambler, maintained his perfect poker face. Vin’s unflappable expression managed to hold firm too, while JD simply stared, too astonished to imagine this was anything but someone’s idea of a joke.

“Hello,” Chris returned the greeting, albeit with less exuberance, although his amusement was apparent to all who knew him. “I’m Captain Christopher Larabee of the Federation starship USS Maverick. We’re pleased to meet you.”

“Well that’s too much of a mouthful to say if we are to be friends Captain,” the man continued to smile, exuding a warmth that somehow managed to cross space to fill the bridge. “I’ll just call you Chris. That’s alright isn’t it Chris? I mean if we’re going to be a part of one happy Federation, we might as well start off on the right foot.”

This time, Chris couldn’t help but smile. “Not at all. My friends call me Chris and you are?”

“My name is Corban Setlan, I’m the Head Tribune of Hadir Prime and once again, on behalf of my planet, we welcome you and your crew. As you can imagine, our remote location does not allow us to get many visitors, so we are extremely excited to meet all of you...Oh my is that a Vulcan?” The man exclaimed suddenly.

Vin stared blankly at the screen and looked over his shoulder at Chris, uncertain whether he ought to be upset or amused at being singled out. He hated anyone taking notice of his Vulcan heritage, especially when he was completely severed from his people.

“Yes,” Chris exchanged a glance with Vin, somewhat taken back by how easily distracted this man appeared to be. “Lieutenant Tanner is a Vulcan.”

“How fascinating,” Setlan grinned. “The lieutenant must come down. We’ve never seen a Vulcan before. Is it true they only mate once every seven years?”

Vin just about choked on his spit while Alex who was at her science station muttered under her breath. “Thank God, no.”

The comment reached Ezra’s ears and succeeded in cracking the Security Chief’s impenetrable facade and he flashed her a dimpled smile, which Alex returned with a dark look.

“Uh,” Chris was struggling hard not to laugh at this point. “Well, I’ll let Lieutenant Tanner answer that question later. Tribune Setlan, we should meet to begin discussions on your application for Federation membership.” He cleared his throat, daring not to look over his shoulder at his bridge crew or at his best friend who had to be dying with embarrassment by now. As it stood, Vin hated being reminded he was Vulcan, having little or no contact with his people due to his past circumstances, and the comment about Vulcan sexuality made so openly, had to be mortifying.

“Of course, of course,” Setlan remarked dismissing the comment with a wave of his hand. “We have plenty of time to do that.  We have prepared a celebration for you and your senior staff in anticipation of your arrival, we should like all of you to attend. My assistant... VEER!” He barked on top of his lungs at some hapless assistant who appeared meekly in view, a similarly rotund young man with plump red cheeks and a much put-upon expression. “This is Veer, my assistant. He will send you all the requirements for your attendance at our celebration.”

Veer could only offer Chris and the bridge a very subdued wave before Setlan shoved him off the screen and faced the Captain again.  “Well Captain,” Setlan beamed widely at them. “We look forward to seeing you very soon.”

“Likewise,” Chris answered, still trying to wrap his mind around the whole encounter. “We look forward to it.”

With that, the connection was cut, and it was done followed by a loud exhale from everyone on the bridge before a burst of riotous laughter. Even Chris was grinning as he stared back at Buck and Mary and had to ask. “What the hell was that?”

From all accounts, the Hadir was a highly advanced culture but the exchange from the leader of the planet no less was an exercise in farce.

“I have no idea,” Mary shrugged helplessly, unable to shed any light on Setlan’s amusing behaviour. “They are certainly...” she paused trying to find the correct word. “Eccentric.”

“Eccentric?” Buck laughed. “That’s one way of putting it.”

“I thought he was kind of funny,” JD remarked. True, he was new to diplomacy, but even he had to admit, they stood out. 

“Well if nothing else,” Ezra remarked, “our time on the surface will be quite entertaining. Right Commander?” He winked at Alex.

“Are you alright Vin?” Chris asked the Vulcan who had yet to comment.  Knowing Vin, he was still recovering from having such a personal question being blurted out in such a public forum. Alex, on the other hand, was jabbing Ezra in the ribs now that the Security Chief was free to make use of his rapier wit on the science officer.

“I ain’t going down there,” Vin turned around and looked at his Captain. “Christ only knows what they are going to ask me.” His usually unflappable self, appearing like a child throwing a tantrum.

“Sorry Vin,” Chris said sympathetically, “the Federation Council wants the Hadir, so we’re going to have to play nice with them. I’m guessing if you don’t show, Setlan is going to notice.”

“Don’t worry Vin,” Buck grinned, “Just mention, its once every seven years to make the women insatiable and that ought to do it.”

“Oh, Christ!” Vin groaned visibly, meeting Alex’s gaze helplessly.

“I’ll just tell them that Vulcan’s view questions about their sexuality as a challenge of combat to the death,”  Alex said with a completely straight face.

Vin’s eyes widened before he slapped his face with his hand, wishing the deck would open and swallow him whole even as the rest of the bridge broke out into laughter, with Chris chuckling quietly at his best friend’s dread at what their visit to Hadir was going to be like. Particularly if the natives appeared as fascinated with the Vulcan as he imagined they were going to be.

“Don’t you dare,” Mary gave Alex mock warning once she was suitably composed herself. As it was, this had the makings of one of the more unusual diplomatic missions, she’d undertaken in her career. “They might take you seriously.”

“Oh Christ,” Vin groaned even louder. "I don't want to be challenging half the planet to a fight!" 

“What are you worried about?” Ezra grinned. “Is it not usually Alex who defeats you in the holodeck.”

“I let her win,” the Vulcan defended himself promptly, even though he was only half telling the truth.

“Sure, you did,” Chris said with a straight face.

“Some friend,” Vin threw Chris a look, reminding himself the next time the Captain was in danger of falling into a river when they were white water rafting, Vin was going to let him.  Exchanging a look with Alex, he gave her a good-natured wink and let out a sigh. “I suppose if nothing else, this mission won’t be dull.”

“Captain, do you think they’ll let us go down to the planet for shore leave?” JD asked, eager to look at the planet itself. From what they were seeing from orbit, it looked like a nice place to visit, what with those wide oceans and lush vegetation.

“They did invite us to visit,” Buck reminded Chris.

“We’ll put it to them,” Chris answered and then sobered up, remembering the Hadir had another reason for wishing Federation membership, other than ending their self-imposed exile. They had been beset by enemies who were raiding their pergium operations.  For all their quirky behaviour, these people needed help. “Let’s not get too relaxed. The reason they’ve asked for membership is because they’re being attacked by raiders.”

“That’s true,” Vin agreed, glad to move onto a more serious subject and not the ordeal he would have to endure this evening.  “Have they any idea of who these raiders might be?”

“Not according to the reports,” Buck explained for Chris. “They used to sell their surplus pergium to the Romulans but since the collapse of the Empire, they’ve been keeping stockpiles of the stuff at a facility on their second moon. The raiders have been targeting the place to get their hands on the pergium.”

“I’ll conduct a scan of the second moon Captain,” Alex suggested. “There may be residual warp signatures left behind we can use to identify who they are.”

“My guess is they will be the Orion Syndicate or perhaps some criminal element operating in the Empire, now no longer constrained by the Romulan military.”  Ezra speculated, more than familiar with what criminal element might find the remote location of the Hadir an inviting target. “We should anticipate trouble.”

“Agreed, put us on Condition One alert, Ezra,” Chris ordered, accepting the security chief’s recommendation. Prior to the fall of the empire, the Romulan kept a tight rein on its people, with its dreaded Tal Shiar network and draconian approach to civil liberties.  While they were not thugs, they did not have much patience for legal trickery and the burden of proof in any Romulan court of law rested with the accused with only severe penalties for the guilty. “These raiders, whoever they are, may try to derail Hadir’s application to the Federation if they know we’re here.  Once Hadir becomes a part of the Federation, their free ride will be over.”

“Aye Sir,” Ezra replied, grateful for Captain’s desire for precaution. As the Chief of Security, the eccentricities of the Hadir were too much of a distraction, particularly when there was a credible threat in existence.

Suddenly, the familiar beeping of an incoming transmission filled the air, with everyone recognised it for what it was as it emanated from JD’s station.   It took no more than a second for the young ensign to look up and to confirm their suspicions.

“Captain, I’m receiving an incoming transmission from the Tribune’s office. Shall I patch it through to your ready room?”

“It’s probably the details of the function we’re meant to attend,” Chris replied. Feeling in no hurry to study the endless rules and customs they were required to observe, he smiled wickedly to himself before responding. “No need JD, transfer it to the Protocol Officer.” He flashed her a smile, telling himself she was better at unravelling the peculiarities of the Hadir, better than he was.

“Thank you,” Mary replied, perfectly aware he was fobbing off the job on her, under the guise of delegation because he detested reviewing cultural data.  Chris preferred she studied the content first and then give him an abridged version of how he needed to behave, like which salad fork to use at a state dinner or during one occasion, how complementing a delegate’s distinct nasal ridge could result in interplanetary war.

Who knew Alkamarians kept their genitals on their faces?  Chris had found trying to keep a straight face after Mary made that revelation harder than facing off with the Dominion fleet trying to destroy them.

“Transferring it now,” JD informed dutifully.

“Christ only knows what they’re going to make us do,” Vin grumbled, already expecting a plethora of embarrassing questions when he met these people face to face if Setlan’s reaction was any indication.

“I think it will be a hoot,” Buck grinned. “I mean, for once we got folks wanting to join who might be a little colourful. Hell, that can’t be bad.”

“True,” Chris agreed, remembering some of the more painful diplomatic errands he had been forced to endure since obtaining his captaincy. Anything outside of the norm would be welcome.   “Trust me Vin, after you’ve been to a music recital by the Binars, you die a little inside.”

“Damn straight,” Buck agreed, recalling having to attend that function right along with Chris. “I never wanted a hand phaser so badly in my entire life.”

“Not to mention the Binars are hermaphrodites, so you could not even charm any of them into your bed, although considering their size...” Ezra remarked, aware how bereft Buck felt when he was on any planet without a population of curvaceous alien beauties to charm.

“Oh my God.” Alex managed to wince at the visual imagery that was produced in her mind after the logistics of human Binar coupling was suggested. She gave Ezra a dark look of distaste. “It’s official, I’m assigned to a ship of idiots.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Chris grinned, enjoying it greatly when their usually reserved and composed science officer became ruffled. When Alex had come on board, she had been nicknamed the Ice Queen and Chris alleviated his boredom during dull stellar mapping assignments by seeing how much he could affect a thaw by annoying her. Meeting Vin’s gaze, Chris grinned because they had scored another direct hit. “I’m sure what the Hadir have planned for us will be vastly more entertaining than the concert of algorithm music performed by the Binars.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Mary replied suddenly, her voice thick sounding chagrined. It drew Chris’s attention to her immediately and he swung around in his command chair to see her lowering her data padd onto her lap, her expression disbelief and puzzlement.

“What?” Vin asked, catching the look on her face, dreading what she was about to reveal to them. After the Hadir’s inquiry about his sex life, Vin was bracing himself for an even worst indignity to be visited on all of them.

“The celebration in our honour,” Mary announced, aware this was going to be received with a chorus of questions and complaints. “Is a costume party.”

“A costume party? For a diplomatic function?” Alex baulked. “Are these people taking these negotiations seriously or are they just trying to mess with us?” She hated playing dress up.

“For the amount of pergium we are gaining out of their candidacy, one assumes they can make all the demands they like,” Ezra remarked. “Besides, I see no difference between this and our sojourns in the holodeck.”

“They want us to dress up as what we wanted to be when we grew up as children,”  Mary said with a sigh, having no intention of going anywhere dressed up as Batgirl.

That did make Chris stare. “You’re joking.”

“I wish I was,” Mary said handing him the padd, so he could see the transmission for himself.

Chris studied the instructions provided by Veer and had only one thing to say. “I call dibs on starship captain.”

“I find it extremely unfair, you get to wear a uniform.” Mary Travis complained hours later when she arrived at the celebration on Azalea at the arm of Chris Larabee, who was wearing his formal uniform while she, having forced to adhere to the conditions set by Corban Setlan, was in costume.

“That’s why I called dibs,” Chris wore a smug smirk and felt doubly satisfied because the costume she had chosen to wear, met with his approval in every way. Even though she was covered from the neck down, the figure-hugging leather bodysuit she wore accentuated every perfect curve and Chris could only let out a sigh, as he charted every inch in his study. “So, who are you again? Batgirl?”

Mary’s eyes flashed. “I swear I will kill my mother,” she growled under her breath. Only Adelaide Sheridan could have imparted to Chris that particular 20th-century superhero had been her idol until she reached her teens. “And no,” she made a face, “Batgirl has a cape and cowl, I’m Black Widow...” she saw the widening grin on his face and bit back. “Oh, shut up.”

Chris tried to imagine his elegant and poised Protocol Officer, imagining herself jumping off rooftops and fighting outlandish villains in her youth and couldn’t keep the chuckle from escaping his lips. Just when he thought he knew everything about the woman, she’d surprised him with another interesting facet of her personality. How on Earth did she manage to keep that irrepressible spirit restrained when she was married to Syan. It was no wonder Mary’s mother Adelaide, had such difficulty with the union. No wonder, she feared her daughter’s spirit would be crushed under harsh Vulcan practicality.

In any case, he had to work out a way to get her into tights and a cape.

“No kidding,” Vin grumbled, having transported with Chris and Mary at the same time, along with Alex who was at his arm. He was not looking forward to this at all. He envisioned an evening of poking and prodding, not to mention being bombarded with embarrassing questions about his mating habits. Fortunately, he was a little more comfortable with the costume requirements of the party, having opted for the clothes he wore in the Magnificent Seven holo-program. With slouch hat and buckskin jacket, he took on the persona of the unflappable tracker even if the Officer of the Conn was dreading this event.

