Epilogue
Happy Endings
As
promised, there was not much left when the dust had cleared.
The
bunker, the sarcophagus and most importantly the Stargate
had been buried under a ton of rubble when the explosive charges placed by the SGI
team did its worst. They had watched from a distance as a tidal waves of soil
and rock ejected into the air with a column of fire that left no doubt as to
the totality of the destruction that had followed. The impact of the tremendous
roar felt like a force of nature and the horses had been property terrified at
the initial detonation. When the thunderous noise had finally died down and the
jets of fire had finally dwindled into the nothingness of smoke, all that was
left in the wake of the fiery discharge was something of a crater. To the
casual observer, it could be believed that this entire site had been the
unfortunate victim of a seismic imbalance. Certainly, that was a more plausible
explanation than the truth.
When
they returned to the site on horseback, they found that Jack O'Neill had been
correct in saying there would be nothing to find. At the moment, there were
only the dishevelled layers of soil and dirt that
would eventually be smoothed back into place by the harsh windstorms that came
rumbling across this land on occasion. In a week or two, this place would not
look any different from any other parcel of land in the Territory and the
bunker and everything in it would fade into obscurity. The truth would only be
known the seven lawmen of
Neither
Mary or Alex had come out of their deep sleep but Chris and Vin were not overly
concerned about it. Sam Carter had told them that the ejection of a Goa'uld was an exhausting process on the body and many of
the life functions normal to humans would have to readjust themselves to life
without the symbiote. They would wake up eventually
but for the moment it was better to let them recover from their experience.
Besides, Chris had a feeling the real battle would begin when they woke up.
Vin
was grateful to learn from Buck that nothing had transpired between Alex and
Ezra because of the state they had found him in. Even though the tracker was
resolved to let nothing get in the way of his happiness at having Alex back
especially in a matter where she had been powerless to stop Isis from using her
body against her will, he was nonetheless glad to hear it. He was sure that if
Alex retained such memories had anything transpired between herself and Ezra,
she would not be able to tolerate them. Alex was hardly a prude but even she
would have a great deal of difficulty knowing that her body had been used in
this way.
Chris
on the other hand, was more concerned about how he would explain Mary's behaviour to town and decided that he was going to have
fabricate a good story not only for the good citizens of Four Corners but also
Billy. His mother's actions at the onset of this nightmare had left the child
in a thoroughly confused state and Chris had no idea what he would say to the
boy. It was one thing to speak an untruth to the town because the reality was
too fantastic to be believed but it was another thing entirely to lie to a
child.
They
returned to town in the dead of night and no one noticed their arrival, which
was just as well. Chris took Mary straight home and lay her in her bedroom,
letting her sleep, hoping that things would be better the next morning, even
though he seriously doubted it.
He
woke up and found her staring at the mirror.
Vin
had been asleep in the wing chair in Alex's bedroom, too afraid to leave her
after what he had been through to bring her back to him. He had brought her
home to her bed and removed the dress that had been
It
did not take him long to realize shortly after he had placed her in the sheets
of her bed that her sleep was anything but restful. Thus he remained in her
room but at a safe distance, not wishing to overwhelm her with his presence but
reluctant to leave her alone either. Nathan had dropped by and wrapped a
bandage and stitched up her injured hand, all without her knowing that he was
even there. The healer was just as concerned about Alex being on her own and
had actually recommended that Vin stay behind, promising Rain would take over
the duties in the morning.
He
woke up when he heard a slight movement and shifted his eyes immediately to her
bed and found some measure of alarm when he saw it empty. It took a further
second for him to deduce where she had gone and then saw she was standing
before her full-length mirror, staring at herself. Vin rose to his feet
quietly, uncertain of what she was doing, only aware that she was examining her
reflection rather closely. As he neared her, she did not react to his approach
even though Vin was certain that she was aware of him. She glanced sideways
long enough to register his presence before looking into the mirror once more.
"Alex."
