He could still hear the voices. 

There were so many of them overlapping each other until he couldn't tell where one began and ended. Filling his skull with their loud drone, he couldn't hear anything else but their chatter, crowding in on him. He could almost feel their breath against his skin, their hands tearing at his clothes, tugging him this way and that. The air seemed thin, and the faster he inhaled, the less of it reached his lungs, leaving him panting, desperate for his next breath. 

He tried to run, to claw past them, but their grip was iron, and no matter how hard he fought, or loudly he screamed for help, he could not break free of them. As ice-cold shards of panic shredded his reason, he could feel something else happening. It burst through his skin from beneath his flesh, cold and hard. Reaching for his face, his fingers made contact with something spreading across his temple, his cheekbone and finally over his eyes. 

When the red lens of an ocular implant descended upon his world, Buck Wilmington started screaming. 

The First Officer of the Maverick woke up in a cold sweat. 

He remained there for only a second, springing out of bed, the damp sheets clinging to his skin as he crossed the carpeted floor. Reaching the dresser, the small light in the alcove flooded the space with an ambient glow, allowing him to see his reflection in the mirror. For a few seconds, Buck stood there in front of the glass, staring at himself. Eventually, his trembling fingers reached for his face and traced the line of his cheekbones. The scars were no longer there and the eye staring at him was his own, but as Buck gripped the edge of the dresser, he could still feel the presence of the ocular implant on his face. 

And his reflection still felt like it belonged to a stranger. 

Buck knew who he was. He could remember the best and the worst of his life, but since he emerged from his ordeal as a drone, it didn't seem quite real. Sometimes, Buck thought he was watching an old-style flicker show from the 20th century, where he was the actor on screen, playing a role in an unfamiliar script. Six weeks after their return from the past and Buck still didn't feel like himself. In the depths of the night, when he couldn't sleep or was jolted out of a nightmare like a few seconds ago, he wondered if he was still trapped in his mind and this was a dream. 

Stepping away from the mirror, he went to the replicator for a drink of water. Frowning at the tangled sheets on his bed, he saw the state of the fabric. Even from here, he recognised the dampness of sweat and cursed because the ship's stewards weren't going to be thrilled at having to change another set of sheets, so soon after the last time. Glancing at the chronometer, he saw it was almost shortly after 0200 hours and knew even if he tried to go back to sleep, he wouldn't. 

His friends had told him repeatedly if he needed to talk, no matter what the hour, he could call on them and yet Buck couldn't bring himself to do it. Inez had been wonderful. She tried so hard to understand what was going on in his head, but Buck felt it unfair to burden her with his troubles when she had barely overcome the fear of losing yet another person she loved. It took her a long time to get over losing Raphael. How could he put her through that again with what was going on with him?

Meanwhile, Chris did his best to be supportive, and Buck felt deeply touched by how much his oldest friend tried to be there for him. But Chris was the Captain of the Maverick and Buck couldn't take up all his time when the man had enough things on his mind already. Buck supposed he could try Josiah, but as First Officer, Buck knew Josiah's attention was divided amongst all the traumatised members of the crew who'd also been freed from assimilation. 

In the end, Buck decided he wasn't going back to sleep and chose to do something productive with his time. Stepping into the shower cubicle, his preferences unleashed a torrent of hot water instead of the more efficient sonic shower that was the norm in the 24th century. It was Vin who introduced him to the concept and Buck had to admit, nothing felt more refreshing than feeling warm water wash away the dried sweat on his skin. 

It was odd how soothing hot water and soap could be, but it was. Feeling the spray across his face and back made Buck more connected to his skin than any other activity since emerging from assimilation. Beneath the water, he felt alive, invigorated and more himself than he'd felt since... 

Buck couldn't bring himself to say it. 

Closing his eyes and calming his turbulent thoughts, Buck knew he was fast reaching the point where his decision to handle this stoically would become impossible. He could feel himself fray at the edges, and despite being aware of the problem, Buck did not know what to do about it. 

Buck only hoped he recognised the edge before he tumbled over it.

Was it only six weeks ago, they were last in orbit above Vulcan? 

Actually, that was wrong, JD Dunne told himself. Technically it was two thousand, five hundred and six weeks ago since the Maverick left Vulcan. A temporal mishap saw the Collective arriving at the pre-Surak era of Vulcan history, with the Maverick in pursuit of their assimilated crew. Together with the assistance of General Stef, father to a teenage Surak, the Maverick was able to remove the Borg menace, while at the same time retrieving their missing crew. Once the threat was over, the Maverick needed to return home or risk being as dangerous to the timeline as the Borg. 

Gaining the help of the wormhole aliens in the Celestial Temple of Bajor, the Maverick was returned to the 24th century with no drastic changes to the timeline. The future was left very much intact and unhindered by their actions in the past. After spending a few weeks on Earth, where the assimilated could heal, and the rest of the crew enjoyed a well-deserved furlough after the trials of their last mission, the Maverick headed towards the frontier again, making a slight detour to Vulcan.

Of course, after the Captain's meeting with the Department of Temporal Investigations, JD couldn't blame Chris Larabee for a needing a few days to recover. 

Taking in the view of Vulcan from the command chair since he had the bridge during the night shift, JD still found the sight of the red planet breathtaking. 2500 years had not changed that even if the passage of time was marked by the obvious technological advances. In geosynchronous orbit around the planet, were subspace relay stations, smaller communication and weather satellites, not to mention Vulcan's Space Dock, whose size was equal to any starbase. Ships flew across the screen in transit, where they were small transports or sizeable starships. 

Just as marked was T'Khut, Vulcan's sister world. No longer the site of one lone mining complex, such facilities now covered more than half the planet. The perilous surface conditions were now carefully monitored by automated subterranean platforms, capable of offering occupants ample warning before significant geothermal activity took place. The advances allowed Vulcan to take full advantage of the mineral resources on T'Khut and these days, most of Vulcan's metal came from its sister world. 

"So are you going down there for shore leave?" 

Ensign Jewel Chun asked from JD's customary seat at communications. At the same time, Ensign Nora Densham occupied Vin Tanner's domain at the helm, making up the skeleton crew operating on the bridge at this hour.

"I don't know," JD hadn't really considered it.

He'd arranged a subspace call with Casey who left for Bajor not long after their return to Earth. Though he missed her terribly and since she'd gone, they'd communicated via subspace messages, JD understood Casey's need to reconnect with her people on Bajor. Adopted by then Captain Wells during the Occupation, Casey's parents had died trying to smuggle her off the planet, under the notice of the Cardassians. As a result, Casey was raised human and knew almost nothing about her Bajoran background. Assigned to DS9, JD knew she was going to spend the time away seeking out any remaining family she might have left. 

"After what happened when we were there, aren't you curious?" Nora asked.

"A little I guess," JD shrugged, supposing he'd like to see if T'hossuth had recovered from the destruction following the Borg invasion. "I don't know, I've got a subspace link set up with Casey."

"Oh, how is she doing?" Jewel looked at him interested, and JD remembered Casey and Jewel spent some off-duty hours together. Jewel was an avid ice skater and had given Casey lessons on the holodeck. 

"Great. Casey's been visiting places on Bajor, you know the Fire Caves, Kendra Province and the Dakeen Monastery." Even as he tried to inject some enthusiasm in his voice for Casey's exploits, JD couldn't help but pine for her. 

The door hissed open suddenly, prompting all three junior officers to turn and discover to their surprise, the First Officer stepping onto the bridge. 

"Buck! I mean Commander," JD exclaimed, vacating the command chair immediately. 

"Hey JD," Buck greeted the younger man while offering a nod of acknowledgement to both Jewel and Nora. "How're things up here?" 

"Quiet," JD took up the spot usually occupied by Mary Travis, while Buck lowered himself into the centre seat. "I mean there's the usual ship traffic, and the Lexington arrived an hour ago, but other than that, nothing exciting." 

JD resisted the urge to ask Buck was he was doing here, although inwardly the Communications Officer could guess. Before the Borg, Buck was rarely on the bridge during the small hours of the night unless an emergency required his presence. Back then, Buck rarely spent his nights alone, and Ezra had a running bet on which female crew member would be taking the walk of shame from the exec's quarters the next morning. Since seriously dating Inez, those instances had dwindled. While the rumour mill suggested Inez had yet to consummate her relationship with the First Officer, Buck had no trouble spending his nights alone. 

That was then. 

During their shore leave on Earth, Vin Tanner invited the Senior Staff to his ranch in Texas, with only Ezra and Julia Pemberton absent since the Chief Engineer wanted to go home to her family in Maine. Having been just as traumatised as Buck by her assimilation, no one could fault her for that. Buck as always, tried to put up a brave front, behaving as if everything was normal and he was completely recovered. Yet JD had seen him sitting on the porch half the night, going for walks, midnight rides, anything Buck could think of to keep from going to sleep. 

JD wasn't sure whether the Captain or Josiah was aware of the problem, but his worry about Buck was fast reaching the point where he was unprepared to continue doing nothing. He considered bringing it up with Alex, since she was the Maverick's second officer but wrestled with whether or not he was betraying Buck by doing so. If this was any other situation, it was to Buck he would go to for counsel, but what was he to do when Buck was the reason he needed the advice? 

"What are you doing up here?" JD asked gently, "you're not on duty for hours." 

"Oh, I felt like getting an early start," Buck shrugged off the question. "It's going to be a busy day tomorrow with everyone going down there for shore leave." 

"You aren't going?" JD stared at him. 

"I've spent enough time on Vulcan," Buck said without thinking. 

The bridge fell silent, and Buck's gut clenched at letting the comment slip. Cursing himself softly, he had no desire to let anyone know how uncomfortable he felt about going down to Vulcan. Even if the events he remembered were nearly two and half millennia in the past, to Buck and the Maverick, what happened was only weeks behind them. For Buck, it was even less than that and the memories replayed in his mind every damn night. The screams he heard in his dreams, the faces that still flashed in front of his eyes, the terror that came with thinking death was upon them, even if what happened was far worse. 

"I'm sorry Buck," JD quickly apologise, admonishing himself for not realising being back on Vulcan could be a sore point for Buck. "I didn't mean too..."

"Don't worry about it, JD," Buck dismissed the perceived slight and decided a change of subject was definitely in order. "I'm fine. I've just seen enough for a while. Besides, I gotta find Chris a new Yeoman before he goes crazy. He's got a ton of paperwork he hasn't made a dent in yet. I don't think he's recovered from that meeting with the boys at Temporal Investigations."

"Yeah," JD let out a sigh, realising with the appointment of a new Yeoman, Casey was really gone. Despite himself, JD felt another surge of longing at her absence and wished he had compelled her to stay, but that wouldn't have been fair to her. Casey had needed to go. 

"You okay?" Buck didn't miss the sadness in the boy's eyes. 

"Yeah," JD nodded. "I'm fine. Just missing her, that's all." 

"You know she had to go," Buck said kindly, patting JD on the shoulder and feeling a little more himself at being able to offer the kid some comfort. It made a welcome change from all the well-meaning attempts by others aimed in his direction of late. "Besides, it's a big universe out there and you both need to see some of it before deciding on anything permanent."

"Thanks, Buck," JD said gratefully and for a moment, thought the First Officer might be returning to some semblance of himself until JD saw his eyes.

Ezra Standish woke up to find the space next to his bed empty. 

This did not surprise him in the least since sleeplessness was only one of the symptoms being exhibited by those who escaped the Borg. Since her recovery from the Collective and her subsequent release from Sick Bay, Julia was barely able to manage a few hours of sleep at night. Her dreams were filled with nightmares, and though she did not describe their substance, Ezra could guess. The few words he'd managed to make out while she tossed and turned next to him, told Ezra enough. 

Sitting up from his pillow, Ezra found Julia where he expected to see her, lying against the sofa in his quarters, with Huxley curled up in her lap. She'd moved in after Nathan Jackson released her from Sick Bay shortly after their departure from Vulcan. With so many patients filling up medical, Nathan had needed the space but did not wish Julia to be alone. Moving in with Ezra allowed him to keep an eye on her during her convalescence. As Nathan explained it, the biggest difficulties drones had once they were freed from the Collective was adjusting to being alone inside one's mind again. While Julia had not been assimilated for long, it was long enough to leave its mark upon her. 

"Julia?" 

Both Julia and Huxley turned to him at the sound of her name. "I'm sorry Ezra, I didn't mean to wake you." 

"You did not," Ezra smiled at her affectionately. The Security Chief padded across the soft carpet of the room and sat at the edge of the sofa. Huxley, the Persian they'd bought together on Risa, purred a little louder in expectation of another hand to stroke and pamper him. "Were you able to sleep?"

"A little," she offered him a faint smile, trying to reassure him because Julia knew he was worried about her. Truth be told, she was a bit concerned about herself too. Julia had thought coming back to the Maverick would help with this sense of disconnection, but it didn't. Sitting on this sofa, staring into stars beyond the window, she could feel the wasteland inside her. "Ezra, I feel broken inside, and I don't know what to do about it." 

Ezra reached for the hand presently stroking the soft fur of Huxley's body and squeezed. "Julia, it will take time before you are fully healed. I cannot speak to what you must be feeling, but I do know what you endured was an ordeal. You are certainly not alone in your discomfort. I am certain everyone who was liberated from assimilation feels the same way." 

This Ezra knew for a fact. As Chief of Security, he was privy to everything taking place onboard the Maverick. He could do his job no other way and knew several crew members were working through their own demons following their freedom from the Collective's hive mind. 

Buck's insomnia manifested itself by how frequently the First Officer of the Maverick was reporting to his shift on the bridge, hours before he was actually needed. When Julia snuck out of bed, Ezra would find her in Engineering, conducting some minor maintenance task customarily performed by her underlings. Nurse Maria Ruiz had been sighted on three separate occasions, jogging through the Maverick from bow to stern, at least two or three times a night. Crewmen Kalani was making excessive use of the holodeck while others were playing poker in one of the empty cargo bays. Ezra had even joined them once or twice. 

"Julia," Ezra took a deep breath, "perhaps we should return to Earth for a few months. Under the circumstances, I cannot imagine Josiah would not grant you leave to go. I can come with you." 

"Ezra," she touched his cheeks, grateful for him and the sacrifice he intended to make. "I might be able to take the sabbatical, but you can't. The Maverick needs its Chief of Security. "

Ezra took a deep breath, wondering whether it was fate giving him the opening that suddenly presented itself or Lady Luck smiling on him again. "Julia, I can take the time if I am a member of your immediate family." 

Her brow knotted a moment, trying to comprehend what he was saying to her, and when it dawned on her, the flicker of light in those emerald coloured eyes, almost made him believe she was his Julia again, whole and full of wonder. "Ezra, are you proposing to me?"

