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THE
WHITE
Part One
When
Alexandra Styles dreamed, it was always the same.
It
replayed itself in her mind like a never ending carousel, singing its familiar
song in a perfect melody, reminding her with each note the tortured clarity of
the incident which had burnt away everything she was in a six month ordeal of
pain and humiliation. Though she had expunged the memory of what had happened
to her from her conscious mind, burying it all in an abyss deep inside of her,
she knew it was not truly gone. The stink of it has seeped into her bones and
left its mark upon her despite her best efforts to forget. She knew it had
changed her from what was into what is and though she was stronger for the
experience, there was apart of her destroyed forever that she missed deeply,
though she told no one about it.
Six
months of hell that had followed her for the past three years, sharing her bed,
her thoughts and her soul like a lover might do, expect none of it was wanted.
It infuriated her of course that it would not go away and much of it had to do
with the pride that would not allow her to tell anyone what had happened. For
she knew if she did, then the wall behind which she kept it all safely hidden
would shatter and god help her then when that deluge of hurt was allowed to
overwhelm her. When she had grown up without a mother and found herself in the
company of the Klingon housekeeper who practically raised her while her father
had played diplomat on Kronos, she had been told that being a woman was no
excuse to be weak
Kellein
as she was called and she wore it with great pride for it was the name of
Kahless' bride, had taught Alex that a woman could have a warrior spirit too.
Even after her father had left Kronos and she had grown to womanhood, Alex
would find herself returning to the hearth of Kellein to visit. The last time
she had seen Kellein had been after her escape from that Cardassian prison. She
had been unable to face her father because the shame was too fresh and fled to
the arms of her Klingon surrogate, who had dried her tears and told her that
her best revenge upon those who had hurt her was to survive.
Alex had
managed that and more but sometimes, she wished she just wished she could sleep
without dreaming.
*********
Alex woke up
screaming.
For an
instance after she had woken so abruptly from her less than peaceful slumber
that she had no idea where she was and the instinct to hide would grip her mind
with terrifying intensity. She scrambled out of bed, not completely awake, moving
with amazing stealth for the darkest corner of the room. Once there, she
pressed her back against the wall as she hid in its shadows, hugging her knees
against her chest and praying that the sounds she had heard were not the
footsteps of them coming for her.
Not
again! Please God, not again!
The play was one that
had repeated itself on several occasions since her arrival on the Maverick as
its second officer. For several seconds as she remained where she was,
trembling in absolute terror until reason and recognition bled into her mind
and she realised that she was not inside the cell of a Cardassian prison but
rather in her quarters on board the Maverick. Alex would blink once and twice,
tears running down her cheeks, intermingling with the cold sweat that had form
on her skin, plastering her underclothes to her limbs. She would see the walls
of that prison cell disappear and the familiar surroundings of her quarters,
the little bits and pieces that reminded her that this was her place would appear
to offer comfort that she was safe.
Alex did
what she always did whenever she woke up like this and that was to weep. She
would cry loud ragged sobs of anger and frustration at her mind's refusal to
let her forget before she told herself that tears were pointless. The violence
was done. It was burned into her mind like a branding iron had been taken to
her soul. There was no forgetting just acceptance. She would dry her tears and
hardened her insides once more before forcing it all away into that black pit
which only seemed to release her demons when her mind was in slumber.
Taking a
deep breath, she steadied herself and decided she was done sleeping for the
night. The clock on her night table told her it was still night, as far as it
could be measured on a starship where there was no sunrise or sunset. Needing
to get out of her room for awhile, Alex washed her face and freshened up as
best she could before slipping into a comfortable dark body suit. She needed to
sleep despite her bad dreams because she had an early shift on the bridge the
next morning and she was going to be in no condition for it unless she overcame
her problem.
There was
no one about as she emerged into the quiet corridor outside her quarters. Alex
did not expect anyone as most of the crew was probably in bed, which was where
she ought to be. The Maverick operated on 24-hour cycles in order to keep the
crew's sense of time in check as well as giving personal some continuity to
their days thus this period of time was currently measured according to the
Maverick's standard as being nighttime. She hoped that Nathan was not on duty
tonight because she did not relish the idea of explaining to him why she needed
dream suppressants again. She knew he was itching to get her into see Counselor
Sanchez and without actually coming out and telling the good doctor how she
felt about it, Alex thought he had about as much chance of that happening as
her deciding to take up belly dancing.
Making
her way to SickBay, she ran through all the things she had planned the next day
and realised that the party was tomorrow night. In the interest of morale, Inez
the bartender at
The only
time she could get her own back was when she completely kicked his butt in the
holodeck.
Arriving
at SickBay, Alex swore under her breath when she saw Nathan Jackson in
attendance and wondered if the man ever slept. Why was it that it was always
him on duty when she came in at these hours. Before the thought even left her
mind, Alex knew the answer. It was because she was in here a lot and
eventually, those periods coincided with his turn to be on night duty. Nathan
was at his desk when she walked into the SickBay, praying that she would not
get too much flack about needing something to sleep again.
"Hello
Nathan." She greeted as she broke the silence of the room with her voice.
"Hello
Alex," Nathan returned her greeting as he emerged from behind his desk
where he had been taking the opportunity of catching up on some medical
profiles he had been accumulating for the crew this past week. The solitude and
the quiet at this time of night allowed him to concentrate as there were seldom
visits to the
He could
tell by her cautious steps into the room, that Alex was not happy to see him in
here tonight. Nathan supposed he could hardly blame her for her paranoid about
how he would take her return considering this had not been the first time he
had seen her come into
"Can’t
sleep?" He asked automatically, sparing her the difficult of asking.
She swallowed
thickly and nodded. "Sleeping is not the problem." She said quietly.
"It’s the dreams."
Nathan
who was aware of her medical history enough to know she had very good reasons
for troubling dreams did not probe too deeply into the cause. "It’s the
brains way of dealing with things you keep buried for too long." He found
himself remarking, hoping that it might provide her the incentive to get some
long term help.
"Things
in my head are buried just fine." Alex retorted, knowing Nathan wanted to
help but it was an old argument and its power to sway her was waning each time
it was brought up. "Can I please have the dream suppressants?" She
spoke trying not to be rude but she really needed to be out of here because she
did not want any unwanted advice that would only make her bark at him. Nathan
was one of the kindest men she knew and as a physician, he had no peer.
Unfortunately his dedication to his patients, made him somewhat intrusive at
times and if there was one thing that Alex could not tolerate was people
meddling into her private affairs, no matter how well the intention.
Nathan
frowned, knowing when his interest was not wanted and perfectly aware that Alex
was not one to ask for personal advice and would not take kindly if he
attempted to give but he could not allow the situation to continue the way it
had. Dream suppressants were meant to be taken on occasion, not three or four
times a weeks which was how often he saw Alex since she had come on board the
Maverick. While the drug itself was not addictive, prolonged use of any
chemical would have long term effects on the body.
However,
Nathan was not so much concerned about the physical effects of her dependence
on dream suppressants to get good nights sleep but more her mental condition.
The doctor in him reacted strongly to a person in pain and he could tell that
she suffered greatly but refused to allow anyone to help her. The Captain was
happy to let things stand being just as aware as Nathan regarding what
Cardassians did to their prisoners to have some idea of what she must have
endured as their captive. However, it obvious that her subconscious mind was
playing havoc with her by her repeated nocturnal visits to SickBay.
"Look
you're gonna tell me its none of my business," he started to say, deciding
to hell with hit. He was a doctor and when he saw a patient in obvious pain, he
was going to speak his mind, whether or not his aid was wanted. "But you
need to talk to someone about this. I can't keep giving you dream
suppressants."
Alex knew
she ought to be angry but she was not, not when the advice being given was
produced with such sincere desire to help. Instead, a faint smile stole across
her face and she did something that was most unusual for her. She reached for
his cheeks and said with a smile. "You're a wonderful doctor you
know."
"I'm
still not changing my mind," Nathan replied after a moment, feeling a
little surprise by the gesture. "You need help Alex, you need to talk to
someone about this. Even if it's just to get it out there instead of hiding it
deep so you can forget about it. I'm not a Counselor but even I know the dreams
are just the mind's way of saying it needs to talk, that not all things can
remain buried forever."
He left
her to ruminate on that for a moment as he went to find the pills she would
need to get some sleep without being plagued by nightmares. After a moment he
had found them and faced her again. Alex had not moved from where he left her and
appeared deep in thought until he returned to her. He wondered if she was
really considering his words and hoped that perhaps he might have breached the
stubbornness that was determined to see her endure her demons alone.
"Here."
He handed her the small canister of pills. "You know the drill. Take one a
night. I've given you a week's worth and that's all. After that, we're going to
discuss this on a more formal level."
Alex took
a deep breath and nodded in understanding. Deep inside her, she knew he was
right. This could not continue. The dreams had followed her for the past three
years and showed no signs of abating, if anything they seemed to grow worse
with the passage of time and yet despite all the fear that plagued during her
nights, Alex still could not concede defeat.
"I'm
not ready." She whispered hoarsely and Nathan could see that admission had
been extracted from her almost involuntarily. "I don't know if I'll ever
be ready."
"You'll
never know until you try." He persisted, feeling as if he made some
headway.
"Then
I guess I may never know." She said quickly and walked out of the room
before anything else could be said on the subject.
Nathan
let out a sigh and reminded himself that it was time that he
had talk with Josiah.
********
Chris
Larabee could smell trouble and when he read the latest communication he had
received from Starfleet Command earmarked for Captain's eyes only, he knew that
his nose was still as accurate as ever, even through the vacuum of space.
After, he had read the contents of the priority message and was bombarded with
a number of issues following its content; he considered them deeply in the
confines of his Ready Room. As of yet, he was unprepared at the moment to bring
those issues to the attention of the rest of his crew, save perhaps his first
officer.
It was easy to
forget that whilst they were stationed here on the edge of Federation space and
days away from the nearest starbase, the Alpha Quadrant was presently engaged
in a battle for its survival. The enemy had the power to topple not just the
Federation but also the Klingon and Romulan Empires as well. There were times
when Chris wanted so much to be apart of that great conflict that he could
taste it. Just hearing about the loses being sustained and the friends who were
dying with each battle, made him feel somewhat guilty that he was safely
stationed here so far from the fighting. Of course, he knew he was being
foolish. Their presence on the front lines played an important role in the war
effort. The last thing that the Federation needed while they battled foes from
the Gamma Quadrant was to be caught unawares when the Borg decided to come
calling.
Faced
with the Collective, the Dominion seemed rather tame.
However,
there was plenty to fear from the Dominion and only a fool would consider them
any less dangerous than the Borg. The Dominion threat to the Alpha Quadrant had
emerged with the discovery of a stable wormhole in Bajoran space. The Bajorans
considered the portal that cut short a journey to the Gamma Quadrant that would
normally take 80 years into a matter of minutes, to be nothing less than the
On Deep Space
Nine, the Federation had begun exploring the Gamma quadrant with no idea that
there were dangers on the other side of the wormhole that should have made them
beware. The arrival of the Dominion, whose masters were shape shifters who had
infiltrated the new territories easily, launched the Alpha Quadrant into the
largest military engagement of its history. Even with the combined strength of
the Federation, the Klingon Empire and Romulan Empire, the Dominion held fast
and firm.
This was
mostly due to the aid provided by the Cardassians and the Breen, not to mention
their formidable warrior caste called the Jem Haddar, who were soldiers bred
for war and whose thirst for it was enhanced by a narcotic known as Ketracel
White. Without Ketracel White, the Jem Haddar would die and as of yet the
quantities in the Alpha Quadrant were almost non existent. The greatest
advantage that the allied forces had at the moment was the Dominion could not
replenish the supply of the White since the collapse of the wormhole that led
back to the Gamma Quadrant.
The
document Chris had just received from Starfleet Command could change all that.