“Hey what are you complaining about?” Chris gave him a look. “You get to come to a party with the Queen of the Nile.”

Chris was, of course, referring to Alex who was costumed in the persona of an Egyptian Queen, complete with ornate neck piece and a falcon headdress. Against her dusky skin, she looked decidedly exotic and very capable of living up to the reputation of Cleopatra, one of history’s most alluring women. However, if that was what Alex wanted to be when she grew up, then she was more ambitious than he knew, and Chris had better start watching his ass.

She might be after his job.

“I thought you wanted to be a ballerina when you were little,” Mary declared and then winced because Alex might have wanted that little morsel kept secret, especially from present company.

“A ballerina?” Both Chris and Vin said in unison.

“Oh, thank you very much, Batgirl,” Alex growled, her face reddening under her dusky colour and groaned inwardly when she saw both Captain and helmsman staring at her with a mixture of astonishment and amusement.

“Sorry,” Mary apologised and waited for the comments from the two men, she surely knew was coming.

“You’re kidding, you mean with pointed shoes and a tutu?” Vin tried not to smirk, but it escaped him nonetheless. Just when he thought he knew everything about her...

“If you ever want to have sex with me again, we will not speak of this,” Alex warned with menace, but Vin continued to smirk, mostly because he knew what an empty threat that was. He had the fingernail marks on his back to prove it, he thought with a satisfied smile.

Fortunately, he could rely on Chris to pick up the gauntlet and make the comment he could not.

“Why Commander, I had no idea you were so inclined,” Chris said unable to keep the laughter from escaping his throat. Alex spent her spare time on the holodeck fighting monsters with bath’lets and had to be the most abrasive female he’d ever met. Trying to imagine her doing pirouettes and twirls was enough to break Chris Larabee’s usually controlled demeanour.

“I was eight! It was either a ballerina or a trapeze artist.”

“Trapeze artist?” Vin couldn’t keep it down now and started laughing harder, with Chris joining in.

Alex scowled and gave Mary a look. “Remind me to tell the Captain about all your embarrassing childhood memories.”

“It’s alright,” Chris said with a smug smile. “After learning her name is Marigold, nothing much else is going to shock me.”

Mary smouldered and once again, promised secretly she was going to kill her mother.

They were the last to arrive at the Tribunate Hall, where the senior staff had been invited to the ‘celebration’ as Setlan called it, in their honour. It was a splendidly grand room, with a floor and columns of rust coloured Valencia marble, ornately carved walls, with wide windows providing a spectacular view of the city, from the hill the Tribunate was situated, not to mention the exquisitely painted murals on the ceiling. Along with the senior staff were numerous dignitaries from the Tribunate of Hadir, along with guests and significant others. They were similarly decked out in colourful costumes although Chris could not imagine what all of them were meant to portray.

Chris immediately caught sight of Buck who was holding court with several Hadir, unsurprisingly women. His First Officer was wearing the costume of a pulp serial character Chris couldn’t place, wearing a sable Fedora, a leather jacket and a bullwhip hanging at his hip. The women were eyeing him like he was tastier than hor 'd oeuvres being ferried about by servers on silver platters.

Next to him was JD, who was dressed in a New York Yankees baseball uniform, wearing the jersey belonging to Babe Ruth, the greatest baseball player of all time. JD was watching the master at work, fascinated as Buck managed to talk the quintet of women into God only knew what, but was certain Chris would hear about in the morning. Either from Buck himself or from Nathan when the doctor was required to administer the penicillin hypospray.

Meanwhile, in another corner of the room, Ezra was with Julia Pemberton talking to another group of dignitaries. The Security Chief was dressed like a 20th-century noir detective, complete with trench coat, dark suit and a grey fedora. Chris was rather surprised he wasn’t dressed as his favourite gambler from the Magnificent holodeck program but the could imagine the man as a hardened P.I. in the vein of Sam Spade. Of course, the intensity of the Dashiell Hammett character was somewhat blunted by the medieval princess he was standing next to, complete with pointy hat and flowing sleeves.

Even Nathan was in costume, Chris noted. The healer wearing the uniform of a WWI fighter pilot and was trying to shield Rain with his jacket, to cover the exposed parts of her genie costume which Chris had to admit, she wore well. So, few women could make harem pants and veils work for them. Josiah on the other hand was dressed like a space pirate, complete with sidearm, long coat and high spaceman’s boots. Chris suspected Josiah had imagined flying the spaceways like some ranger during his years trapped in an office on Earth at Starfleet Medical.

It was a pity Chris couldn’t bring Adam to this celebration but supposed the boy would be bored by all this palavering. Even though they’d spent a month together, their relationship still felt fragile, with both walking around each other on eggshells, uncertain how to deal with this new normal between them. Chris made a mental note to spend some time with him during these negotiations because he knew Adam was still feeling a little displaced.

Then again, Adam was also seventeen years old on board a ship with a lot of teenage girls and just so happened to be the Captain’s son, so Chris had an idea he might be able to entertain himself. Suddenly, Chris was struck with the memory of how he’d entertained himself at seventeen and wondered if he ought to have Ezra sent out a ship-wide alert, for all crew to lock up their daughters.

“Chris!”

The booming voice of Corban Setlan exploded in his ears as the man approached them, arms outstretched, wearing a wide grin on his face. Following two paces behind was Veer, who looked as if he were dressed in some kind of harlequin’s costume, his face painted white. Setlan appeared as if he were trying for the Emperor of the Known Universe by the ornate embroidery on his tunic. There were epaulettes on his shoulder and thick chunky jewellery on his fingers, to say nothing of the ridiculous looking hat that resembled something Napoleon might have worn before riding into battle.

As he approached, he waved over a server carrying a tray of brightly coloured drinks in their direction.

“Tribune Setlan,” Chris greeted, wearing a bemused expression as he took one of the flutes of bright blue fluid and took a sip. Behind him, Chris was certain Vin was physically shrinking to avoid being seen by the bombastic leader of Hadir. “It is good to meet you in person.”

Setlan, who obviously didn’t understand the notion of personal space on any level, gave Chris no time to react before he was wrapped up in a bear hug.

“Mr Vulcan!” He shifted over to Vin and repeated the same gesture, giving the helmsman no chance to escape, unaware that even if Vin was not raised Vulcan, he still had some of their sensibilities and found unwanted physical contact, (unless it was from ballet dancing science officers who regularly kicked his ass in combat), distasteful

Fortunately, Vin endured it without creating an intergalactic incident by knocking the man on his ass.

When Setlan pulled back he immediately launched into an impassioned apology. “Mr Vulcan, Veer has told me it was extremely rude to mention your mating habits in public.”

Veer quickly hurried up to Setlan and whispered in the man’s ear.

“And to refer to you as Mr Vulcan.” He concluded with a frown.

“Uh that’s okay,” Vin replied, wishing he were anywhere else but here. “You can call me Vin.”

“Vin! How wonderfully economical.” Setlan smiled broadly and turned to the two females in the group.

Inwardly, Chris hoped Setlan didn’t go grabbing Mary in the same way because he knew for a fact, she would not appreciate it and God only knew what Alex would do. Fortunately, Setlan merely tipped forward gallantly in a bow and smiled at Mary and Alex respectively. “Please introduce me to these charming ladies.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, Chris quickly made introductions. “This is my Protocol Officer, Lieutenant Mary Travis and my second officer, Lt Commander Alexandra Styles.”

“How lovely to meet you both,” he smiled. “I must say, Captain, you have filled your ship with some fascinating crew. I was just in conversation with Lt. Rain. Do you know she has another organism living in her body?”

“Yes,” Chris uttered a small laugh, finding Setlan’s enthusiasm difficult to dislike. “She’s a Trill and the organism is a symbiote. She’s probably got more lifetimes than all of us put together.”

“Yes,” Setlan remarked with an enigmatic smile. “Tell me how you are enjoying the Blue Vale?”

“The Blue Vale?” Mary inquired.

“Our finest cider,” he gestured to the flutes they were all drinking from, specifically the blue concoction that seemed to have properties making it glow. “It comes from the Blue Vale plant that is harvested once every five hundred years. We take the fruit and make it into the cider you are now enjoying. It is something we serve only our most honoured guests.”

“We appreciate the regard,” Mary replied with a smile. “Perhaps we can return the favour with the selection we have on board the Maverick.”

“Absolutely,” Chris agreed. “Have you had much contact with other cultures, Tribune Setlan?”

“Unfortunately, not,” Setlan admitted, his expression revealing his distress by this. “We’ve remained cloistered away here because we found Romulans were somewhat disagreeable and had a tendency for duplicity. We are peaceful by nature and love our freedom. The Hadir cannot conceive of a way of life where authoritarianism is the rule of the day. The Romulans were too rigid and hostile for our liking. We traded with them out of necessity because one must sometimes compromise to keep the peace. Unfortunately, they tend to keep extremely tight control of their territory, so many of the races who might have been inclined to buy our pergium were deterred by their presence.”

“I can believe that,” Mary nodded in understanding. “They are not known as a race that likes to share.”

“Yes,” Setlan frowned. “But I was nevertheless distressed to hear of their troubles. Death on such a scale is beyond our comprehension and yet it has happened to them. One of the reasons we approached the Federation for membership is because we are in a position to offer the Empire some of our pergium stockpile, free of charge of course. We hoped the Federation could act on our behalf on this matter.”

“That’s very generous of you,” Chris said with mild surprise. “I’m sure the Federation would be pleased to assist in any way we can.”

It was a genuine sentiment because the pergium would go a long way to restoring some of the colonies, crippled by the destruction caused by the nova. Many were without power or necessities. Despite the odd behaviour of the Hadir, Chris could sense their offer was genuine and was rather touched by it.

“We are fortunate to occupy a world that has furnished our needs for two millennia. We have not had a war in almost that long. In fact, our people tend to be rather spoiled in that regard. The last despot we had was Kervis the Irritating.”

“Kervis the Irritating?” Alex had to ask, while next to her Vin was convinced they were trapped in some alternate universe where instead of everyone being evil, they were just insane.

“Yes, he went on this planetary wide crusade to make sure all statues wore pants,” Setlan explained, shaking his head as if he was explaining some national shame.

“You mean carved with pants,” Vin clarified because his mind rebelled at any other possibility.

“No, wearing actual pants.”

******* 

In the event he did not marry Inez and have a mess of children and possibly retire to a llama farm on Risa, (he hadn’t made up his mind yet), it was quite possible Buck Wilmington might eventually settle down on Hadir. Apparently, the Hadir did not practise monogamous relationships and considered a one-night stand something that had to include at least five different people, only one of which had to be male. He discovered this approximately ten minutes after talking to a quintet of women who were a dance troop of some kind, who invited him to partake in something they called the Dance of Inferno, in which he could take a central part.

While the concept of taking on five women in a night was something he hadn’t entertained in recent years. He’d done it once during a weekend rager on Risa that involved semi-legal aphrodisiacs and a LOT of liquor. Buck was uncertain if he ought to be indulging in such debauchery during a diplomatic mission. Mindful of Chris’s reminder about angry fathers and severed appendages, Buck managed to tear himself away and drown his sorrows in the tasty Blue Vale that was being served so prodigiously.

“What happened Buck?” JD managed to ask, “I thought you were going with those girls, to do their Dance of Inferno.”

JD looked over his shoulder at the five disappointed women, a wonderful picture of diversity with their creamy, bronzed and pale skins, spilling out of tight dresses, filling him with thoughts that would only get him in trouble. At the moment, the love of his life was suffering from Rigellian flu and looked kind of gross, even though he’d lied through his teeth and told her she was pretty.

Girls.

As it was, he promised to get back early from this celebration, because he wanted to lift her spirits a little, since she was thoroughly miserable when he left her. Besides, she was especially annoyed at having Yeoman Shavila to take on her duties for the Captain during her illness and was last seen plotting some form of Bajoran water torture on the Andorian if she tried to take Casey’s job.

“Nah,” Buck shook his head. “Not this time JD. We’re on mission and I don’t want to put my foot in it if something goes wrong.”

“Your foot Buck?” JD couldn’t help but smirk.

“Very funny,” Buck yanked the baseball cap on his head further down his face. “You’re picking up bad habits from Vin.”

“I’m going back up to the Maverick,” JD replied, setting down the glass of Blue Vale he’d yet to touch. For some reason, the drink reminded him of blue toilet water.

“Say hi to Casey for me,” Buck said good-naturedly, aware the girl was unwell. Truth be told, if he could leave early, he would too. For some reason, he felt like seeing what Inez was doing.

As JD started to head off, they both heard Rain calling after them. “Hey JD, are you heading back to the ship?”

The lovely transporter chief had left Nathan with Josiah and was closing the distance to the younger man and the first officer.

“Yeah, you are leaving too, Rain?” JD asked.

“I’m on duty in an hour,” Rain said with a sigh. It was the reason she had stayed away from any alcohol all night, despite her wish to try the Blue Vale cider. “Besides, I don’t think the Doc can handle anyone seeing my belly button. I think he might be an outie and my innie is just upsetting his delicate sensibilities.”

“Yeah, that’s what it is,” Buck remarked, trying not to laugh at her description of Nathan’s phobia which had more to do with her exposure than the unfortunate cut of her umbilical cord at birth. The doctor had swept in faster than the Red Baron with his jacket in an effort to protect her modesty, much to everyone’s amusement.

“See you later Buck,” JD bade the First Officer goodnight before he and Rain took off to a discreet corner of the building, to request transport back to the Maverick.