"Is it so hard to believe?" 

Huxley meowed in the affirmative before Julia could respond. 

"Very droll, you over-indulged ball of fur," Ezra glared at the cat before meeting Julia's gaze. "Your silence is not helping my nerves, my dear."

"I'm trying to figure out what your exit strategy is," she managed a smile. 

"I see Huxley sense of humour is hereditary," Ezra returned and then continued. "Julia, when I thought I was never going to see you again, I had much cause to reflect on my choices and resolved if the opportunity to tell you how I feel rose again, I would not waste it. I love you, Julia, I want to marry you." 

Julia leaned forward and kissed him. "I want to marry you too Ezra, but not right now. I just need some time." 

Uncertain whether or not he should be disappointed or relieved, those were conditions he could live with. "Take all the time you need my dear," he kissed Julia's knuckle gently. "I shall not be going anywhere." 

Somehow he made it past them. 

He could feel the damp underneath his uniform, feel the raw wound under his ribs pulsing with fresh gushes of blood with every step he took. Lt. Jerry Lambert knew he couldn't go on for much longer in this condition, but he had no choice. What they intended to do was insanity, pure bugfuck crazy as a shithouse rat insanity, and if he didn't keep moving, it would come to pass. Somehow, he passed through the barricade and knew that path would be sealed now that they'd discovered how he'd escaped. 

 The icy cold wind cut through his skin, and he supposed if there was some consolation to be had in all this, he would probably die of hypothermia instead of his wounds. Running across the snowcovered glacier, he glanced over his shoulder to see if anyone had come after him. No one had. All he could see was the vague shape of Tenarus through the year-long blizzard that enclosed this world in a fist of ice. Ahead of him, the mixture of snow and wind made it difficult to see, and though he was dressed in cold-weather clothes, not even his thermal suit was going to protect him for long. 

They probably knew it too, which is why they hadn't bothered to chase him. They knew he was not going to survive for long with these injuries. It didn't matter if he died or not, as long as he got to the transmitter. If he could get to it and call for help, then it wouldn't matter if he died out here. Everyone else would be saved. Jerry could do that at least. 

It might just make up for utterly failing Callie.

Eyes closed, T'Laina allowed the music to move over her like the wave of a warm breeze. 

It was not a logical thought, she told herself silently. Yet no matter how much discipline she possessed in practising c’thia, there were some things beyond logic, even the purity of thought. She was transported to a place far beyond the stone porch of her home, or the sweet scent of Vulcan orchids and spice tea sitting on the table before her. As her fingers moved with elegant dexterity across the string of her instrument, the music took to Seleya and better days. 

Siran would tell her there was little point in looking back at what could not be changed, but then her mate did not understand the power of music as she did. Just like she was a stranger to the nuances of quantum theory and astrophysics. His was a mind of cold, hard facts that could be broken down into the binary, where for her, each chord was a revelation. During dark days where not even the solace of c'thia could salve her anguish, music had allowed her to grieve and overcome. 

The chime of the doors interrupted the flow of the music. 

T'Laina blinked as the metallic tinkling of the chimes spirited her away from the top of Seleya where she imagined she was standing. For a moment, she almost felt the hot wind dragging tiny fragments of sand across her skin or the squint in her eyes as the sun burned hot in the morning sky. Instead, she was back in her family home, sitting on the porch, surrounded by Vulcan orchids and White Stars, shielded from the sun by the shade of Induku trees. 

Getting to her feet, she rested the lute across the table and went to answer the door, aware V'Lash their housekeeper was running errands. Siran was at the Academy this morning, and so she was alone today, mildly curious as to who her visitor might be since she expected no callers. At the age of two-hundred, she wore her age well with only a few flecks of grey in her black hair, styled in a chignon and her figure, hidden behind a long silk dress of green with a high mandarin collar remained slender. 

Crossing the floor of the double-storey home in the heart of the Falina District of Shi'Kahr, T'Laina had to admit her curiosity was piqued. Since retirement, she spent most of her time here, composing new music, and sometimes wondering if retiring from the Music Academy was a mistake. Like Siran, she enjoyed the interaction with new students, finding fulfilment in nurturing their talents when they came up with new and unusual chords to add to the great orchestra of the universe. 

Reaching the door, she activated the panel next to it and waited for it to slide open. 

The first thing that registered upon T'Laina was the uniform. The people standing in front of her were undoubtedly Starfleet and her quick Vulcan mind quickly identified command red and science blue. It was when she tried to identify their race, she grasped what should have stood out first and foremost. The young man before her, with the long hair, at least by Vulcan standards and the day's growth across his face was not human. He was Vulcan. 

And he looked just like Siran. 

At least the Siran she knew when they were young, uttering their vows of bonding in the presence of family at the Temple of T'Panit. She remembered feeling the fire in her blood, slaked momentarily after the Pon Farr. Looking at this stranger, she saw Siran in the shape of his face, the colour of his hair, even the familiar chin. The only thing different was his eyes, and when she realised why, the air felt drained from the world. 

His eyes. 

T'Laina had seen those eyes in the mirror every day of her life, they were the same as her father's and her heart ached because her daughter had inherited them too. Her little khio'ri lost for almost thirty years. Logically, her mind told her what she was seeing was impossible, but her heart beating so fast in her chest, and the ancient voices of her blood demanded expression. 

"Who are you...?" 

Vin Tanner wasn't sure what he was expecting when he saw T'Laina of Vulcan for the first time. All he knew of her was she and her husband, were the only remaining family of T'Lara, Vin's biological mother. Seeing her reaction to him, made Vin realise she must recognise him and the Maverick's helm officer had to wonder how. Despite her Vulcan discipline, he could see her shock and knew even without introductions they were kin. 

"Vin," Alexandra Styles nudged him to speak because it was clear they were family. Alex only had to look at the woman to recognise those expressive blue eyes that were such a window into Vin's soul, to know they were related. "Talk to her."

"I'm sorry ma'am," Vin apologised quickly, finding the need to do so because his appearance was clearly causing her distress, Vulcan or not. "My name is Vin Tanner," Vin said slowly, trying to say the words he'd rehearsed in his head only to find now that the moment was here, none of it seemed right. "I was born Svinak. My mom was T'Lara and my father, Svianek."

Her eyes widened at that revelation, and for a few seconds, Vin was almost tempted to reach out and touch her except he knew it was terrible manners to do so without invitation. However, the lady recovered after a moment, and Vin saw her Vulcan discipline reassert itself, regaining control so understandably shattered at hearing the name of his birth parents. 

"T'Lara is dead."

It was not a question, but a statement of fact. Nevertheless, inside buried under Surak's discipline, a part of her heart died. Oh, my beautiful, sweet little khio'ri.

"Yeah," he nodded and resumed his explanation. "When I was five years old, there was an accident. The ship we were on crashed landed on a world at the edge of the quadrant. No one else but me made it. I was rescued a few days later by my..." he almost said parents but was uncertain how T'Laina would take that description and rephrased, "a human couple who raised me as their own. On our way back to Federation space, our ship crashed landed on an uninhabited planet, and we were marooned there for twelve years." 

Studying him carefully, T'Laina guessed he was past the age of Rapture and noted the woman behind him. She saw the gold band on each of their fingers and realised this was a human marriage custom. This woman was his mate. "You are both mated?" 

"Yeah," Vin looked over his shoulder at Alex and extended his hand towards her. He knew she'd been holding back to let him explain to T'Laina, but since the woman had asked the question, it was appropriate to make some introductions. "This is Alex, my wife." 

T'Laina bowed her head slightly in greeting, but it was an obligatory gesture because she had many questions at how all this could be. "Why were we not told of your existence? If my daughter had a child, you are of our blood. The authorities should have notified us as soon as you were returned to the Federation." 

"When the ship crashed, the memory banks were fried so my foster parents couldn't tell who was piloting the ship. All they knew was that craft was called the Seleya's Heart, and after I was rescued, there was no record of that ship in the registry. There was no way of tracing where I came from. My adopted family left their ranch to me on Earth, so I went there instead and got ready to join the Academy."

"Left it?" Her eyes met his. "They were not with you?"

"No," Vin shook his head and remembered thinking how unfair it was the first time he saw the ranch, that his ma and pa weren't with him to show him the place. "They died on the planet five years before I was rescued." 

T'Laina's mind whirled, her Vulcan mind making leaps of intuition as he told his tale. "You were alone?" 

"I managed," Vin shrugged because only he knew how terrified he’d been, fearing he’d spend his entire life on that savage world alone.

T'Laina felt a fresh surge of anger and once again, used c’thia to calm herself before the cruelty of it slipped through her controls. All this time, she and Siran mourned for their daughter, without ever saying it out loud to each other she was dead, even if logic dictated T'Lara's fate could be nothing else. Now she discovered, not only had T'Lara died, but she had borne a child they knew nothing about. A child who suffered alone, disconnected from his people when she and Siran would have given anything to have found him. 

"I didn't come here to upset you,' Vin explained. "I know I'm not what you'd expect your kin to be, but I thought you ought to at least know what happened to your daughter. " 

"I have no expectations of you because I did not know you existed," T'Laina stated, puzzled by his self-deprecating tone. She supposed being raised human, without any knowledge of their ways, he had no choice but to be what he was. Clearly, he was not a Vulcan who practised c'thia, but he had obviously endured to build a life for himself. "It suits me well to know you simply exist." 

"I didn't want to be an embarrassment to you or your family," Vin dropped his gaze to the ground in front of him. "I'm never gonna be Vulcan. I've been raised human and I ain't ashamed of that." 

"Vin," Alex countered immediately, not at all liking the idea he thought himself an embarrassment to anyone. "You've got nothing to feel ashamed about, you're just different." 

T'Laina supposed since he knew nothing of their ways, he might believe other Vulcans would find him an affront to their philosophy of c'thia. But Surak did not just teach them how to control their emotions, he taught them that the universe was one of infinite diversity and infinite combination. How could they reject this young man at his ignorance of one aspect of Surak's teaching, while everything he was embodied another? 

"Please come in," she gestured to them to follow her into the house since this entire encounter was still being conducted at the front doorstep. 

Vin exchanged a glance with Alex, before leading her into the house behind T'Laina, his grandmother. Christ, that felt odd to say. After losing his foster family, all Vin ever wanted was to belong somewhere and Fate had been kind enough to let him find his place on the Maverick, with people who were as close as any blood relative and a mate to share his life with. Until meeting Svinak, he never imagined there could be more. 

Once inside the house and the doors slid closed behind them, T'Laina turned back to him. 

"May I?" 

At first, Vin didn't understand what she wanted of him when she took a step closer until she was inches away from his face. Then it dawned on him what she intended was to form a telepathic link. Vin almost retreated until he realised she probably wanted to verify his story, to ensure he wasn't lying. After all, by his own admission, he was raised human, and humans lied. Although stung by her doubt, he understood it was vital for her to know the truth. 

"Vin are you sure?" Alex asked when she realised what the woman was about to do. Vin was never comfortable with melding with anyone and the few times he'd done it had been purely out of dire need. 

"It’s alright," he nodded and tensed as he saw T'Laina placing her long slender fingers against his cheekbone and temple. Her fingertips felt cool, and he stared into her eyes, once again struck by how much like his they were. 

"My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts." 

Closing his eyes, he felt the warmth of her mind invading his thoughts, exploring his memories. It wasn't unpleasant at all, the sensation reminded him of how his foster mother would stroke his brow when he was tiny and frightened. How her touch and her soft voice, whispering in his ear made him feel safe and secure like nothing would harm him under her watch. 

Closing his eyes, he saw the memories T'Laina touched and felt her empathy in his moments of sorrow. The death of his foster family, his father first and then his mother. The anguish of being alone, of returning to Earth only to find no one wanted him. His isolation at the Academy when classmates had no idea what to make of him because he was neither Vulcan nor human, but a puzzle trapped in the limbo between.

T'Laina wept at his loneliness and wished more than anything, she and Siran had known this boy lived because no child should ever feel unloved, especially one belonging to her daughter. It pleased her to know he had found peace, shared his joy at the discovery of friendship and love on the Maverick. She saw the Captain who would do anything for his best friend, the comrades who considered him blood, and the woman who almost died to save him during the plak-tow, the blood fever. 

But there was one memory she needed to see before it was all said and done. 

Thanks to her training, she knew how to stimulate memories long buried, forgotten by time and trauma. What mental shields he possessed was no better than a child's even though both her family and Siran's were strong adepts and he would have inherited that power, even if he was untrained. Carefully, she manipulated the neurological strands and surfaced a memory of T'Lara and Svianek. 

She called me her little khio'ri. 

Yes, Vin heard T'Laina's voice in his mind. Because she was mine. 

And though the words were not spoken and never would be because it was not the Vulcan way to do so, Vin sensed her thoughts through their connection. What he felt was her joy and her gratitude to the universe for giving her the gift of him. It was happiness so great, he could hear music. For a few seconds, Vin could do nothing but marvel at the utter beauty of the song, and through that beautiful arrangement, she spoke to him and everything Vin feared about this meeting, vanished with every chord played in her mind. 

You have come home to us little khio'ri. You have come home. 

“What’s this meant to be?”

Chris Larabee stared at the concoction of green swirling in his cup, with sprinkles of what might have been finely chopped leaves, exuding a smell that while pleasant, was NOT the Jamaican blend coffee he was accustomed to receiving with his breakfast each morning.

Every morning since becoming master of the Maverick, he would come to his Ready Room to begin the day’s work, to find a light breakfast of eggs and toast, with a cup of his favourite Jamaican blend waiting for him. As his Yeoman, Casey felt it her responsibility to ensure her duties to her captain didn’t just involve administration but also extended to his well-being. At first, Chris had thought it was presumptuous of her to assume he couldn’t get his own breakfast, but as time went by, he rather appreciated the gesture.

Eventually, it became the pleasant start to the morning Chris needed to help him deal with whatever calamity the day might bring. 

Since Casey left the ship for Bajor, Chris had been forced to appoint another yeoman to avoid being buried in paperwork and hoped the Benzite named Arlok would serve him as well as Casey had done. However, staring at the breakfast before him, Chris knew that was always a slim hope because instead of his usual breakfast, he was staring into the depths of a green swirl, accompanying what looked like the most unappetising omelette in the known universe. 

Arlok had come on board the Maverick when they last put to Earth, and although Chris was familiar with Benzites in general, Arlok had also been the only one to volunteer for the job as his Yeoman. Chris didn’t know whether he ought to be concerned no other junior officer wanted the position and had to wonder if he had a reputation for being difficult, a question none of the Senior staff would answer when he put the question to them. 