He spoke, breaking the silence that was creeping under his skin.
She
did not answer but as he finally reached close enough to be standing next to
her, he realized that she was tracing the skin of her face with her finger as
if searching her image for some flaw or mark that he could not fathom. Only
when he was close enough to touch her did Alex finally manage a response.
"I can touch my face." She whispered.
He
did not understand the significance but could appreciate that she was extremely
distressed. After what she had been through, it was only natural.
"Yeah,
you can." He said because it seemed the safest answer all around.
"I
wasn't sure." She swallowed. "I don't feel her inside me any more but
she's not gone."
Vin
was immediately filled with alarm at that statement.
Realizing
what he was construing from that statement, Alex, corrected herself
immediately. "You don't understand." She responded, shifting her gaze
from her reflection and facing him. "I see things in my head," she
stammered. "Vague pictures I don't understand and I know they're hers."
Well
"I
don't want to hurt you." She warned, genuine terror in her eyes.
"You
can't hurt me Alex," Vin quickly answered, feeling a thousand knives in
his heart by just the look of desolation on her face. She did remember a great
deal more than she ought to he realized, including what
"I
couldn't stop her!" Alex wailed, the wafer thin wall of composure
shattering as that image came into her mind. "I tried to warn you because
I knew she was going to hurt you! But I wasn't strong enough! Her mind was so
strong!" Alex's voice started to break. "So old and so strong. The
things she knew! And yet there was no soul! Nothing to appreciate anything
except one moment of stolen . ." she faded away unable to voice that
particular indignity because it just made her stomach want to heave in protest,
just thinking about it. "I saw her kill you!" She finally exploded
into tears and crumbled to the floor. "I watched as she used my hands to
kill you!"
"I'm
all right darlin'." Vin was on his knees in
front of her before she could resume her heart wrenching sobs. "I'm here
and you ain't gonna hurt me are you? You're a doctor Alex and I can't think of
anything worse for you to have been trapped with that thing in control of you
but she's gone and you are still here. Its your body again and your life. Don't
let her win!" He implored, trying to convince her that he blamed her for
nothing and it was not her fault what had happened.
"Oh
god Vin!" She wept even harder than before wrapping her arms around him as
she sobbed into the crook of his shoulder, drawing comfort from the one person
who could make it all better. "I want to kill her so badly I could taste
it. I wanted to make her feel pain for all the things she made me do, all the
terrible, terrible things! Not just to you but to Ezra."
"Ezra's
fine." Vin whispered in her ear while running his palm over her hair,
stroking it with a slow moving action that he hoped would soothe her.
"You
didn't see," she gasped through her tears. "You didn't see what she
did to him. My god! You didn't see how she tortured him!"
Vin
felt his stomach hollow at the idea of torture and remembered what Buck had
said about the state they had found Ezra in. If it were not for the sarcophagus
that had saved his life, Ezra would have died just as surely he had at
Alex
shook her head, wiping her eyes long enough to know while Ezra's body was
healed, his mind was another matter entirely. "No, Vin." She
swallowed, feeling some measure of strength returning to her while his arms
were around her, offering support and comfort. "He's not fine." She
whispered softly. "You don't know." She shook her head unable to
bring herself to say it. "You don't know what he went through."
Alex
could not tell him the rest of it because even she had trouble thinking about
it. How could she look Vin in the face and tell him that Ezra had made love to
this body? She could not even blame it on
She
had been carried away on the same tidal wave of pleasure that made
Mary
slept peacefully.
She
dreamed of her son and of her home. She dreamed of the man who had crossed
space and untold distances to find her and she was content. Of course no sleep
is ever completely peaceful and no dream ever fully pleasant and the memory of
the one who had shared her mind still lingered but Sekhmet's
power over her was slight. However despite the elusiveness of her memories,
there were occasional images that made her shudder and tremble with a cold
shiver she could not explain. There were moments of lucidity where she was
aware that thing inside of her was insane and had a thirst for blood that made
her skin crawl with revulsion.