“Keep the Doc out of trouble for me,” Rain threw in and JD gave her a look, wondering if she was asking the right person for that particular job. The last time Buck took care of Nathan, Vin or the Captain for that matter, Mary Travis had been forced to bail them out of jail and make some impassioned apologies to the town elder they’d inadvertently insulted, while in a state of extreme inebriation.

“You’re asking him?” Buck heard JD hiss at Rain as they walked away.

Buck shook his head and turned back to the celebrations, taking note of a group of matronly women, surrounding Vin like he was the zebra at a lioness luau. They were all trying to get a look at his ears while Alex was temporarily distracted by her discussion with some science type who was gawking at her like the queen she was.

Something told Buck, this was going to be a long night.

Chris woke up in his bed feeling strange.

It wasn’t the kind of strange one experiences after waking up in an unfamiliar bed, wondering why you had the taste of chocolate syrup in your mouth, or the fact there was a furry tail wrapped around your waist and the bodies lying next to you were both male and female.  There wasn’t even the raging headache that came with the drinking to have precipitated such a situation in the first place. He just felt strange.

Blinking his eyes open, Chris was vaguely aware he was in his bedroom on the Maverick after enjoying what ended up being quite an entertaining party, after the initial awkwardness had been hurdled. The Hadir knew how to throw a party with copious amounts of Blue Vale cider being served, allowing everyone to relax by the time the entertainment began, which included everything from dancing girls, acrobats and magicians.

Even Vin had relaxed when the novelty of his ears had worn off, particularly after Alex in a drunken slip, had revealed the tips of Vulcan ears were an erogenous zone, inviting every woman in the place to test the theory. Meanwhile, the last Chris saw of Josiah was when the Counsellor disappeared with five women. At some point, there was dancing, and it was rather surreal seeing Sam Spade engaging in an intimate waltz with a medieval princess.

Needing the urge to make a visit to the bathroom, Chris shifted in his bed and found the covers especially uncooperative this morning. He wondered if he had gotten cold during the night. He seemed to have buried himself in his blankets. Shoving them aside roughly just to escape the warm clutches of his bed, Chris stood up and noticed everything seemed somewhat higher.  For a moment, he thought he’d landed on his knees and then looked down at his feet. Except they weren’t his feet.

They weren’t the feet of a man who wore size 11 shoes, instead, they were the feet of a...

Chris crossed the floor of his bedroom and nearly tripped because halfway there, his briefs started sliding past his hips.  Making a wild grab for them, he pulled them up to his waist and discovered the treacherous things wouldn’t stay up. Stumbling towards the mirror in almost blind panic, with one hand clutched around the elastic to keep it from slipping, Chris was fully alert now, even though he was convinced he was still dreaming.

Staring into the mirror, he realised he was not.

“HOLY FUCK!”

His outcry was such that he heard footsteps a few seconds later, reminding Chris, he no longer lived alone in his quarters.

“Dad, is everything alright?” He heard Adam ask.

“Adam,” Chris called out and his voice, like everything else, sounded bizarre. He didn’t sound like himself at all but a like a ...no, no, this wasn’t real. Couldn’t be. Needing someone else to tell him he was hallucinating because he could think of no other explanation, Chris called out.  “Come in here, please.”

The doors to the adjoining living room slid open and Adam Larabee stepped in, already dressed for the day. The young man was an early riser, Chris had learned, due to his years in the Resistance.  

Taking a step into his bedroom, Adam froze at the sight of him. “Who’re you?”

“It’s me!” Chris exclaimed, and it sounded high pitched like a... nope still couldn’t say it.

“Kid I don’t know who you are, but I’m pretty sure you’ll be grounded forever if the Captain finds you messing around in his bedroom. How did you even get in here?” He demanded of the young boy standing in his father’s bedroom, no more than ten years of age, with light hair and piercing blue eyes, apparently trying on his father’s briefs, (which was ten kinds of messed up), staring at him with a mixture of panic and expectation.

“I am the Captain!” Chris snapped. “It’s me, Adam! It’s your father!”

“Yeah right,” Adam snorted. “And I’m Admiral of the Known Universe.”

******* 

Thanks to his Vulcan physiology, Vin handled alcohol better than most humans so when he woke up the next morning, he didn’t expect to be suffering a hangover. Alex, on the other hand, was a different matter entirely and Vin made up his mind to rise early so he could go to Sick Bay and get something for her head when she woke up. Nathan usually prescribed some quick fix treatment to save them after a particularly spirited evening of inebriation. Christ knew he had certainly needed something after his bachelor party or else he would have been unable to stand up at his wedding.

Next to him, Vin could feel Alex’s warmth pressed up against his back and once again, was filled with that sense of joy at how wonderful it was to have her as his mate. For some reason, the term wife never felt quite accurate when describing their relationship to each other. They were bonded not only physically and emotionally but spiritually too. He could always feel her and with time, Vin was convinced she would share their connection the same way Mary did during the Protocol Officer’s marriage to Syan of Vulcan.

When he first came on board the Maverick little over a year ago, he had been terrified of being on a ship with almost a thousand people. It was Alex who made those first few days tolerable. With or without the Pon Farr, he loved her since that day and hearing her tell him the same was still the best moment of his life, even if it had been riding the coattails of his worst.  Rolling over, Vin wanted to look at her for a moment before he climbed out of bed.

What he saw lying next to him, made him fall out of bed in a mad scramble.

There was a little girl in the bed.  Not only that but a naked little girl on his bed.

Already envisioning the dishonourable discharge and the death he would earn from just about everybody for this child’s presence, Vin gaped in horror as he tried to remember how she had come to be in his bed of all places? And where was Alex?  How drunk was he last night that he couldn’t remember how this happened?

His abrupt retreat from her woke the girl up and Vin saw her eyes widen in shock, no doubt preparing to utter a scream of fear in finding herself in this unimaginable situation when instead she exclaimed loudly. “Who the hell are you and what are you doing in our quarters?”

Vin blinked. “Your quarters!” He barked back indignantly.

Then he heard his voice except it wasn’t his voice. It sounded high pitched and nothing like the too soft tone that was his normal speech.  Before he could further ponder this weirdness, the girl’s next words immediately discontinued his line of thinking.

“Yes! Our quarters! How did you get in here?” She demanded imperiously, sitting upright and immediately covering herself with a sheet. “Vin! Where are you?”  She looked over her shoulder and called out to someone who was not somewhere else but right in front of her.

What the hell?  “I’m Vin!” He barked back.

Once again, he was confronted by that strange voice.  What the hell was going on? Did this little girl wander into the wrong room? At this point, Vin realised Alex was nowhere in sight and there was something rather familiar about this child. She had sheeny black hair and dusky, golden skin. She was staring at him with brown eyes full of indignation and annoyance.   With a flash of insight, against every logical thought in his ordered Vulcan mind, (well mostly ordered), Vin found himself asking. “Alex?”

Alexandra Styles’s eyes widened as she stared at the naked young boy in front of her.

“That’s Commander Styles to you. What are you doing in here? Did you get lost? Put some clothes on for God’s sake!”  She demanded, her mind too discombobulated by the wholly unacceptable situation she was in, to watch her tone when addressing a child. Yet when she spoke, she realised her voice was equally strange. Not to mention, it was a Vulcan child. She could see the tips of his pointed ears peeking through his unruly dark hair and he was staring at her in astonishment with his cobalt coloured eyes.

Cobalt coloured eyes?

Almost afraid to ask, she recalled his words since waking up and asked almost fearfully. “Vin?”

“Alex,” Vin tried to remain calm because he was two steps away from full-blown horror. “You’re a kid!”

“What do you mean I’m a kid?” Then Alex looked down at herself and lifted the sheet she was covering herself with.  Where were her boobs? She’d waited an entire year for those things to show up! Now they were gone! “I’m a kid!’ She gasped, “And so are you!”

“What do you mean so am I?” Vin lowered his eyes to down at himself before exclaiming. “Aw hell!”

******* 

This was a bad dream. It had to be.

Of course, if it was a bad dream, it was an extremely bizarre one. At present, the normally poised and elegant Protocol Officer the crew was accustomed to seeing, was stomping her way down the hallway of Deck Nine where most of the quarters for the command crew were located. Wearing a robe that was dragging behind her like the train of a wedding dress or ornate ballroom gown, her blond hair, normally held perfectly in place with pins and clips was sashaying around her shoulders, almost waist length.

Of course, while they noticed the strangeness of the scene, they did not at all equate it with Mary Travis, because what they were seeing was a ten-year-old girl, with blue-grey eyes and a frown twisting up her face that looked cute more than stormy.  

After Mary had woken up to this discovery and when she stopped screaming, which had done nothing but terrify her son to no end, she had tried to get in contact with Chris only to find out he wasn’t answering his com badge. When she demanded the computer to give her his location, the computer had helpfully told her it did not recognise her voice patterns and referred the matter to security to update permissions. Using a litany of words, she usually reserved for her mother, Mary left her quarters intending to find Chris.

Continuing down the hallway, with her robe threatening to trip her, Mary lifted it off the ground like some genteel woman of ancient times. She continued to swear a blue streak that made the crew walking past her, question her upbringing. Clearly, the insanity that turned her into a child appeared to only affect her, since everyone around her still maintained their drinking age status.  Sooner or later, she expected some crewmen to stop and ask her if she was okay and needed help finding her mommy.

That person would get punched in the throat.

Suddenly, she stopped short at the sight of a boy emerging into the hallway from what she knew to be Buck Wilmington’s quarters. He was even shorter than she was, with thick, curly dark hair, hazel eyes, and a scowl that mirrored her own perfectly.  The t-shirt he was wearing was so big for him, it swirled around his knees like a dress. He caught sight of her and knotted his brow in confusion, before realising, she might be sharing his predicament.

“Mary?” He asked cautiously, recognising the golden hair.

“Buck?” She returned with similar care.  He was so short! Mary was so accustomed to seeing the man standing taller than any of them, viewing him like this was rather jarring.

“Did you wake up like this too?” He asked, giving her the once-over before repeating the action on himself as if he needed to confirm this nightmare was actually happening and not the product of a mass hallucination or collective insanity.

“Yes!” She exclaimed, realising that whatever happened to them, had started as soon as they went to bed. “I was fine last night but when I woke up I looked like this...!” she sputtered. “Well just look at me!”

“Look at you?” He bit back. “Look at me!”

“Yeah,” she did remark finding it odd to have to look down at him. “You are kind of little.”

“I had a growth spurt when I was twelve okay?” Buck bit back.  “Have you tried contacting the bridge, Sick Bay or the Captain?”

“I tried, but the computer isn’t recognising my voice. It keeps telling me to refer to security to update my voice pattern permissions!” Mary said with exasperation.

“Me too!” He showed her the com badge in his hand.

“Hey, kids are you alright?”  A familiar voice suddenly asked, and Mary was about to deliver that punch in the throat when she realised who asked the question. It was followed by a groan of embarrassment from Buck.

JD Dunne was on his way to the bridge when he saw the two children bickering in the hallway. He knew most of the kids on the Maverick. After a year, you became familiar with all the faces on board and these two were children he had never seen before. Perhaps they had come on the Maverick recently, he told himself. Even so, it didn’t explain their odd state of clothing. Both were wearing adult clothes and appeared to be in something of a state.

Both Mary and Buck straightened up in annoyance, but it was Buck who barked back first, even though he was secretly relieved it was JD who found them in this condition and not anyone else. The whole situation was humiliating enough as it was.

Glaring at JD, Buck snapped at his protégé. “Do we look alright to you Ensign? We’re ten years old!”

“Uh Buck,” Mary tugged at his shirt, trying to remind him JD had a very good reason for asking the question since they looked nothing like themselves.  “He doesn’t recognise us,” she whispered in his ear discreetly.

Buck pulled back and stared at her, before grimacing because she was correct. Why would the kid recognise them?  Calming himself even as JD stared at them with a mixture of amusement and bewilderment, Buck tried to muster all the dignity and authority he possessed to sound remotely like himself.

“JD, I know this looks kind of strange but it’s me, Buck. This here is Mary. We woke up this morning in our quarters, looking like this.”

“Oh, real funny Buck,” JD declared with clear amusement on his face. For a moment, Buck almost thought he’d succeeded in convincing the younger man he and Mary were who they claimed to be, until JD looked into the air as if he were addressing some unseen god and continued speaking over his head. Not hard to do when Buck was now barely four feet tall.

“Buck, I know you’re watching and I’m not falling for your pranks!”

Buck swore in exasperation while Mary slapped her face with her palm.

“JD, this is not a prank!” He burst out angrily, his voice rising an octave. “It’s me! I’m Buck and this is Mary!”

“Buck, if you're listening,” JD continued to speak. “I’m due on duty. I don’t have time for this.” JD was convinced the Commander was somewhere watching this entire scene, getting a good laugh at JD’s expense.

While Buck might not mind him turning up to the bridge late for duty indulging in one of his jokes, JD was fairly certain Chris Larabee would be a different matter entirely.  There were standards the Captain of the Maverick demanded from his officers, no matter what their personal relationship. Besides, JD wasn’t comfortable taking part in pranks involving children.

Buck was starting to get furious. It was bad enough that he was this... this... whatever the hell this was! He was pint-sized, shorter than Mary was and thanks to his clothing, feeling a little chilly, he did not need JD’s disbelief on top of it. Worse yet, the First Officer in him realised JD had every reason to be sceptical. If he were presented with the same situation, Buck knew he would behave no differently.  However, understanding JD’s point of view did not lessen his ire one damn bit.

“JD!” Buck roared. “I am Buck Wilmington! This is Mary Travis! We went to bed last night and woke up like this!”