Ah, what did they know? He was a great boss. 

“It is Tarkalian tea, served with a vegetable omelette,” Arlok answered as a matter of factly, sensing nothing in the Captain’s manner to give him caution as he continued speaking. “I accessed your medical records, and it appeared under Doctor Jackson’s recommendation, you required a little more fibre in your diet to avoid cons......”

“Accessed my medical records?” Chris stared at the Yeoman in open-mouthed shock, horror quickly turning into outrage. 

“Why yes,” Arlok stared at him, his brow furrowing in confusion at the rising octave in the Captain’s tone. “According to Yeoman Wells’s notes, this position requires taking care of the Captain’s needs, and that includes your physical condition.” 

“My physical condition,” Chris started to sputter, “is just fine...”

At that moment the door slid open, and whether or not Yeoman Arlok knew it, he’d been rescued from a keelhauling when Counsellor Josiah Sanchez entered the room, carrying a mug of something with aroma far more pleasing than the swill before Chris. 

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting?” 

“Actually,” Arlok reached for the datapad in his hand. “You do not have an appointment and the Captain has a busy day ahead of him.”

Chris shot Josiah a look threatening murder. 

“This is a medical emergency,” Josiah replied promptly, recognising the Captain of the Maverick about to reach critical mass. “If you don’t mind?” He gave Arlok one of his most intense stares which penetrated even Arlok’s lack of familiarity regarding human behaviour. 

“Of course,” Arlok nodded and turned to the Captain. “I shall be back later when you have finished your breakfast so we can begin work on those reports for the Temporal Investigations Department. You still have to fill out Form 67189- A, 1885-ER and PRTA 9183.”

“He’ll be waiting with bated breath,” Josiah waved Arlok out of the room. “If you please, Yeoman? This conversation needs to be conducted in private.” 

“Certainly Counsellor,” Arlok replied and stepped out of the Ready Room in a matter of seconds leaving the two men alone. 

“I am going to kill him,” Chris said flatly. 

“That’s the kind of thing that makes me want to scribble in my psychiatrist’s pad,” Josiah took the chair in front of Chris’s desk, making a face when he saw what was in front of the Captain instead of his usual breakfast order. 

“Why can’t I get a decent Yeoman,” Chris threw up his hands as he got up and went to the replicator to make his own damn cup of coffee. “How did that guy end up being the only one who wanted the job?”

Josiah rolled his eyes “because the others are terrified of you?”

“Of me?” Chris stared at Josiah, “I’m perfectly pleasant.” 

Josiah was in mid-sip when that statement rang in his ears and promptly started coughing. When he lowered his cup, he replied in an entirely neutral voice. “Of course you are.” 

“Casey didn't have a problem with me.” 

‘She’s Bajoran, they're used to suffering.” Josiah joked and earned himself a scowl from Chris who came back to his desk with his coffee. 

“So, what's this medical emergency?” Chris asked, sitting down at his desk, pushing away the tray and deciding a definite change of subject was in order. 

“Buck.” 

Chris let out a sigh and for once could not disagree with Josiah. His presence difficulties with Arlok wholly forgotten, the Captain eased back into his chair. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.” 

“I don’t know whether it was a good idea for him to take the second seat so soon.”

“Me neither,” Chris admitted. “He’s trying to downplay how badly it’s affected him, but I know he’s not sleeping. He’s been turning up on the bridge during the night shift. JD hasn’t said anything, but I’ve been keeping an eye on him, so I know it’s happened on at least five separate occasions.” 

“Disrupted sleep is something all the assimilated crew are experiencing,” Josiah explained. “But with Buck, it’s deeper. He was leading the other drones from the moment they left the ship in the Corrizo. The Collective used his knowledge to get as far as they did on Vulcan and on the Maverick. While he knows logically it’s not his fault, he still feels the guilt. Not only that, but the reclaimed drones don’t have the luxury of forgetting so every face he’s taken, every life that was lost, he’s feeling it.”

Chris guessed as much. His friendship with Buck allowed him to read his old friend with surprising empathy, and despite Buck’s attempt to shrug off what happened to him, Chris knew he was wounded inside. Aside from offering to be there for Buck, Chris didn’t know what else to do.

“I can’t take him off active duty Josiah,” Chris stated, hoping that’s not why Josiah was here because the last time they had this similar discussion, neither had walked away happy. 

“I’m not asking you to do that. I think you’re right like before with Alex, Buck needs to be here. I just wanted you to be aware of the problem. I’ll keep chipping away at those defences he’s erected to hide what’s happened to him, but when that wall comes down, you might need to let him go if he asks to leave.”

“If he asks,” Chris agreed. “I’ll let him do what he needs to, but not before.”

Chris had promised not to give up on Buck, he intended on keeping that promise. 

*khio'ri - star

Inez Recillos wished she knew what to do. 

When Buck appeared at her quarters for breakfast that morning, she could tell just by the dark circles under his eyes, he had another sleepless night. Since his return to the Maverick, Inez tried to be there for him, aware the trauma of assimilation had left its mark and was sympathetic to his increasingly detached behaviour. Those blue eyes that often gave her such insight into the man, beyond his notorious womanising reputation, showed her just how traumatised Buck Wilmington was, despite his words to the contrary. 

Inez's heart broke for him because now more than ever, she wanted to hear him laugh when he was rebuffed after making a shameful attempt at a come-on, or display the wry sense of humour that could always be counted on to diffuse tension. The void he left by his presence was felt most acutely during his assimilation. In times of crisis when the Captain was busy, it was to Buck they turned to for assurance that all would be well. He was just as vital to the mental health of the Maverick as Josiah. When he was returned to the Maverick after assimilation, Inez, with the rest of the crew, breathed a sigh of relief. 

Except now, Inez knew he was far from free of the Collective. 

As a civilian, she knew little of the Borg, only that they were the terrible enemy with the power to shake the courage of even the most seasoned Starfleet officers. She'd barely given them a second thought when she was engaged to Raphael Castille. Raphael was the Captain of the Intrepid on the front lines of the Dominion War. What she feared most was his death at the hands of the fearsome Jem'Hadar. A fear realised when he died at the Battle of Cardassia Prime. The Borg were the boogeymen in the background, emerging once or twice to bedevil them. 

After Buck's assimilation, Inez became a quick study. 

Having spoken to Josiah while Buck was still in Sick Bay, Inez learned freedom from the Borg was more than just the disconnection from its hive mind, and the removal of the grotesque prosthetics and implants. All the survivors, from Jean-Luc Picard to the more recent experience of the young woman called Seven of Nine, it was freeing oneself from a hell where free will was trapped, with just enough awareness left for torment. She couldn't even begin to imagine what it must have been like for Buck, whose best characteristic was his ability to instinctively know what people needed and being that for them. Now when she looked into his eyes, she knew he was haunted by the faces of everyone he harmed as Borg. 

Even worse, there was something lurking beneath that guilt, something she couldn't quite grasp, but suspected was the true cause of his inability to sleep. 

Sitting across each other at the small dining table in her quarters, they'd resumed their ritual of breakfast before he went to start his morning, except now he was usually coming off the nightshift because of his insomnia. They used to have lively chats about how they were going to spend their day but since his return, the breakfasts were quiet affairs where she did most of the talking. Today was no exception. 

Even Aislyn, the Selurian Minx cat Buck rescued following one of the Maverick's earliest Away missions, noticed the difference. Inez had kept the furry, golden feline in her care since Buck was assimilated, aware he would not like the creature to be alone. She had to admit, Aislynn had been a great comfort to her and like her master, seemed to know exactly when she needed comforting. The cat weaved in between Buck's legs, rubbing her gorgeous pelt against his calf, reminding him she was there and also to soothe him in her own way. 

"She missed you," Inez pointed out as they ate a breakfast of Belgian waffles, with Inez trying to ignore he was just picking at his food. "Maybe it's time to move her back to your quarters?"

Buck leaned down and swept up Aislynn with one hand, pushing back from the table so she could sit comfortably on his lap while he ran his palm across her soft fur. To him, Aislynn would never really be an animal. She would be that timid sixteen-year-old girl from the Leonov, who surrendered her humanity to save his life and became trapped in the skin of a cat. He promised he would always look after her and no matter what, he would die before breaking that promise. 

And it would be nice to have her company during those hours where sleep eluded him. 

"Yeah," Buck agreed, smiling at Aislynn affectionately, "I think it's time you came home too. What do you think, girl?"

Aislynn purred her agreement, her blue eyes fixed on Buck. Even if she was incapable of speech, Buck knew Aislynn understood everything being said to her.

"You look tired," Inez said after a moment, unable to ignore the state of him any longer. He wasn't sleeping, and by the looks of it, not eating either. She hated being the kind of girlfriend (if that was what they were since no formal discussion had been made on this point), who nagged their partners but Inez was growing increasingly worried about him. 

"Just a busy night Darlin'," Buck shrugged it off, continuing to stroke Aislynn's back. "I've been fighting off all those ladies who are just so excited to have me back. I guess they haven't heard I'm spoken for these days. You know how they can be." He flashed her a grin, but even Inez could see it didn't reach his eyes. 

"Buck," she reached for his hand, "you know I'm here for you if you need me. It doesn't matter what time it is. You can call me if you need to talk about why you can't sleep." 

Inez winced inwardly, knowing it was a mistake the second she made the offer.

Buck withdrew his hand, and his expression became hard. Inez could see the walls being erected even as he lowered Aislynn to the floor and straightened up again. "I sleep just fine, Inez."

"Do you really?" She insisted, refusing to let it go because she was convinced he needed to talk to someone about this. Inez knew not from JD, but from the chatter she'd overheard at Four Corners, the First Officer had been turning up on the bridge at odd hours of the night. The Maverick was a ship of a thousand people, and like any small community, gossip travelled fast. 

"I'm fine Inez," he got to his feet, uncomfortable at her questioning because he wasn't ready to admit he was going through his life terrified. Buck took a deep breath and blinked slowly, coming to a decision he knew was the best thing for both of them right now, even if a small voice in the back of his head was telling him he was a goddamn coward. 

"Look, I think it might be a good idea if we gave each other a little space right now."

"Buck," Inez stared at him, unable to believe where that one question had led. "I'm just worried about you. I'm not trying to be unkind, I know you're going through something I can't understand, and I want to help you. Don't shut me out, please." 

"Goddamn it Inez," Buck snapped, feeling a surge of anger at her not letting this go. "I want a little damn space, alright? I mean, come on," he stepped away from the table. "Christ, you made me wait long enough, can't you do the same?"

The words stung and Inez swallowed the lump in her throat, telling herself repeatedly this was the trauma talking, not Buck. She'd seen the look in his eyes, she knew he loved her. Everything he'd done since Buck realised she was within his reach proved it. His womanising ways had stopped, and while he was still a shameless flirt, Inez knew none of it should worry her. When he committed to someone he loved, he did not do so half-heartedly.

"Alright," she nodded, not wanting to push him any further because if this was how extreme he reacted to what she thought was a rather gentle prod, Inez dreaded to see what he would do if he was really provoked. "I'll give you all the space you need Buck," she hid the emotion threatening to flood her eyes with tears, "but I won't stop caring for you. When you're ready. I'll be here." 

Buck didn't trust himself to answer because he knew he'd hurt her. Hating himself, he started towards the door, refusing to look at her because if he did, he might cave and Buck had come to the decision this was for the best. She was better off without him. Let a little time pass, and she'd probably agree with him. 

"Look, I've got to get to the bridge. I'll come by later to get Aislynn. Thanks for looking after her." 

"Whatever you feel is best," Inez said watching him leave and knew the dam behind her eyes would burst the instant he left. Yet she knew she had to let him go, trying to keep him would only make him fight harder to escape her and Inez didn't want to put Buck through that right now. She knew this was an excuse to avoid the problems plaguing him, and once he recovered, if he recovered, she thought involuntarily, he would come back to her. 

She just had to be patient.

Buck walked through the doors, not looking behind him and didn't stop walking until he was at the end of the corridor. When he did stop, he drew in a deep breath and knew what he had done was right, as painful as it was. His head was a mess of implants and Borg programming Buck couldn't quite shake, even though Nathan said all of it was gone. He could feel it in his head, squirrelling beneath the skin, waiting to take him back to the prison where he could see but not affect. 

It was best Inez be nowhere near him when that happened.

“So how did it go?” 

Chris Larabee asked Vin Tanner from his command chair, in a much happier mood after savouring the cup of Jamaican blend coffee Casey thankfully left programmed in his replicator. Most of the Senior Staff was present, except for Buck and JD. The kid was getting some rest after the night shift, and Buck was due to come on duty shortly. Even Mary was back on the bridge, busily studying her datapad, engrossed on the material she was scrolling through.

Vin spun around in his chair, looking away from helm control where he was running a diagnostic, to face Chris and noted Ezra had looked up in interest as well. He didn’t mind Ezra’s curiosity since it was the Security Chief who helped him track down his family on Vulcan after their return from the alternate universe.

“It went good,” Vin couldn’t help but share a smile with Alex who was at her customary station next to Ezra who occupied Tactical. “My grandpa didn’t say much, but I get the impression they were just happy to know what happened to my ma and the fact they’ve got kin. It seems my ma was their only child.”

Most of the Senior Staff were aware Vin and Alex had gone to Vulcan the day before to meet his biological grandparents. They were burning with curiosity with how the encounter went, given Vin’s reservations at how he would be received due to his human upbringing. Chris always thought Vin was selling his people short, even though he understood why. Vin was very much ostracised at the Academy, with the younger Vulcan cadets uncertain what to make of him. Even if he was one of their own, he possessed no knowledge of their ways. The experience cemented Vin’s view he was an affront to all Vulcans, when really Chris suspected, they had no idea how to treat him. 

After Sarah and Adam’s death, Captain Savil’s empathy saved his career. It was Savil who sent Buck to save him from himself when Chris was ready to throw his whole life away in grief. Hell, it was Savil who approved Vin’s transfer to the Rutherford and instructed Chris to keep a close eye on the Vulcan when he came on board. Chris suspected Savil had read Vin’s Starfleet jacket and recognised a lost soul needing to belong somewhere, and giving him a spot on the Rutherford would help him do that. 

“I”m so happy to hear that Vin,” Mary lowered her datapad and smiled at him. “Despite their emotional control, family is everything in Vulcan culture. Even if they didn’t show it, I’m sure learning they have a grandson would have meant the world to them. Trust me, I know.” 