While
it would have been easy to become lost in Sekhmet's
dementia, only one thing had kept Mary Travis Larabee
anchored to reality and that had been Chris. She was aware of him struggling
and fighting to bring her back to him and it was the only thing that made any
sense to her when she was trapped in the delirium of Sekhmet's
insanity that had threatened to overwhelm them both. Mary supposed that it was
a kindness that she remembered very little about what the woman had done while
wearing her skin. Mary was aware of some violence directed at Ezra Standish and
knew that Sekhmet had particularly hated Chris or
perhaps in some ways, wanted him and could not imagine how he would love the
host instead of the Goa'uld that had been in residence.
When
she woke from her black sleep, Mary found herself in her own bedroom, in the
house she shared with Chris. Outside, she could see the sun shining brightly
with the promise of a beautiful day. She took a deep breath for a minute, savouring the feel of it in her lungs and more precisely
the fact that she had taken it of her own free will, with nothing inside
commanding how her body should act. Mary was grateful that much of her memories
were fragmented because Sekhmet had been a vile
creature that was utterly foul in its creation. Strangely enough, she sensed
that the goddess had not always been this way.
There
was enough left inside Mary to believe that Sekhmet
had once truly been the warrior goddess who did not take pleasure from the art
of war as a way to brutalize but as a tool of conquest as any good soldier
would say.
Mary
was uncertain of what had happened to Sekhmet to
change her from a soldier to a butcher but in the end the turmoil she sensed
inside Sekhmet's mind as more and more of the Goa'uld began to unravel would have ultimately destroyed
them both. There was a part of Mary that would never shake the residual effects
of Sekhmet inside her body, even know she ached in a
dozen places from wounds she knew Chris had inflicted upon her himself. Mary
felt no anger towards that as she felt the tenderness in her jaw and in her
throat. He had saved her from more than just death and for that Mary could
forgive him anything, least of all some bruises that would take care of itself
in time.
She
wondered where Billy was as she started to move out of bed and noticed that
there was familiar warmth beside her. Chris was asleep next to her. By the
looks of it, he had nestled her in bed and then collapsed beside her in sheer
exhaustion, fully clothes over the covers. For a moment, she merely looked at
him, reveling in the sight of his slumber as the hardened gunslinger she knew
and loved was nowhere in sight. All she could see was the man who was willing
to sacrifice his soul to see to it that hers was safe. She lay next to him
again, stroking the dark gold strands of his hair, relishing the feel of just
being with him this morning and felt a swell of gladness knowing it would be
the same for every morning throughout the rest of her life.
He
stirred at her touch and opened his eyelids to meet her eyes. Mary smiled at
him and continued running her fingers against his hair, feeling her heart fill
with love and telling him in her own way that everything was all right, that
she was his again. He reached for her hand and cupped it with his own, feeling
the smooth texture against his skin as he closed his eyes and composed himself.
She could see the emotion welling up his eyes, the hard black pieces of
obsidian that filled with tears knowing that he had not lost her. For the past
two days, he had been fighting to remain strong because his friends needed a
leader and he needed to keep himself together to get her back. However, those
walls came tumbling down now that he had done all that was required of him and
Chris was finally able to be swept away in the currents of his emotions and the
intense gratitude of having his wife back.
"Oh
god Mary," he said softly, letting warm tears spill down his cheeks
because he had not believed it until this moment that he had not lost her like
he had lost Sarah. Even with his killing Sekhmet
himself, Chris had not known or believed that any of it was real until this
precise moment. "I thought. .I thought.."
"Hush
Chris," she wrapped him in her arms and held him there. "I'm home
now. You didn't fail me. You brought me home."