The frontier that the Maverick now patrolled was the furthest point from where
the war that was raging between the Federation and the Dominion was taking
place. However, if what he reading was accurate, that focus point could soon
shift and it was very possible that a Dominion invasion fleet was on its way.
Chris had
sent for Buck earlier, uncertain of whether or not he should bring this
information to the rest of the ship just yet. His orders required him to return
to Deep Space Four immediately to deal with the delicate situation he and his
ship would soon be embroiled in. With the war effort raging as it had been with
loses on both sides being considerable, Chris knew that he was on his own and
how he handled the crisis that was brewing would mean the difference between
the survival of the Alpha Quadrant and everything that he knew.
Buck
Wilmington entered his captain's inner sanctum and knew immediately that
something was up. Chris' expression did not change as his first officer walked
in and Buck had known him long enough to understand that something ominous was
on the horizon. Chris glanced his way and gestured with a slight nod for Buck
to sit down, while still staring at the data pad in his hand. The captain was
eased into his chair, ruminating quietly on thoughts Buck was not privy to but
could feel most potently with the intensity in his darkening eyes.
"Chris?"
Buck asked gingerly as he eased himself into the chair across the captain's
desk, knowing that if he were going to get really bad news, he would rather be
comfortable while hearing it.
"I
just got a priority one communication from Starfleet Command." Chris
announced, aware that this would not be of any surprise to Buck since he was on
the bridge with Chris when JD had first made them aware of the incoming
transmission. It had sparked everyone's interest because it was for captain's
eyes only and though protocol kept Buck from asking until Chris chose at his
discretion to reveal the truth, he knew that eventually the captain would bring
him into his confidence.
"Bad?"
Buck asked, wanting to know sooner rather than later.
"Yeah."
Chris nodded slowly. "A Cardassian defector claims that the Dominion
believes that there is a planet out here that produces Ketracel White."
"Jesus
Christ." Buck exclaimed, just as aware as Chris of what the implications
of this could mean. "Where?"
"That
part they aren't sure of." Chris retorted tossing the data pad on his
desk, annoyed that they did not have the most vital part of the puzzle.
"The defector claims that it is out here and that the Dominion may be
intending an invasion of this area to take the planet and control of the
White."
"The
White is the one thing that's holding them back," Buck declared. "If
they get an unlimited supply...."
"You
don't have to tell me." Chris said with a deep breath. "If they get a
supply, they can grow as many Jem Haddar troops as they need and overwhelm the
Alpha Quadrant by sheer numbers. We're barely holding our own as it is, a boost
like this could finish us. We won't have to worry about the Borg."
"Aw
hell," Buck swore under his breath and could appreciate why Chris was so
worried. "So what are our orders?"
"Starfleet
wants us at Deep Space 4 immediately." He replied pushing the data pad at
Buck and offering a slight nod of consent that the first officer could examine
the orders for himself if he liked. "We are to pick up this Cardassian and
find the planet before the Jem Haddar. Once we find it, we are to secure it
until more ships arrive to take our place. They'll set up a planetary defense
shield and keep starships on permanent guard duty around the
system."
"That
still won't stop the Dominion from coming." Buck pointed.
"Well
Starfleet is hoping that the offensive that Captain Sisko of DS9 is planning is
going to keep them busy for awhile." Chris explained. "With the
Romulans on board and the Tholians offering military support, we might be able
to push them back towards Cardassian space. The plan is to force them back into
Cardassian territory and keep them pinned there until they surrender. With the
wormhole closed, they're not getting reinforcements any time soon."
"That's
going to be messy," Buck replied, just as aware of the dangers as Chris.
"They could stay in Cardassian space and burrow in, we could be facing a
war that last years."
"We
are already facing that," Chris pointed out. "This will just confine
it to one place. They've taken Betazed already and they're going to be going
after Vulcan soon, Sisko wants a line drawn."
"So
now we're defending this part of space from the Dominion as well as the
Borg?" The first officer let out a heavy sigh of worry. "Damn
Chris," he gave his old friend a look. "How did it ever get this
bad?"
"I
don't know," Chris shrugged. "But I want to keep this under our hats
for today. Let the crew enjoy the party tonight and tomorrow, we'll hold a
general staff meeting and tell them."
"It
might be an idea to encourage as many civilians as we can to disembark at Deep
Space Four," Buck suggested. "If we run into a Jem Haddar fleet, it
might end up saving some lives."
"I
agree," Chris nodded, involuntarily thinking about Mary and Billy, even
though he knew there was no way he would be able to get the protocol officer to
leave the ship. However, he intended to his level best to persuade her
otherwise nonetheless.
"So any
word on this Cardsassian?" Buck asked.
"Yeah,"
Chris replied and Buck noticed the frown on Chris' face deepening. "He's
supposed to be a Cardassian Gul or something. He was one of those who didn't
hold with the idea of Cardassia joining the war on the Dominion's side and
apparently got shuffled to some dead end job. He got wind of this through some
papers that crossed his desk accidentally and that's how he found out about
this planet."
"Cardassian
huh?" Buck understood Chris' frown now. "Great."
Chris
could not disagree with Buck on that less than optimistic view of their coming
visitor.
The
Cardassians as a race were a slippery bunch who tended to be disliked by most
of the other major races that came across them. During the Border Wars with the
Federation, the Cardassians had ignored all the rules of engagement and had
attacked civilian targets, killing whole families without impunity. The
Klingons considered them to be without honor and the Romulans found their
methods to be somewhat sloppy in comparison to their own ruthless efficiency.
Chris had no particular dislike for the race but found it extremely
uncomfortable that he had to rely on the word of a supposed defector to keep
his ship safe.
When it came
to the Maverick, everyone was suspect.
"Well
I better assign Alex somewhere else for a few days." Buck remarked
offhandedly.
"She's a
professional." Chris said firmly, confident that despite her previous
experience with Cardassians, Alex would comport herself properly.
"Antimatter wouldn't explode if Alex decided that was how it was going to
be, she'll have no trouble putting up with one paper shuffler."
"You
think so?" The first officer's doubt was clear. "We're talking about
a paper shuffler that used to be a Cardassian Gul." He pointed out.
"I'll
talk to her." Chris offered, certain that it was not a necessary
precaution. Alexandra Styles was one of the finest officers he had ever served
with and although she was somewhat infuriating at times, she was completely
capable of handling herself in all situations, Chris had no doubt that this
would be no different.
"No,"
Buck spoke up, knowing how tactful Chris could be about such things and decided
he had better do it himself if he wanted this done right. "I'll do
it. I already piss her off."
"Oh
you do love the tough ones." Chris taunted with a little bit of the devil
in him and then added a little something more, just to infuriate Buck. "So
how's things with Inez? Get anywhere with her yet?"
"With
all due respect captain," Buck said with as much dignity as he could
muster.
"Yeah
Buck?" the captain grinned wickedly.
"Go
sit on torpedo."
Part
Two/
What was
it about Vin Tanner that could reduce her to this?
Alex
looked in the mirror and frowned, not liking one bit the reflection that stared
back at her. How on earth did women of the period go around dressed like this?
Alex had been wearing the garb fashioned specifically for the women of late
1800's for little more than twenty minutes and could not imagine wearing a
costume like this all the time. Despite the sweeping skirt that flounced each
time she moved, the outfit was extremely restrictive. It clung too tightly
around the bodice emphasizing her figure more than she would like and what it
did for her bust line was another thing entirely. Alex looked down and saw that
her cleavage was being extremely prolific and she felt very uncomfortable about
going out like this.
According
to the records, the women of the time wore their hair up and thus a quick trip
to the ship's salon (amazingly enough Galaxy class starships had one) had seen
her dark hair piled on top of her head with loose strands resting gently over
her exposed neck. Alex supposed she looked as if she would fit in with theme of
the party in the royal blue dress and prayed nothing would happen during the
celebration that would require her on the bridge in this costume. Adding the
finishing touches to her look, she had dabbed a bit of that expensive perfume
she had picked up during their last visit to a starbase when she heard someone
at her door.
The chime
rang softly as usual and Alex swore under her breath when she turned away from
the mirror and almost tripped on the long skirt, forgetting for a second what
she was wearing and had made a mental note to remember how to walk in this
thing. Reaching the door, she knew who was behind it and noted that as always,
he was terribly punctual. Even though humans raised Vin, there were some things
about him that were genetically Vulcan. He kept time better than no man she
knew.
The doors slid
open and his eyes widened as he caught sight of her.
For a
minute, Vin Tanner said nothing and simply stared because he had never seen
Alex so....he struggled for the right word, so female. Of course he knew
that she was a woman but until this moment, he never realised how much.
Everything about her was different and the exposure of her neck normally
concealed behind the high collars of Starfleet issue uniforms tantalized his
eyes as he followed its length down to the full breasts that were partly
revealed within the tight dress she was wearing. He was almost fascinated
enough to reach down and touched them if he did not know for certain that he
would be slapped in outrage.
Alex
noticed his reaction. It was rather difficult not too and rolled her eyes
before remarking with her hands on her hips. "And today you are man."
She said sarcastically and smacked him on the side of his arm. "Hey, my
face is up here?"
Vin
looked up and went red involuntarily. "I'm sorry." He stuttered.
"I just never seen you look so much like a girl."
Alex gave
him a look and shook her head. "Please stop it, I can't take much more of
this smooth flattery."
Vin
cleared his throat and could not help himself from continuing to stare at her,
even though he tried to do it more discreetly this time. "You look
nice." He managed to say as she stepped out of her quarters and they made
their way to the holodeck where the party was taking place.
"Thank
you," she smiled warmly because that was a more preferable response to his
initial reaction. For his part, Vin looked very much like the part he was meant
to play as one of the seven gunmen in Buck's Magnificent Seven holodeck
program. Dressed in a buckskin jacket that utterly suited him, he seemed
comfortable because he was able to hide in it. Despite herself, she found him
ruggedly handsome and let out a sigh because despite his fascination with her
form earlier, he was hardly in the position to do anything about it. In truth,
knowing that Vin was a sexually immature Vulcan was very liberating because she
did not have to worry about his constantly trying to hit on her like Buck
Wilmington.
They were
friends and it was just the way Alex liked it.
************
The party
was in full swing by the time the captain arrived.
He always
seemed to capture everyone's attention when he walked into a room, most of the
time as captain but today it was different because he played the part of the
imposing man in black. Chris was pleased to see that the crew was enjoying
themselves as he moved deeper into the holodeck recreation of the tavern that
Inez had selected to hold the celebration. There was a four piece band playing
in one corner of the room, filling the air with its quaint but top tapping
rhythm that had actually inspired some people to try their hand or feet at the
dances that were fashionable for the time.
"Hey that
looks fun." Mary remarked as she breezed into the room at his arm.
Fortunately, this no longer raised eye brows as it once had among the crew as
they were accustomed to the way things stood between the captain and the
protocol officer. He could not blame them for looking though. Mary was wearing
a simple lavender colored dress with her long hair worn around her shoulders,
styled only by the hair clip that held some locks in place and by Chris'
reckoning, she had never looked lovelier. If she really had existed back in the
Old West, Chris had no doubt he would be fighting gun battles with would be
suitors for her hand all the time.
Fortunately in
the present, he could just have them transferred or ejected out the nearest
torpedo bay, whatever was most convenient.
Mary was
staring in the direction of Julia and Ezra who were dancing and even though the
pace of the song was fast, the duo were moving together slowly, gazing into
each other eyes with obvious affection. Between his cynicism and sardonic
manner and her bright and optimistic attitude to everything, they were an
interesting couple. They spent most of their time together bickering but
everyone on the ship knew their relationship burned fiercer than the warp
core.
"You would
put me through that?" Chris looked at her with a smile.
"If I can
get into this outfit for you," Mary glanced down at her dress that though
appeared to be very becoming, was rather cumbersome. "I think you can
indulge me in a dance."
"I thought
Vulcan wives were supposed to be compliant and obedient." He remarked with
a brow raised and a hint of mischief.