Something in the timbre of her voice made Chris shoot her a look and knew immediately, her own visit to Syan’s relatives may not have ended as amiably as Vin’s encounter with his long-lost family. Mary had taken Billy to visit them while Vin was on the surface and wondered if they were at her to raise Billy like a proper Vulcan again. Chris hated to think of the child who enjoyed going fishing, learning how to skip pebbles and crushing on Lt. Rain, being buried under all that Vulcan discipline. He made a mental note to ask her about it later. 

“Oh, T’Laina was happy,” Alex added. “I mean she was perfectly Vulcan, but I could tell she was delighted. “ 

“And what of your grandfather?” Ezra chimed in, “how did he take the news of your existence?”

Vin fell silent for a moment, thinking of Siran, who looked so much like him, it was jarring. It was strange catching a glimpse of what he might look like in the future. The Vulcan academic had been standoffish at first, but Vin was fast learning how Vulcans showed their approval. Before he and Alex returned to the Maverick, Siran had touched his shoulder briefly. From that contact, Vin realised his grandfather was not only pleased he had entered their lives but was grateful for the joy it brought his wife, who still pined secretly for their lost daughter. 

“Well, he used the words satisfactory, adequate and said it was only logical me and Alex ought to stay with them the next time we came to Vulcan, and maybe visit us at the ranch the next time we were on Earth. Vin couldn’t help but grin at that, trying to imagine the regal couple at the property in Texas. 

“Yes,” Alex couldn’t help but share Vin’s smile, “Siran believes it could be...fascinating.” 

“Which in Vulcan terms,” Mary translated, “means they want to get to know you better.” 

“That’s for sure,” Chris agreed, glad it had gone so well because Vin’s self-esteem was finally in a good place. He would hate for it to take a step backward after all the progress his best friend had made since coming on board the Maverick.

“That is good to hear Vin. I would hate to think my efforts on your behalf was for nothing.” Ezra said with a little smirk. Secretly, Ezra was gratified it went so well for the young Vulcan. While Ezra offered no opinion on what should be Vin’s decision alone to make when he was conducting his investigation on Vin’s behalf, he was pleased Vin chose to take the chance and meet them. “So will you be seeing them again?”

“The next time we come this way, yeah,” Vin nodded. “It still feels strange knowing I got blood kin, after so many years.”

Chris was about to answer when the turbo lift doors slid open, and Buck made his entrance onto the deck. Letting his gaze linger on the First Officer’s approach, Chris had to admit the novelty of seeing Buck back on the bridge again had yet to wear off. Remembering what it had been like to face the Borg Buck had been, preparing to take the Maverick, Chris would never tire of being grateful for Buck’s continued presence in his life. 

“Hey Buck,” Chris greeted, choosing to remain silent about the night shift unless Buck brought it up first. “How was your breakfast with Inez?” 

Buck stiffened ever so slightly, but it was enough for Chris to catch it. 

“Fine,” Buck said, taking his place in the First Officer’s seat. “Same old, same old. She’s begging me to stay, and I’m telling her I have to get to the bridge so I can find you a Yeoman before Arlok decides to space himself.” 

Chris didn’t believe Buck for a second and judging by the expression on Alex’s face, neither did she. More than anyone on this ship, save Julia Pemberton, Alex Styles understood trauma and knew all the tricks used to hide it. Once again, Josiah’s warning about Buck’s nocturnal troubles surfaced in Chris’s mind, but this was not the time for that discussion. 

“Very funny,” Chris gave Buck a look. “It cannot be that hard to find me a replacement for Casey. Another week with Arlok and he won’t have to space himself, I’ll happily do it for him.” 

“Nice,” Buck frowned. “I’ll take a look at the personnel files again today, see if we can’t find another nice sweet Bajoran who can put up with you.” 

“Put up with me?” Chris stared at Buck. “What am I, a Klingon Targ?” 

“No offence Chris,” the First Officer shrugged, “you can be a little ornery.” 

“Me, ornery? I’m not ornery!” Chris protested and then noticed all his senior staff, found reasons not to meet his gaze.

Alex was suddenly scrutinising her screen, Ezra was preoccupied with brushing something off the sleeve of his jacket and Vin had abruptly returned his attention back to the diagnostic he was running. Buck tilted his head past Chris, meeting Mary’s eyes and heard the Protocol Officer sigh at the realisation she was the one who was going to have to answer Chris. She was probably the only person on board, who could tell Chris the truth without ending up in the brig. 

“Chris,” Mary gave him a look of affection. “You can be a little intimidating.” 

“Oh come on!” Chris balked. 

“Captain,” Ezra cleared his throat. “You are aware that there is a standing joke that the Larabee glare has been rumoured to incinerate enemies on the spot, and possibly some crewmen.” 

“The Larabee glare?” 

A snort from directly ahead gave away Vin’s efforts not to laugh, with Buck trying to suppress a grin, while Mary rolled her eyes wondering why she bothered with these men at all. Fortunately, before Chris could further express his outrage, a light chirp from somewhere across the bridge indicated the presence of an incoming message. 

“Oh, thank God,” she muttered under her breath. 

“Captain,” Alex spoke up, having taken up JD’s communication duties while the young lieutenant was off the bridge. “We’ve got an incoming message from Captain Krista at DS5.” 

The mood on the bridge immediately shifted from its light banter to Starfleet professionalism as everyone turned to the view screen in anticipation of Chris’s order. 

“Put it through,” the Captain exchanged a look of puzzlement with Buck. The Maverick was a long way from Deep Space Five and Lysia, and if Captain Krista needed help, there had to be starships in closer proximity than the Maverick. 

The attractive features of the Illidarian Captain appeared across the screen a second later. Captain Krista, like the rest of her species, possessed almost translucent blue skin, with beautiful markings against her temples, an indication of caste. She always made Chris think of those lovely blown glass figurines, favoured by little old ladies everywhere. At the sight of the Maverick’s bridge, Krista broke into a warm smile, having become familiar with every member of the Senior Staff since the Maverick began making regular stops at DS5. 

 Krista,” Chris greeted pleasantly. “This is a surprise, is everything alright at DS5?”

“Hello Chris,” Krista returned just as warmly. “Yes, everything is fine. I just wanted to catch the Maverick before you left Vulcan and headed back our way.”

“Well we weren’t planning on making an extended stop,” he explained. “Did you need something? “

“Yes,” she nodded, “I was wondering if you could make a slight detour to Arloff IV. I know it’s a little bit off your course back to the frontier, but a civilian transport on route from Gamma Hydrae detected what appeared to be a distress signal from the planet. By the time the ship arrived in orbit, the signal was gone, but it definitely originated from there.” 

“Arloff IV,” Chris mused, thinking the name sounded familiar as he glanced at Alex when it came to him. “Isn’t there a medical facility of some kind over there?”

Alex, who pulled up the information from the ship’s computer, gave him a more accurate answer. “Yes Captain., The Tenarus Research Asylum is located there.” 

“Asylum?” Ezra’s brow furrowed, not liking the whole concept of such places in general. “Pray to tell why is a facility for mental health located in such a distance locale?”

“Because the research being conducted there is for the treatment of the criminally insane,” Alex explained. 

“That’s right, Chris,” Krista declared, revealing why she contacted the Maverick. “When Captain Okona of the Erstwhile contacted the facility, the director claimed nothing was wrong, and they sent no transmission. I know Captain Okona, he’s not prone to getting exaggeration. He’s convinced the signal came from Arloff. Considering the nature of its occupants, I think this is worth further investigation.” 

“Captain,” Ezra spoke up, “it bears looking into. If the inmates have somehow overcome the asylum staff, it may be why they are denying a transmission was sent at all.” 

“Especially if someone escaped long enough to get one out,” Buck added. 

Both good points, Chris thought silently before he faced Krista. “Leave this with the Maverick Krista, we’ll check it out.” 

“Thank you, Chris,” Krista smiled gratefully. “Keep us informed on what you learned. DS5 out.” 

Once Krista’s image vanished from the screen, Chris turned to Buck. “Alright, I guess shore leave is over.” 

“Captain’s Log - Stardate 2378.292.

We have left orbit of Vulcan and are presently on route to Arloff IV, on Captain Krista’s behalf to investigate further the source of the message received by the civilian ship Erstwhile. At present course and speed, we should be arriving at Tenarus Research Asylum in less than five hours. I am convening a senior staff meeting to determine how to best approach the situation at the facility if there is one. If some misadventure has occurred involving the inmates, our main priority will be the safe removal of the medical staff.” 

Chris Larabee surveyed the faces surrounding the oval table of dark glass in the Conference Room. After recent events, he felt a surge of satisfaction seeing his senior staff together again. Both Julia and Buck were in their customary positions, and while Chris knew they were a long way from being fully recovered, it was a journey they would take surrounded by their friends on board the Maverick. For this meeting, Josiah and Nathan were present as was JD, who looked refreshed after a few hours of well-earned sleep. 

“So, what do we know?”

The question was directed at Alex, who immediately activated the view screen to begin her report. Since the Captain called for this meeting shortly after the ship left Vulcan orbit, Alex collated all the available information on their impending destination. The screen flashed an external image of the facility, which appeared taken from above the planet’s surface. The main structure was almost a perfect dark square pressed into a snow-white glacial plain. Surrounding it were smaller structures, appearing as little more than tiny, round dots in worship around their larger counterpart. Framing the facility, were formations they all knew to be mountains. 

“According to the Central Bureau of Penology in Stockholm, the Tenarus Research Asylum located on Arloff IV or Tenarus, is named after the cavern in which Hercules found Cerberus in Greek mythology. The planet is mostly uninhabited, except for the native fauna, which includes several predators closely related to the mugatos of Neural, herds of wild orus, or antelopes by our definition, and an assortment of small burrowing mammals. The surface temperature of the planet is recorded at -60 degrees celsius on average and can drop as low as 90 during their storm season.” 

“A fitting name,” Ezra said distastefully. Still, he understood the advantage of housing the criminally insane in such an inhospitable environment. It made escape extremely unlikely.

“Aside from the asylum and one communication relay station located here,” the screen shifted to reveal a smaller structure half protruding from the incline of a high mountain peak, “there is no other civilization there.” 

“Relay station?” Buck asked, “if the asylum is claiming they didn’t send a message, could it have come from there?” 

“I would say so,” Julia spoke up for the first time and as all eyes turned to her, a slight tinge of colour flooded her cheeks. It was the first senior staff meeting Julia had attended since her assimilation and judging by the tone of her voice, devoid of its usual upbeat spirit, she was still finding her feet. “The positioning of the relay and its distance from the facility tells me that it’s a backup station. In case of any malfunction at the asylum.” 

“Makes sense,” Ezra added his voice to her comment in a show of support. “In the event of the asylum becoming compromised, this may be the only way for its staff to seek help.” 

“Agreed,” Chris nodded and turned to Alex. “Please continue.” 

“Tenarus was built more than twenty-five years ago, and unlike its predecessors, this facility was built solely to rehabilitate the criminally insane. It’s not a repurposed prison, like the penal settlements on New Zealand, Tantalus, Jarus and Elba II, which was built to incarcerate the most incorrigible criminals until the movement for rehabilitation was spearheaded by Doctor Tristan Adams in 2266.”

“Hmmph.” 

The involuntary snort came from the direction of Josiah Sanchez, prompting Nathan Jackson to cover his face with his hand, presumably to hide the slight smile produced by the Counsellor’s reaction.

“Something to add Josiah?” Chris glanced at the older man and hid his own amusement at seeing the normally serene counsellor’s feathers ruffled. 

“Not really,” Josiah shrugged, feeling a little embarrassed by allowing his contempt to show. “My thoughts on Doctor Adams’s methods aren’t stellar.”

Both Josiah and Nathan were familiar with Dr Tristan Adams, recalling the physician’s contribution to the modern-day rehabilitation of the criminal mind. Unfortunately, the excellent work Adams began was overshadowed by the incident leading to his ultimate downfall. Since then, what became known as the ‘Tantalus Incident’ was required reading for every student of psychiatry as a cautionary tale in hubris. 

“How so?” Mary asked somewhat intrigued, aware they were going off-topic a little but the Captain opened the door. 

“There really isn’t much to tell,” Josiah sat up straighter and offered Alex an apologetic look for usurping her briefing, only to be given a smile he had nothing to be sorry for. “Doctor Tristan Adams pioneered the transformation of prisons into rehabilitation centres. Thanks to the advances in medicine and biochemistry, we gained access to technology that allowed us to fully chart the brain, giving us a better understanding of how it functions. Thanks to his recommendations, we now conduct psychological screening during an individual’s early development, enabling us to diagnose and treat any kind of aberrant behavioural issues before it manifests into abnormality. It’s not a hundred per cent of course, but it is now the basis for all our treatment for the criminally insane.” 

“If I am not mistaken, did not Doctor Adams take his theories to the extreme?” Ezra asked. 

“Unfortunately, yes,” Josiah frowned. “He was in charge of the Tantalus colony, and being so far from the core worlds, he conducted behavioural modification treatments that were no better than mind-control. It’s why I’m not an advocate of these kinds of facilities, established so far away from society. Even with the best intentions, there’s always the possibility of abuse when allowed to operate without oversight.” 

“You think something like that could have happened here?” Vin asked. 

“I have no idea,” Josiah answered truthfully. 

Aware that Alex had yet to conclude her report, Buck gestured at the Science Officer to resume conscious Chris’s reflective expression meant the Captain was taking in all viewpoints into consideration. 

“As I said, the facility was built twenty-five years ago and has been heavily involved in the research of abnormal xeno-psychology for most of that time, as well as acting as a rehabilitation colony. At present, there are 219 patients and seventy staff, including guards. The asylum is fully enclosed in a Level 1 penal forcefield, capable of withstanding phaser bombardment from orbit, and can only be lowered from inside the structure. To date, there have been no escapes from Tenarus.” 

“No wonder,” Vin stated. “Even if you got past the force field, you’d freeze as soon as you hit the ice.” 

“Pretty much,” Alex gave him a little smile. “Captain, the facility is currently under the authority of Doctor Paracelsus. He took over the asylum six months ago.” 

Josiah sat up straighter. “Gabriel Paracelsus?” 

Chris eyed Josiah. “You know him?” 

“A long time ago,” Josiah admitted, remembering a rather sombre young man, who was sometimes too introspective for his own good. “We knew each other at Starfleet Medical, but that was years ago. I’m afraid any impressions I have of him are out of date.” 

“It might be worth having Josiah make contact when we get there Chris,” Buck suggested. “Friendly face and all. He might be more inclined to talk to another doctor than to us.” 

“I agree, Chris,” Mary added. “This is still a civilian facility, not Starfleet. They may not appreciate a starship knocking at their door, especially if they’re claiming nothing is wrong. We should be mindful of how we approach them. Right now, we’re here based on one message whose origins we can’t determine other than the fact it came from the planet.” 

