STANDARD DISCLAIMER: All characters and situations related to Star Trek are wholly owned by Paramount Pictures. All the characters from the "Magnificent Seven" TV series are property of Trilogy Entertainment, The Mirisch Group, MGM Worldwide.

PON FARR

Prologue

Sometimes, Vin Tanner dreamt the parents that had sired him. 

For a split second, while he drifted between the nexus of sleep and wakefulness, long forgotten memories would rise silently from the mists and he would see in flashes of images too brief and vague to be coherent, the faceless Vulcan parents he had known briefly. It was the emotions they engendered that left its impact on him the most, the terrible yearning for them, of hoping that this time, they would not fade away like they had so many countless times before. Whenever, they vanished like smoke before him, he would feel small again, small and frightened as he had been when he was a child alone in the wreckage. Oh that much he took with him into the waking world. He remembered scrambling in the dark, terrified of sounds, of being afraid to go into the cockpit of that battered ship because instinct told him that what he would find there was not for him. Sometimes he dreamed he was that child again and when he awoke, he would be covered in sweat with sheets plastered to his skin. Sometimes t he wet on his skin was even produced by tears.

Whenever Vin was questioned about his parents, he would invariably speak of the Tanners, the humans who had taken him for their own after finding him shivering in the wreckage of the Selaya’s Heart, Vulcan ship that had crashed and left him orphaned. It was not his fault of course. When he remembered his mother, his mind conjured the image of the lovely Earth woman with the brown hair and soft eyes not unlike his own. She who had held him in those early days when the memory of the crash was vivid in his mind and the destroyed part of the ship he dare not venture into, haunted him regularly. His father, her husband had been an equally caring man and kind of reminded him of Josiah Sanchez, though Vin never mentioned that to the Counsellor. They had taken him in when he had been orphaned and were on their way home to Earth when a quirk of fate had caused them to become marooned on a world almost as rustic and remote as the one they had rescued him from. 

They remained stranded on that world for the next eleven years of Vin's life and everything that might have been Vulcan inside of him was burned away by the bonds forged of their mutual entrapment and the love his human parents had unfailingly shown him. What remained of his Vulcan parents was evident every time he looked into the mirror and the vague memories that only seemed to surface in the small hours of the night. When he finally returned to the world, he found that his personality of a being who embraced emotions, who savoured every moment no matter how illogical it might seem, to be an affront to the basic tenets of Vulcan philosophy. Fortunately, his adoption by the Tanners had been legally binding and found himself inheritor to their farm in Texas and had at least had a home to call his own especially since no one on Vulcan was eager to claim him. The last vestiges of his native origins were severed with that late abandonment.

No one was more grateful for the fact than Vin himself. He had no need of the Vulcan philosophy of logic above emotions. He could think of nothing more odious than reducing the sum of his experiences to cold hard data. He was not going to say that his human parents love for him was illogical. He still longed for the fresh pies his mother used to bake and the way she used to croon him to sleep when his nightmares became too much. When his father had died, having fallen to his death because of some unnoticed ravine, it had been just the two of them for years. She had succumbed to some infection, the cause of which he never guessed but the last thing she said to him was that he was Tanner.  

When he emerged from his self imposed exile on the Texas ranch left to him by his foster parents, where he spent his time ensuring that he would qualify for the Starfleet entrance exam, Vin learned what impact being a Vulcan raised by humans could have on people. Humans for most part found it easier to accept him because he was like them and most of the time, Vin was able to slip past without letting anyone know that he was Vulcan, which was part of the reason why he grew his hair long and kept it that way so the question of his ears would never come up.

Vulcans however, knew he was one of them immediately and their distaste was evident although in reality they were not supposed to show such feelings. Upon entrance into the Academy, he realised that they would never accept him because he was everything they had left behind when they adopted Surak’s teachings. Vin knew they considered him a throwback of a more barbaric age particularly when he took such delight in experiencing emotions in all its full coloured and multi-facetted intensity. For most part Vin did not care, having decided early on that he could not live by such a rigid code and anticipate living life as a human. 

All he cared about was a being a Tanner, the name Vin had been a left over from his birth parents and having looked it up once, discovered that it was most likely a shortened version of Svinak. It meant 'the solitary one'.  

Somehow it seemed appropriate. 

Part One

Chris Larabee wondered if he was not getting a little old. 

With the sun on his back and a drop of nearly two hundred feet below him, he reminded himself that the key to rock climbing was not to look down. Even seasoned professionals did not break that taboo when scaling the heights. He supposed it would not be so bad if he was in the holodeck and he could feel the reassurance of its safety protocols ensuring he would not be dashed against the rocks if he lost his footing. However, it was necessary for one to feel a little danger if one wanted to appreciate living. At least that’s what he told himself. Mary just called it ‘some pathetic attempt to recapture one’s youth by doing some really stupid’.

 Chris had the feeling Mary did not really like him mountain climbing. 