"Well I've
been slumming lately," she retorted.
"Okay,"
he conceded defeat. "One dance, just let me talk to Buck first."
Chris replied glancing in the direction of the bar where the first officer of
the Maverick was continuing his quest for the Holy Grail called Inez.
Mary understood
the look in his eye enough to know that whatever he intended discussing with
Buck was not related to the party but rather ship's business. "Sure,"
she offered him one of those killer smiles that had the power to melt his heart
in one flash of radiance. "I have to go see William's school teacher
anyway," Mary replied. "I think I saw her when we were coming
in."
"The new
one?" Chris asked.
"Yes,"
Mary nodded as she began to pull away from him. "Audrey."
"I'll be
at the bar," he called out to her and strode towards the counter in a
matter of seconds, greeting other crew men on the way and took special note of
where JD and Casey were. The ensign was at a table in a forgotten corner of the
room with his yeoman, mooning over each other the way young couples their age
tended to do. Chris suddenly felt a protective surge of paternal concern that
made him want to go over there and remind JD that unless he did not want to
spend the next year cleaning the EPS conduits in the Waste Recycling system of
the ship, he had better treat Casey right.
"Come on
Inez," Buck was pleading as Chris arrived at the bar. "Just have one
date with me."
"Buck,"
Inez frowned, deciding she would just have to come out and say this since she
could think of no other way to put the first officer of the Maverick straight
about her feelings regarding dating him in any shape of form. "I am in a
relationship already."
Buck's
expression was nothing less than crestfallen and Chris was shocked to realize
that the visage on his old friend's face was not one that was customary to
being rejected but rather that of genuine disappointment. With a sudden start,
Chris realised that there was more to his affection for Inez Recillos than his
usual attitude of bedding everything that moved. Buck really liked this
woman.
"Is he on
the ship?" Buck asked, trying to sound as if he did not have his heart
ripped out of his chest.
"No,"
Inez shook her head. "He's the Captain of the Venture." She
replied.
Both men
blinked. "You mean Raphael Castille?"
"You know
him?" Inez looked at them both with surprise.
"Yeah,"
Chris nodded. "I know him. We were at the Academy together." He could
not imagine what a small world it was even if there were so much space outside
this ship. "He's a good man."
The Venture was
an Intrepid class starship made solely for the purpose for combat duty. She was
a highly maneuverable craft with quantum torpedo ports and had spent the
duration of Dominion War on the front lines of the battle. If Inez was engaged
in a relationship with Captain Castile, Chris could very well understand why
Castille would rather she be stationed on a ship like the Maverick, far removed
from the battle and the danger he must be facing on a daily basis on the
Dominion front lines.
"Well it’s
a long distance relationship," Buck declared with a grin, never one to
give up no matter how untenable the situation might appear at first glance.
"It can't last."
Inez met
Chris' gaze and rolled her eyes in resignation. "What can I get you
Captain?" She asked with a sigh instead, deciding that she would just
ignore this conversation or else her head would start to hurt and as the
bartender of the evening for this little soiree, that simply would not do.
"Whiskey,
neat." Chris replied with a smile, offering her the silent agreement that
she was probably right about terminating the conversation with Buck, although
Chris had every intention of finding out just how deep his oldest friend's
about the woman went once they were alone.
"Be
careful there Captain," Buck warned as he took a sip of what he was
drinking. "Miss Inez is not serving synthehol but the genuine
product."
"Even
better," Chris grinned, not having much liking for synthehol produced
whiskey. It just did not have the same edge to it.
As Inez
went to fill his order, Chris sidled up next to Buck and took the stool next to
his first officer before they got down to discussing a subject that was not
entirely related the social event taking place around them. "I just got
word back from Starfleet Command," Chris lowered his voice and Buck
instinctively closer to hear what he was saying. "Apparently, a Romulan
warbird was captured by the Dominion a month ago. The crew was taken off the
ship alive and have since been returned on the basis of a prisoner exchange but
the warbird is still in Dominion hands."
"What
does that mean?" Buck asked nervously, even though he thought he had a
very good idea what the Dominion might want with a Romulan warbird.
"It means
that they might have taken it apart to discover how to build a cloak around
their ships. If that's the case and in the time frame we're taking about, we
could have a handful of cloaked ships leading the invasion of the system that
may have the Ketracel White."
Both men
stopped talking as Inez returned and the bar tender looked at them long enough
to know whatever was being discussed did not require her presence and thus
withdrew quickly, allowing them to resume their conversation. "Hell
Chris," Buck whispered. "They could sneak a fleet through Federation
space without anyone being the wiser."
"I
know," Chris nodded ruefully. "That's why I'm allowing this little
get together," he answered, allowing his gaze to sweep over the faces in
the room enjoying themselves, laughing and dancing, with no idea of what was
coming at them in warp speed with the arrival of the new day. "Let them
have some fun because tomorrow, we go on full tactical alert."
"Good
idea." Buck agreed with the captain's reasoning and felt strongly that the
crew should have one evening to blow off some steam because being at full
tactical alert tended to run people ragged, even the civilians on board. He had
a feeling that everyone was going to feel the pressure of a Dominion presence
once the news got out about the White. Deciding that a change of subject might
be in order since captain and first officer needed some down time as well
before they faced the challenges of the next few days, Buck looked around and
saw Mary talking to the new school teacher, Audrey King.
"Mary
looks great." Buck commented and immediately saw a surge of affection in
Chris' gaze, as the captain glimpsed her way. No one was happier than Buck at
the budding romance that was forming between the captain and the protocol
officer. Although the relationship saw them closer than friends, Buck was
certain it had not progressed beyond the mutual affection they had for each
other. Buck did not voice it but Mary Travis was a great deal like Sarah,
Chris' deceased wife. Sarah had been strong willed and unafraid to stand up to
Chris and Buck had a feeling that it was this that Chris was so drawn to upon
first meeting Mary, following his initial attraction to how stunning she
looked.
"Yeah,"
Chris said with a smile and then saw Buck keeping his eyes on the lady in
question much longer than he liked and quickly remarked. "Hey, look
somewhere else."
"Oh
what do you take me for?" Buck glared at him with a wounded expression.
"I am just as familiar as the term 'no fly zone' as you." He said
haughtily.
"Its
not like that," Chris bristled, hating it implied that he had some claim
on Mary even though he knew deep down that it was more than a little true. Half
the reason why they came to events like this together and why Chris had allowed
it was mostly because he did not want anyone else paying attention to Mary if
they knew the captain was interested.
"I'm
sure it isn't." Buck answered with a perfectly straight face.
Chris
cast his most scathing glare at Buck and became even more chagrined when it had
absolutely no effect on the first officer. Buck instead, had burst into this
inane grin that used to annoy the hell out of Chris when they were cadets at
the Academy and had not changed one wit throughout the years of their
friendship. "Where's Vin?" Chris asked, in an effort to change the
subject before he was forced to wipe that smirk off Buck's face. "He is
coming right?"
Chris
knew how reclusive Vin could be and even though he had developed a deep
friendship with all the members of the senior staff, large crowds tended to
keep him in the shadows. While Vin might enjoy the Magnificent Seven program
like the rest of them, Chris feared that such large numbers present in the
holodeck for such a wholly social occasion might drive the helmsman to ground.
Chris just hoped Vin understood that if he did not show himself this evening,
his captain might just be determined enough to drag him here by his pointed
Vulcan ears.
"He's
probably picking Alex up." Buck remarked, his attention scanning the room
for potential candidates with whom he could share his evening since it did not
appear as if he would be charming Inez any time soon.
"Picking
her up?" Chris raised a brow at his first officer. "As in a
date?"
"I
don't think a date as such," Buck quickly clarified his words for Chris.
"You know Vin. He wouldn't have any idea what date is let alone go on one.
He's still a kid by Vulcan standards which is probably the reason why he gets
on well with Alex. She knows he's too young to hit on her."
"Not
exactly," Chris pointed out. "We're not sure how old he is. By human
standards, he's a little older than Alex and we're not entirely sure how he is
by Vulcan standards, except that he's younger than most. Its his manner that
makes us think he's a kid."
"You're
probably right," Buck shrugged. "Pity though, that's a fine woman
going to waste."
Chris
shook his head. "I'd give it up if I were you." The captain said with
a smile. "You have a better chance turning lead into gold with your bare
hands than you do with Alex."
What
Chris did not want to admit was that he liked seeing Alex and Vin
together. They were both so wounded in their own way and yet together, they
offered each other something neither had been able to find elsewhere. Even the
relationship was not sexual, Chris had enough feeling for his best friend to know
that Vin cared a great deal for Alex, he just did not know how to express it in
a physical way yet.
As that
thought crossed his mind however, he saw Vin and Alex making an entry and those
who noticed them, in particular Alex, had reason to pause. In their uniforms,
it was so easy for the women of the Maverick to go about unnoticed but as he
had realised when he had first seen Mary tonight, it was more than a pleasant
surprise when they caught the opposite sex's attention. In his mind, Mary was
still the most beautiful woman here but Alex did make a breath or two catch, he
noticed, by the look of every man in the place. Chris did not doubt that there
were more than a few that were dying to be in Vin's place at the moment when
the third officer walked into the holo-deck at the helmsman's arm.
"Like
I said," Buck said with a sigh as he stared at Alex with longing. "A
waste of a fine woman."
Chris
shook his head slowly and decided that Buck was never going to change.
"You're a lost cause." Chris retorted and decided to go find Mary.
After all, he did owe her that dance.
**********
"My
goodness," Ezra Standish exclaimed as he and Julia stepped off the little
space of floor that had been sequestered for those who wished to dance and
approached Vin and Alex who were heading towards the bar. "Is that our
third officer in that charming little frock?"
"Don't
make me hurt you." Alex growled, feeling uncomfortable enough as it is
when she caught sight of some of the stares she had been getting from the men
in the room.
"You
look sensational," Julia commended and nudge Ezra in the ribs to shut up,
knowing that this was a big step for Alex who normally gave such events as wide
berth. "That dress is really something."
"I
look sensational?" Alex scoffed when she regarded the velvet red dress
that Julia was wearing that seemed to accentuate every tight curve in her
petite body and seemed to stand out against her red hair. "You look pretty
good yourself." She remarked.
"Yes,"
Ezra had to agree as he gave Julia an appreciative look. "There are no
words to describe the completeness of your astounding beauty." The
security chief was wearing the garb of a proper southern gentlemen from the
burgundy colored coat to the vest and crisp white shirt. He looked exactly like
a gambler might appear in the Old West. Ezra took her hand and began to smother
soft kisses on her wrist. "I am quite beside myself." He teased as
Julia rubbed her brow, shaking her head.
"Want
to trade?" Julia asked Alex with a mischievous smile.
"Nice
try," Alex grinned, flashing a smile at Vin. "I'm afraid you're stuck
with him."
"I
take umbrage at that remark," Ezra replied with mock hurt. "Now I am
forced to imbibe in order to salve my wounded ego. Mr. Tanner, would you care
to join me?"
"Would
a drink shut you up?" Vin asked with as much humor in his voice as was
being bandied about the group at the moment.
"You
can only hope." Ezra grinned before turning to the two ladies and finding
out what they wanted to drink. In a few second, he and Vin was heading towards
the bar, leaving Alex and Julia to their own devices for the moment.
Once they were
far enough away, Ezra turned to Vin and remarked. "Mr. Tanner, you are the
envy of almost every man in this place."
Vin looked at
the man blankly, unable to fathom why that might be. "You're kidding me
right? Why?" He asked, genuinely perplexed.
Ezra
stared at Vin for a moment, wondering if the Vulcan was joking with him and
then realizing that it was not and of course, why would he have the slightest
concept about what Ezra was talking about? His relationship with Alexandra
Styles was purely platonic. He did not know that there were officers who
whispered behind her back and called her the Ice Queen. Although, now that Ezra
thought about it, if Vin did know, he was most likely to rip the person's head
off who made the unfortunate remark.