“Mary’s right,” Chris agreed with her assertion, even though he fully intended to investigate, remembering Josiah’s words about such places having little oversight. Out on the edge of the Federation, it was easy for someone to take advantage of that isolation for their own ends. “They’ve got a force field surrounding the facility. If we go in there guns blazing, they might not even let us in. I’d prefer we play nice and convince them to let us take a look around.” 

“In that case,” Buck spoke up, “Chris I say we make this look as casual as possible like we’re just coming for a visit. Josiah, we can play up your connection to Paracelsus, say you were in the area and wanted to take a look at the place. Nathan, you come too and Mary.” 

Chris didn’t like the idea of sending Mary down there at all but was aware he’d catch nine colours of hell if he said anything in protest. Reminding himself, in this room, she was just another officer, Chris found Buck’s plan sound. “It’s a good idea.” 

“Captain,” Ezra frowned, not liking the idea of any member of the Maverick walking into a potentially dangerous situation without help. “With all due respect to Commander Wilmington, if anything goes wrong while the Away Team is on the surface, we will be unable to help them due to the force field. I would like to accompany the Away Team, if only under the pretext of inspecting their security and communication systems. “

“I can help, Sir,” JD spoke up enthusiastically, more than eager to participate in any Away mission, especially at Buck’s side. “I mean they wouldn’t have access to Starfleet trained technicians. I can tell them I’m running a diagnostic of their comm systems, maybe put in a couple of improvements to keep them from having stray messages get out like this again.” 

“Sneaky,” Buck grinned at the younger officer. “What do you think, Chris?” 

“Sounds like a plan,” Chris nodded in approval. “Let’s get this do.” 

After the meeting had concluded and before Buck could leave the room, Chris called out to his First Officer and best friend to remain. Chris hadn’t missed the slight hesitation in Buck’s eyes when he’d asked about Inez earlier and suspected more than just breakfast had taken place this morning. While Inez had said nothing to Chris about Buck’s behaviour, the few conversations he’d had with the lady in passing did give the Captain of the Maverick the impression Buck’s state of mind was very much on hers. 

“What do you think is going on down there, Buck?” Chris asked casually as the two men remained seated after everyone had left the room. 

“I’m not sure,” Buck leaned back into his chair. “I mean on the face of it, it doesn’t sound like anything to worry about, but we both know Krista, she’s no alarmist.” 

“True,” Chris agreed. “I mean if I had a strange message coming from the planet where I’m the only occupant, I’d want to get to the bottom of it. Seems to me Tenarus was just a little too dismissive for my liking.” 

“Yeah, then again. It could really be nothing.” 

“It could be that too,” Chris was forced to concede the point and waited a moment before he spoke again. “How are you doing? You okay?”

Buck’s gaze was fixed on his reflection on the glass table, but the question made him look up immediately. “I’m fine, why do you ask?”

“Just concerned,” Chris shrugged. “This is going to be your first Away Mission since...,” he didn’t have to finish the sentence. 

“I’m fine,” Buck stated a little more forcefully than he intended, and then realized he sounded defensive. “Really, Chris,” he said after a moment. “I’m okay. I’m just working through things.” 

“And everything okay with Inez?” Chris probed, not believing it for a second Buck was as well-adjusted as he claimed. Chris could tell by the periods of silence Buck lapsed into these days, his mind was going somewhere decidedly unpleasant. Of course, any effort to get the man talking was dismissed by his usual bravado and swagger. 

Buck bristled, and Chris saw the tension running through his shoulders and the subtle clench of his jaw. It was a characteristic Chris had become familiar with these days. Buck felt things deeply and had a bit of a temper when the moment took him, but hidden resentment was new, and lately, that’s all Chris was seeing in his friend.

“Inez is great. We had breakfast this morning and got a few things off our chest.” 

Oh shit, Chris didn’t like the sound of this at all. “Like what?”

Buck opened his mouth about to tell Chris to mind his own business when he remembered Chris was his Captain and there were just too many times in the past when Buck waded knee-deep in Chris’s business after being told to butt out. How could he expect his oldest friend to behave any differently when Chris had been on the receiving end of Buck’s help for years, whether or not Chris wanted it?

“We decided we both needed some breathing room,” Buck admitted after a long pause. 

Chris kept his expression neutral. “Really?”

Since Buck Wilmington laid eyes on Inez Recillos, the woman had been his holy grail. He’d pursued her relentlessly during those first few months, so much so Chris considered telling the man his behaviour was bordering on harassment. Fortunately, Inez had proved herself quite capable of dealing with Buck on her own and fended off his most ardent attempts to charm her. Eventually, it came out that Inez was the fiancee of an old friend of both Chris and Buck’s, Raphael Castille, Captain of the USS Venture.

At the height of the Dominion War, Raphael had wanted his fiancee nowhere near the front lines. Inez had taken the posting to the Maverick, placing her on the other side of the quadrant, safe from harm. Of course, Raphael could make no assurances for himself, and following the battle of Cardassia Prime, the Venture was lost with all hands. Buck maintained his distance but chose to be Inez’s friend as he would any person suffering a loss. Chris knew from experience how valuable that could be.

Buck’s patience had paid off, and the two began spending more time together, proving to Chris Buck’s affection for Inez was something deep and lasting. Judging by Inez’s devastation when Buck was taken by the Borg, the Captain of the Maverick believed Inez’s feelings for Buck were similarly profound. It was why hearing Buck claim this business of spending time apart felt utterly preposterous to Chris. 

“Yeah,” Buck continued. “I’ve got too much going on in my head right now. Best she don’t have to deal with any of that.” 

Christ, Chris almost rolled his eyes. This sounded fucking familiar. 

“Buck,” Chris let out a breath, having held it for a second, trying to figure out the best way to put this and then decided being straight with his old friend was the only way to proceed. Christ knows he owed Buck that much for the countless times Buck had shaken the dumb ass out of him when he was displaying it in spades. “You remember how I was, after I found that Sarah and Adam weren’t just killed, but murdered.”

“Who could forget?” Buck gave him a pointed look. The Captain’s obsession had almost driven the senior staff to revolt, and only a life and death situation returned Chris to his senses. 

Chris glared at him through narrowed eyes before remembering he was trying to help Buck here. 

“I pushed Mary away because I thought it was the right thing to do when it wasn’t. I told myself I was doing her a favour when all I was doing was trying to justify my own bad behaviour. I’m not saying that’s what you’re doing because God knows, you have reason to feel doubt after what the Borg did to you, but don’t make my mistake. I almost lost Mary. Don’t push Inez away because she wants to help you.”

“It’s better this way,” Buck rose to his feet abruptly, unable to meet Chris’s gaze because everything the Captain said was right and Buck knew it. Hell, he’d even said those words to Chris in a harsher tone than this back then. “Can I be dismissed, Captain?”

“Buck, come on, let’s talk about this,” Chris stood up as well, not wanting to let Buck go when it was clear his old friend needed help. “Tell me what’s wrong, I want to help.” 

“Help do what?” Buck snapped. “Help me stop waking up at night, screaming? Help me believe that all this,” he gestured to the room around them, “isn’t some Borg hallucination I’m going to wake up from and find all gone? I can still feel them, Chris! I can feel them under my skin, inside my head! Every time I wake up, I have to remember I’m in my bed and not in a goddamn regeneration alcove! I don’t want Inez anyway near me like this! Can’t you see that?” 

The raw panic in Buck’s eyes was not lost on Chris, and the Captain didn’t know what to say for a moment, cursing himself from pushing too hard.  That’s why we have a counsellor, stupid. 

“Buck, we know what you’re going through....”

“The hell you do!” Buck’s roar took even Chris by surprise. “You don’t have the slightest goddamn idea what I’m going through and no offence Captain,” Buck glared at him mercilessly. “Unless I’m not performing my duties, this is none of your damn concern., I don’t remember you putting up with anyone’s nose in your business when the shoe was on the other foot, so don’t presume to try and do the same thing to me. This is between Inez and me!” 

Chris’s jaw clench, trying not to get angry because he knew Buck was a raw wound right now, much worse than he imagined. Besides Buck was right, Chris hadn’t tolerated anyone telling him what to do when he was in the worst of his obsession. It had taken nothing less than the deaths of several crewmen to make Chris realize how recklessly he was behaving. Those deaths weighed heavily on Chris’s mind even now, and a part of him would never forgive himself for what he’d done. 

“Alright Buck,” Chris maintained his calm, even when his eyes were hard like points of ice piercing Buck’s skin. “It’s your business what goes on between you and Inez. I just don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret later. You’ve saved me from myself a dozen times in the past, I’m just returning the favour.” 

Flinching under Chris’s stare, he looked away finally, unable to tolerate those eyes capable of seeing too much for his liking. “May I be dismissed?” 

Chris sighed slowly deciding he had said his peace and could do no more. It was up to Josiah now. Chris hoped the Counsellor had better luck than he did with Buck. Even with that thought, Chris felt immediately guilty for giving up on his friend and First Officer, except he knew Buck was nearing some kind of an edge. If Chris kept pushing, Buck was liable to go over it, and Chris didn’t want to risk Buck not finding his way back if that happened. As much as Chris loathed to admit it, Buck needed someone with far more expertise than Chris to help him heal. He needed Josiah. 

“You’re dismissed Commander,” Chris said finally. “Inform me when we reach Tenarus.” 

“Aye Sir,” Buck nodded, not looking at Chris when he swept out of the room, leaving the Captain of the Maverick alone with his thoughts. 

After a few seconds, when Chris recovered from the confrontation, he tapped his combadge. 

“Counsellor Sanchez,” Josiah’s low rumble of a voice followed the spirited chirp from the device. 

“Josiah, it’s Chris,” he stared at the door Buck had just exited. “We need to talk.” 

Even from space, the planet looked cold. 

Against the dark expanse of stars, Arloff IV or Tenarus, as it was named by a more imaginative cartographer after its mapping, resembled a white dot on approach. The star around which it revolved was equally distant, explaining why Tenarus suffered the weather it did. Possessing twin moons close to each other, their orbit around the planet ensured the surface would be frequently lashed with blizzard-like winds. As the Maverick closed in, its crew could see the formation of thick cloud cover, landmasses gripped in arctic conditions, battling the few drops of ocean for dominance.

Perfect place for a gulag, Chris Larabee thought involuntarily as he studied the planet from his command chair, deciding on first impressions he did not like the place. It wasn't just the concept of the asylum bothering Chris, especially after Josiah Sanchez's words about any institution where guards were required to maintain residents, lacking oversight so far away from the core systems.

"Alex," Chris glanced at the science officer at her station. "Get Josiah to report to the bridge." 

"Aye Sir," she nodded, aware that Josiah was probably getting ready for the Away Mission to the surface and quickly summoned the Counsellor to the bridge so he could make the initial contact with Doctor Paracelsus. 

"I feel like I need a sweater just looking at it," Vin said distastefully, having never acclimated to frosty temperatures. Every place he'd ever been was always warm and he avoided cold weather like the plague. Any environment needing that many layers to stay warm, was not anywhere he wished to be. 

"You're too Vulcan for your own good," Chris teased. "It wasn't warm when we climbed Everest." 

"Oh yes," Alex couldn't help but remark, "because climbing Everest in a holodeck with temperature controls set at cool, is exactly like the real thing." 

"Well don't blame us if you and Ezra get hysterical every time we talk about turning off the holodeck safeties." Chris exchanged a grin of schoolboy mischief with Vin before turning it Alex's direction. 

"We just want to keep our Captain and idiot husband from going splat at the foot of a mountain." Alex shook her head, wondering why she was arguing with these two. They devolved into juveniles whenever they talked about their extracurricular activities on the holodeck. 

"Hey!" Vin threw her a look of mock offence. "You know you can always come with us, make sure we don't do anything stupid." He was perfectly aware it was an offer she would never accept. 

The idea of spending her off duty hours climbing a mountain made her wince. "I think I'll just stick with mai-tais on a beach." 

Chris laughed, sensing Vin had just scored the winning serve and spared Alex any further embarrassment. "Are we in communications range?" 

"Aye Captain? Shall I hail them?" 

"Yeah, we should let them know we're here." 

JD Dunne who would have usually done the deed was preparing for the Away Mission to the surface along with Buck Wilmington, Nathan Jackson, Mary Travis and Ezra Standish. At maximum warp, they'd arrived at Tenarus in record time, and Chris was determined, no matter what the outcome of his conversation with Doctor Paracelsus, his Away Team would be landing on the surface of the planet. Still, as he noted the empty seats on either side of him, Chris felt his bridge seemed incomplete with half the Senior Staff embarking on this mission to the surface. 

"Yes Sir," Alex nodded, pausing in her task of conducting a surface scan of the planet to carry out the request. It took a few taps across the glass display before the screen flashed green, indicating the facility was receiving their hail and standing by for a message. "Tenarus Research, this is the USS Maverick. Please standby to receive a transmission from Counsellor Josiah Sanchez." 

No sooner than afte Alex made the statement, the turbo lift doors slid open, and Josiah stepped onto the bridge. 

"Reporting for duty," Josiah said as he descended the walkway to join Chris in front of the view screen. 

"You're up," Chris explained. "We've just hailed the facility on your behalf." 

A few seconds of silence followed, before the view of the planet on the screen vanished. In its place, was the face of a dark man with imposing features, wearing what appeared to be a white doctor's uniform, with Caduceus against his mandarin collar. His shoulders were broad, and his eyes were deep set, making his brow especially pronounced. His features appeared chiselled from ebony and Chris suspected he was probably tall. 

"Greetings, Captain Larabee. I am Director Gabriel Paracelsus of this institute. Did you say, Josiah Sanchez?"

"Hello Gabe," Josiah stepped into view. "It's me, Joey." 

Alex and Vin exchanged glances, both mouthing the word simultaneously. Joey?

"Oh my God, how long has it been?" Paracelsus exploded, his smile stretching across his entire face in delight.

"Longer than either of us wants to remember," Josiah grinned. "Gabe, I hope you don't mind, I'm serving aboard the Maverick as its Counsellor, and when I heard this was on the way back to our assignment in the frontier, I asked Captain Larabee if we could make a slight detour." 

"Greetings Director Paracelsus," Chris introduced himself, now that Josiah had given him an opening. trying to appear as amiable as possible. "I hope you don't mind us using Counsellor Sanchez's desire for a quick visit to see how you're doing. This sector is close to the former Romulan Neutral Zone, and with what's happened with the empire lately, raiders are more common than not. We'd like to come down, upgrade your comms and security systems just in case." 