“Together?” JD asked without thinking.

Mary kicked JD in the shin for the sheer stupidity of the question.

“OW!” JD glared at her. “Wait til I tell your parents!”

“Good luck with that,” Buck snorted, realising there was no help to be found here, even though her assault on JD felt quite satisfying. “We’re wasting time with him,” he looked at her, ignoring JD who was clutching his shin in pain. “Let’s just go find Chris.”

Mention of the Captain made JD straighten up because he couldn’t imagine Chris would be happy for Buck to be involving children in his prank and Buck knew this too. As the two kids turned on their heels and started heading in the direction of the Captain’s quarters, JD started to question the possibility this wasn’t a ruse. In fact, the last time, they thought Buck had pulled a practical joke, it turned out the First Officer had nothing to do with the situation at all, and it had all been the handiwork of a cosmic entity.

“Computer,” JD tapped his combadge, still watching the two children heading down the corridor. “Locate Commander Wilmington and Lt. Travis.”

“Commander Wilmington and Lt. Travis are on Deck 9, Junction 13.  The computer answered helpfully.

The response did nothing to alleviate JD’s confusion because it was exactly where the two children were walking through at the moment. This was insane. How could this possibly be true and yet, he could feel himself tipping towards the edge of belief, because his affection for Buck Wilmington and Mary Travis, demanded he at least give them the benefit of the doubt.

“Hey wait up!” JD hurried after them, hoping he wasn’t making a fool of himself. Still, even as the thought crossed his mind, JD knew if he was wrong, the worst that would happen was he would have egg on his face, and he could live with that. However, if this was really happening, then there was no way he was abandoning his friends no matter how insane the situation, especially when they were so vulnerable and in need of help.

Both Buck and Mary paused long enough to look over their shoulder at him.  “Unless you’re helping, go away!” Buck snapped. “We don’t have time to deal with your scepticism. We have a situation.”

Well if the kid wasn’t Buck Wilmington, he certainly was a good actor, JD thought to himself. “Okay, assuming I believe you two, how could this have happened?”

“We have no idea!” Mary threw her hands up in frustration. “I went to bed normal! This morning I woke up like this!”

Her distress certainly sounded real, JD thought. “Have you tried raising the Captain?”

“We can’t,” Buck grumbled, his anger easing off a little because JD was starting to give them the benefit of the doubt. No, that Buck could blame him for his disbelief. He had trouble believing this himself.  “The computer doesn’t recognise either of our voices which makes sense of course since we both sound like we just came from Oz!”

JD could understand that and decided that was something he could do at least. Tapping his combadge, he spoke into it. “Lt. Dunne to the Captain.”

There was no answer.

When the seconds continued to tick by without a response, all three of them stopped in the middle of the hallway, feeling a sensation of uneasiness crawl up their spine. Chris was never far away from his com badge. Hell, Buck sometimes thought the man took it into the shower with him. Suddenly, a voice responded, but it wasn’t the voice of the Captain.

“Uh hi JD, this is Adam. I’m afraid I’ve got a situation here. The Captain is....” he paused and then added, “throwing a tantrum.”

This was followed by the furious growl of someone in the background. “THAT’S NOT FUNNY!”

JD’s eyes widened. “Oh boy.”

Chapter Four:

Rude Awakenings - Part Two

For the most part, Ezra Standish slept well.

Julia had an early shift the next morning and after seeing the titian-haired beauty to her quarters, he remained for an hour or two where they enjoyed each other’s company before returning to his own bed, before falling into a fitful sleep. When he did awake, it was to the sensation of feline paws against his back. Fortunately, Huxley’s attempt to become comfortable on top of his person did not involve unsheathing her sharp claws while he slept.

Ezra didn’t mind. He was getting somewhat accustomed to the animal and they had reached a kind of detente in their cohabitation. Both had mutually reached an agreement that Huxley should limit her claw sharpening to the scratching post provided and he would stop making threats to jettison her into space.

When his slumber was interrupted, however, it was not by feline machinations but by the insistent chime of his door to his quarters. Diving beneath the pillows did little to drive away and the annoying sound and through the stupor of sleep and the mild hangover, he was suffering, Ezra promised all kinds of death on the person daring to intrude on his peaceful sleep. Eventually, even Huxley found the noise too hard to bear and dug her claws into his back, providing the necessary incentive to Ezra to awaken and chase away their noisy visitors.

For once, Ezra was in complete agreement with her desire.

Aware her master was about to climb out of his bed, Huxley took the pre-emptive step of jumping off Ezra’s back as the Chief of Security got to his feet and wondered what was so damned important, someone couldn’t use a combadge. Still, the absence of a combadge was the only reason Ezra was not immediately alarmed by the insistent chime at his door. If there was truly a crisis, no security officer under his command or any member of the bridge crew would waste time with a face to face call to arms, when the combadge would have alerted him instantly.

Even though his head still throbbed from the effects of last night’s libations, Ezra promised himself he was leaving Hadir Prime with a crate of Blue Vale. It was a singularly smooth concoction and one of the best ciders he ever tasted in his life, even if the pounding inside his head felt like a Wagnerian opera. Reminding himself to make a trip to see Nathan to relieve his discomfort with one of the doctor’s magical remedies, Ezra grabbed his robe and slipped it over his shoulders.

For a moment, he couldn’t find the sleeves and spent a few seconds wrestling with the silk robe before he finally draped it over his shoulders and tied the cord around his waist. It did not occur to him at that point, how low the material was hanging off the ground as he approached the door.

“Come in!” He barked with uncharacteristic annoyance.

“Voice pattern recognition unknown.” The computer returned automatically.

“” What?” Ezra looked up sharply, his keen investigator’s senses surfacing like a predator lurking from beneath the depths.

“Voice pattern recognition unknown.” The disembodied voice repeated itself and if Ezra did not know better, he would have sworn the computer sounded unhappy at having to repeat itself.

The chime continued its insistent beeping, interrupting Ezra’s train of thought. Perhaps the security updates he made prior to their departure from Deep Space Five had been the cause of this sudden glitch. Frowning, because he would have to reset the permissions if this was the case, Ezra decided he would deal with it after he attended to his insistent caller. Closing the distance to the door panel, he pressed a finger against the display and allowed entry to his guest, the old-fashioned way.

“What in the name of Perdition’s Fire is the reason for this interruption?”

The first thing he noticed was how odd his voice sounded. This was followed by the discovery his visitor was a young boy with flawless chocolate skin, sporting a head of impressive dark hair, staring at him with a storm cloud on his face.

As Chief of Security, Ezra made it his business to know everyone on board, their families, and even their pets, which included one Kendarian pot belly pig named Porky, though the officer who chose that name deserved keelhauling just for their lack of originality. The boy standing in front of him, who appeared no more than ten years old was wearing a Hawaiian shirt too large for him, and a pair of boardshorts that looked like trousers on his short frame.

“Oh, God! It’s you too!” The boy threw up his hands in exasperation.

It was at this point, Ezra realised he was not making his observations from his height of five foot eight, but rather at eye level. Looking down, he did not see the feet of a full-grown man but rather that of someone a good deal younger. On reflex, he looked down at his hands and was met with the same results. Understanding exploded behind his eyes like artillery shells as these clues quickly formed a picture in his head that had him retreating into the room, not bothering to invite his guest entry.

As always, Huxley took advantage of the situation and slipped past the open door, causing Ezra’s visitor to jump out of the way before the Persian disappeared down the hallway to do some exploring.

“Oh, my Lord,” Ezra gaped at himself in the mirror, trying not to unleash a barrage of profanities that would have resulted in Maude washing his mouth out with soap if she were present. Every logical impulse in his head told him this was madness, that he was not seeing his ten-year-old self in the mirror. Unfortunately, one pinch of the chubby cheeks that had been an invitation to blue-haired old ladies in casinos everywhere, proved he was not seeing things.

“I don’t think he had anything to do with this!”

Ezra turned to his visitor and after a few seconds of observation, guessed to whom he was conversing. “Am I wrong to assume, you are Doctor Jackson?”

“Yes,” Nathan snapped. “Just call me Doogie Jackson, MD.”

“Who?” Ezra asked and then decided he didn’t want to know. “How... how in the name of God is this possible?”

“Do I look like I know?” Nathan demanded. “I woke up like this ten minutes ago! Thank God, Rain is still on duty because if she had seen me like this in bed with her, I don’t know who would have been more traumatised. You were nearest to my quarters and I was hoping you could tell me we were being attacked by someone who is capable of doing this! I can’t even get my combadge to work!”

“Speech pattern recognition,” Ezra groaned, realising why the computer had behaved as it did earlier on. “It prevents unauthorised persons from attempting to access the ship’s functions or use the combadges without proper permission.”

“Who cares?” The healer exploded. “You need to fix this!”

“Fix this?” Ezra stared at him, wondering why on Earth the healer would think him capable of dealing with this situation when he was similarly disadvantaged. “Of course, permit me a moment to retrieve my magic wand and end this nightmare before I go do battle with Lord Voldemort!”

Nathan exhaled loudly, conceding Ezra was probably in the same panicked state as he was but being the chief of security and consummate gambler that he was, possessed a better ability to hide his panic at their current situation. “Sorry, sorry, I was hoping it wasn’t just me. Everyone else seems normal.”

“That is a matter of opinion,” Ezra snorted, too cynical with that word after growing up with Maude and being in security to ever believe anyone was truly normal. Turning around, he stared at his reflection further, trying to wrap his mind at the sight of the face staring back at him. Even though he looked like a ten-year-old, for the moment, his mind retained its true age and Ezra supposed it was a blessing, because he was going to need his faculties to extricate himself and Nathan from this situation. “Could we be hallucinating?” He ventured a guess.

“We could be,” Nathan refused to rule out the possibility, “I don’t know. I was so shocked when I woke up and saw myself like this, I tried to contact the Captain, but I can’t seem to raise either Chris or Buck. I suppose I should have headed to Sick Bay but finding myself looking like a pre-teen with a big ass Angela Davis afro can make a man a little crazy.”

“A what?” Ezra stared at him blankly and then shook his head deciding he did not want to know this either. He was trying to remain calm but every time he heard his voice or saw his face in the mirror, his well-crafted facade was developing another crack. “Is there any way this could have been carried out by some medical trickery?”

“Oh yeah,” Nathan gave him a look. “Didn’t you know? We doctor invented the fountain of youth and decided not to tell anyone about it!”

Ezra glared at him. “I withdraw the question.”

“Good,” The healer said making a face at him. “But I think going to Sick Bay might be a good idea. Maybe if I can run a tricorder scan, I might be able to figure out what has happened to us.”

“A tricorder scan,” Ezra replied, just as sarcastically, “what makes you certain you will be able to operate such a device if you cannot even induce a combadge to function?”

Nathan stuck out his tongue at him.

“Oh, very mature!”

******* 

Elsewhere Lieutenant Rain had come off duty after having a rather long shift. Aside from manning the transporter room for a few hours, returning to the ship the senior officers save Josiah, who apparently must be having a real good time on the surface, Rain had run a maintenance diagnostic on the transporter pad in Cargo Bay 3. A glitch had been noticed and Rain did not wish to leave it unattended for too long. The task of replacing the damaged coil took longer than expected, so she missed a meal. With her symbiote threatening to leave her body and go get a snack without her if she didn’t get some food soon, Rain chose to stop at Four Corners.

Very soon, Inez presented her with a meal and Rain was about to dig into the stack of pancakes with maple syrup, when her combadge started trilling softly in expectation of her touch to activate it. Cursing the Gods of Calorie Intake (a deity of the Fudcomas), she tapped the badge and spoke tautly.

“Off duty Lieutenant Rain here. I repeat that’s OFF DUTY AND HUNGRY Lieutenant Rain, to whoever is taking their ability to shower without interruption lightly.”

“Uh Lieutenant,” the voice on the other end of the channel sounded very hesitant now that threat was made but eventually summed up the nerve to speak. “Ensign Frank here.”

Ensign Lars Frank was one of the newer members of her Transport team, having come on board after the Maverick completed its refit at Deep Space Nine. He was a rookie kid, fresh from the Academy with only one posting prior to landing starship duty and she could appreciate why he might be a little anxious. The Maverick was a plum assignment and most cadets dreamed of serving under a Captain like Chris Larabee so he was prone to second-guessing himself.

“What is it, Lars?” Rain inquired, keeping watch over the tendrils of heat rising from her pancakes to ensure not too much heat was lost before the things needed reheating. Settling for cold pancakes ought to be punishable by death in her opinion.

“I’ve just received a request for transport from the Hadir Transport Centre,” Frank explained. “Apparently, Counsellor Sanchez has asked to be beamed back on board.”

“That is odd,” Rain wondered why the Counsellor was going through the Hadir when his combadge would have gotten him to the Maverick far more efficiently. “Is his combadge working?”

“It is,” Frank answered, “but he’s not answering. That’s not all Sir,” the younger man replied. “I was set to transport him on board, except there’s something wrong with his pattern. It doesn’t match the one going down.”

“Excuse me?” Rain thought she heard wrong. “How could that be?”

“I don’t know Chief, but I ran a DNA scan on the person at the Transport Centre and it is Counsellor Sanchez, but somehow his body mass reading is wrong. It’s registering a loss of fifty per cent.”

“WHAT?” Rain exclaimed while all her hosts were uttering a collective ‘what the hell’ in different voices in her head. “Have you contacted the bridge?” She asked as this was fast becoming a situation that required the input of a command officer.

“I did but no one is responding,” Frank said hesitantly.

That was impossible, Chris Larabee did not ignore calls to his combadge. In fact, none of the senior staff did. “No one? The Captain? Commander Wilmington? Commander Styles?” She stopped before she rattled off the entire list of names belonging to the senior staff.