"I
apologies Vin," Ezra replied quickly. "I assumed you see her the way
most men on the Maverick see her."
Vin looked over
his shoulder at that statement and wondered what Ezra meant by that. He saw her
as his friend, the one person who had the unerring ability to make him feel
good about himself, who made no judgments, who liked being with him, who
touched him on occasion and did not react as if she were making contact with a
freak. He knew that more than any person on the ship, save for Chris Larabee,
Vin did not want to lose her. When she was with him, he felt warm inside and a
security he had not known since those sun filled days with his foster parents
enveloped him like a warm blanket.
However, Ezra's
statement had just reminded him about how human might view Alex, particularly
human males. He knew enough about them to know that they probably did not see
Alex the way he did and their reaction might be closer to his own behavior a
short time ago, when he had first seen her in that dress. Something
tugged inside him, surfaced out of nowhere before meeting the glass wall of
Vulcan physiology that allowed him to feel nothing else. It angered him a
little.
"I'm not
stupid Ezra," he found himself saying. "I know she's
pretty."
Vin's
description brought a smile to Ezra's face. "I know you are not Vin,"
he said gently. "I simply meant that you are a fortunate that she has
chosen you to base her affections. There is not a man on this ship that would
not want to be in your place at this moment."
"I like
looking at her too." Vin confessed. "Only she's not like me. I'm not
ready for a lot of things," Vin continued to speak and Ezra nodded just
enough to know what he meant by that. "But she must be because of her age
and sometimes it frightens me that she won't care about me any more when she
finds someone who is ready to be what she needs."
"I would
not worry yourself about that," Ezra spoke softly. If even half of what he
knew about Cardassian interrogation techniques were true in regards to how they
dealt with female prisoners, he was not surprised that Alex was drawn to Vin as
she was. He was probably the one male on the ship who could given her the
friendship she desired without expecting more than what she was capable of
giving in return. "I do not think it is a need that Alexandra requires
from you to fill, I think she merely enjoys your company as do the rest of
us." Ezra patted Vin gently on the back.
"Thanks
Ezra," Vin smiled, feeling a little better because he had noticed the
looks Alex had garnered when she walked into the room with him and he worried
that she might be offended that he did not view her with the same desire. He
cared for her, was fascinated by everything she was and knew that if she were
not in his life, he would not be able to stand the loss but he did not desire
her the way men were meant to desire women.
"Vin,"
Ezra took the opportunity to bring up another subject that had been bothering
him the most of today on the bridge following the captain's priority one
transmission from Starfleet. "Have you noticed anything odd in the
behavior of the captain and Commander Wilmington?
Vin fell silent
for a moment and considered the question. He had to admit, he had noticed
something strange following the captain's emergence from the Ready Room
following the receipt of that transmission from Starfleet this morning. He
could sense Chris Larabee almost as well as he could sense Alex. Mary said that
it was due to the emotional bond he shared with the both which allowed him to
have some insight into their feelings. Fortunately, thanks to the protocol
officer's lessons, he could only sense their emotions and not direct thought.
"A
little." Vin admitted. "Chris' seems a lot more tense. Buck
too."
"That is
the same conclusion I reached." Ezra let out a sigh. "I make it a
habit to know what the other man is thinking during my dabblings in games of
chance and I am usually able to sense whether or not there is a make or break atmosphere
in the competition. Thus it is most disturbing for me to say that I note the
same kind of pressure on the captain and first officer as those
instances."
"You think
something is up?" Vin asked, sounding nothing like the unsure young man of
a few minutes and very much like the Starfleet lieutenant he was, not to
mention the Officer of the Con.
"Let us
say I have a bad feeling about this." Ezra replied and knew that he was
seldom wrong about such things. Sometimes, he really hated being reminded that
his mother was right, that he did indeed have a god given talent to spot such
things.
Maude right.
Now Ezra knew he really was in trouble.
Part
Three/
The atmosphere
in the Conference Room the morning after the party was decidedly different from
that which it had been during the gathering on the holo-deck. Although most of
them had seen Nathan about getting something for their aching heads thanks to
the unpleasant side effect of imbibing real alcohol as opposed to synthehol,
the mood was tense because the captain appeared that way. Chris sat at the head
of the long table, allowing his gaze to move across the men and women he
considered more than just subordinates but close personal friends. Even though
it had been little under three months since they had began serving together,
Chris could not deny how quickly it took for this group of separates to become
a team. A word he seldom used when describing the group dynamic surfaced in his
mind as he regarded them from this vantage point and that word was family.
When everyone
was finally settled in and staring his way to begin, Chris cleared his throat
and exchanged a brief glimpse with Buck before he assumed the persona of
captain once more and began revealing to his crew what he had learnt yesterday
during his transmission from Starfleet Command. No doubt, some were curious and
others like Vin and Ezra who were looking at him as if they were perfectly
aware that he was far more tense than usual, had some idea that the news was not
good.
Well in this
instance, their instincts were correct.
"As some
of you know, I received a priority one transmission from Starfleet Command
yesterday for captain's eyes only." Chris began.
A few glances
were exchanged at that revelation, mostly between Josiah, Mary and Nathan who
were not required to be on the bridge all the time and would not have been
present at the time of the incoming transmission. The others were not surprised
and waited in anticipation of his continuing.
"The
transmission informed me that the Maverick was to set course for Deep Space
Four." Chris revealed.
This too, was
of no surprise to those before him because the captain had requested a course
change yesterday but it seemed rather routine since they had been out in the
frontier for almost a month and half. There was need to replenish supplies as
well as offer some of the crew some well needed shore leave in between the
usual transfers and departures that often took place at a major intersection
such as Deep Space Four. However, hearing that the captain had another reason
for bringing them to the station made everyone share in Ezra and Vin's insight
that something was big was on the horizon, waiting revelation with each word
they awaited from Chris Larabee's lips.
"Once
there we will be receiving a guest, a Cardassian defector." Chris remarked
and immediately glanced at Alex.
Alex flinched
but made no reaction. As a Starfleet officer there was no way she was going to
avoid seeing a Cardassian these past three years. Although relations between
the Federation and Cardassia had not been warm even before the Dominion's
arrival into the Alpha quadrant, an uneasy tolerance had formed which allowed
her to come across a member of the race since her escape from the prison.
Glancing at the others, she displayed a mask of cool indifference at the
captain's news, wanting them to know that she was fine. It was no secret to
anyone who wanted to pull her service record that she had been incarcerated in
a Cardassian prison. While she was not happy about that knowledge being a
matter of public record, it only stated that she was a prisoner and nothing
else.
The details of
that private hell were still hers and hers alone.
It was mostly
concern she saw in the eyes of the others, in particular Vin who was very
worried about how she was going to take being near a Cardassian. He need not
have worried and she intended to show them all that she was not be reduced to
hysterics at the first sign of the race which spawned the men who had.... who
had kept her captive.
"No doubt
someone who probably did not agree with the present Cardassian-Dominion
alliance," she said coolly, giving them all a clear indication that she
was completely all right with this news.
A silent sigh
of relief followed at that response and Chris nodded slightly, not simply in
agreement with her statement but also in approval of how she was comporting
herself following that bit of information regarding the mission ahead. Secured
in the belief that she was more than capable of handling herself around a
Cardassian, Chris continued once again. "At this time, we have no details
on his identity yet, since Starfleet is considering this highly sensitive
information. However, the defector who is placed at the command headquarters of
the present regime, claims that approximately three days ago, he received a
communication that places a planet in this sector of space having White."
The reaction
around the room was almost instantaneous.
"Good
Lord." Ezra let out a gasp. "Are we absolutely certain on this?"
"We're
certain of nothing." Buck volunteered. "All we know for sure is that
the Dominion believes it."
"So
they're coming." Vin stated guessing the danger that all this discussion
was leading to. His exclamation made everyone fall silent as they looked to
Chris for confirmation of that terrible possibility.
As much as
Chris would like to deny it, he could not. Vin was dead right. "Yes,
they're coming and at this time we have no ETA on that, except that the
Maverick is going to have to find this planet first because the Dominion know
only that its out here, not where."
"Captain,"
Alex let out a worried sigh. "There's a lot of space out there to search.
Does this Cardassian know where about in this area this planet or system might
be?"
"Not
really," Chris answered honestly and saw Alex stiffening because that
meant she would have to start searching through every system they've charted in
the last three months and hopefully discover what they were looking for."
"If they
don't know where this planet is," Mary spoke up. "Isn't it rather
risky for them to launch a strike?" She inquired, just aware of the
current situation that existed between the Dominion and the Alpha quadrant.
"This is some distance from the Bajoran wormhole, not to mention Cardassian
space."
Chris nodded
slowly. "A month ago, the Romulan warbird Tasmeen engaged
two Jem Haddar and Cardassian warships. The Jem
Haddar smuggled a shape shifter on board the warbird during the battle when the
shields were down. When it looked like the enemy was going to win, the shape
shifter killed the Romulan commander before he could set off the
auto-destruct."
"They've
got their hands on Warbird!" Julia cried out aghast.
"Apparently
so." Chris met the Engineer's gaze. "Starfleet believes they're already
attempting to outfit their ships with a cloak."
"Terrific."
Vin exclaimed. "Not only are they coming after us, we may not see them
until its too late and under cloak, they'll be able to search the sector
without us being any wiser."
"That's
right." Chris replied, unable to deny Vin's grim forecast of things.
"Suffice to say, we have a situation on our hands."
"I don't
understand," Josiah spoke up for the first time. "What is this
White?"
As a
psychiatrist, Josiah could be forgiven for not knowing what they were talking
about. He had been listening to the discussions, understanding the danger but
not understanding why.
"Ketracel
White is a narcotic drug." Nathan explained for the Counselor's benefit.
"The Jem Haddar are genetically engineered warriors created by the
Founders, the shape shifters who are in charge of the Dominion. Since the
Founders needed to control them, they were created with a natural addiction to
the substance called Ketracel White. Without it, they will go into withdrawal
but not without taking trying to kill anyone around them first. Without the
White, they are not too discriminating on who they slaughter."
"Photon
torpedoes." Alex said suddenly. "That's how we see them."
"What?"
Chris looked at her sharply. "What did you say?"
"A high
yield photon torpedo at Level 6 detonation." She repeated herself.
"But at
Level 6..." Ezra started to say when Julia interrupted.
"Enterprise
D and the Romulan blockade during the Duras War?" Vin looked at the
science officer for confirmation.
"Yes,"
Alex nodded at the helmsman with a smile. "If they're adapting Romulan
cloaking technology for their ships, then they must have the same
weaknesses." She pointed out.
"I
remember this," Chris realised what she was talking about now.
"Enterprise D discovered the influence of Romulan agents in the Klingon
Civil War. As you know the Klingons consider Romulans blood enemies and when
they discovered that one faction had Romulan allies that more or less ended the
civil war and established the current government on Kronos. If I remember
correctly, Picard instigated a blockade at the Neutral Zone to ensure that no
shipment of armaments were being delivered to the Duras faction by
Romulans."
"That's
right," Julia recalled the data she had read. "One of the ships in
the blockade released a high yield photon torpedo at Level 6."
"But Level
6 won't even penetrate a warbird's shields." JD protested.
"No,"
Ezra agreed. "But the purpose is not to penetrate the shields merely to
create enough of a power surge to affect the shields in other ways, for example
overloading the cloak so substantially that they will become visible."
"Well,"
Chris said with a smile, always feeling a great deal of pride whenever he saw
his officers' brain storming like this. They were at their best when things
were at their worst and moment like this allowed them to shine like nothing
else. "Julia, I want you to start modifying our torpedoes for high yield
detonation at Level 6. If need be, I want to cover as wide an area as possible
when we deploy them. We don't know how many ships the Jem Haddar will be
sending after us so I don't want to be flying blind."