The smile on Paracelsus's face did not waver and he replied with a tone of graciousness. "Of course Captain, I would not fault you for trying to carry out your duty, and it is true, we are somewhat isolated out here. While I cannot confess to seeing any raiders yet, I suppose it would be unfortunate if they discovered our presence and realised how vulnerable we are." 

"Exactly," Chris offered the man a smile in return. "Our Away Team is on standby to transport at your convenience." 

"They can come down right now, we'll lower the force field the minute you're ready," Paracelsus replied before turning to Josiah. "It will be so good to see you again Joey, you can tell me if you ever got anywhere with that Betazed girl you were pining after." 

Chris shot Josiah a look and hid his amusement when Josiah's face turned red with embarrassment. If Chris was not mistaken, that Betazed girl was, in fact, Ayla, Josiah's late wife. For some reason, it did Chris's universe some measure of good to know that the wise, often sagely Counsellor with all the answers, was once as awkward as the rest of them. 

"Oh I made some headway," Josiah cleared his throat and now felt genuinely eager to catch up with Gabe again. It wasn't often he ran into friends who knew him before he became a therapist. "We'll talk about it when I get down there, and you can show me your playground." 

"I'd be delighted," Paracelsus replied with just as much sincerity.

Yet as Chris studied him on the screen, there was something in his smile that didn't seem quite right to the Captain of the Maverick, although for the life of him, Chris couldn't figure out what. 

Chris only hoped it was a mystery that didn't end up putting the lives of his Away Team in jeopardy.

A short time later, Chris walked Josiah to Transporter Room 1 where the Away Team under Buck's leadership was preparing to transport through the colony's shields. Leaving Alex the bridge, Chris wanted the chance to talk to Josiah about Buck, since he was still concerned about the First Officer's state of mind, but also because he wanted to know more about Doctor Paracelsus. 

"So you two were friends?" Chris inquired as they made their way down the hallway after stepping off the turbo lift. 

"We were a part of the same group," Josiah answered. "You know how it is at the Academy. There's always a group of cadets, you stick with through the whole thing and then drift apart, promising you'll catch up but never do." 

Chris couldn't deny that, remembering the friends from his Academy days. Buck was still in his life of course, but Raphael Castille was gone, and last he heard of Noah Forbes, he was practising medicine at Starfleet Medical, and Rebecca Sharpe was at the office of the Judge Advocate General.

"Yeah," Chris nodded. "I know what you mean." 

"He and I went to a lot of the same classes since we were both preparing for Starfleet Medical," Josiah continued. "He was a quiet type, spiritual. He had the idea that mental well-being required belief in something inviolate." 

"Like God?" Chris eyed him curiously.

Religion in the 24th century was still practised. However, the more outdated concepts were abandoned as clerics preached enlightenment through the acceptance of others, which was not all that different from the Federation's worship of IDIC. On the Maverick, the diverse crew was a microcosm of different customs and beliefs. 

On Sundays, or rather the closest approximation to Sunday as one could get in space, church services were held on the holodecks, with holographic chaplains taking the pulpit. During the Christmas mass, Chris had attended as Captain and was surprised to see Nathan Jackson, Drew Katovit and even Audrey King present. Meanwhile, practitioners of Islam were allowed their time to worship during the day and of the alien holidays, Mary and Billy observed Kish'altriq; a Vulcan holiday. Casey celebrated Ha'mara and even Alex kept the Klingon Days of Honour, by inflicting Rokeg blood pie on all of them. 

"Not quite," Josiah answered. "According to scripture, not even God is perfect to some. No, Gabe believed in something even greater than all that, something that could not be driven by emotions or ego, something pure." 

"He's in for a long wait," Chris managed to say. "Even the Q, who is about as close to God as you can get, aren't perfect." 

"Agreed," Josiah nodded as they saw the door to Transporter 1 ahead. 

Upon realising they would soon be joining the Away Team, Chris halted a moment. "Josiah, what about Buck? I'm worried about what happened earlier. Should I be letting him run this mission?" 

Of course, Chris didn't even want to think about the fallout if he kept Buck on the Maverick. It might be the right decision as Captain, but the damage it would do to their friendship was another thing entirely. Yet he knew he could not ignore this. If Buck was compromised, then Chris blindly burying his head in the sand was only going to lead to disaster. 

Josiah nodded in understanding, aware of how difficult a position Chris was in at present. The Captain of the Maverick was one of the strongest willed people he knew, if not the strongest. Being forced to admit Buck's situation might be beyond him, was something Josiah had no doubt struck Chris Larabee to the core. 

"I'll keep an eye on him," Josiah assured. "Right now, he's compartmentalising, and so far it's worked, but those walls are starting to thin. I think he needs to confront his anxieties, not bury them away so he can ignore them."

"Are you sure Josiah?" Chris asked, fearing he was blinding himself to the fact the man might not be able to lead the Away Team. "I don't want a situation to develop while he's down there." 

It didn't help matters that Mary was going to the facility as well, but once again, Chris reminded himself she was an officer under his command. For their relationship to work, some lines could not be crossed and his treating her like his 'girlfriend' certainly qualified. He could not afford her any more consideration than he would give to the others in the same Away Team. Fortunately, Ezra was going along, and if there was one thing the Security Chief was good for, it was standing up to senior officers when they were behaving like assholes. 

Chris knew that first hand. 

"Chris," Josiah stared at him, "more than anything right now, Buck needs to feel in control of his life, that the decisions he makes are his own, not the product of some Borg fantasy. He's struggling to convince himself everything is normal, that this is his life. We've got to help him believe what's around him is real, so he can rebuild the control he thinks he's lost. Taking him off active duty right now, would be tantamount to the Borg taking away his free will. Not an action I can recommend. I will keep an eye on him, and if I think for one minute, he can't cut it, I'll let you know." 

"I'll hold you to that Counsellor," Chris said seriously before they stepped into the room. 

"Ezra, I don't think we need to be armed," Nathan Jackson frowned as he hooked his phaser onto his belt. "We're just going there for an impromptu visit." 

"Doctor," Ezra as always wore his best poker face, even when he was trying not to show how exasperated he was. "We are about to transport into a facility which has a penal forcefield, with only the scantest information that all is well. Once we are at the complex, nothing short of a photon torpedo, if that, is going to penetrate the shield if things should go badly." 

"Alright, alright," Nathan grumbled, conceding the point. "Just quit talking like we're about to beam into a firefight."

"You never know," Buck said with a little smile. "Besides its Starfleet regulations when we beam down to a penal colony, we have to go in armed." 

"See," Ezra crowed in triumph while JD wore a look on his face that implied clearly, he thought he was the more mature of the two. 

"Don't get too cocky," Buck told Ezra. "You're scaring the womenfolk."

"Hey!" Lt. Rain who was operating the transporter controls immediately piped up. 

"He said it not me," Nathan quickly added, wanting no part of that last comment. 

Chris and Josiah stepped into the Transporter Room just in time to see Buck getting swatted on the arm by Mary. 

"Maybe I should go alone," Josiah said with a straight face, after hearing the antics of the group and wondering whether or not he ought to be checking everyone, except for himself, JD and the Captain into the asylum for observation. 

"You're not leaving me with this bunch," Chris returned. "Buck? Are we ready to transport?"

"Almost," Buck said grinning at the protocol officer. "You know striking a superior officer is a court-martial offence." 

"I'll take my chances," Mary said sweetly and exchanged a wink of solidarity with Rain. 

"Now you see what I have to put up with," Chris couldn't help but wink at Mary.

"Very funny," the Protocol Officer returned Chris's smile with one of affection before returning to the business of securing her phaser and tricorder to her belt. 

Mary was wearing a blue bodysuit made from soft material and knee-high space boots, clothing she'd taken to wearing when she wished to appear as a neutral party. During diplomatic missions when she was required to play mediator, it was less jarring to opposing factions if she did not wear the uniform. While Starfleet's mandate was to protect the ideals of the Federation, it was still considered a military institution by many. 

"Are you ready to go?" Chris asked Buck. 

"More or less," Buck cast a glance at the Away Team. As always, Nathan had his medkit with him, even though it was highly unlikely he'd need it considering they were transporting to an asylum with medical facilities. However, the healer had suffered one too many missions to know the precaution was never wasted. Ezra was making sure everyone had a phaser. At the same time, JD carried a small case which Chris presumed contained the parts needed for the upgrades to the asylum's communications and security systems. 

"Alright," Chris turned back to Buck. "Check-in as soon as you arrive at the complex, and give me hourly reports. The purpose here is to take a quick look around, make sure nothing is going on we should be concerned about. Nathan, Josiah, talking to the patients would help. Ezra, the asylum is huge, try and get a good look around if you can but don't be too intrusive. As Mary says, this is a civilian facility, and our jurisdiction only kicks in if there is an imminent threat to life, not because we're on a fishing expedition." 

"Captain, please," Ezra made a face at the notion of going fishing, or any outdoor situation requiring him to handle worms or insects with his bare hands. "I investigate based on data, I do not go on 'fishing expeditions' of any kind." 

"Rain," Chris rolled his eyes before turning to the Transporter Chief. "Could you please let Tenarus know we're ready to transport the Away Team before I send Ezra down there in a torpedo tube." 

******

Of course, they caught him. 

There was only one place on the entire planet he could go, once he escaped. Making the journey to the communications relay had almost killed him, but he knew he had no choice, he had to get there. The message was sent, and sooner or later, someone would come. If nothing else, Jerry had to have faith in that. He was half-dead when they went to the relay station and found him, giving Jerry no chance to put up much of a fight. 

The warders of Tenarus were not just humans, some of them were Nausicaans, hired not for their ability to provide mental health care, but because they were strong and did not care what they did as long as they got paid. Jerry suspected if they knew what was really happening in Tenarus, no amount of money would be enough to keep them from running. 

Surrounded by the steel walls of the lift that took him all the way down to the lowest depths of the facility, his captors were not the Nausicaans. No, they had merely retrieved him from the relay station and brought him back. Now he was in the hands of the 'Believers', what Jerry called the most deranged followers of Paracelsus’s new religion. Composed of humans, they also included Tellerites, Andorians and one or two Bajorans. They bought into Paracelsus delusion, hook, line and sinker.

Jerry made no attempt to speak to the two men who stood almost a head taller than him, their eyes filled with the vacancy that only came from complete indoctrination. They were guards once, but somehow Paracelsus twisted their minds so out of shape, there was nothing left of their individuality. 

All that remained was serving her. 

Jerry knew they weren't alone, he could hear her too. Remain at Tenarus long enough, and everybody did. She used no words that could be called a language, but when she whispered, you wanted to be apart of her, and God help you then. 

Because there was no going back after. 

On route to her first posting out of the Academy, Mary's ship the USS Mandela was forced to make a brief detour to study the collapse of a red supergiant. Unfortunately, before they could arrive to conduct their analysis, the massive stellar body, measuring -3 on the Hertzsprung–Russell scale, had imploded prematurely. By the time they reached it, all they could see was the dense stellar material crumbling into the gravity well it created. 

The result of the spectacular collapse was the formation of a new black hole. 

Mary remembered standing at the observation deck of the Mandela, mesmerized by the disintegration of the supergiant. Its debris disappeared into the singularity, leaving Mary with a chill running down her spine at the sight. The brief ignition of stellar matter made the accretion disk visible, but everything beyond that crimson ring was utter blackness. It was a void from which not even light could escape, where the laws of physics had no meaning, and even space-time was forced to bend to its will.

Mary stared at it, overcome with a sense of oblivion like she was staring at the dark heart of the universe, the part of it that terrified spacefarers because it was a reminder, in space no one could hear you scream.

When the shimmer of the transport beam dissipated, and the Away team found themselves in a room very much suited to the atmosphere of an old asylum, Mary felt it again. It seeped into her consciousness like black oil, until she felt her insides slick with its taint. Her heart and mind were invaded by something wordless, letting her know she was no different than the debris hurtling towards the singularity. 

The instant he was able to react, Nathan Jackson, who was standing next to Mary on the transporter pad, saw the change in her pallor. "Mary, are you alright?" 

The question immediately drew the attention of the others, because they were no more than ten seconds into their arrival at Tenarus. 

Mary's cheeks reddened at their concern, feeling for a moment like one of those women in ancient times who suddenly caught a case of the vapours. Shaking away the unpleasant sensation, she quickly regained her composure. "I'm fine," she said to Nathan and then looked at the other men present in assurance. "Strong emotions generated by a place like this, bleeds into the walls. I guess I can feel them." 

"Are you sure?" Buck Wilmington asked. As First Officer, anything that might affect the safety of the Away team concerned him. Not to mention, Chris would not be pleased if anything happened to Mary under his watch. 

"Yes," Mary smiled, trying to hide the flutters she still felt in her stomach. "I'm okay. Please don't worry." 

Josiah Sanchez was not that convinced, although he believed Mary's story about emotional resonance left in a place. When Ayla his wife was still alive, she rarely visited him at the psychiatry wing of Starfleet Medical because as a Betazoid, the bombardment of aberrant thoughts was too much for her. Mary's telepathic abilities were not comparable to Ayla’s, but Josiah knew her former bond with her Vulcan husband had awakened her latent telepathic abilities. Not to mention, according to Mary’s psych records, she had quite a high ESPer rating. 

"We can't help it," Josiah said encouragingly. "You're the prettiest among us." 

"That's my line Josiah," Buck grinned before turning his attention back to JD and Ezra.

Ezra stared at Mary, choosing not to add his voice to the litany of concern surrounding her since the lady was doing her best to downplay her sudden turn. His ability to see through facades told Ezra whatever it was Mary experienced, she was not recovered from it but for their benefit, was hiding her discomfort. He was too much the gentlemen to demand she explain herself, so Ezra made a mental note to ask her about it discreetly later. 

"Where is everyone?" JD asked no one in particular. "I thought someone would be here to greet us." 

While the transporter room of the Tenarus asylum was comparable in size to the one the Away Team had just used on board the Maverick, that was where the similarity ended. Instead of a well-lit room, with walls painted in pleasing green and illuminated surfaces and controls, this room was fashioned with grey, metal walls and almost black floor plating. Unlike the Maverick, where the transporter controls were visible, a narrow alcove at the corner of the room served a similar purpose. 

The lighting was harsh and strategically placed, so there were too many shadows for the liking of the Maverick crew. Conduits ran along the walls, disappearing through ceilings and into the deck, no doubt joining the rest of the network spread across the complex. Just before one of those darkened corners, facing the alcove, were twin doors which appeared to be the only way in and out of the place.

Suddenly the door slid open, and a young woman hastily walked into the room, stopping short at the sight of them, her eyes rested on JD first. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She exploded into apologies as she closed the distance to him. "This place is just huge, and Doctor Paracelsus was finishing up some last-minute consults when you contacted us from your ship. He sent me to bring you to the Main Compound." 