“Nobody,” Frank repeated himself.

“What about Ensign Dunne?” Rain asked. While technically JD was an ensign, he was also a bridge officer and that put him in the chain of command, albeit temporarily.

“I haven’t tried him yet,” Frank confessed, admitting he didn’t think to contact Ensign Dunne.

“It’s all right,” Rain said kindly. “I’ll do it. Standby for the moment.”

No sooner than she ended her conversation with Frank, Rain tapped her combadge to get in touch with JD whom she hoped was more accessible than the senior officers did. She knew they were all probably still recovering from the celebration the night before, but even suffering the worst hangover in kingdom come, would keep them from being at their stations when their shifts began.

“Ensign Dunne, this is Lt. Rain, please come in.”

The response took a few seconds to come. When it did, Rain flinched at the sound of voices, young voices, several of her hosts who were once parents quickly identified, chattering excitedly, overlapping each other into a loud din. They sounded like the blather one heard from a playground and Rain had to wonder what the hell was JD doing hanging around the school at this time of the day. Was there even school this early?

“This is Ensign Dunne, I’m a little busy right now, but what can I do for you Chief?”

“I’ve got someone trying to beam on board the Maverick, with a DNA match for Josiah but a completely mismatched transporter pattern.”

“Aw hell!” JD cursed before shouting on top of his lungs. “EVERYONE SETTLE DOWN!”

Thankfully, Rain was the only person at the counter so no one other than she heard the Ensign losing his marbles. Her eyes widened, wondering what on earth was going on before he responded a moment later, a good deal calmer. “Rain, that’s most likely Josiah. I know this sounds weird but just transport him to the Maverick and escort him to Sick Bay, I need some help...”

“...babysitting?”

She did not have to see JD’s face to know he was probably giving her the finger.

******* 

Josiah had really thought the Dance of Inferno was some quaint Hadiran dance routine.

Unfortunately, by the time he learned otherwise, Josiah had imbibed enough Blue Vale to lose any ability to make sound decisions and simply allowed the night to drag him along on his journey to debauchery. What followed was a night of such decadence Buck Wilmington would have been proud to stand with him to get his distemper shots.

Aside from being utterly mortified to have engaged in such cavorting, particularly when he was exploring a tentative romance with schoolteacher Audrey King on board the Maverick, he remembered nothing beyond the party. Nevertheless, when daylight arrived, Josiah found himself on around, king-sized bed, surrounded by women, in various states of undress, with his space ranger costumed strewn about the place while he was clad in nothing, living out some sybarite fantasy.

Except he was suddenly ten years old.

It was difficult to say who was more horrified by this fact, him, or the ladies he apparently spent the evening with. Nevertheless, after the screaming, cries of indignation and outright horror had been exhausted, Josiah was able to extricate himself from the situation, despite the refusal of his combadge to cooperate and contact the Maverick. Miraculously, they transported him back to the ship despite his strange appearance.

When Josiah finally returned to the Maverick, he was still trying to get a grip of his situation.

The first thing he saw when the shimmer of the transporter beam faded was Rain’s eyes widening in shock at his ten-year-old self. Josiah couldn’t blame her, he had been no less stunned himself. He didn’t recall his hair being quite so unruly or feeling quite so puny. Then again, compared to what he had been, it was understandable.

Rain, who often wore an expression as inscrutable as Vin Tanner’s, had simply stared at him and Josiah supposed he ought to be gratified that for once, her 300-year-old self, had been taken by surprise. He guessed with all the things she saw in her life, this one had to be one for the books.

“Oh my God,” Rain said approaching him smiling widely, her fingers brandished in front of her like a lobster about to enter the arena for a battle to the death. “You are so cute!”

“Touch my cheeks and I’ll submit the request for your lobotomy,” Josiah warned as he stepped off the transporter pad, in no mood for levity. He was a grandfather for God sakes! He had no wish to be ten years old again, no matter how inviting the possibility. As it was, he had been forced to wear his space ranger costume back to the ship and it was barely hanging onto his small frame while his feet were bare, because there was no way he would fit the boots.

“Okay, okay,” Rain smiled. “Although you are kind of young to be doing the walk of shame.”

Josiah glared at her. “Very funny, I have no idea what I did last night to be ashamed.”

“Well, apparently it involved five women...”

“I remember that part!” Josiah snapped. “Well actually I don’t remember that part but I mean this!”

“Yeah,” Rain looked him over, still somewhat astonished by what she was seeing. There was no trace of the Counsellor she had come to know over the past year. He was a little under five feet tall, with slight shoulders and hair that seemed to defy gravity and stick up on top. “Come on, let’s get you to Sick Bay.”

“What’s that going to do?” Josiah grumbled. “I need a change of clothing, I can’t wear this down there!”

“Look,” Rain turned to him, understanding his apprehension. Dispelling the humour of the situation, she spoke in a tone devoid of any levity. “It isn’t just you this has happened to, almost all the senior staff have been affected. “

“All?” Josiah’s eyes widened, “you mean Chris, Buck and ....”

“All of them,” Rain nodded grimly. “I haven’t seen Nathan yet but according to Li Pong, he’s being especially obnoxious so I need to get there before she gives him a time out.”

Josiah rolled his eyes and muttered, “Lovely.”

Since coming on board the Maverick, JD Dunne had seen a lot of weird things.

There were situations that were downright terrifying and others bordering on bizarre. For every moment of wonder, there were incidents leaving him in head-scratching puzzlement, while others provoked a range of emotions from anger to disgust. Of course, they were also moments of great delight where one could do nothing but simply ride out the insanity.

For instance, JD recalled the time the Akari came on board the Maverick after the Captain established first contact. The Akari, whom according to their customs, could not travel without their pets, came on board the ship with a menagerie of colourful animals, one of which was a six-foot-tall creature resembling a highland gorilla of Earth. The species called the kanzi, selected mates by scent, which unfortunately in this instance bore a remarkable similarity to the perfume Chris Larabee had bought Mary Travis for her birthday.  

What followed next resulted in the Captain creating an entry in his log he called that ‘King Kong Incident’.

There was also the time Alex chose to sample some local cuisine on Antares III, whose adverse reaction to human physiology turned the Science Officer’s skin bright green for an entire week, and until it cleared was forced to endure repeated requests (especially from Buck Wilmington), to perform Orion slave girl dances. Meanwhile, Chris had threatened Vin with blinkers if he didn’t stop gawking at Alex when he was at the Conn after he almost crashed into an asteroid.  

Even more ridiculous, was Ezra’s penchant for flowery speech being mistaken for a marriage proposal by the warlike Camasi, a reptilian race, closely related to the Gorn. It required his entire security team to keep the wife of the Chieftain from disembowelling him, after Ezra inadvertently made the proposal to her husband, during a diplomatic dinner.  To say nothing of the occasion, when Chris Larabee was forced to address their Council, wearing nothing more than a loin cloth made with feathers.

According to Casey, Mary had pictures.

None of that, however, was equal to the weirdness he was confronted with right this minute in Sick Bay.  

Scattered across the numerous examination beds in the consultation room of Sick Bay, was most of the Maverick’s senior staff. If they came in pre-teen models, that is.   If not for their identities confirmed by Doctor Zheng Li Pong, the Assistant Chief Medical Officer of the Maverick, JD would have been certain this was some kind of prank, conjured up in the devious mind of Buck Wilmington.

Except, he had laid eyes on none of the children in front of him before.  While he might be willing to admit, there had been some new arrivals to the crew since their departure from Deep Space Five, it would explain his inability to recognise one or two of them, not all. Furthermore, Doctor Zheng had conducted her medical scan and confirmed, the children were a perfect DNA match to their supposed adult versions.

“How did this happen?” JD asked when Doctor Zheng finally gave her report.  

The tall, porcelain beauty revealed her bewilderment as she answered. “I have no idea. Physiologically, they’re all ten years old. I can’t even begin to understand the science that might explain this. There’s no trace of radiation or any kind of mutation. I am at a loss to explain how it could have come about.”  

“I don’t care how it goddamn happened!” Chris Larabee’s patience snapped hearing her conclusion, yelling loudly on top of his voice, which in his current state was quite a shrill noise that made everyone flinch. “Fix this!”

“Dad, take it easy!” Adam spoke up automatically, trying to maintain a straight face when he was fighting like hell to keep from smirking.  As bizarre as this entire situation was, Adam had to admit, he never thought life on the Maverick could be so interesting. “I’m sure Doctor Zheng is doing her best.”

“Don’t tell me to take it easy, I’m a frigging ten-year-old!”

“Come on Pard, calm down,” Vin said as he was seated between Chris and Alex on the examination table while wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, while Alex was dressed in a bodysuit. Fortunately, having a wife with a Class 1 Advanced Programmer Rating, meant she could easily get around the computer’s security protocols to replicate them some appropriate clothing.  

“We’re all in the same boat. I mean it took years for me to grow into my ears. If I have to grow my hair twice as long to hide these,” he gestured to his ears, that did look more prominent than normal, “I’ll look like a girl.”

“Lieutenant Tanner, your lustrous locks already accomplish that now,” Ezra said sourly, arms folded, looking as if he were about to throw a tantrum.  Possessing the same programmer’s rating as Alex, Ezra had replicated appropriate clothing for himself and Nathan, so they did not look like scamps from Oliver Twist.

“Ezra it will be alright,” JD tried to assure the Security Chief, unaccustomed to the normally in control southerner appearing so disgruntled and devoid of calm. “We’ll figure it out.”

“You have an idea how to figure this out? Look at us!” Chris bit back petulantly. “We’re children!”

“Well you are certainly behaving like one at present,” Ezra muttered under his breath.

“Are you trying to go on report Commander!” Chris snapped, aiming the Larabee glare at the security chief, which had lost its ability to intimidate anyone.

“I apologise, Captain,” Ezra replied, “but my humour is in as good a state as your patience at present.”

Chris exhaled loudly, aware he was descending into mild panic and started rubbing the bridge of his nose. Nathan Jackson opened his mouth to offer yet another helpful suggestion to Doctor Zheng about what she could do to determine the cause of their predicament. Not that she hadn’t already subjected them to a battery of tests.

“Oh, for the love of God Nathan, she’s run every test there is! This isn’t something that just happens medically, something weird is going on here!”  Alex snapped, hating the situation she was in but capable of being a little more logical about this. Her mind had been fixed on the problem since she managed to stop screaming at the naked Vulcan boy, she realised was actually her husband.

“Well then you explain it Science Officer,” Nathan stared back at her sarcastically. “You are supposed to be the smartest person on the ship.”

“You are?” Vin stared, sitting next to her, examining his hands at how small they were. Turning over his palms, even the scars he acquired during his time in the savage wilderness had reappeared after fading away with time.

“I try not to let it get to my head,” she dismissed the thought because she certainly didn’t feel smart right now.

Suddenly the Sick Bay doors opened and stepping through was a little girl clad in a sarong, tied at a knot in front of her chest. With red hair bouncing off her shoulders in tight ringlets, she looked like Shirley Temple, the child star from five hundred years ago.

“Hey, I need some help in here!” Julia Pemberton called out, staring at the children in the consultation room with some distress before she rubbed her eyes as if trying to banish the image from her mind. “Someone has slipped me a hallucinogenic because it’s making me think I’m seeing ten-year old’s everywhere, myself included. I swear, if this is Alex’s idea of a joke, I’m telling everyone she secretly loves bodice rippers!”

“HEY!” Alex barked from where she was seated, mortified as her cheeks turned red. “Shut up Julia!”

“Really?” Mary stared at her with a brow raised. Alex didn’t look the type to enjoy erotic, historical novels.

“Romance novels and a ballerina?” Buck grinned, unable to hide the smirk on his face. He was going to get a lot of mileage out of this for the next ten years. “I always knew you wanted to wear a corset.”

“Oh, shut up Tiny,” Alex snapped and turned back to Julia as Buck began spouting some nonsense about growth spurts and being a late bloomer with an air of defensiveness. “Julia You’re not hallucinating! We’re all like this!”

Julia’s eyes widened and then surveyed the faces in Sick Bay, the awful realisation settling in on her this was not the product of some narcotic resulting in making her see things. “Ezra, is that you?” She asked, her stomach sinking, recognising his sea green eyes.

“I’m afraid so Julia,” Ezra grumbled, although he was rather fascinated by Julia’s bouncy curls. “I had no idea you bore such a striking resemblance to Orphan Annie.”

“That’s insane! And I don’t look like Orphan Annie!” She exclaimed dismayed, looking at herself again and realising what she was seeing was not some trick. It was the reality she refused to accept when she first saw herself in the mirror this morning after waking up. “This can’t be real!”

“No kidding,” Adam who was standing next to JD, couldn’t help remarking as Li Pong walked over to the Chief Engineer and began scanning the redhead.  “I’m too young to raise a child. It's going to put a real crimp on my dating possibilities.”

Chris shot his son a glare, “that’s real funny.”

“No, it’s not funny!” Mary cried indignantly, tossing her blond hair behind her dramatically. “I scared the hell out of Billy this morning!” She was still trying to get the expression of confusion and disgust out of her mind after her encounter with her young son.

Despite himself, Chris could not help but smile seeing her gorgeous blond hair swinging about her like a cascade of gold. He admired those glorious tresses when she first came on board but seeing the wild, untamed version was an especial delight. If it wasn’t completely inappropriate (not to mention somewhat creepy) he would run his fingers through it.

“Because you looked like a kid?” Buck asked with surprise, not thinking it would have been that traumatic. At worst, Billy would assume a strange little girl had simply wandered into the quarters he shared with his mother.