He
gathered himself on the reassurance of those words and calmed himself down,
still uncomfortable after all the months of marriage to show her that he could
be vulnerable. Had Chris bothered to ask, he would have discovered that Mary
was well aware of this but allowed him his dignity because he was after all a
man and men were never as wise about these things as they should be. "Are
you okay?" He asked. It would take a long time for him to forget Sekhmet but as long as Chris could look into Mary's eyes
and see the woman he loved, he could stand anything.
"There
are pieces of her that I remember," Mary confessed, trying to make sense
out of the conundrum that was Sekhmet's mind.
"There was so much anger and hatred inside of her. Most of it is a jumble.
I know that she did something bad to Ezra because there are moments where I can
remember him screaming but its all so far away."
"Ezra
was hurt bad." Chris replied, grateful that she would not remember.
"I
don't know how he'll take seeing me." Mary answered, wondering how Ezra
would react to her, particularly if she had caused him the pain she believed
she did.
While
she remembered his screams and her presence during his torture, she recalled
nothing of what she had done and the truth, it had not been her that caused
Ezra's ordeal but Sekhmet. Still, Ezra would
undoubtedly look at her face and see his torturer and Mary had no idea how to
take that.
"Its
best you stay away for awhile." Chris advised, unable to think of anything
else that could be done for the moment. He had not had the chance to see the
gambler himself and nothing could be decided until that meeting took place.
Until
he saw Ezra's eyes, Chris could not know for certain how Ezra had fared
following his ordeal. He only knew that his advice was the most prudent course
of action for the moment.
Ezra
kept to himself for most of the day. Even though he was physically in good
health, he found himself hiding inside Julia's house, not wishing to see
anyone. He knew that eventually, he would have to leave the house and face the
fact that he was home again and the nightmare of the past two days was exactly
that, in the past. He wished more than ever that Julia was home because he
needed her now more than ever and hated the fact that he was angry that she was
absent. Even though J.D. and Nathan had left him at his lodgings, Ezra had
sneaked away to lose himself in Julia's home, aware that she would not mind him
being here while she was gone.
He
sat behind her desk and thumbed through the books she had on the shelf,
fingering in silent contemplation the pages of Dickens, which she loved so
much, without reading a word of it. The memory of what had happened to him
preyed heavily on his mind and Ezra knew where he was going to end up if he did
not snap out of his melancholic state. He did not want to live his life playing
the victim. He was not a victim and yes, he had suffered brutal tortures under
the ministrations of the demon wearing Mary Larabee's
face but as Ezra told himself a hundred times since it had happened, it was not
her fault.
She
was not responsible for what had happened.
The
creature that had used her body to commit such atrocities was dead. Chris Larabee had put a bullet in it himself, Vin Tanner has
assured him when the tracker had stopped by earlier that day to see if he was
all right. In fact, all the others had done the same thing, just dropping in to
say hello or seeing how he was doing. Ezra hated the attention and he hated it
even more that it was his behaviour that was
prompting this response from his friends.
It
was almost nightfall when he heard the door knock and wondered who it could be
now. Ezra did not want anyone other than his close friends to know that he was
in residence here because it would do Julia's reputation no good to have people
know that she was entertaining an unmarried man in her home. Grumbling as he
went to the back door, he pulled it open and found himself standing before Mary
Larabee. For a moment, he did not know what to do say
to her. The most obvious reaction was to pull out his gun and shoot but as he
saw her staring at him, her eyes filled with sorrow at the pain he was feeling,
Ezra could not associate her with the woman who had nearly tortured him to
death.
"Ezra
can I come in?" She asked, still standing at the door.
"No."
He shook his head.
"Ezra
please," Mary implored. "I am sorry for what happened to you."
Her blue grey eyes filling with tears and suddenly, Ezra understood what people
meant when they said she had eyes like a dove. She did at that. One could drown
in the hope that lay within the depths of those azurite pools. He suddenly had
an insight into why Chris Larabee loved her so much.
Ezra could have loved her himself, actually he did, just not in the way that
Chris did.