"It's okay," JD answered with a smile, trying to disarm her anxiety, "we just got here. I'm Lt. Dunne." 

Dressed in a lavender coloured dress, matching tights and boots, she stood slightly shorter than JD, and her though she looked no older than twenty, there was just enough puppy fat in her cheeks to make her look younger. Her long blond hair swung over the small of her back in a ponytail, while her brown eyes rested on JD with warmth. 

"Oh thank Goodness," she said relieved and then broke into a smile. "I'm not used to greeting visitors. My name is Holly Jones, Doctor Paracelsus's assistant. I usually just bring him coffee and make his appointments.” 

"Well it's nice to meet you, Holly," JD greeted, thinking she looked awful pretty when she smiled.

"It's nice to meet you too," she beamed and then shifted her attention to the rest of the Away Team. "Is one of you Counsellor Sanchez?"

"That would be me," Josiah stepped forward at the mention of his name. 

Walking past JD, she approached the Counsellor and began speaking again. "I'm sorry Doctor Paracelsus couldn't meet you himself, Counsellor. He was just completing his rounds in Red Sector when we got the hail from your ship. If you all would like to follow me, I'll take you through the facility. He's really excited to see you. We don't get a lot of visitors here, except for new patients, that is." 

"I guess this isn't the destination of choice for most people," Josiah agreed.

"No, not at all. I mean we get staff coming and going, but that's it."

"We're here just to look around," Buck stated after taking a moment to check in with Chris and let the Maverick know they were all right. While the force field surrounding the facility assured no one could transport in and out without permission, it did not prevent a subspace message from escaping. "We want to make sure you get some standard upgrades to your comms and security systems. You're a long way from the Federation, and things out here are pretty wild these days." 

Ezra said nothing, taking note of how Nathan was maintaining a vigil on Mary. Even if the healer was trying to hide it, Ezra could tell Nathan was concerned about her. Over the last year, Mary's 'impressions', he would not call it telepathy, saved the Maverick from uncertain situations. It was not something to be dismissed out of hand, and Ezra knew without having to hear her say the words, something had affected her the instant she arrived here. 

And Ezra would know what that was. 

Stepping through the doors of the Transporter Bay, as Holly called it, once introductions were made, the Away Team was confronted by the sight of two formidable-looking Nausicaans who eyed them with suspicion as they walked past. 

"Oh don't worry about Abrogar and Zargh," Holly assured them, seeing the way the new arrivals reacted to the duo. "They've been with the Institute for years now." 

Nausicaans who stood on average two meters in height, with bony protrusions across their faces and teeth that resembled tusks, were primarily known throughout the quadrant as mercenaries for hire. Relations between Nausicaa and the Federation had yet to stray into outright hostility, but there was no love lost between them either. Exchanging a glance with Ezra, who was probably more grateful than ever he insisted the Away Team carry phasers, Buck started to share Ezra's suspicions about this place.

Why on Earth would someone think Nausicaans would be appropriate warders for an asylum?

"Really?" Ezra questioned, not at all comfortable with the presence of mercenaries here. "This is not the place I would expect to see Nausicaan guards." 

"Well to tell the honest truth," Holly glanced over her shoulder at the Security Chief, "it's been kind of difficult to get staff who want to work here." 

Ezra supposed he could understand that. The wind outside could be heard howling through the thick walls and Ezra could only imagine how inhospitable the planet would be if one was on the surface. This part of the ‘Institute’ as the young lady was calling it appeared to be off-limits for the patients if the signs he saw were any indication. The low hum behind some doors told him this section was mostly for the generator rooms of the facility's various systems, such as power, climate controls and the force field. Ezra could appreciate why they had to be kept well away from the reach of any patient. 

"And they are guarding the transporters to ensure no one attempts to leave?" 

"Not that they could," Buck reminded. "The force field isn't going to let anyone escape." 

"Even if they knew how to use it," JD added. 

"Do you have many attempts?" Josiah inquired since the Institute cared primarily for the criminally insane. Before treatment was completed, it stood to reason some patients might have attempted to leave. After all, he thought silently, someone had managed to reach the relay station and transmit a call for help. 

"Not that many," Holly explained. "Most of the time they just wander into the wrong place, but we're more afraid of them getting outside than we are of them using the transporters. I mean, the surface temperature will kill you in two minutes without a proper enviro-suit, to say nothing about the critters on the ice." 

Nathan fell back a bit, allowing the others to ask their questions about the complex, so he could talk to Mary quietly. Something in her eyes told him she was not alright, despite her claims to the contrary. 

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly out of earshot of the others, and more specifically, Holly.

The girl seemed nice enough, but they had come here because something didn't feel right to Captain Krista. Now that he was here, he could feel it himself, eyeing the Nausicaan guards receding further behind them and the surveillance devices installed unobtrusively along intermittent sections of the ceiling, not to mention Mary's reaction to the place. 

"I'm fine," she patted his arm in a gesture of affection at his concern. "I just got hit by a sense of something I can't explain." 

"Something here?" He looked up furtively. 

"No," she shook ahead, trying to articulate what she felt. "It's hard to put into words. I feel afraid for some reason like we're somewhere we shouldn't be, but for the life of me, I can't understand why. It's like this distant buzzing in my ears, you know when you can hear a fly somewhere in the room, but not exactly where?"

"Not really," Nathan shrugged. "But it's good enough for me. We should tell Buck." 

"Not yet," Mary shook her head in answer. "Ezra maybe. You know him, he's already suspicious after seeing those Nausicaans." 

"Yeah," Nathan nodded, resisting the urge to look at them again. "Can't say I blame him." 

Until the Away team checked in, there was little to be done on the Maverick except wait. During these instances, Chris wished for the days of old when a Captain could lead an Away Team, instead of being forced to remain trapped on the bridge. Of course, he knew the rule was a wise one, even if he hated it personally. Sitting in his command chair, Chris began drumming his fingers against the armrest, trying to decide whether or not he would remain on the bridge or go see what Adam was doing.

Vin noticed Chris's boredom and threw a knowing look at Alex, who saw it too. The helmsman had plenty to occupy himself, even if the ship was holding position above the planet. With JD away, Vin was listening to subspace traffic as well as maintaining a stable orbit around Tenarus. It was just a matter of time before Chris's lack of purpose would drive everyone nuts, and Alex would have to step in to prevent mutiny.

Alex caught Vin's look and realized Chris was about to slip into the rather annoying habit of asking what everyone was doing, at two-minute intervals. Josiah's records were filled with junior officers still suffering nervous episodes from their Captain’s antics when he was bored. Deciding she needed to occupy Chris’s mind productively, she turned her attention to the message received by the Erstwhile, transmitted to the Maverick's mainframe by Captain Krista. 

"Captain," Alex broke the silence, "why don't you and Vin transport down to the relay station and take a quick look around?" 

Chris swivelled around in his command chair and eyed her suspiciously, "why?"

Usually, she would advocate going herself, not suggesting he did the deed. Not that Chris minded of course. It was a low-risk venture, and it would keep him from bothering Adam, at present in the Captain's quarters studying hard for the equivalency exams he would have to pass to qualify for Academy enrolment next year. 

"I've analyzed the transmission detected by the Erstwhile, and it's short. Too short, in fact. Judging by my scans of the relay station, there's no damage to the structure, and it appears to have power. If the message didn't come from Tenarus, but from this station, there is no reason why it should be so short. Whoever sent it made sure it didn't last for more than 0.34 seconds." 

"0.34 seconds?" Now it was Vin's turn to pay attention.

"That's oddly specific," Chris understood why Vin was so interested. "You thinking what I'm thinking?" 

"Yeah," Vin nodded. "That's about as long as it would take to set off a communications alert. If you could cut the transmission before that time, the computer would record it as random subspace chatter instead of a genuine message." 

"They were hoping to sneak it past someone," Alex guessed, reaching the same conclusion as her husband and her Captain. "Someone at Tenarus." 

"Well we assumed the staff at Tenarus was compromised, and someone escaped to send a distress signal, but Buck's report tells us that's not the case." Vin pointed out. "So something else is going on down there." 

"We need to find out who sent that message," Chris said thoughtfully. "Civilian or not, Tenarus is a Federation installation answering to the authorities on Earth. That means there should be a record of every patient being held there." 

"Might not be a patient, Chris. It could be one of their staff." 

"Which is a more worrying thought," Alex admitted, not liking where this was going. If it was a member of Tenarus's staff, then the Away Team might be walking into a great deal of danger. 

"Worrying but logical," Chris stated, sharing her concern. "A member of staff would find it easier to escape the facility than a patient who's probably being watched all the time." 

"Tell you what though Chris," Vin stared at the viewscreen and took in the sight of the icy world displayed. "If they did make a run for the station from the facility, that's one hell of a trip. The surface temperature and the fact the place is located on the side of a mountain proves someone was willing to risk everything to get help." 

"Yeah," Chris agreed and rose to his feet. "I say we go take a look. Come on pard, time to break out your snowshoes."

The time for speculation was over. They needed to get down there and see for themselves. 

*****

The Away Team did not descend all the way to the last sublevel of the institute, but it was near enough. 

After travelling more than thirty levels, Buck felt as if they journeyed all the way to the icy core of the planet. As the whump, whump of lift pulsed in their ears with each level passed, Buck could tell just by the intensity in Ezra's eyes, the situation they were entering was becoming more precarious by the minute. Should they find something amiss down here, there would be no way for the Maverick to lock on to their signal to transport them back, even if the ship could penetrate the force field which it could not. 

When the doors finally slid open, Buck was relieved to see not another gloomy-looking hallway, but a well-lit compound with light coloured walls, artificial grass across the floor and trees lining walkways. There were bushes and flowering plants in planters and pots, benches for people to sit and even water fountains. People were walking along the paths, others sat together in groups, while some were simply taking the time alone, to read data pads or admire the scenery. 

"Now that's a damn sight prettier," Buck exclaimed, surveying the scene with approval. 

JD had to agree and gawked at their new surroundings in amazement. "Wow, I did not expect this." 

"Isn't it great?" Holly smiled at him. "This was Doctor Paracelsus’s idea. It's for the staff and the patients. I usually grab lunch by that tree," she pointed to one being held up by a large planter. "It's almost like being back on Earth."

"It's certainly impressive," Josiah complimented, thinking this was a better environment for the mentally ill, not some dismal looking prison, like they saw earlier. Raising his eyes to the ceiling, he could see the lights were made to mimic the appearance of sunshine, in itself quite therapeutic. 

"I must agree," Ezra continued to study the place, wondering where the guards were at this moment. If patients were allowed free reign of this section of the facility, then some had recovered enough to be granted such liberties. "If I did not know better, I would have believed this to be a holodeck recreation." 

"Well, it's sure as hell more pleasant than what we saw above," Nathan commented and was about to add something further when he saw Mary's face. She was nowhere as enamoured. 

Mary remained untouched by what she saw for a good reason. Even though the scene around her appeared idyllic, what was churning in her gut was nothing so benign. Whatever terrible thing was lurking in Tenarus, coming to this place had only brought them closer to it. 

"Gabe!"

"Joey!"

It was astonishing how easily decades could fall away when old friends who had not seen each other in years, reverted to the personas of their youth at a second's notice. Yet this was precisely how it was when Josiah Sanchez and Gabriel Paracelsus reacted the instant they laid eyes on each other again. Neither saw themselves as middle-aged men taking the penultimate turn on the great wheel, but young men impatiently waiting to take on the world.

Through the viewscreen on board the Maverick, Buck thought Paracelsus looked imposing, but in the flesh, he stood almost a head taller than Buck. The First Officer watched both men striding towards each other after Holly led them through the doors to the doctor's office. Paracelsus was seated behind his desk, but he emerged from it at the sight of Josiah. The two men crossed the tan carpeted floor, meeting each other midway before exchanging a warm hug, the kind delivered by friends who had forgotten how much they missed each other until now.

Buck blinked, trying to wrap his mind around the idea of Josiah ever being young enough to be called 'Joey'.

Still seeing the reunion between the two friends made him smile and Buck noted the same sentiments shared by the rest of the Away Team. Like him, they were accustomed to Josiah being the wise Counsellor who was there to nurse them through whatever emotional difficulties they experienced. It was sobering to remember, Josiah had grown into the man they knew, not sprung fully formed like Athena. Glancing at the others, Buck gestured subtly for everyone, including Holly, to hold back while the two men caught up.

In the meantime, Buck studied the large suite from which Paracelsus ran the institute. They were led here through the Atrium, what Holly called the large courtyard the Away Team entered after disembarking from the lift. The Atrium appeared to be the intersection leading to the other parts of the level through doors and open archways. One such arch took them to the Administration Wing, where the business of running the institute was conducted. 

The wing was reserved for staff only and was devoid of patients. Holly explained not only was this the administration section of the institute and the staff living space, but it was also the location of the Operations hub. From Operations, all systems in the entire facility could be accessed and monitored. Naturally, patients were housed on the level below, along with the guards who kept a vigil on them. 

Anything less would have discombobulated Ezra's sensibilities. 

"I can't believe you're here," Paracelsus stared at Josiah in wonder, still unable to believe this encounter had come about so suddenly after so many years. "How have you been?" 

"I've been well," Josiah grinned, taking a moment to study of Paracelsus now they were meeting each other face to face. On the viewscreen, Paracelsus had grown into his height, since Josiah remembered him as a lanky youth, who had oversized feet. Now the man had filled out, with streaks of grey in his black hair. Aside from crow's feet at the corner of his eyes, he had aged well. "I've been at Starfleet Medical since graduation." 

"Starfleet Medical?" Paracelsus exclaimed in surprise, recalling Josiah's aspirations and knew it had little to do with being planet-bound. "What happened to you shipping out and providing good mental health to the spaceways? You were always talking about a starship posting." 

Josiah laughed, hearing Paracelsus repeating the words Josiah had spoken so often during his Academy days. Though he felt some sadness that dream did not eventuate as he intended, his assignment on the Maverick more than made up for it.

"Two daughters and a wife happened," Josiah shrugged, regretting nothing. "It just worked out better if I stayed on Earth for that. Ayla wasn't much of a fan of raising children on a starship." 

"Ayla?" Paracelsus's brows reached for his hairline, recognizing the name. "The Betazoid girl? You actually married her?"

"I did," Josiah nodded as his mind flashed with memories of his dear wife and once again, knew his marriage to Ayla had been perfect and his children, equally fulfilling. "No regrets, we had a good life together." 