“No,” Mary frowned a little embarrassed. “It was because I kissed him good morning before I realised I turned into... this! No eight-year-old boy likes getting kissed by a strange girl!”

“Yeah, that kind of thing only works out when you’re older and if she has a sister,” Buck admitted wearing a shit-eating grin that spoke of sin and made the men or rather the boys in the vicinity groan with collective exasperation.

“Stop that!” Alex tossed the small examination pillow at Buck, her face wrinkling in revulsion. “It is creepy hearing you talk like that when you’re in that little body. It just sounds wrong!”

“Stop calling me little!” Buck bit back, hating the fact at this moment, he could get beaten up by Julia Pemberton. “I told you, I had a growth spurt at twelve!”

“That’s one hell of a growth spurt,” Chris couldn’t help but tease his old friend, especially when the man wore that smouldering scowl on his face.  “Seriously Buck, how the hell did you get so tall when you started out so short?”

“Captain or not I’ll kick your ass,” Buck snorted, forgetting his rank or the fact he was the First Officer.

“Good luck with that Bucklin,” Vin couldn’t help but laugh.

“I still can’t believe how cute you are,” Mary stated, still marvelling at how small he was. Next, to the rest of them, Buck looked more like an eight or seven-year-old. “I just want to pinch your cheeks!”

“Captain’s girlfriend or not, I’ll brig you Mary,” Buck warned, hating the fact he was the smallest. It had been the cause of a good deal of bullying when he was younger until puberty facilitated the vengeance he craved by allowing him to dip all his tormentors’ heads in the lavatory.

“Don’t call me the Captain’s girlfriend!” Mary hissed, hating how childish that sounded.

“Just calm down Rapunzel” Buck grinned, getting her back. “I didn’t mean to rile you up.”

“What do you mean don’t call you the Captain’s girlfriend?” Chris stared across the space between them, his icy gaze eying her critically. “Technically, that is what we are.”

Mary’s jaw dropped open as she declared indignantly, “Chris Larabee, we have been turned into children! This is hardly the occasion to discuss whether or not we’re going steady.”

“Well are we, or aren’t we?” Chris felt the need to insist. “I mean sure we’re not having sex or anything...”

“Okay, that’s it,” Adam threw his hands up in the air and exclaimed aghast at JD. “I’m traumatised.”

“Oh at least he wants to talk about your relationship,” Julia spoke up. “My parents will be at Deep Space Five in a few weeks and they want to meet Ezra.”

“What?” Ezra shot her a look, his youthful face hiding nothing, and all Julia saw was panic.  “At what point were you going to tell me this delightful snippet of information?”

“When you couldn’t escape into an alternate dimension!”

As the room descended into further levels of chaos and farce, JD tugged at Adam and gestured for the younger man to follow him to a discreet corner of Sick Bay. It spoke volumes that none of the afflicted senior staff, noticed their discreet withdrawal. As it was, JD was trying to tune out the heated discussions about commitment, relationship status and how anyone could hate the Magnificent Seven holo-program but still read Gone with the Wind. Meanwhile, Nathan’s voice could be heard offering Li Pong more helpful pointers about what to do next and JD swore he heard the woman curse in Chinese.

Adam who found himself naturally warming to JD and taking his lead because of his friendship with JD Dunne’s other universe counterpart could tell the ensign had something serious to impart and adjusted his manner accordingly.  Even though Adam was considered just a teenager in this universe, in the one of his birth, he had been a seasoned soldier.

“What’s up?” He asked, keeping his voice low, so they would remain mostly unheard by the children.

“Is it me or are they sounding unhinged?” JD asked seriously, having not spoken during the last few minutes because a very unpleasant possibility had started to rear its head in his mind and JD had observed them to prove his theory.  While he often felt eclipsed by his more accomplished comrades, JD graduated Starfleet Academy with honours and was the only other person, besides James T Kirk, to beat the Kobayashi Maru.

Adam’s expression darkened, and he glanced briefly at his ten-year-old father, (he couldn’t believe how weird that was), and studied Chris Larabee for the moment.

This was the Captain who led his ship through more dire situations than any commander could find himself, now arguing with Mary Travis, who for once didn’t make his heartache from sadness, about their relationship. As ludicrous as this situation appeared, JD’s question reminded Adam, there was a darker reality lurking beneath the humour of this incident.  Almost the entire senior staff of the Maverick was now incapacitated. Under any circumstances, this would be considered an attack.

“Considering what they’ve woken up to, I can see why they’d be a little testy but they’re running on pure instinct. They’re not using their heads at all. They’re just reacting like...”

“Children?” JD finished the sentence and Adam’s eyes widened in realisation at what the ensign was getting at.

“Oh crap...” he whispered. “You think their bodies turning into children is only the first step? Their minds are going to follow?

Before JD could reply, his combadge beeped loudly, making him tap it on reflex. No sooner than his fingers contacted the gold device, he heard Rain’s voice on the other end of the channel.

“This is Ensign Dunne, I’m a little busy right now but what can I do for you Chief?”

Rain did not waste time getting to the point. “I’ve got someone trying to beam on board the Maverick, with a DNA match for Josiah but a completely mismatched transporter pattern.”

“Josiah too!” Buck groaned, rolling his eyes in dismay as the situation went from bad to worse with every passing second. Who was next?

“It’s everyone at the party, Chris!” Vin exclaimed, eyes narrowing and resembling a surlier version of Puck as he stared at Chris in accusation. “I’ll bet those crazy Hadir did this to us!”

“How?” Mary demanded sceptically.  “And for that matter why?”

“I don’t know why Mary, but it’s happened!” Vin burst out, his cheeks tinged with green, a sure indication to anyone who noticed, his hot-blooded Vulcan temperament was making a rather unwelcome appearance.

“Vin calm down!” Chris barked perfectly aware of how volatile that could be.

“I don’t want to calm down!” Vin retaliated. “I’m Vulcan, being ten years old mean things are going to start happening if I stay like this!”

“Oh no,” Alex’s eyes widened as she exchanged a glance with Chris, knowing perfectly well what that could mean.  “It’s okay, we’ll figure it out...”

“Figure it out?” Vin balked.

“EVERYONE SETTLE DOWN!”

JD’s voice sliced through all the bickering and panic. It was not often the young man exerted himself this way and the first time he’d ever done it to the senior staff.  It made everyone except Li Pong, whose own nerves had frayed beyond no return, fall silent.

“... and furthermore, Doctor Jackson, we have no idea what effect this change has had on your mental faculties, so I ask you please to sit down and let me handle it....” her voice drifted off when she realised JD was waiting for her to be quiet. She reacted by pointing Nathan to the examination bed with an expression indicating she expected him to stay there.

“Rain,” JD exhaled, trying to explain to the Transporter Chief what was going on... “That’s most likely Josiah. I know this sounds weird but just transport him to the Maverick and escort him to Sick Bay, I need some help...”

“...babysitting?”

JD glared and terminated the signal.

******* 

Now that everyone was quiet, and he could think, JD turned his attention back to his friends and comrades, trying to remind them, they were all in the same boat.

“Alright,” he said, refusing to let things descend further into chaos.  “Look I know you’re all kind of freaked out right now, but you need to take a breath. We got to figure out how this happened to you and shouting at each other, isn’t going to help.”

“Agreed,” Chris gave JD an appreciative look, glad the young man was keeping his head during this mess. At least someone was, he thought feeling embarrassed by his own behaviour.  JD had just reminded Chris he might be wearing the body of a child, but he was still the Captain of the Maverick. “Let’s think this through, all of us.”

Nathan who returned to his seat on the examination bed after being banished to the ranks of the afflicted spoke first. “There’s just no way this could have happened, medically I mean. We’re ten years old. The kind of regression we’re experiencing is impossible, even with our current level of technology. There is no fountain of youth treatment capable of doing this.

“I’m afraid I must agree with Doctor Jackson,” Li Pong gave the CMO a sigh of apology at the loss of her temper which Nathan returned with a nod of his own, accepting they were all getting a little crazy.

“People just don’t go to bed and turn into children overnight. Something happened to you last night. Something that may not be biologically induced at all.” JD suggested.

Buck felt a swell of pride at how well JD had taken charge of them. He was so glad he took the time to offer the young man guidance and support over the last year because JD was rising magnificently to the occasion.

“Forgive me for saying this Captain,” JD spoke up reluctantly. “We don’t know if it’s just your bodies changing.”

“Oh God,” Mary exclaimed guessing what he was implying. “You mean our minds may devolve as well?”

She didn’t know what was worse. To be ten years old again or having to live with her mother if it happened.

“He’s right dad,” Adam pointed out, leaning against the wall, his arms folded as he offered his opinion, even if he wasn’t a member of the command staff. However, Chris Larabee was his father and he wasn’t going anywhere.   “From where I’m sitting, it may have already started.”

Chris’s stomach clenched, hating the idea that all his experiences and knowledge may vanish overnight, like the last thirty years of his physical development. Once again, he reminded himself he was the Captain of the Maverick and he had a thousand lives relying on his judgement.  Before this condition worsened, he needed to act now to protect them.

“Then we don’t have a lot of time. JD take us to yellow alert.”

“A wise course Captain,” Ezra agreed. “I am concerned by the timing of this. If the raiders plaguing the Hadir chose this moment to attack, we would be at a decided disadvantage since the entire senior staff has been neutralised.”

“Which may be their plan, to begin with,” Chris returned and faced JD. “Until we resolve our predicament,” he looked at himself and his pint-sized comrades in distaste.  “We cannot leave the bridge in its current condition. JD, you have command.”

JD stared at him. “I do?”

“Damn straight you do,” Buck confirmed, already confident in JD’s ability after the last ten minutes.  “You can do it.”

“Thank you, Buck,” JD smiled in appreciation for the vote of confidence.

“Chris,” Nathan spoke up. “If Josiah has also been turned into a kid, then it's only those of us who were at the party last night, who were affected.”

“But I was there,” JD reminded them.

“You were,” Buck agreed. “But you left early and so did Rain.”

“So, whatever happened to us,” Alex sighed, “It happened after that.”

Vin cursed. “I knew we shouldn’t have gone to that party... “

There were many milestones JD looked forward to after graduating from Starfleet.

Getting his first commission, going on his first away mission, taking part in his first battle, meeting his first Orion slave girl, (Buck told him that one was a must), and of course, getting his first promotion. What he did not include in that list was being put in charge of the bridge because his Captain and the rest of the senior staff had been turned into children.

Seated in the command chair, JD felt like a little kid himself, the one that had climbed into a grown up's seat and would get their ass kicked when discovered. He swept his gaze across the bridge and found the faces present alien, even though he knew all of them by sight. Charlotte Richmond was at present manning the science station (at Alex’s recommendation), while Lt. Drew Katovit was at tactical. Seated in Vin Tanner’s customary position was Ensign Tsang Wo Chin, the helm officer who often took the helm after Vin’s shift was done. The seats occupied by Buck and Mary remained empty and JD never realised how strange the bridge felt without them.

“Charlotte,” JD glanced over his shoulder, “please hail the Hadir.”

“Aye Sir,” she said affording him the respect he earned by taking that chair and gave him a little smile of encouragement.

Charlotte was aware just how frightened he was to be taking centre seat. As it was, she was frankly stunned when she realised Alex Styles had recommended her for this position. To say their relationship had been acrimonious was putting it mildly and Charlotte knew it was mostly her fault. She had been cruel to Vin Tanner, not realising just how emotionally fragile he was when he first came on board, until much later. She assumed he’d been accustomed to the teasing between men and women and had no idea, everything she said to him, was humiliating.

Her relationship with men had always been playful, laced with gentle ribbing. When she had taken her shots at him, she was unaware just how dysfunctional his upbringing had been, how badly disconnected he was to people. Of course, the situation was further compounded when they ran into each other at the cusp of his sexual awakening. Once again, Charlotte who knew Vin’s Vulcan physiology had yet to mature, should have stepped away when he made his advances to her, instead of indulging him. The entire incident had been embarrassing with neither being able to make eye contact, even after his marriage to Alex.

Charlotte was convinced Alex was refusing her request for transfer because she intended to make Charlotte suffer for that sin, except it was Alex who wanted her to step in as acting science officer. At first, she believed it was JD’s request. During the Dominion attack, the two of them had fought side by side, defending Sick Bay against the Jem Hadar. They had become friends and she liked the young man who was going to be one hell of a Captain someday.

“I’m patching Tribune Setlan on screen,” she announced.

“Thank you,” JD said taking a deep breath, summoning up an air of authority as the image of the Tribune appeared on screen.

As always, the man’s appearance raised brows. Setlan appeared to be lying on some sort of divan, wearing a satin embroidered robe and a Victorian styled smoking-cap on his head. He was holding what resembled an ice pack against his temple, looking as if he was suffering an extremely bad hangover. JD’s eyes widened, wondering if this was an act because no head of state could appear so buffoonish on purpose.

“Chris, I hope your head feels a good deal better than...Oh!” He sat up straighter, realising it wasn’t Chris Larabee he was addressing. “Ensign Dunne, wasn’t it?”

“Uh yes Sir,” JD shook his head, noticing from the corner of his eyes, his temporary bridge crew trying to process the scene themselves. “I’m sorry to be bothering you Tribune but we have a situation, which I am hoping you can shed some light on?”

“Where is Chris?” The Tribune demanded. “I realise I may be a little out of sorts but surely any conversation of importance ought to be carried out by the Captain, not an underling. No offence of course young man, I am sure you are very capable but I have socks older than you.”

JD tried not to make a face, remembering the comportment required by the chair he now occupied and replied calmly. “The Captain and the rest of the Senior Staff are presently suffering an unexpected condition, we were hoping you might be able to help us with.”