"Mary,"
Ezra swallowed, never thinking these words could be so hard to say but somehow
in these last few seconds of staring at her at the back porch, seeing her face
with all the compassion in the world in her eyes, it escaped his lips with no
help from him. Suddenly, he was no longer speaking from his mind but from his
heart. "I thought I would never again be able to view your face without
envisioning the brutality I suffered at that creature's hands but at this
moment, I feel myself locked in paradox of sorts. I remember your face when I
see her but I look at you now and I see no sign of her, just the friend you
have always been."
Mary
let out a sigh of relief but did not delude herself into believing that this
was far from over. "I'm glad Ezra," she said with genuine pleasure.
"I can't remember fully what she did to you and seeing your reaction now
makes me glad I don't. I cannot take away the pain she used me to inflict upon
you but I can stay out of your way as much as I can until you feel that we can
be friends again."
Ezra
did not want that at all. He closed his eyes and steeled himself to follow her
as she started to turn away. "Mary," he called out and forced the
lady to face him again. "I do not wish that." He admitted. "Your
friendship has been one of the brightest things in my life since my dreary
existence in this place began. It will not be easy for me in the coming months,
I envision that we both have experiences of this entire affair that neither
would like to recall. However, I do not wish to compound my misery by chasing
away one of the few friends I have."
"Ezra
are you sure?" Mary looked at him, taking his hands in hers as she met his
gaze. "I know it is hard for you. ."
"It
is hard Mary," Ezra confessed. "More than you will ever know but I
cannot allow her to defeat me yet again. You are my friend dear lady, one that
has always stood up for me when I required it most. I do not take such things
lightly and I do not forget it when it becomes inconvenient. Whatever demons
plague will do so whether or not I see you on a daily basis or not at all. I
will have to overcome them either way."
Mary
wiped the tears from her eyes and nodded. She leaned over and kissed him gently
on the cheek. "You are scoundrel and a con man Ezra Standish," she
said with a bittersweet smile. "But you are a gentlemen and I am honoured to call you my friend."
Amazingly
enough as Ezra was to learn later, Mary was the easier of the two encounters he
had that night.
When
Alex knocked on the door less than an hour later, Ezra was even more reluctant
to let her in. As she stood on the back porch, they regarded each other like
enemies on either side of the field, preparing to wage a far more costly war
than either had imagined. Ezra expected to see Alex at some point, even though
he had to admit surprise to seeing her this soon. However, Alex was never one
to mince words or put off the inevitable. From the very moment they had
encountered each other, Ezra had knew that much about her. Even when they had
gone their separate ways, he had still been able to read her thoughts on most
things, except when it came to playing poker and at this moment, when she stood
before him with an unfathomable expression on her face.
"Alexandra."
He exclaimed with mild surprise, wondering who else was going to turn up
tonight.
"Let's
take it inside." She said coolly, walking straight past him and through
the back door into Julia's kitchen.
"Of
course." Ezra cleared his throat and followed her in, shutting the door
behind him as he left the doorway.
He
found her at the kitchen table, already seated and waiting expectantly for him.
He could not imagine what he would say to her and for that matter what she
could say to him to ease the awkwardness of the moment. Despite his anger at
being forced into the position at being made to perform for Isis to keep
himself alive, Ezra could not deny there had been a moment in their love making
when the pleasure had transcended the need for survival. During that brief
instance, he loved Alex the way he never had a chance to before he lost her to Vin.
"What
are you doing?" He looked at her in astonishment when he discovered she
had produced a deck of cards and was presently dealing them both a hand.
"Shut
up and sit down." She said abruptly and Ezra wondered for a moment if Isis
had really been expelled from her.
"Certainly."
Ezra frowned and sat down before her, still mystified by what she was
intending. "Alexandra, it has been a very lengthy day and I wish you would
get to the point of your visit. Without going into detail, I am not exactly at
my best at present and I seriously doubt that you are in any different state.
As engaging as a game of cards may be at this time, I am forced to admit that
for once I think I will pass."