"I'll get
started on them immediately." The Chief Engineer nodded.
Ever since he
had received this information, Chris had been working hard trying to decide how
his ship would face this threat and upon doing so had come up with a
preliminary set of instructions for everyone to get started. "Mary,"
he turned to the protocol officer with no hint in his voice that she meant more
to him personally. "I want you to start pouring over the books on
protocol. If we find this place first, we're going to have to negotiate some
kind of treaty. If this planet is pre-warp, we're going to have to find some
way to work around the Prime Directive."
"The Prime
Directive cannot be worked around Chris." Mary said automatically.
"Then
you're going to have to be doubly creative because I can guarantee you, its not
going to stop the Dominion from invading there and for all our sakes, we need
to get to the planet first."
Mary let out a
sigh, troubled by just how complicated this was going to get. "I'll do
what I can." She answered after a moment and meant it because she was not
going to let policy decide all their futures if she could not figure some way
to bend the rules without breaking it.
"Nathan,"
Chris turned around. "If we go into battle with the Jem Haddar, I want
random blood tests carried out after the engagement, especially if our shields
go down for any reason."
"Is that
really necessary?" Nathan asked even though he knew that it probably was
if Chris wanted it so."
"Yes it
is," Chris met all their gazes. "We're not letting a shape shifter
loose on the Maverick because if the time comes and we find ourselves in the
same situation as the captain of the Tasmeem,
nobody is taking my ship as a trophy." He said with a deadly edge to his
voice.
"Alex,
stellar cartography is one of the departments that report to you," Chris
turned to the science officer. "We need to find this planet before the Jem
Haddar and Cardassian alliance."
"Well
we've charted a bit of new territory since the beginning of our mission
here," Alex said neutrally. "We'll start going through our data with
fine tooth comb and see if we can't track down a planet or a spacial body
exhibiting surface scans consistent with Ketracel White. We have no idea how
reliable the defector's information is so I would rather not confine our search
to just a planet. I realize it takes more time but our success rate will
be higher with those parameters."
"Agreed,"
Buck nodded. "We have no idea how the defector has come by his information
we can't assume too much. Information has a tendency to change with the
telling."
"Okay,"
the captain agreed with that assessment from both senior officers. "Get
started right away Alex."
"Aye
Sir," she answered as Chris turned his attention to Josiah and prepared to
bring up a very unpleasant subject but nonetheless one he had to bring forward
to the table in light of the threat and the odds they were facing.
"Josiah,"
the captain raised his eyes to meet that of the Counselor's, " I want you
to talk to every crewmen on board with family beginning today. Discuss with
them the possibility of disembarking for a time while we are Deep Space 4.
Chances are we'll be going to battle against an overwhelming enemy. We have
reinforcements poised to join us but they're some time away. Until those
starships get here, we are all that stands between the Dominion getting
themselves a new supply of White."
"I would
concur with the captain on this Counselor," Ezra added his voice to
support Chris on this decision. As security chief, he was going to have enough
difficulty defending the ship against a fleet of Jem Haddar and Cardassian
warships without worrying about the civilians on board. If that burden could be
eased in any way, Ezra was all for it. "If it comes to a fight, I would
rather that children be elsewhere. We have no idea what is the Dominion policy
towards civilians captured as prisoners of war and I would rather we not find
out."
"It has been
found that the Dominion has adopted Cardassian policy to prisoners of war
except in very specific circumstances." Alex found herself entering the
conversation even though she did not wish to speak on this particular subject.
Unfortunately, she had no choice. Alex would not see anyone go through the
nightmare of becoming a prisoner in Cardassian jail. Mary, Julia, even Casey
meant too much to her for Alex to remain silent about what could happen to
them. Besides, Josiah had to understand and he to make others understand what
it was they were facing by remaining.
"Cardassians
do not adhere to the rules of the Khitomer Accord in relation to the treatment
of prisoners of war. If they have civilians in their custody they will treat
them in the same manner as Starfleet officers," She forced herself to
speak and found herself trembling slightly until she felt Vin's hand under the
table take her hand in a show of support. Alex offered him little smile as she
paused to regain her composure. "The Cardassians have a different policy
regarding gender in relation to their interrogation techniques. They are not
concerned with the age difference of their prisoners only the gender. So if a
Cardassian captures a little girl, she will be treated in same way as a female Starfleet
officer. The purpose is not only to interrogate and extract information but
also to demoralize the enemy."
She paused a
moment and knew she had to say it no matter how offensive it was to her, no
matter much the exposure was terrifying but they simply had to know what
was at risk. "They have," she swallowed as he courage failed her
momentarily.
"Alex its
alright," Vin said immediately, deciding enough was enough. "You
don't have to...."
"Rape
camps." The word escaped her like a strained gasp. "Cardassians have
rape camps for female prisoners of war."
The room went
deadly silent and no one could say a word.
"There are
precedents," she continued, looking at no one as she spoke. "During
the Slavic War of Earth in the 20th century, the country called
"Jesus
Christ." Buck Wilmington whispered in a hoarse exclamation.
Chris felt his
jaw tighten and realised this was what Alex had never been able to tell anyone
until now. It was always assumed that she had been tortured like all the other
Starfleet officers who had fallen into the custody of Cardassian forces. They
spoke of atrocities but they had all been men and the women seldom spoke at
all. Until now, Chris had never known why. As he heard her speak and saw the
dark wells of her eyes unable to see anything else in face of that tremendous
revelation, he realised there was only one thing more terrifying to her than
what had happened and that was letting it happen again.
And being just
as powerless to stop it.
Chris had read
Alex's psyche reports and thus about the nightmares, about her near catatonic
state when she had been recovered by Pakled freighter in that Cardassian escape
pod. There was other information sealed away from him by Alex herself,
information that was guarded under the Privacy Act since nothing contained had
to do with her service as an officer. He looked silently at Josiah and saw the
normally serene features of the Counselor hard like duranium. Chris knew the
look very well and though it was rare, it was nonetheless unmistakable. Josiah
was barely able to conceal his outrage.
On Mary, he saw
her eyes glistening with sympathy and shock. It was rare that she was so
shaken. Life on Vulcan had allowed her to be controlled with her emotions but
the expression on her face was a thousand kinds of astonishment mixed with
disgust and stomach turning horror. Her hand was partially covering her mouth
and he offered her a silent reassurance that he would die first before allowing
such a fate to befall her
Nathan was
staring at Alex, as if some great mystery had been solved and among the
satisfaction of his questions was an expression of understanding for the
science officer. Chris could appreciate that, aware that Alex had been making
use of quite a number of dream suppressants and Nathan had recommended that
eventually she would have to get counseling. Chris had ignored the request
because he knew Alex would never agree to it and he was of the belief that a
person had a right to deal with the demons on their own. Lord knows a Counselor
would have done him little good after he had lost Adam and Sarah.
Buck could not
say anything but the fists clenched on the table told Chris plenty. Ezra kept
looking at Julia and for once that poker face was nowhere to be seen as his
worry for Julia became apparent for all to see. JD was merely shocked, unable
to believe that civilized races conducted themselves so appallingly. Julia was
just as shaken as Mary but she was trying hard to control her fear.
And there was
Vin.
The helmsman
said nothing and would not because his thoughts were private and only Chris
could tell at the moment, how much that unflappable expression was truly
hiding. Chris noticed Vin's hand intertwined with Alex's under the table and
knew that was as much as he would express in this room and was glad for it.
There were some things that were unspeakable and this was. Alex was looking at
the table in front of her, unable to face anyone and Chris felt a wealth of
admiration for her knowing that she had brought this forward because they needed
to know despite the personal difficulty.
"I trust
you will make our position clear to the civilians, Josiah." Chris finally
broke the silence.
"You can
count on it." Josiah nodded.
To the others,
Chris had one thing to say. "We'll blow the ship first before we allow
anyone to be taken."
Because for the
first time, Chris had just discovered that there were things far worse than
death.
And this was
it.
Part
Four/
Alex was the
first one out the Briefing Room when the meeting was over. She had to get out
of the room because suddenly, she felt its wall closing in on her and she could
not breathe. She wished she could be in the fresh open air to catch her breathe
but since they were presently traveling through the stars, it was more or less
a foregone conclusion that the vacuum of space would not provide what she
needed. She became aware of footsteps following her and did not look behind her
to know that it was Vin. No doubt, he was filled with questions and while she
had appreciated how he had been so supportive during the briefing, she had no
intention of being interrogated.
Speaking about
it was bad enough. It was perhaps the first time in almost three years that she
had been able to refer to the subject with another human being, let alone a
room full of people. If truth was known, she cared for the crew of the Maverick
more than any other she had ever served with. Each of them in their own way
meant too much to Alex for her to allow them to continue with the ignorance
that death was the worst that could happen to them when they faced the Dominion
and by extension their Alpha Quadrant allies, the Cardassians.
As soon as the
meeting was over, she had practically run out of the room, not wishing to have
any more reason to discussion what had been the most horrific experience of her
life. She had spoken about it enough for today and wanted to disappear into her
quarters and sit in the dark for a few hours, so she could finally stop this
heart inside her chest from pounding with its rhythm of panic. Of course while
the others were smart enough to allow Alex her privacy, Vin Tanner was
completely different matter.
She knew he
wanted to help and a small part of her wanted to let him. However to be of any
comfort to her, Vin would have to know the truth in all its entirety and that
was something Alex could not bring herself to tell anyone, especially him. The
very idea of Vin knowing what had happened in that Cardassian prison was so
horrifying that she almost doubled over and retched at the shame of it. There
was only other time she had been so unbelievably frightened of the truth
reaching another's ears had been when her father had come to see her in that
hospital and asked her to confide in him. It had a lot to do with why she had
not been able to face him since that day.
"Alex!
Wait up." Vin's lazy voice sliced through her frantic thoughts.
"Leave
alone me Vin." She warned as she continued up the corridor in long
forceful strides, meaning it when she had asked him to leave her alone. She did
not want to hear comforting words that said it will be all right, that time
would heal all wounds. It had been three years and she still found herself
hiding under her bed when the nightmares became so bad she could not distinguish
between reality and the past that haunted her at every waking moment.
"Alex,"
he grabbed her arm in an effort to stop her from running. She never had to run
from him, ever. He had once felt the anguish inside her soul and had not
understood what could be the reason for such deep abiding pain. Even though the
meld had been unintentional, Vin had not regretted their mental joining because
even though her soul was filled with pain, it was still her soul and it warmed
him inside just being able touch in with his own. "You're all twisted
inside, you need to talk about it."
"No!"
She pulled her arm away and whirled around, glaring at him with a look in her
eyes that bordered on manic. "You listen to me. I do not have to talk
about anything! Do you understand? Nothing! You cannot have even the slightest
concept of what it was like. They took everything inside of me that was good
and pure and covered it with their filthy. I will not relive that nightmare by
talking to you, to a Counselor or anyone else!"
Vin did not
know what to do. It was clear that she did not want his help but he felt torn
between his feelings for her and her right to privacy. "You don't have to
talk about it." He stammered in response, not as sure about this as he was
a moment ago when he had decided to come after her even though the rest of the
bridge crew had the sense to give the science officer a wide berth. In truth,
they were just as shaken to hear what fate might befall the female members of
the crew if they were unable to stop the Jem Haddar or worse yet fell captive
to them during the conflict. "I just thought...."
"I know
what you thought," she cut him off savagely, seeing the sympathy in his
eyes and hating him so much for feeling that. He knew! Without her even
saying it, no matter how vague she had been, Alex knew with despair that he
knew! It made her angry and tears threatened to escape her eyes when she turned
that rage outward and vented it in an effort to salvage her dignity. "I
said what I had to in there because the others have to know but I'll tell you
right now, if we find ourselves in the same situation, if I for one minute
think the Cardassians are going to take me alive, I will kill myself first you
hear me? I will never go through that again. I would rather die first." With
that, she turned on her heels and continued walking.