“Condition?” Setlan snorted. “Is that what you Starfleet people call hangovers? My prescription, whatever drugs your medical officer can provide to silence the pounding feet of ten thousand Katarian tap dancers in your heads. We have a local remedy involving Jala juice and the milk of a Torisan rat goat.”

JD quickly interrupted, never wanting to know what a rat goat was...ever.

“The problem is a little bit more serious than that,” JD addressed the Tribune, clearing his throat and trying to sound as serious as possible as he summed up the courage to speak. What he was about to tell Setlan was next to preposterous and there was every possibility the man might just laugh in his face after hearing it. “It appears the entire senior staff who attended the party last night, have regressed into…” JD paused a moment, still unable to believe he was reporting this intelligence with a straight face, “…children.”

Instead of laughing in his face, Setlan’s eyes widened and his expression turned utterly serious. The man sat up abruptly, reminding JD of a walrus rolling over to the sunny side of his rock, his cap tipping comically to the side of his face as he lowered the ice pack and stared at the Ensign.

“Did you say, children?” He gulped visibly and suddenly JD realised, this might not have been as big a surprise to the man as he thought.

“Children,” JD repeated, now eyeing the man suspiciously and glanced over his shoulder to Charlotte and the others, displaying their shock at the revelation of what had happened to their superior officers. Until now, they were aware of the Senior Staff contracting some odd native illness but now the whole truth was laid out to them. However, like all Starfleet officers, they took their cues from the person in the command chair and said nothing for now. JD was grateful for that and made a mental note to explain once he was done talking to Setlan.

“Chronologically, they’re all ten years old.” JD resumed speaking. “And no, this isn’t a joke. It’s been verified by DNA scans.” He said firmly, suspecting Setlan might have an answer and had no patience to wait for it. As humorous as this situation might seem at first glance, he was certain the Captain and his friends did not feel the same.

“No, no, I believe you,” Setlan assured him earnestly, staring back at him. His expression revealed both shock and astonishment, but not surprise, JD was certain now. “Are you absolutely sure, it is them?”

“Trust me,” JD replied with a slight shudder, “no child impersonating Chris Larabee could manage to be that mad.”

Setlan winced at that revelation, all signs of his buffoonish behaviour vanished now. Instead, he appeared like the leader he was, one who was quite concerned about the situation. “I take it, this transformation took place overnight?”

JD sat up straighter in his seat. “Yes, how did you know?”

“Well I don’t know how to tell you this but it isn’t the first time we have heard of such a strange occurrence transpiring on Hadir,” Setlan explained, his expression genuinely apologetic and somewhat embarrassed.

“What? When?” JD blurted out and then remembered himself. “Please continue.”

“Well,” Setlan inhaled deeply before hollering off-screen. “VEER! BRING ME A CUP OF HOT KAVFEE! I need my faculties if we are to resolve this matter!”

JD was starting to think he should have gotten drunk last night too and tried to exercise patience with this man when the urge to shout was becoming overwhelming. Now he was starting to understand why the Captain was as grouchy as he was sometimes.

“Tribune?” He prompted gently, working hard to restrain his youthful impatience.

“Yes, yes, sorry,” Setlan said dismissively before facing front again. “You have to understand we haven’t had contact with off-worlders for five hundred years and we certainly did not believe the Blue Vale could affect you so adversely. We’ve heard stories of such things happening but that was almost three thousand years ago! Such occurrences were only recorded as mythological tales of our past.”

The Blue Vale, JD’s mind was whirling and suddenly he remembered how he’d stayed away from the stuff and Rain had opted out of drinking the night before, because she was going on duty. Was that why he and Rain had escaped the transformation because they abstained the night before? His ma was right, drinking just got you into trouble.

“You mean it was the cider that caused this?” JD exclaimed, unable to hide his incredulity.

“Well if the legends are to be believed, yes.” Setlan nodded. “It never occurred to us it might have an adverse effect on any of you since we’ve been drinking it throughout our history. However, the cider was supposedly first fermented when off-worlders came to our world, thousands of years ago and tried to rule it. As we had no weapons, one of our best minds, a spellcaster, we are told, used the magical properties of the Blue Vale to chase them away. All we know from the stories handed down to us from those times is that the off-worlders became incapable of fighting and left soon after. If there is a cure to this, it has to be found in the Cavern of Aczax. It is where the spellcasters lair is supposed to be. It is believed to be located at the very end of the Narrow Caves.”

“You’re kidding,” this came from Charlotte. Fortunately, she said it low enough to not be heard.

JD couldn’t blame her, sharing the same sentiments himself. If he didn’t know better, he would have sworn Setlan was pulling his leg but the man was absolutely serious. “Spellcaster? Like a wizard?” He tried to keep the scepticism from his voice.

“Exactly!” Setlan said pleased JD grasped his meaning. “There is a pathway there but it’s seldom taken because it’s so narrow. Grown men will not fit.”

“What about blasting?” Drew asked. “Surely you must have drilling equipment for mining pergium that will reach the place.” Even as the man spoke, the temporary security chief did not like the implications of what this would mean.

“It would be difficult,” Charlotte spoke up, even before Setlan could reply. “Pergium is usually found in caves with osmium. It’s harder than diamond and takes forever to cut. It’s why Horta miners are in such demand when mining pergium.”

“We couldn’t cut through and without having a destination, we can’t transport anyone either,” JD added. “Not to mention, I wouldn’t like to try it with the pergium radiance interfering with the transporter signal.”

“This is insane,” Charlotte declared. “We have no idea if this Cavern of Azcax even exists. We’re talking about mythological references three thousand years old!”

JD tapped his combadge and spoke quietly. “Captain, have you been monitoring our conversation with Tribune Setlan?”

“I have,” Chris Larabee replied and once again, JD had to remind himself this was his captain he was speaking to, not some kid. Still, even if it was the voice of a child, the gloominess in it was unmistakable. The Captain was no happier about what he was hearing than JD.

“What are your orders Captain?” JD asked.

There was a pause before Chris answered. “Hell knows.”

In the background, JD heard a voice that was undoubtedly Adam’s. “Dad, language!”

What Chris was said next was something not to be uttered by any ten-year-old.

******* 

“Surely this is a joke,” Ezra declared as they sat in the conference room, that at present, looked like a classroom with the number of children present.

Following JD’s conversation with Tribune Setlan, they’d gathered in the Conference Room trying to decide what was to be done with the information provided by the man. JD, Adam and the senior staff, such as they were, considered Setlan’s report about legends and magic, not to mention the cure to their predicament, lying in some place called the Cavern of Azcax which lay at the end of something called the Narrow Caves.

Chris kept wondering at what point he was waking up because none of this could be real. It felt like some bad dream or worse yet, an equally bad kid’s movie where he had somehow landed a starring role.

“If it’s a joke, I’m not laughing,” Chris said annoyed.

“Captain,” Alex said with a sigh, her long hair tied into a ponytail, Chris noticed. “Perhaps we need to think about going down there and finding this place.”

“You gotta be kidding!” Buck burst out. “You expect us to go down to the planet in our current condition and try to find something called the Cavern of Azcax? It’s insane! We don’t even know it exists. You heard Setlan, it’s a legend handed down from three thousand years ago?”

“Geez, you’re pretty excitable for a little guy,” Vin pointed out, unable to resist at how upset Buck was getting when they were all in the same boat.

Buck Wilmington shot the Vulcan a stormy look. “Don’t make me come and grab you by your pointed Vulcan ears!”

“You’d have to get on a chair.” Vin returned smoothly, somehow managing to wear his unflappable expression despite being ten years old.

“That’s it!” Buck shouted. “Anyone makes fun of my height again....”

“You’ll make short work of us?” Ezra could not resist commenting and received a murderous glare from Buck that only made the First Officer look constipated instead of angry.

“By all means,” Josiah threw up his hands, “let’s act age appropriate.”

“ALL RIGHT KNOCK IT OFF!” Chris snarled and he said it with enough command in his voice to transcend the limitations of his current age, to sound very much like the Captain of the Maverick.

Everyone fell silent and Chris glared at Buck, Ezra and Vin respectively. “Calm the hell down! No one is thrilled about this situation! The last thing we need to do is start behaving like....” he stopped himself from saying the obvious. “Inappropriately.”

Taking a deep breath after the min-Larabee glare cowered the trio into submission, he returned his attention to his science officer, wanting to hear the thought she had voiced earlier. “You were saying.”

Alex shook her head, ignoring the antics of her comrades and husband before speaking in a tone that was very much in keeping with the delivery of her reports at briefings.

“Okay, so let’s face it, we are in the state we are. No science we know can change us back. There’s a possibility we may be able to transport back to the planet and using the transporters, with a previous pattern, return to what we were. Except that version of us will not retain memories of the period after the original pattern was recorded. Furthermore, without any idea of how this happened to us, I wouldn’t risk it.”

“Can this actually be corrected by the transporter?” Nathan stared at her in astonishment.

“It’s possible,” Julia spoke up. With her curls, she looked somewhat cherubic as she explained. “But it’s not a procedure I recommend unless we can find no other way.”

“Captain,” Alex continued speaking. “I know this isn’t the best solution, but the fact is, we have been altered somehow and as ridiculous as the idea of magic and sorcery may sound, this may be based on some science that at the time, seemed like magic. Three thousand years ago, this entire ship would have been considered the chariot of some divine being. We can’t assume whomever this spellcaster was, didn’t use a method that has a scientific basis. For all we know this Cavern of Azcax could be a lab. Whatever it is, finding it may be our only way of getting back to normal. I would suggest we at least give it a try.”

“Alex, we’re talking about trekking into mines that are miles below ground,” Chris pointed out.

“The alternative is to wait here and hope this condition does not get worse,” Josiah added. “At the moment, it’s just our bodies but judging by the way our tempers seem to be flaring,” he glanced at Buck and Vin in particular, “it may be our mental faculties are deteriorating too. We could end up thinking like ten-year old’s, losing all our knowledge and life experiences.”

“We can’t go there looking like this!” Buck declared. “Chris, even if I believe Alex is right. We’re not physically capable of doing this.”

“You’d be surprised what a kid is capable of doing when they need to survive,” Vin reminded and no one could disagree with him on that point because Vin had survived a hellish childhood with only himself to rely on.

“I’ll go with you,” Adam spoke up. “I may not be able to go all the way but I can stick with you as far as I can. Besides, I’m used to moving around narrow tunnels and mines.”

“Adam, you’re a civilian,” Ezra pointed out. “It ought to be one of my security team.”

“Well he’s my dad and you’ve all been pretty good to me,” Adam stated staring at Chris. “I’m going.”

Chris exchanged a faint smile with his son, feeling warmly about the boy’s determination to protect them all but felt he had to add, “Adam, we don’t know what is down there. It could be risky.”

“Captain,” JD spoke up, “it’s already a risk. To be honest, I feel safer about him being down there than all of you.”

“Chris,” Mary reached for his hand and though they were still children, her soothing manner penetrated his hesitation and he knew she was right. There really wasn’t any choice.

“Alright,” he sighed. “Get the details of this Cavern of Azcax, and all the data available on it for Alex to look at. Once we have that information, we’ll decide what gear we’ll need.”

“Chris, what do we tell the crew?” Buck asked. So far, the crew had no idea of their condition, save those who needed to know. “They’re bound to ask questions when they notice the entire senior staff absent.”

“Captain, I would keep it quiet,” Josiah advised. “I have enough trouble trying to wrap my mind around this situation, let alone exposing it to the crew.”

“I concur with the Counsellor,” Ezra spoke up. “I am still unconvinced this isn’t some elaborate ruse to cripple the command structure of the Maverick. Even if it isn’t, the ship is a decidedly vulnerable state should the raiders attack.”

Chris didn’t think this was the work of raiders Ezra’s point was still valid. They didn’t know anything for certain and until they did, they couldn’t take the risk. While Chris had confidence in JD’s ability to be in charge of the bridge, for the time being, he had no idea how the young man would handle the situation if the ship entered a combat situation, which was entirely possible given the circumstances.

“We tell them nothing,” Chris declared. “We tell them, we’re required on the surface to conduct negotiations with the Hadir and leave it at that. For the sake of morale and the ship’s security, we need to keep this quiet.”

“For how long?” Buck asked. “We’re banking a lot on a bunch of myths and legends to get us out of this mess.”

“Well like Alex says,” Vin replied, lending support to his wife’s theory, not because of his personal feelings towards her but because she wouldn’t make assumptions without giving the matter serious thought. “Myths and legends usually have some basis in fact.”

“Besides,” Nathan remarked, “I rather be down there, doing something to get out of this mess than being stuck up here, trying not to let anyone see me. I keep expecting someone to wonder why we aren’t in school.”

Chris’s eyes widened in horror. “That is not funny.”

“No, funny is finding some strange kid in your father’s bedroom, trying on his underwear.”

With the decision made to embark on this trip to Hadir, there was little to do for the senior staff but to remain out of sight. Buck, who was having the most difficulty with all this, wanted nothing more than to retreat to his quarters, where he could hide until it was time to go down to the surface. It wasn’t just that he was the smallest, he thought glumly as he sat on his bed, it was just that looking like this surfaced some rather unpleasant memories of the past, he really didn’t want to remember.

Being small hadn’t been really a problem. Other kids at school were small. Being small, fatherless and the son of a local barmaid, was.  Most of the bullying he suffered was based on his mother Tessa’s supposedly unsavoury vocation and the kids in school on Utopia Planitia never let him forget it. Of course, he always told her they were picking on him because he was small because he couldn’t bear to see the hurt in her eyes if she knew she was the reason for his torment.  