Paracelsus was just as astute a therapist as Josiah, and recognized the sadness that flickered into his old friend's eyes as grief. "She's gone?" 

"Two years ago, Darnay's disease." 

Even now, it still hurt Josiah to say it out loud. The Counsellor knew his grief was what allowed him to connect with Chris Larabee when he met the future Captain of the Maverick, after the Battle of Sector 001. 

"I am sorry, Joey," Paracelsus put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. "I wish I had known." 

"Thank you, my friend," Josiah was touched by the sentiment. "But I've moved on."

"I'm glad," Paracelsus nodded before remembering they were not alone and quickly turned towards the rest of the Maverick's crew waiting discreetly for them to complete their reunion. "Oh I've been remiss Joey, I've forgotten your friends. Please accept my apologies," he turned towards the Away Team. "I'm afraid I don't get much chance to catch up with old friends, and forgot you were there." 

"Yes, that's my fault too," Josiah admitted and gave Buck a grateful nod at his patience. "Let me introduce Commander Buck Wilmington, First Officer of the Maverick. Security Chief Lt. Commander Ezra Standish, Doctor Nathan Jackson, Lt. JD Dunne and Lt. Mary Travis." 

"It's lovely to meet all of you," Paracelsus declared with a welcoming smile. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to meet you myself when you arrived, but your visit was something of a surprise, and I needed to complete the session I was running at the time." 

"No apologies necessary Doctor," Buck took the lead, speaking for the others. "This little lady here has been a great guide." He flashed Holly a smile of thanks that made the young woman blush in gratitude. 

"I expect nothing less," Paracelsus eyed Holly with genuine affection. "I wouldn't be able to run this place without her." 

Buck saw Paracelsus sweeping his gaze over all of them before he came to rest at Nathan. "Doctor Nathan Jackson, you wouldn't be the same Doctor Jackson who wrote the paper Heterogeneity in the Borg Assimilation Process?" 

Nathan stared at the man in surprise, rarely called out for his medical credentials, except when someone needed mending at Sick Bay, or to cure some weird alien rash they caught touching something they shouldn't. "Yeah, that's me."

"Well, what a wonderful surprise!" Paracelsus burst out. "My colleagues and I were discussing that paper not long ago, and we would love to hear about your insights on nanotechnology in the application of altering brain chemistry." He seemed to lapse into silence for a second before looking at Buck. "Tell me, Joey, are you and your colleagues in a hurry to return to your ship?" 

Josiah looked to Buck for an answer. 

"Not exactly," Buck threw a sidelong glance at Ezra, whose consummate gambler's facade revealed nothing about what was really going on behind the man's eyes. Buck knew Ezra wanted a chance to take a look around the place and decided if Paracelsus had something in mind, then he would be foolish not to exploit it. "We did intend to update your systems while we were here. Commander Standish, how long will it take to install those modifications?" 

"No more than a few hours," Ezra answered, although, in truth, he could finish it in one. However, there was a mystery to be solved in Tenarus, and the time to do it would not be unwelcomed.

Besides, despite Doctor Paracelsus's welcoming manner, Ezra's instincts told him something wasn't quite right. So far the man had made no mention of the fact not long ago, another ship had come to Tenarus investigating an errant transmission. Ezra couldn't imagine Paracelsus not being even the slightest bit suspicious about their coincidental arrival here not long after. It was as if the doctor was deliberately avoiding the correlation between the two incidents and that sent Ezra's suspicion nature into overdrive. 

Like Ezra, JD was perfectly aware of how long those upgrades would really take and since it appeared Paracelsus was about to ask them to stay a bit longer, it suited Ezra's desire to snoop around the institute. Seeing the opportunity to help further the cause, JD spoke up.

“Same here for the comms upgrade Commander," he caught the Security Chief's eyes. "It's not something I prefer to rush since I'm going to be interfacing civilian and Starfleet components. I don't want to rush it and corrupt any of your previous programming data."

"Well if you have something in mind," Buck looked at Paracelsus, "we wouldn't mind a few more hours to get the upgrades done right." 

This seemed to agree with the doctor, who broke into a smile. "In that case Commander, if you do not mind my presumption. I'd love for you and your team to stay for the evening. Doctor Jackson, if you are willing to give a little talk to my staff, I can tell you they'd be delighted to hear your thoughts about the Borg assimilation process and its effect on brain chemistry."

No one looked at Buck following that statement. 

Nathan cleared his throat and took a moment to formulate a response, perfectly aware of how sensitive the subject was to Buck. "Of course, it would be my pleasure."

"Yes," Josiah jumped in as well, wanting to rush past the subject quickly, remembering Chris's concerns about the First Officer's state of mind. "Gabe, that should be fine. It was our Captain's wish we give you all the help you needed while we’re down here. A talk to your staff would certainly qualify. What do you say, Commander?" Josiah eyed Buck. 

"Absolutely, we're here to render assistance," Buck spoke, but his voice lacked its earlier authority.

In truth, the First Officer was fighting hard the emotion churning in his gut at Paracelsus's clinical interest in the Borg assimilation process, like it was some strange new bacteria to be examined under a microscope, to be discussed over a three-course meal. The man had no idea what a living hell it was. 

Then again, how could anyone here know? 

"Wonderful," Paracelsus declared, oblivious to the effects his suggestion was having on the Away Team. "Holly, can you see to it that the guest quarters are prepared for our new friends?"

"Certainly," Holly nodded, before turning to Ezra and JD. "Lt. Commander Standish, Lt. Dunne," her gaze lingered on JD a little longer before she spoke, "if you follow me, I can take you to Operations so you can get to work on those upgrades. Shavo our operations chief is on duty, so he should be able to help you with anything you need." 

"We are in your hands, my dear," Ezra said graciously. 

JD on the other hand, gave Holly a little smile, sensing she might like him a little and was wrestling with what to do about it. 

Fortunately, JD's reaction to the young woman as the three of them left the room, allowed Buck to think about something else, other than talks about Borg assimilation. Nathan, Josiah and Paracelsus had started talking shop again, and Buck wanted no part of the discussion. As it was, he had far too much insight into that subject than he would like. 

"Buck," Mary motioned him to join her a few steps away from the three physicians, so they could talk discreetly. Mary remained mostly silent, speaking only when it was necessary. The feeling of dread experienced since her arrival had yet to unleash its grip upon her. However, she brushed it aside when she saw the distress in Buck's eyes. "Are you okay?" 

Buck wished everyone would just stop asking him the question and fought the urge to tell Mary just that. She was trying to be kind, and he had no call being an ass. "I'm fine," he said instead. "How are you doing?" 

"I still feel a little uneasy," Mary admitted readily, not about to lie. "But are you okay? I'm sure Doctor Paracelsus wouldn't have asked Nathan about the lecture if he knew what you went through."

"What I went through is done," Buck dismissed it as he had on previous occasions when someone mentioned his assimilation. "I'm okay. I just don't need to hear more about it." 

"I understand," she said kindly. 

"Commander Wilmington," Paracelsus caught their attention once more, speaking over Nathan and Josiah. "I was about to give Joey... I'm sorry Counsellor Sanchez, and Doctor Jackson a tour of the facility, would you and Lt. Travis like to join us? I rarely get the opportunity to show this place to people." 

"We would be delighted," Mary answered for Buck, wearing one of those smiles Buck knew for a fact could floor even Chris Larabee. 

"Yeah, we wouldn't miss it," Buck answered, trying to match her enthusiasm. 

And failed utterly. 

Snowflakes frosted over his visor the minute Chris Larabee materialized after transport. 

It was no wonder, he realized once the shimmer of gold vanished from his eyes and was able to see through the darkness of the room. The only light came through the windows, one of which had shattered, allowing the polar winds to blow into the station. As a result, almost every surface was covered in a thin layer of frost. Fortunately, Alex's scan of the conditions inside the relay station before he and Vin transported in, gave them forewarning to be dressed for the cold temperatures. 

"Jesus," Vin cursed as he wiped the ice from the glass of his helmet so he could see better. "What the hell?"

Chris stared at the plexiglass window and knew nothing short of a phaser blast could crack it. Without investigating further, Chris knew without a doubt, the message had come from here and whoever sent it might have paid the price. 

"See if you can't bring the place back online," Chris ordered. "I'm going to check out the rest of the place." 

"Right," Vin nodded and then paused for a moment. "Be careful, Chris." 

It was a subtle reminder to his Captain to draw his phaser, just in case. Chris caught the unspoken request and unhooked his phaser before going off to investigate. Fortunately, the station was not that large, so neither would be very far out of each other's line of sight for long, and Chris knew without having to hear Vin say it, the helmsman would be at his side in a second if he were in trouble.

"Don't worry," Chris shrugged. "I'm guessing whatever happened here, we missed it." 

Vin couldn't argue with that opinion since he thought the same thing himself, but Chris was his Captain and best friend, so he was not about to be anything but vigilant. "Just be careful anyway." 

Heading straight for the Ops station in the centre of the room, Vin noted Alex was right about the station still being powered. Like everything else in the place, it was covered with frost and Vin ran a gloved hand over the panel, so he could get a clear view of the controls. A faint, green light pulsing lethargically at one corner of a dark screen, waited wearily for manual initialization and Vin was more than happy to oblige. 

"Computer initialized main power." 

"Access denied. Please state Starfleet designation and service number." 

"Tanner, Vin. Lieutenant. Service Number SC245-67190CEC." 

"Identity confirmed. Access granted to Lt. Vin Tanner." 

"I'm in," Vin called out over his shoulder.

"Good. See if you can bring up an emergency force field to seal that breach," Chris ordered as he continued to study the room.

The relay station was no different than other ones of its type Chris encountered throughout his career. It was roughly two floors, joined by a flight of short steps, and overlooked the cliff face of the mountain in which it was built. Unlike the Tenarus facility, this was an entirely Starfleet construction with a Type 1 communications array installed on the roof. He spotted a single transporter pad and a workstation, separate from the Ops Control in the middle of the floor. 

A sudden whoomp quickly becoming a low hum signalled the return of main power as lights flooded the entire station, followed by the calm voice of the awakened computer system. 

"Emergency forcefield initialized." 

Thanks to the illumination, Chris was able to see the second floor provided limited amenities for whoever was manning the station. There were doors to a sonic shower and a privy against the wall nearest to the top of the steps, and the frames of double bunk beds. As the light filled the place, the temperature started to climb with the breach sealed. Even as he stood on the steps, he could see the frost quickly melting away, leaving behind puddles of water that would soon dry up with the heat.

A thought occurred to Chris, and he turned sharply to Vin, cutting short his journey to explore the second level. Mind racing, Chris descended the steps and was making his next order before he touched the ground. "Vin, whoever sent that message was Starfleet." 

Vin returned Chris's statement with a look just as sharp. The helmsman's unflappable mask vanished as his eyes widened in realization. "Damn Chris, you're right. No way they would have been able to access anything here otherwise." 

"It's how they knew to send a message only 0.34 seconds long," Chris added, joining Vin at the Ops Control and started removing the helmet of his enviro suit now that the internal conditions of the station were restored to the requirements of its newest visitors. The air felt crisp in his lungs, and the temperature while still chilly, was nowhere as icy as it had been when they first arrived.

"Computer, who was the last person to gain access to this system?" Vin asked, anticipating Chris's next order before taking off his own helmet. 

"Previous access was granted to Lt. Jerry Lambert - Service No. SS116-0647SHN.”

"That's a security officer's designation," Chris recognized immediately before tapping the communicator on the arm of his suit. "Alex, this is the Captain." 

"Captain, is everything alright?" 

"Everything is fine," Chris assured her, meeting Vin's eyes. "Alex, I need you to find out everything you can about Lt. Jerry Lambert - Service No. SS116-0647SH. There's a good chance he sent the message from here." 

"Standby Captain." 

"This is damn strange Chris," Vin admitted. "If this Lt. Lambert was Starfleet, what was he doing here? I mean wouldn't his authority to access any of this be rescinded if he was a patient? And if he wasn't one, what's a Starfleet Officer doing at a civilian facility?" 

"I was thinking the same thing," Chris looked around again. "If he was Starfleet Security, that would explain how he made it here. The survival training alone would have allowed him to cross that distance, and I'd like to know what it was he was running from, that they came in here, weapons blazing to get him." 

"Captain," Alex's voice followed the chirp from his communicator. "I have the information. Lieutenant Jerry Lambert is currently on sabbatical from active duty. From what I've been able to determine, he was assigned to security at Space Dock on Earth. Three months ago, he requested a leave of absence for personal reasons. He did not explain why but the records show he did travel to Ventax II." 

"Ventax II?" Chris knew the planet. It was a pleasant enough place but hardly the best spot for a vacation. The same could be achieved at either Pacifica or Risa, which was much closer to Earth. "Does he have family there?"

"Not according to the records, Lambert has a sister in Alpha Centauri, but that's about it." 

"Still makes no sense," Vin shrugged, unable to understand how Jerry Lambert had come to be in this world, even after Alex's report. 

"There is one thing, Captain," Alex spoke, and Vin immediately frowned because he knew her voice enough to know whatever she was about to say, was not a revelation she liked making. "I don't know whether it's relevant and it's probably a coincidence..."

"What is it?" Chris said abruptly, wanting to know. He could tell by Vin's expression the Vulcan was sensing something in his wife's voice that gave him cause for concern, despite Alex's attempts to assure them otherwise. Hell, Chris could hear it himself. 

"Lambert's assignment at the time he took his leave, was providing security to the engineering crew responsible for the refit of the Sulaco." 

Chris's inside froze, and it had nothing to do with the temperature inside the station.

Meeting Vin's eyes, he could see the Vulcan was affected just as profoundly, although for very different reasons. The ancient ship from Earth's past was a symbol of one of the most shameful incidents in Chris Larabee's career, if not his life. To this day, he carried the guilt of his actions during that mission. The faces of those who paid the price for his recklessness was burned into his memory. Chris suspected he would never stop paying penance for those lives for as long as he lived. 

For Vin, the effect was almost as traumatizing. Although in his case, it led to a seismic shift in his life. It was Vin's contact with the xenomorphs on Fury 361 around which the Sulaco was in orbit, that brought on the early arrival of Pon Farr. During the worst of the plak tow, he had harmed the people close to him, Chris, Julia and even Alex. If not for Alex's dangerous gamble of facing him in the Koon-ut-kal-if-fee, he would have died. 

When the name finally sank into his mind, and all the possibilities with it, Chris trusted himself to speak again. "We're going to complete our scan of the station and transport back. In the meantime Commander, I want you to find me every byte of information there is on what Jerry Lambert was doing during his time on the Sulaco, because given the lack of cause, it stands to reason whatever set him off on, started there."