This time, Vin
had the sense to let her go.
**********
The officer of
the con found himself seated in the observation deck a short time later,
nursing a hot cup of chocolate and staring out at the stars, hoping that
perhaps the sight of all that beauty might give him some answers. Why would she
not his help? They could always talk about everything. When he had first come
aboard the Maverick and was terrified about being on a ship with almost a thousand
people, it was Alex that had helped him to overcome his natural shyness. She
had done so being his friend first and then evolving the warmth she projected
into his life as more than just that.
Her service
record was available on the ship's records and Vin had investigated enough into
her background without being invasive to know that Alex had suffered some
terrible ordeal at the hands of the Cardassians but until the Briefing Room, he
had never imagined just how horrible that could be. He supposed it was an alien
thought to him, forcing a woman just to feel some physical pleasure. As a
Vulcan whose sexuality had yet to emerge, he had never experienced naked lust
to be able to understand how it could steal the sense from any being so
radically that they could not tell what was right or wrong.
Yet the
Cardassians had done it to Alex. They had forced her and destroyed the person
she was by their touch. .
With a hint of
guilt, Vin could not deny that he had entertained the same thoughts. He had
often wanted to touch her but not if she did not wish it of course. He closed
his eyes and imagined what it would be like to be able to touch her, to feel
the luster of her smooth skin under his hands, to feel her soft breath close to
his ear. When she had kissed him during that incident with
When she had
been yelling at him, he was at a loss to explain why the emotions he sensed
from her seemed to burn hotter at the notion of his awareness of her situation.
Why did she take it so personally that he knew? Vin had thought that it would
be easier that way, at least then she would not have to bear the horror of telling
him when he already understood. But it had not happened that way; she was that
he had bridged the gulf of her despair, if anything it had made her angrier.
Vin was at a loss to understand it.
"You
okay?" Buck Wilmington's voice suddenly announced the first officer's
presence.
"I'm
fine." Vin looked up at the taller man who approached him casually and
took the seat across him a moment later. Vin felt a pang of disappointment when
he remembered that was where Alex usually sat when they were up here.
"You look
it." Buck responded with total disbelief in his voice and just as much of
the emotion in his face. "Someone reported hearing Alex screaming her head
off a while ago on Deck 4 and as near as I can figure it, the only person brave
enough, not to mention stupid enough, to not leave her alone after what we
heard during the briefing, would be you."
Vin stiffened
in annoyance at Buck's accurate depiction of events especially when the man was
right and decided he might as well forego the bother of denying any of it.
"She told me to butt out in no uncertain terms." The younger man
sighed.
"Well I'm
not surprised." Buck said gently, seeing no need to bait Vin any more when
he was genuinely hurting inside. "You grab a tiger by the tail, you are
going to get bit."
"I don't
understand," he looked at the older man, hoping the first officer might
have an answer. "I don't care what happened to her with the Cardassians. I
just wanted her to know that I want to help her."
"Vin,"
Buck let out a sigh. "On this ship, there is no one that Alex's cares
about more than you. You're the one person she lets in as far anyone can
get in. She cares about the ship and about the rest of us but its you whose got
the keys to her heart, we all know it. Just like we know that Chris sees Mary
as more than just a protocol officer. It's a special thing to have in your
hands. A man waits a lifetime for a woman like this to come along. One who just
looks at you and couldn't care less who you had been or even what you are, just
that to her you'll always be special."
Vin considered
Buck's words and knew that he was right. Alex did make feel that way all the
time. From the moment he had come aboard the Maverick, she had made those first
few days tolerable when all he wanted to do was hide from everyone. Alex had
convinced him that being who he was should matter to no one but himself and to
hell with those who had an opinion on something that was none of their business
anyway.
"Then why
won't she talk to me?" Vin demanded, frustration showing clearly in his
face as he tried to understand. "If she cares so much about me, why won't
she let me help her?"
It was so easy
to forget that even though he was a thirty-year-old man, Vin was really much
younger. The differences between Vulcan and human physiology saw to that. His
contact with women was limited because of his early days trapped on that
forgotten planet with only the people who adopted him as their own for company.
He spent the better part of his life robbed of the experiences that should have
made him capable of dealing with humans and now more than ever it showed.
"Someday
Vin, there will come a time between you two when you too aren't just friends
any more." Buck said gingerly, not wishing to be too blunt but Vin had to
know what Alex was probably thinking in order to keep the Vulcan from doing
something that really hurt their relationship by his misplaced desire to help.
"When I said you get the key to a woman's heart and she looks at you
thinking that there ain't nothing you could to make her think badly about you,
it goes the other way. There are assholes out there who can't help wondering if
a woman did not somehow deserve what happened to her and I think Alex is afraid
that you might think that way if she talked to you about it."
"That's
ridiculous." Vin said immediately. "I could never think that. As it
is, I feel going out and kicking the crap out of the next Cardassian I
see."
"In that
case, you will not be on the bridge when our 'guest' arrives." Buck said
with a little smile.
"You know
what I mean." Vin frowned.
"I
do," Buck responded with a gesture of apology. "Can't say I blame
you. When I heard what she told us, I was just as mad as hell."
In fact, what
Buck did not mention but was almost damned sure of without having to hear the
other says it, that the other men in the room were similarly infuriated. No who
ever loved a woman could listen to that report without feeling some measure of
outrage. True, they were all soldiers in the strictest sense of the word, once
you got past the uniform and the shiny hardware around which they were
surrounded and as soldiers, each of them knew there were rules to warfare. The
Klingons followed it, the Romulans followed it, hell even the Gorn followed it
but the Cardassians had proven from the moment they annexed the spiritual world
of Bajor that they cared little for the conventions of other civilizations and
allowed barbarism to rule the day.
As brutal as
the Klingons were, they respected the enemy as warriors in the field and while
the Romulans would extract information in whatever necessary should fall into
their hands, there were certain lines that they did not cross for they were a
graceful and elegant race in all things. After what he had heard today, Buck
doubted he would ever view the Cardassians in quite the same way again.
"So what
do I do?" Vin asked.
"Nothing."
The older man said calmly. "Don't do anything. There are some things that
a person has to accept and this is one of them. Alex is the only one who can
decide how this is gonna go and though I know its tough for you to swallow it
that's how its got to be."
Vin's frown
deepened across his face, mostly because he knew the first officer was right.
He could not force Alex into accepting his support and if she did not want his
help then as her friend, he was going to have to respect her wishes. However
even as he thought that, Vin knew that something was coming over the horizon
that they could not see.
And whatever it
was, Vin was sure Alex was going to be right in the middle of it.
**********
When Josiah
Sanchez asked to see Chris inside the captain's ready room, he had a feeling an
ominous premonition as to what would be the nature of the meeting. Despite the
fact that Josiah had valid reasons for making the request Chris was sure he was
certain to make, the captain could see himself being unable to grant it when it
was finally made of him. Although it was standard practice for the Counselors
to have their way in such matters since by this day and age, starship captains
had recognized the value of a healthy mind as well as body, Chris knew he had
the power to deny the request if he so wished. No doubt, Josiah would be
unimpressed with his choice but Chris had made up his mind the second he had
been told by Casey that Josiah needed to see him.
Chris sat
behind his desk and waited for the inevitable chime to be heard at his door,
while nursing a hot cup of coffee in his hand. He had spent the last few hours
in this room, staring at the stars outside the window, absorbing the beauty
outside as no doubt many of his crew often did whenever they were in conflict
about things. The vastness of space and its remarkable ability to make one feel
like a small atom in the web of life tended to put every day concerns into
perspective. After so many hours alone in this room trying to find such
enlightenment, Chris had come away with no answers and more doubts as to the
decision he would soon be making against all advice to the contrary.
Sooner than he
would have liked, he heard Josiah at the door and let out a deep sigh before
beckoning the man to enter his private sanctum. At any other time, Chris would
have welcomed Josiah's presence as a break from the tedium of reports and other
snippets of starship business that tended to fill the mind with trivialities.
The Counselor would enter the room, often brandishing a bottle of something
that was definitely not synthehol and they would drink just enough to let the
tension seep out of his bones. Chris never told Josiah how much those moments
meant to him. Sometimes, it was like getting back that dithering old man with
all his leather books that Chris had loved so much as a child. Josiah's
demeanor was so much like his father that it was uncanny.
Josiah entered
the room and this time he carried no bottle, which did not bode well for the
rest of the meeting.
"What can
I do for you Josiah?" Chris asked as he eased further into the chair,
nodding slightly at the chair in front of his desk with an invitation to the
Counselor to sit.
"I think
you know." Josiah remarked and planted himself in the chair, not looking
forward to this any more than Chris.
"Alexandra
Styles?" Chris ventured a guess.
"Alex
Styles." Josiah nodded in the affirmative. "I want her taken off
active duty."
Josiah did not
like doing this but after what he had heard in the briefing room, he had taken
the last few hours to make a quick investigation and what he had learnt was
enough to make him ask for this meeting. He knew Chris would not like it.
Judging by the look in the captain's eyes, Josiah was not even sure that Chris
understood why he was asking but if the captain only knew what Josiah had
learnt during these last hours of research, then there would be no doubt in his
mind why this was important.
"Why?"
Chris asked simply, unsurprised by the demand and wanted to hear Josiah's
reasoning to take a fine officer from her job when it was likely the only thing
that was holding her together. As someone who had been torn a part inside out
once upon a time, Chris knew that the job had the power to heal the way nothing
else could.
"You heard
her." Josiah looked at him with shock, unable to imagine how Chris could
even ask. "When that Cardassian comes aboard, it will be exposing
antimatter. I rather she not be put through that kind of trauma and I would
also request that she begin counseling immediately."
"She says
she can handle it." Chris met his gaze. "I think she can."
"Chris,"
Josiah tried to remain calm, knowing that Chris cared just as much for the
officers under his command as Josiah did about those who needed his help.
"I know you want to give her the benefit of the doubt and it is admirable
but I'm asking you, take her off active duty at least until this Cardassian is
gone and this mission is over."
Chris braced
himself and then answered. "No."
"May I ask
why?" Josiah asked, trying to remain calm.
"She has
given me no reason to suspend her from duty," Chris stated firmly before
adding, "for that matter," the captain narrowed his eyes and turned a
high powered stared at Josiah. "Neither have you."
Josiah
stiffened in his chair and returned Chris' gaze with just as much intensity.
"Chris, I am asking you to suspend her from duty. I asking you because it
is my professional judgment that it unwise for her to be anywhere near this
Cardassian when he comes onboard."
"Josiah,
what is the problem?" Chris demanded, allowing his temper to get the
better of him a little. "She said she's fine with it? Isn't it more
therapeutic that we give her the benefit of the doubt instead of punishing her
for being traumatized years ago, just because we're having a guest on
board?"
"It's not
a punishment!" Josiah returned just as sharply because he knew something
that Chris did not.
"That's
not how she'll see it!" Chris declared empathetically. "There are
times when I look into that woman's face and know exactly how she feels. I know
the hurt and the pain that wants to tear you apart inside if you allow it the
power to do so. The one thing that kept me from breaking into a thousand pieces
after Buck convinced me that life wasn't over when Sarah and Adam died was the job.
The job kept me alive. I won't take that away from Alex."
Josiah
understood what Chris was trying to say, he really did and while he admired his
captain for his sympathy and moreover, his empathy towards Alexandra Styles,
Josiah also knew that in this instance Chris was wrong. Absolutely wrong.
"Chris,"
Josiah decided he was going to have no choice but to say it. "Do you know
how many female officers that were Cardassians prisoners of war, since the
Border Wars?"
"No,"
Chris frowned, wondering if Josiah would now try to sway him by bombarding him
with figures. "I don't."
"Fifty
six." Josiah replied automatically. "Do you know how many of them are
still alive?"
Chris looked
up, suddenly having a very bad feeling about this.