Buck heard Aislynn’s low purr in his ears and immediately smiled at the sight of the Selurian Minx cat. During the first few weeks of being First Officer, the Maverick encountered an old ship called the Leonov trapped on an asteroid. What followed was the discovery of an unknown alien life form with powerful telepathic abilities, capable of tricking humans into believing the livestock left behind in the ship, were crew. Aislynn had presented herself to Buck as a young girl who helped them escape the life form with their lives, resulting in her reverting to her animal form. Her last request of him before her humanity was taken, was her wish to see the stars.

Buck had brought her back to the Maverick in her true form and kept Aislynn with him ever since. Even if she was no longer that sweet child who surrendered everything to save him, she showed her regard by her soft purrs of affection whenever he returned to his quarters. Like at this moment, when she sensed his melancholy and settled on his lap, offering a purr of sympathy as Buck stroked her head.

“At least you know me,” he sighed.  The cat’s golden eyes met his and another purr seemed to indicate her reply, making Buck feel a little better. “This whole situation is crazy Aislynn and it’s not because I’m the smallest, it just reminds me of how it felt back then, being so helpless and not being able to say a word about it. If she’d known how I was feeling it would hurt her awful bad and I could never stand to see her cry.”

Suddenly the door slid open and Buck stared at it for a moment as it parted, wondering who would be so presumptuous as to enter his quarters without asking.  If it was JD, he was going to have a talk with the ensign about minding one’s manners. He might look like a ten-year-old but he was still First Officer and would tolerate no one simply walking into his quarters.

Unfortunately, it was not JD.

From the moment Buck Wilmington had met Inez Recillos, he was smitten. Absolutely, irrevocably smitten. Unfortunately, the lady was taken by his old friend Raphael Castille of the Venture and so Buck had to nurse his disappointment in silence. When Raphael died, he’d tried to be a friend mostly because he understood the ravages of grief, having helped Chris Larabee through a similar trial. From that tragic platform, they’d developed a friendship on the cusp of becoming something deeper, something that would have him happily discarding his philandering ways forever.

“Aw hell!” He cursed as their eyes met and was fully prepared to hide beneath the bed to avoid being seen like this. Did this humiliation get any worse!

“Buck” Inez started to say, having yet to see him and then stopping short at the sight of the small boy with Aislynn, the cat Inez had taken to feeding for Buck when he was off the ship. Since he and the Senior Staff were on Hadir, Inez thought she’d better drop by and make sure Aislynn was fed. Inez who knew what Aislynn was to Buck, knew the First Officer, didn’t like the cat trapped without contact for extended periods of time.

Inez stared at the boy on the bed, caught between astonishment and disbelief at the familiar blue eyes staring back at her with mortification and horror. As the realisation of who he might be, dawned on her along with the impossibility of it, Inez managed to speak. “Buck? Is that you?”

Buck covered his face with a pillow. “Don’t look at me!”

The utter despair in his voice removed the smirk that wanted to split her face in half so Inez merely took a deep breath, controlled her most obvious reaction before she managed to stutter a response. “Buck, what...what happened to you?”

“I don’t know!” He replied through the pillow.  “I woke up like this!”

Aislynn looked up at Inez in resignation, the feline’s golden eyes almost saying, ‘I need some help with this’.  

Combatting the bizarreness of this because even if this wasn’t Buck, it was a child in a clear state of distress, she took a step towards the bed cautiously and lowered herself onto the edge of the mattress. “Buck, it’s alright. I’m sure whatever this is, it will get fixed soon enough.”

One couldn’t live on a starship to know strange things happened sometimes. After all, this was the crew who had been transferred to a reality where their holodeck simulations were real, had half the crew taken over by alien consciousness, to say nothing about the effects of a cosmic storm that had all the crew breaking out in spontaneous song.  The memory of Chris Larabee belting out ‘It’s a long way to the top if you want to Rock and Roll’ and Josiah’s rendition of ‘Let it Go’ still lingered in her mind.

No, Buck Wilmington being turned into a child was not the strangest thing she had ever seen on this ship.

“How did you know that it was me anyway?” He grumbled having noticed her quick acceptance. She had recognised him straight away when it had taken some convincing to get JD to even entertain the idea.

Inez smiled with affection. “I know those eyes anywhere, Senor Wilmington.”

Buck lowered his pillow and stared at her, “you do?”

Inez took note of his face again, thinking much of that vulnerability and sweetness was often on his adult face, even if he did not know it. “I do.”

“Come on,” she extended her hand towards him. Buck frowned, cautious about approaching her. He still felt humiliated at having her see him like this but there was no derision in her eyes, just kindness. Buck took her hand and Inez drew her to him. They came together in a hug and she held him tight, sensing his fear and worry at being stuck like this, as she held him, sensing he needed it.  No matter how old he was, he was still her friend.

Inwardly, Buck decided it was just like the universe to make it so the first time he got Inez into his bed would be like this. God hated him.

******* 

“You think we ought to be walking around like this?” Vin asked Alex as the duo headed towards the holodeck.

There was nothing to be done until Setlan could send them all the data regarding the legends surrounding the Cavern of Azcax and sitting in their quarters, was making them both a little stir crazy. At least their ship’s computer had been updated with their new voice patterns so they could get access to the ship’s facilities without Alex needing to hack the system. Besides, no one was going to recognise two children walking through the corridors of the ship, not when the Maverick was a ship of families and their situation was still unknown to the rest of the crew.

“Who’s going to recognise us?” Alex asked glancing at him. “Besides, you were going crazy staying inside and I was going crazy watching you.”  

To say nothing of the fact they were still technically newlywed and in their present bodies, the whole thing made Alex decidedly squeamish if not completely weirded out. Considering the attraction, they’d shown each other from the moment they came on board, their current circumstances would take some readjustment.

“Come on, we can go dive bombing in that creek on the ranch. The one we always go riding by.”

“Dive-bombing?” He stared at her in amusement, never considering that bit of rock perched above the waterline in the deep end of the creek could be employed for that purpose. As an adult, it wouldn’t be much fun but as a kid, he had to admit, the possibilities for mayhem were endless. Vin grinned at Alex, for being the one to come up with the idea. She always knew what kind of activities to interest him.

“Come on,” she gave him a sly look, as she nudged him in the ribs. ““You know you want to. We can even disable the holodeck safety protocols.” she winked.

Vin laughed. “You’re gonna get us into trouble.”

They were almost to Holodeck 2 when the doors slid open and stepping outside, with a diminishing locale of a tropical beach behind them were two members of Alex’s science team, Lt. Terri Kearns and Lt. Cherry Sherman, whom she’d nicknamed the Terrible Twins, seeing how as they were close friends who almost always managed to pull a shift together, even when it required horse trading with the rest of the science team to manage it.  Alex considered them the bright stars of her Science team.

“Hey kids,” Terri saw them and broke into a little smile, “if you’re next, we’ve got a pretty great surf program you can use.”

Alex dropped her gaze and let Vin do the talking since she wanted neither to know she was their commanding officer, in this teen model.  Vin who had no desire to give himself away either thought quickly and responded, performing his best imitation of young Billy Travis.

“Thank you but we were going to swim in a creek and go hiking.” He replied, delivering those words with Billy’s usual dour expression.  Vin wondered if the child felt this way all the time and hated it if it were the case.

“Suit yourself,” Cherry quipped brightly before the two women resumed walking down the corridor. As they drew away, the two adults returned to their conversation. “So, did you hear, the Ice Queen actually recommended Charlotte for bridge duty.”  

Alex froze.

Vin on the hand covered his grimace with a facepalm before glancing at his wife, who was slowly turning around, paying close attention to the words coming from her subordinates. Her expression was rapidly becoming stormy and Vin cringed as the subject of discussion continued to its horrifying climax.

“Yeah, I guess she must have forgiven Charlotte for almost bagging Vin Tanner.” Terri giggled, with Cherry joining in the laughter a second later.

“Either that or all that sex must have thawed her out,” Cherry remarked as the two of them disappeared around the corner.  “You know what they say about Vulcan stamina. I bet he goes like a machine.”

Vin turned dark green, not to mention was mortified, wondering if the incident with Charlotte Richmond would ever cease to haunt him. Next to him, Vin saw Alex smouldering. He didn’t know what infuriated her more, the fact they were calling her the Ice Queen, something Vin never realised she was referred to, or the possibility Alex harboured any jealousy towards Charlotte for the unfortunate incident between them.  

During the onset of Pon Farr when his sexual awakening was first manifesting, Vin had been terrified of approaching Alex for fear of harming her. Of course, that hadn’t stopped him from embarking on a brief tryst with Charlotte and it was only before it went too far, had he realised what happened and ran out of her quarters, half dressed and thoroughly horrified by what he had done.

While Alex had been chagrined by the whole affair, she showed no ill feeling towards the woman and Vin was pleased when she recommended Charlotte to take up her post on the bridge during this crisis. However, now...

“Vin,” Alex turned to him and spoke in a perfectly calm voice, her face devoid of expression. “Promise me you’ll wait for me while I’m in prison. How long could they put me away for a double murder?” She was preparing to go after the gossipy duo. She drew away from him, four and a half feet of irate, prepared to rain Klingon whoop ass on two women who had no idea how much time they would be spending the next six months cleaning EPS conduits.

Vin rolled his eyes and didn’t even bother arguing with her.  Catching up to Alex, he swept her up in his arms and slung her over his shoulder without giving her a chance to argue. Alex uttered a squeal as she was carried away. He might look like a ten-year-old but he was still Vulcan and four times stronger than her.

“Vin, what the hell are you doing?”  She demanded indignantly as he carried her towards the holodeck.

“Saving you from yourself, darlin.” He said without pause and hoped he would be spared throwing her into the creek to cool her off. “Saving you from yourself.”

******

“I’m hungry,” Josiah remarked as he, Ezra Standish and Julia Pemberton headed out of the Conference Room towards their quarters where they would be sequestered away until their mission to Hadir.  

“How can you be hungry at a time like this?” Ezra frowned, unable to think of food in this wholly unacceptable position, where he was reduced to a pint-sized version of himself, kept from the job he loved, in a condition that could have staggering implications if it were not corrected.

“According to my father, when I was ten I was always hungry.” He pointed out as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I might go down to Four Corners and get some food, I suddenly feel like waffles.”

“Surely you can’t be serious?” Ezra stared at him. “We’re children!”

Josiah leaned forward and remarked. “You know,” he said slyly, “apparently children have been observed in the wild eating waffles. Sometimes, if you watch very closely, they even have...” he raised his head and looked around furtively, in an exaggerated show of sneakiness, “blueberries on it.”

Ezra glared at him through narrowed eyes. “I am glad you are finding this so amusing.”

“I am not,” Josiah stated firmly for clarity. “I’m a grandfather, or soon to be. I don’t much like telling my grandchild why I’m younger than his mother if we’re stuck like this permanently but I’m not going to drive myself insane because of it either.”

The horror of being stuck like this was too terrible to imagine Ezra thought, but then Josiah did have a point. As if to drive it home, he felt Julia’s hand in his, squeezing tight.

“It will be okay Ezra,” Julia was aware that he hated any situation he couldn’t control and this certainly fell into that category.  “I know it’s crazy, but we’ll be fine.”

“I suppose,” Ezra said glumly. “And waffles do not sound too terrible a repast for the indignities we are facing.”

“That’s more like it,” she kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Suddenly, a burst of giggles and hoots were heard from behind them with a decidedly juvenile tone to it.  All three officers turned around and found themselves facing a group of children, of similar ages to them, (well physically), having caught the exchange between him and Julia with great amusement. The girls were giggling and the boys, well they were staring at Ezra in admiration. Josiah suspected it was likely because most ten-year-old boys had to do a significant amount of pushing and shoving before a girl realised she was being courted. That Julia had kissed Ezra seemed to imply the successful application of this technique.

“Hey, are you guys new?” A blond boy who stood a little taller than Ezra asked as he approached. “We haven’t seen you on the ship before.”

Ezra who was a master of covert operations answered. “Uh yeah.”

Josiah rolled his eyes and Julia tried not to facepalm.  

“I mean yes,” he said glaring at them. “We just came on board at Deep Space Five.”

“I’m Jimmy Seils,” he introduced himself. “That’s Becky Littleton, Glen McLean, Susie Mims...” Jimmy proceeded to introduce himself and his companions, even though Josiah knew all of them from his frequent visits to the school to see Audrey.

“I’m...” Ezra started to speak when he realised his name was pretty distinct and made another selection, “...Peter, this is Jo and that’s Julie.”

He glanced at Josiah and Julia to play along. The last thing they needed to do was traumatise the youngest members of the Maverick’s crew.

“Hi,” Julia waved and Josiah did the same.

“So, like is he your boyfriend?” Blond and curly Susie Sims asked Julia with a smirk.

Julia tried not to smile at Ezra’s distaste at being referred to as anyone’s boyfriend. It just sounded so, so high school, she once heard him stutter devoid of his usual eloquence. “Yes,” she smirked, holding his hand and making the girls squeal in amusement. “We’re going steady.”

Jimmy found this whole situation quite disturbing but figured ‘Peter’ had to be cool if he could get such a pretty girl like Julie to like him. “We’re going to the holodeck to play space pirates, wanna come?”

Ezra was about to say no when Josiah spoke up without an ounce of repentance on his face. “That sounds like fun. Come on ‘Peter’,” Josiah grinned ignoring the look of exasperation on Ezra’s face.

“I’m going to be a Klingon warrior!” Becky declared proudly.

“Klingons don’t let girls be warriors, stupid.” Glenn pointed out.

Becky smacked him. 

Julia held her tongue because she was certain Alex would have something to say to that fact. Ezra in the meantime simply glared at Josiah with an unspoken promise.

I will make you pay for this.

NEXT CHAPTER

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