"Do
you ever shut up?" Alex smouldered, her eyes
could have glowed for the annoyance in her voice.
"Stop."
He put his hand on hers to stop her from dealing any further. "Alexandra,
what is this about?"
"What
do you think?" She hissed and pulled her hand away from his and continued
dealing.
"I
have said nothing about that to anyone," Ezra assured her immediately.
"As far as they are concerned, I was tortured for refusing you."
"And
strangely enough, that does not make me feel any better." Alex retorted.
"Ezra, I have only three words to say to you on this point. Consider this
table neutral ground and the only place or opportunity you will ever have to
discuss this matter with me. When I leave this table and this house, it will
never be brought up again."
"I
am agreeable to that." Ezra nodded, not wishing to be reminded of his conduct
no matter how mitigating the circumstances were. "What are your three
words?" He asked her.
"It.
.never. .happened." Alex said firmly.
"And
strangely enough, that does make me feel better." Ezra confessed.
"Alex, I am not proud of what I had to do to convince Isis to keep me
alive. I felt as if I had betrayed you, Mr. Tanner and most of all Julia but if
it makes any difference at all. I did not make love to her, I made love to
you."
Alex's
expression softened and she reached across the table and slid her fingers in
between his. She let out a deep sigh, dispelling all the hostility and forcing
herself to recognize the situation for what it was. What had happened on that
world was a done deed, there was no changing it and Alex supposed she would
just have to live it. In fact, they both would have to and she could begin by
conceding that what happened was not his fault or hers.
"Ezra,
you did what you had to do. She would have killed you otherwise or implanted
you with one of those things. Trust me, as one who has endured that particular
hell, I would have done anything to keep that from happening to me as well. I
hate what happened Ezra, I won't lie to you about that. It was bad enough that
she took my body away from me and made me hurt so many people but to use it
that way, I can't stomach even thinking about it."
"Thank
you." Ezra frowned. "The earth moved for me too."
Despite
the situation, Alex could not help but chuckle as he said that. "Well I
don't want to know." With a faint smile she squeezed his hand once more
and then decided it was time to leave. There was nothing more to be said on
this subject. "I better get going." She declared, glad they were able
to clear this up. It would be strange looking at him for the next few months,
trying not to think of him so intimately and Alex almost wondered whether he
would have the same kind of thoughts and then realized she did not wish to know
if he did. "Are you okay?" She asked, aware that he had been healed
by the Goa'uld device but preferred to hear it from
Ezra himself.
"I
am getting better." Ezra said with a smile and was astonished to realize
that it was the truth. The months ahead would require much healing not only for
himself but for Mary and Alex too but then this was never about happy endings.
SGC
COMMAND, 2000
Five
months later. .
He
could not feel anything as he saw her lying on the slab, her skin turning grey
from the cold surroundings of the refrigeration units used to keep bodies fresh
before they were shipped to whatever burial their particular faith required. He
supposed he would have to be responsible for making the arrangements to have
her brought back to Abydos. The least he could was to ensure that she had a
proper burial, he owed her father that much at least. When she had first been
taken,
There
was a well of tears inside
Sharee was dead. For three years, he had prayed and
dreamed of having her with him again. He lay awake at nights, knowing that one
day the endless journeys through the gate would lead him to her. In a way it
had brought her to him except the Goa'uld inside of
her would not let that reunion be a happy one. He did not blame Teal'c for doing what was necessary even though by rights
he should be angry because the Jaffa had killed his wife. However, Sharee's beast had been hell bent on killing him at the
time and Teal'c had no choice but to act in order to
save his life.
"I
love you
Those
had had been her last words to him. Even as the life bled out of her, he was
the last thing in her heart. He had just enough time to make that same
declaration of love before she slipped away and the light in her eyes faded
forever. He had remained lying next to her on the floor of the tent where she
had died until the others found him and took them both home.
"
"She's
free."
Sharee was dead but she was also free and this was
never about happy endings.
The End