Josiah did not
bother to let him to venture a guess. "Including Alex, thirteen."
"Thirteen?"
Chris's eyes widened. "Out of fifty three?"
"Out of
fifty three," Josiah nodded slowly.
"What happened
to them?" The captain asked, his voice dropping an octave lower than
usual.
"In almost
all cases, suicide. Starfleet had a file buried someplace no one will look
because to do so would bring into question the sensibility of allowing female
officers to command starships or to be placed in situations where they may fall
prey to the enemy. It would put back the status of equality regarding women in
combat almost four hundred years. Starfleet is aware of the problem but they
can't do anything about it in the open because it will raise politically
imprudent questions. I contacted Starfleet Medical and using my authority, I
broke the seal on her records."
"You had
no right to do that." Chris said sharply. "She has a right to her
privacy."
"She was
eight weeks pregnant when they took her off that Pakled freighter."
"Oh
Jesus." Chris let out a soft groan of horror, feeling that news shudder
through his body until it centre on his stomach and churned thickly with
disgust.
"Not
surprisingly," Josiah continued. "For obvious reasons, a therapeutic
termination was carried out. According to the records, she was too catatonic to
object. Genetic material recovered indicated that the father was almost
certainly Cardassian."
Chris' jaw
tightened. "Those bastards."
"The
medical officer who examined her when they brought her in reported an extended
period of abuse, there were indication of rape throughout the entire time she
was held captive." Josiah paused a moment, composing himself as his own
emotions started to overcome him. "Almost as recent as a week before the
Pakled found her floating in that escape pod. There were all kinds of internal
damage both vaginal and rectal, broken bones, internal bleeding, cracked ribs.
Apparently Cardassians had a very good time at the expense of our science
officer."
"How can
anyone find something like that pleasurable." Chris found his voice and
when it escaped him it was hoarse with horror.
"Well they
do it a lot," Josiah replied, unable to imagine it himself. "Almost
all the female officers who fall into Cardassian hands are found with the same
injuries and deep trauma. Some recover but the damage is burnt into them and
its even worse when the woman is career. The Cardassians apparently get off on
breaking high ranking officers." He said bitterly. "Most never come
out of the catatonia and usually suicide early on after rescue. Others try to
go back to their lives, struggle to forget. Most can't face facing duty in the
front lines again and op for safe planets side postings."
"But
Alex...."
"Alex is
your exception." The counselor replied. "She asked for the posting to
the Maverick. Counselors who attempted to treat her back then says it has
something to do with her Klingon upbringing. You know how they can be, even
their women."
Chris had to
agree with Josiah there. Klingons were a race that accepted suffering and
adversity as a challenge to be faced as warriors, no matter how demeaning the
situation. There was glory to be had as long as once faced the trial as a true
warrior of the field. Chris knew that Alex had practically been raised Klingon
when her father had been attached to the Federation Embassy on Kronos for most
of her childhood. If Alex lived her live according to that simple philosophy,
then Chris could understand why she was here on the frontier, where anything
could happen.
In
understanding, he also knew something else. "I won't relieve her of
duty." He stated after a long pause, much to Josiah's obvious
astonishment.
"After
what I just told you, why?" Josiah demanded almost angry but telling
himself repeatedly that Chris did not make such decisions lightly.
"You said
it yourself," Chris replied, sincerely believing that he was right.
"Alex is the exception. She is out here because she would rather face the
fear then let it take her. I admire that and I believe that is what has kept
her alive and in the trenches. We start protecting her now and we harm her
because we will never allow her to believe that she can be safe again on her
own."
"That's
taking a hell of a gamble," Josiah countered, seeing the merit in Chris'
words but not at all liking the cost if the captain wrong. "And it's one I
will not support. I am placing an official request to have her relieved off
duty on the grounds of mental incapacity." He made that statement and rose
to his feet.
Chris stood up
to meet the challenge head on. "And I am officially denying it. She's
stays on duty until she gives me a reason to say otherwise."
Josiah let out
a heavy sigh, unable to believe that it had come to this but it had and now the
die was cast. "For your sake as well as hers, I hope you are right Chris
because if you are wrong, we'll lose her like we lost the others."
Part
Five/
Despite
Josiah's premonition that nothing good would come of Alex remaining on duty,
the next two days seemed to pass relatively without incident. The Maverick
continued its journey to Deep Space Four in order to take on their Cardassian
guest and while the tension levels were up, as one must expect it to do on a
starship during a time of crisis, it was not so overt to give particular
concern. Across the starship, all departments undertook preparations in
readiness for the possibility of a battle with the Jem Haddar. Engineering
crews were working double shifts, reinforcing systems, running diagnostics,
boosting shield and phaser strength while rationing energy use on board.
In the
meantime, Ezra was running his security teams through combat simulations with
Jem Haddar troops on the holodeck. He spent much of the next two days dividing
his time between security and engineering, working with his team but also
lending assistance to Chief Engineer Julia Pemberton as they worked steady to
strengthen the ship's defenses. Josiah on the other hand, had presented Chris
with a list of civilians who would be disembarking at Deep Space Five and Chris
was gratified to see that many of these would be spouses with young families.
Still some had opted to remain, declaring that they knew the risks when they
had first agreed to settle on a starship. Chris had to admire their courage but
had the faint suspicion that they really had no idea what they faced if
captured.
Mary on the
other hand was reading up as much as she could on Cardassian culture, storing
her personal feelings aside following what they had learnt about Alex's time
with them and comporting herself as a protocol officer should. Since much of
the intelligence they needed to halt the Dominion advance into this sector of
space would originate from the defector, they would have to give their guest
every respect and Mary told herself this meant keeping the man as far away from
Alex as possible. Of course there would be situations where they would cross
each other's path, that was unavoidable but Mary wanted to spare Alex the
resurgence of any unpleasant memories by bringing her face to face with a man
from the race who had brought her such pain.
Even though
Chris appreciated that Mary was protocol officer and had to remain by the side
of the Cardassian for most of his time here, he could not deny that he was
bothered by how closely she would have to work with the man. Particularly after
knowing what he now did about how Cardassians dealt with female prisoners of
war. Aware that he was going to pay for it later, Chris slipped a quiet word in
Ezra's ear to never have a security detail far from Mary at any point when she
was alone with the former Gul.
Alex spent most
of the journey in astrometics where she and the rest of the stellar cartography
team worked diligently shifting through the data they had accumulated during
the time they had been out on the frontier, charting new territories. Somewhere
amongst all those gigabytes of information was a planet that was capable of
producing Ketracel white. For the sake of the Alpha Quadrant, the Maverick had
to find it before the Dominion. The science officer stayed off the bridge
during this investigation and Chris saw no reason to request her presence
because what she was doing in astrometics was important work. He also understood
the difficulty she had in facing the fellow members of the senior staff
following the revelation of her ordeal.
During their
time on the holodeck together, Chris noticed that Vin seemed to be preoccupied
lately and it did not take a feat of genius to know what concerned the Vulcan
so much. On a starship, there were very few secrets. From the entire ship
knowing that Friday night was Ezra's poker night in his quarters to the fact
that Casey could play the violin and even to the point where the best linguine
to be had anywhere in the sector saw its origins in Nathan Jackson's capable
hands. Just like the entire ship knew that Mary Travis was the captain's
girlfriend, right down to the fact that the science officer and the officer of
the con were in a platonic relationship that Ezra was betting money would
change the minute Vin hit sexual maturity.
Chris could
understand why the Vulcan might be in a state of flux, it was no easy thing
standing by and allowing a woman you cared about so deeply endure her private
equivalent of hell with no idea how to help her through it. If it were Mary,
Chris knew it would be no different for him. Nevertheless, Vin never allowed it
to interfere with his work and strangely enough, the Vulcan did not bring it up
with him in their conversation. Chris guessed because of their close
friendship, Vin did not want Chris to be burdened with more than he already had
as Captain. Besides, Chris had very little he could say to offer Vin any help
out of his dilemma other than what the young man was doing already, which was
to let Alex dictate when she would need his aid.
"We're
coming into range of Deep Space Five." JD Dunne announced as the viewer
screen displayed the image of the space station in the approaching space before
them.
Chris looked up
and took note that the station seemed in better condition than it did the last
time they came this way. Over the last few months, Captain Krista had been
intensifying efforts to repair all the structural damage that had been caused
during the advent of the Borg invasion when the Collective had come this way.
As they slowly approached the station, it appeared that Krista's efforts had
been well worth the time spent for the station looked very impressive indeed.
It looked a far cry from the dilapidated station they had visited during their
maiden voyage to the frontier that had been inundated by Lysian refugees.
The devastation
wrought by the Borg's invasion of Lysia was still apparent on the planet's
surface however, the traffic that presently surrounded the station indicated
that restoration efforts were well underway. Chris could see smaller vessels
crisscrossing through the space around the Federation outpost, some approaching
the docking rings to began embarkation while other were making their departure
for parts unknown or were a part of the relief effort on Lysia.
"Captain
Krista must have been putting in rotating shifts to get this kind of
results." Chris commented, impressed.
"If I am
to understand it Captain," Ezra Standish declared from his corner of the
bridge. "The entire station has been refitted with new fortifications. I
believe she has now the defensive capability similar to the refitting that was
undergone by Deep Space Nine in preparation of the Dominion War."
"Makes
sense," Vin commented from the helm. "They're out here in the thick
of things as much as we are and they got more people to worry about. A moving
target has a chance of escape at least, a space station does not."
"Agreed."
The security man replied. "I have been told that the outer hull has been
replaced with duranium plating making it virtually impossible for a breach and
that nearly all the upper pylons have been installed with torpedo launchers.
The station is meant to be carrying an arsenal of almost 5000 photon torpedoes
and an impressive cache of the quantum variety as well. In other words, should
the Jem Haddar come this way, they are likely to be in for an interesting
reception."
"How the
hell do you have that kind of information Ezra?" Chris turned around and
looked at his security chief with a hint of admiration and annoyance. "The
specifications on the refit of Deep Space Five is classified information. Only
starships captain with command level clearance are meant to have that kind of
access."
"It is
amazing what can be ascertained when one holds four of a kind when playing with
the engineer of the Lexington, who incidentally is rather verbal young man who
let it slip most unintentionally about the materials he was bringing to the
station. I simply made of it what I could." Ezra volunteered innocently
and then offered his trademark-dimpled smirk, which indicated clearly that he
repented nothing.
Chris shook his
head in resignation and retorted. "Consider yourself a security breach
commander and hail the station."
"Aye
Sir," Ezra nodded.
"Now the
fun begins." Buck mused softly. "Mary is on standby to transport to
the station," the first officer dutifully informed the captain.
"She'll be escorting our guest back to the Maverick and helping him get settled
in."
Chris knew he
did not have to worry about the welfare of the protocol officer especially when
she would be surrounded by dozens of Starfleet personnel on the station, to say
nothing of the security people that would be assigned to her the moment she
returned to the ship. He did not know why he was being paranoid because this
Cardassian could not possibly be held accountable for the crimes of others but
he could not help it. The thought of what had happened to Alex, happening to
his Mary was so odious that it made him sick to his stomach just thinking about
it.
"Where's
Alex?" He asked automatically.
"She's
still in astrometics." Vin answered before Buck could. "I think she's
still trying to find this planet. Said she'll be there for most of the day."
In truth, they
all knew that she was probably trying to stay out of sight and limit her
interaction with the Cardassian as much as she could. Chris was glad. After his
discussion with Josiah and their adversarial positions regarding Alex's
continued presence on the bridge and on duty, he did not want to be proven
wrong. At the very least, Josiah would never let him forget it and at the very
worst, Alex might end up killing herself like all those other poor women had
chosen to do. Glancing at Vin, Chris knew he would never forgive himself if he
allowed that to happen.
And he had
enough deaths on his conscience to last a lifetime.
"Make sure
she stays there." Chris said firmly. "I don't want any
incidents."
"I'll see
to it." Vin spoke up. "Hell I could use another butt kicking in the
holodeck anyway."
A small titter
or laughter rippled through the room and it was mostly because the tension at
the moment was such that something needed to break it even for a moment.
"You know its saying something that you who are a Vulcan four times
stronger than any human can get periodically kicked from here to kingdom come
by a woman is beyond disbelief." Buck retorted. "Not that I'm sexist
or nothing."
Vin looked over
his shoulder and remarked with a little smile. "Well maybe cause you ain't
the only one who knows a little something about women."
*********
Mary Travis had
not gained much opportunity to visit Deep Space Five the last time they had
been in the vicinity and now, it looks like things were going to shape up any
better to allow her the opportunity this time around either. Not that she
minded. Space stations seemed somewhat immortal no matter how much adversity in
might face in the way of threats, be there invasion fleets or random spacial
phenomena. Chances are she would have a chance to visit again once this present
crisis was over. Did she think that the Maverick was going to survive its
encounter with the Jem Haddar?
Absolutely.
If anyone could
pull such a hat trick like that, Mary knew with confidence that it was Chris
Larabee. It was a belief not simply engendered by the fact that she cared for
the man but more from the feeling that there was something very special about
the Maverick and the crew she served with. Mary could not explain the
confidence she felt when being with one or more of them but there was some
mysticism in being apart of the fellowship of the seven. It was illogical she
told herself, remnants of that past existence still surfacing on occasion. It
may be illogical but it was the truth.
Mary continued
down the corridor that led to the defector's suite as directed by the ensign
who had been on hand to greet her when she had stepped off the transporter pad.
The Maverick's docking with Deep Space Five was fleeting. They were remaining
long enough for civilians to be transported to the station and for them to take
on their new passenger. Mary herself had opted to keep William with her despite
Chris' advice. Although she did not want to endanger her son, she could not
bring herself to leave him on the station with strangers either. Not that Chris
had not tried to talk her into accepting the leave he offered so that she could
be with her son.
While Mary
appreciated the gesture, she was not about to hide from the risks that were
expected of every person in Starfleet, even those with children. She reached
the end of the corridor, passing by a few other inhabitants of this section of
the habitat ring and saw the door in question. Taking a deep breath, she
continued forward, reminding herself that what she had heard in the briefing
room should make no difference to her. Diplomacy was the requirement of the day
and it was what she was best at.
Mary paused at
the door and pressed the button that would announce her arrival to the occupant
of the room. She waited a moment, remembering that this man was an ally and the
survival of the Federation might likely hinge on what he would be able to tell
them about the eminent Jem Haddar invasion of the frontier. The door slid open
and Mary soon found herself faced to face with a tall imposing Cardassian who
regarded with a mixture of expectation and mild curiosity.
He was like all
Cardassians, harsh looking, mostly because the human mind tended to interpret
the bony protrusions of their face making them such. However he was handsome to
a certain extent and wore the garb of Cardassian Gul, the equivalent of
starship captain. The markings on his uniform indicated he was a Gul of the
Ninth Order, second only to the Obsidian order, the dreaded secret police that
ruled supreme on Cardassia Prime and was responsible for all its espionage
dealings with the rest of the galaxy.
"I am
Lieutenant Mary Travis, Protocol Officer to the USS Maverick," Mary
introduced herself. "I am here to provide you an escort to the ship."
"Where is
the Captain?" He asked abruptly, full of atypical arrogance of someone
unaccustomed to being among those who was not of equal standing.
"As per
Starfleet orders," Mary responded, trying not to become offended by his
rudeness. "We have been told to make your embarkation onto the Maverick as
low profile as possible. We would not want to draw attention to you by having a
Starship Captain arriving at your door."
"How do I
know that you are not a Dominion spy?" The man said pointedly.
"Likewise."
Mary retorted, with a single brow raised.
The Cardassian
gave her a look and then broke into a smile. "Touché' Lieutenant," he
responded. "We shall proceed."
He retreated
into his room and picked up a single bag that was seated on the chair.
"These quarters are rather Spartan." He commented, casting a
distasteful look over the small room that had been his home since his arrival
on the station. "Of course I am spoiled by the luxurious standards of
Cardassians station. I believe you have had a chance to sample such offerings
by your acquisition of Terak Nor."
Mary did not
react. "You mean Deep Space Nine." She pointed; getting a little of
her own back because she knew the Cardassians hated that station to be referred
to as such. Especially when they were reminded of how the Bajora had forced the
Cardassians off their home world and caused them to relinquish that piece of
hardware in order to establish a Federation presence there.
He glanced over
her shoulder and replied just a smoothly, impressed by her ability to hold her
own. "Yes. I am hoping a galaxy class starship will be able to provide
better lodgings?"
"I have
prepared our VIP suite for your use and programmed your replicators to provide
you with Cardassian cuisine." Mary said sweetly.
"How
enterprising of you." He commented. "Are you similarly talented in
fulfilling any other needs I might have?" He asked taking a step closer
towards her until she could feel his breath on her skin and Mary was forced to
look up to meet his gaze.
She took a step
back and remarked coolly, unaffected by his attempt at charm or intimidation.
"Shall we proceed?"
Suddenly she
had this idea that whether or not the Jem Haddar attacked, this was going to be
one long mission.
**********
After allowing
Alex to beat him again, at least that's what he told himself, Vin and the
science officer made their way to
Vin enjoyed
that a great deal because he got to keep her scent on him for the rest of the
day. At the moment however, she did not appear to be suffering any of the
emotional turmoil that had caused them to quarrel two days before and the
status quo between them was back to normal. Although she had not guessed that
he had an ulterior motive for spending holodeck time with her today, Vin knew
she had genuinely enjoyed spending the time with him and was glad that her
outburst had not permanently injured their relationship.
"I think
after Borath we might go horse riding again." Alex said as she stirred the
cup of hot chocolate before her.
"Okay,"
Vin said neutrally, hiding how pleased he was at the prospect of being close to
her. What he did not know was it pleased Alex too. "Where to this
time?" They usually rode through trails that took them to places with
beautiful landscapes that were almost as breathtaking as what was lying in wait
outside.
"I don't
know," Alex shrugged. "You have a program of your ranch?" She
asked after a moment of consideration.
"Yeah,"
Vin nodded, somewhat surprised because she had never asked about the ranch in
"Sounds good."
Alex smiled, genuinely wanting to see it and being with Vin when she did.
Alex was in the
process of taking a sip, her gaze on the space outside the glass when Vin
noticed the doors to the bar opening at the far end of the room. He would not
have paid attention to the new arrivals if not for the fact that one of them
was Mary Travis and the other was the Cardassian defector that would be aiding
them in their present situation. The Vulcan winced inwardly and had not wished
Alex to face this particular hurdle so soon but events had transpired that made
that impossible now and the best he could do was be there for her as she
endured it.
"Alex, the
Cardassian just walked in." Vin announced softly as he watched Mary show
the Cardassian to the bar and introduced him to Inez.
Alex paused in
mid sip and lowered her cup just enough to take a deep breath. Ever since the
Captain had briefed them on the present crisis, Alex knew that this was a
situation she would have to inevitably face and she had promised Chris she
could be a complete professional about this. She would not embarrass her
captain when he had placed so much faith on her abilities and on her word that
she would behave.
"I'm
fine." She assured him and turned her head towards to Mary and the Gul.
For an instant
as her eyes took in the sight of him, there was no reaction. Vin thought that
she was completely in control until he saw her hand shaking violently and the
hot chocolate, still burning hot shuddering out of its porcelain edge without
Alex noticing the heat burning into her skin. Her jaw was tightening and the
grip around the cup continue to tighten until finally the pressure caused it to
shatter with a loud crack as fluid emptied onto the smooth surface of the
table.
"Alex,
what is it?" Vin demanded, starting to have the worst damn suspicion in
his entire life present itself to him at why her reaction to the man was so
strong. It had never occurred to anyone of them that this possibility could
exist. They had been so worried that she would vent her outrage on an innocent,
that it had never occurred to them that she might be venting her rage on the
guilty. God, he hoped he was wrong.
He hoped he was
fucking wrong!
She left the
table and strode towards the Cardassian, seeing nothing but him. Everything
else being sucked into a singularity where he was the only person in her
universe and all others were dispersing matter converging into the one point of
utter annihilation. Alex could not breathe. He heart was pounding so loudly in
her chest that she could not even begin to let her mind wrap itself around the
fact that he was here, in front her after all these years where he had existed
only in her nightmares. However, the closer she neared to him, the more clearer
the memory returned and with it came so many other things.
Being unable
to breathe. Forced on her hands and knees, brutalized one by one on his orders.
All his men taking turns at her, passing her around like she was unending
bottle with which they could satiate their thirst. Hearing the screams and
knowing with despair they were hers. Tasting vomit after she retched the
contents of her stomach until digestive juices were being ejected and there was
nothing left in the wake of the ordeal except the terrible shame and
humiliation. Smelling their stink on her. The clammy stickiness of their semen
on her skin. Praying, always praying they would let her die every time they
came to take her again and again. Begging them to stop, only they never did and
the whimpers made them do it all over again, even though they knew her mind was
half gone.
She didn't
care if she died today, didn't care if the rest of her life ended at this
moment because death was a release and she had already been to hell and it was
a far worse place than the likes deemed by religious dogma. Hell was a place
she had already seen and he who presided over her misery was right here.
"Lenar!"
She hissed loudly.
He turned
sharply to her and for a moment, he did not speak. Alex was not surprised. He
probably would not remember. After all, she was just another officer, another
victim. Why the hell would he keep her in his mind? She did not wait for the
answer because no sooner than he had cast his gaze upon her, Alex had launched
herself at him. Her weight slammed them both into the bar almost toppling the
Cardassian over. He did not quite manage to fall over it because Alex's hands
were on his throat keeping him in reach. Her fists went flying before he was
even aware of the attack, striking him in the face repeatedly.
"Alex!"
Mary grabbed her arm trying to stop her from beating the man senseless when the
science officer shook of the attempt and jabbed an elbow into Mary's face,
sending the protocol officer sprawling. Mary tumbled into Vin, blood gushing
from a broken nose as pandemonium broke out in the saloon.
"Are you
alright?" Vin asked hastily as he set Mary down and glanced frantically at
Alex who was pummeling Lenar with frenzied rage behind every blow.
"I'm
fine!" Stop her!" Mary shouted wiping the blood from her nose.
Already fissures of broken skin began appearing on the Gul's face and the
advantage Alex had acquired with the surprise of her attack had robbed him of
the ability to recover enough to fight back.
Vin slid his
arms around Alex's waist and physically tore her from the Cardassian. She
reacted instinctively, preparing to fend him off as she had Mary, when Vin
grabbed her arm and held it there as Alex continued to struggle. "Alex
stop it!" Vin shouted trying to make her see reason. No sooner than Alex
had been safely extricated from Lenar, Mary hurried to the Cardassian who was
bleeding quite profusely.
"Nathan, I
need someone down in
"Let me
go!" Alex screamed. "You don't understand. You don't know!" She
fought Vin hard with every once strength in her body even though she knew she
had no chance of breaking free once he had her. He was four times stronger than
she was and had more than enough strength to tear her away from her victim and
keep her restrained indefinitely. "Let me go!" She demanded.
"Alex,
enough." Vin said firmly, feeling his heart ache at having to do this but
she had to stop.
"No!"
She stared at him wide eyed and breathing hard. "You don't know who he is!
You don't what he did!" She looked at Vin, tears running down her cheeks
as horror of it swelled up from the bottom of some dark place within and
swallowed her whole. "You can't possibly know."
"I know
Alex," he said gently and pulled her to him as she started to break down
and sob. Alex resisted for only a moment before she succumbed to his arms and
buried herself in the crook of his shoulder, weeping openly, not caring who
saw.
Stroking her
hair, he whispered in her ear. "I know."