Ah, what would she know, he snorted to himself. She’s just a girl. Staring up the remaining length of mountain he had to climb, he saw Vin already several feet above him. Chris mumbled under his breath at the younger man’s stamina. Vin was climbing up the side of the cliff like a demon, barely noticing the drop and seeing the edge as something easily unattainable unlike Chris who was wondering if perhaps Mary was not just a little right about his need to recapture his youth. After all, it was only one birthday and because it was less than a week away, he did not have to prove to himself that even though he was nearing the 39 mark, he was not old. He was in pretty good shape for a man his age.

Of course when you hit 39, you were only a short step away from 40.

A small voice whispered maliciously in the back of his mind and caused Chris to search for another handhold in the rock to haul himself a little further along the way. Sweat covered every inch of him. He could even feel it running through his hair and his muscles ached from the abuse. He did not know how many scrapes and bruises he had acquired while attempting to scale what was almost a sheer cliff face. When the Maverick had first pulled into Risa, Chris had thought of there being nothing worse that having to take shore leave on a planet where there was nothing to do but be over indulged in the trappings of a tropical island resort. However, Buck had dutifully told Chris, having the entire range of tourist activities available on Risa in his private log, that there were more strenuous activities available to those who did not go in for pampering and over indulgence.  

Surprisingly enough aside from miles and miles of resort perfect beaches, Risa also had an impressive mountain range that was prime hunting ground for intrepid climbers like himself and Vin Tanner. Vin who was really in need of some exhausting exercise to burn the boundless energy he seemed to have these days was already making plans for this excursion no sooner than the information had come to him via Buck’s logs. The top of the cliff was a jagged line against the blue sky, Chris noted and thankfully, he was making good progress once he coaxed his limbs into moving. Despite himself, he could not help but admire the speed upon which Vin was scaling the height and suspected that the only reason his helmsman had not yet reached the top was because he was slowing down a little to let his captain keep up.

Vin’s progress and possible lagging made him speed up and as the ache impressed itself more on his mind, Chris started thinking of all the things he could be doing. He could be with Mary who at this moment was sitting on a beach somewhere with Alex, bare limbs exposed thanks to the scrap of material he had so lustily remembered she called a swim suit, glistening with a thin film of moisture as she soaked in the sun. He pictured her hiding beneath her sunglasses, blond hair glistening in the sunlight and wondered what the hell he was doing here, where he could fall to his death with one loss of footing? 

Oh yeah, he remembered. Attempting something really stupid to convince himself that because he was turning 39, he was not old.

"You doing okay Chris?" He heard Vin’s voice from above.

The helmsman had paused to see how his captain was faring. Vin had to remember that humans did not quite have the stamina of Vulcans and lately, he seemed to have a great deal more than anticipated. The mountain called the Monolith, mostly because it looked like one from a distance was one of the most challenging climbs he had attempted in quite some time but he felt a wondered if he might have selected something that was just too hard for his captain. Of course, Chris would never admit it if the course was too much for him. His captain was not only proud but determined to believe that no obstacle could be uncrossed.

And he had a birthday coming up.

"I’m fine." Chris grunted as his foot slipped into the groove of rock that was wide enough to support his weight as he pushed himself further along the side of the cliff. The top of the mountainside was not far away now and seeing it gave him a renewed sense of strength for he no longer paused in between spaces. "I wouldn’t wait for me." He retorted. "I’ll be catching up to you soon enough." 

"Okay." Vin grinned and started climbing once more. "You ain’t doing bad for an old guy you know."

 Chris glared at him and responded through narrowed eyes. "How would like to be seeing space from the inside of a maintenance hatch when you’re cleaning the warp conduit coils for the next month, Lieutenant?" 

"Gee, you weren’t this grouchy when you were younger." Vin retorted in typical smart assed pose.  

"Are you trying to make some kind of a point Tanner?" Chris asked as they continued climbing.

 "Not really," Vin answered and glanced downward at his captain. "Are you?" 

The question made Chris pause and he raised his eyes to see that Vin was actually waiting for an answer. "No." He shook his head. "Why do you ask?" 

"I know you have a birthday coming up." The Vulcan stated as he resumed climbing. "You’ve been sort of touchy about it."

"I’ve been touchy about a lot of things." Chris deadpanned. It was true. Since finding out that the possibility existed that Sarah and Adam’s death may not have been accidental, he had been obsessed to the point of endangering his ship and unwittingly causing the unnecessary deaths of some of his crew. He had not overcome the guilt from his behaviour during those weeks, not to mention how he had treated his friends and Mary at the time. Now when the worst of that storm had passed, he was reminded that he was another year older but the actions of the past year indicated he was not necessarily wiser. 

"My ma used to say that things change." Vin replied as he drove the final spike into the rock, the one that would allow him to climb over the edge to the top of the Monolith. "You either get used to it or spend a lot of time feeling lousy." 

"She was a smart woman." Chris sighed, knowing that Mrs Tanner’s wisdom pertained to him more than he would like to admit. He did not speak for a few minutes, allowing the silence to follow him all the way to the top as he took his mind from his personal thoughts and focussed his attention on the climbing the rest of the way. Naturally he saw Vin climbing over the edge first but by that point, Chris was not far behind him. A few seconds later, he found his hand on the notch in the smooth rock carved out by Vin and hauled himself over the uneven edge. The peak of the monolith was nothing more than a flat piece of land that must have been a part of the main mountain range but had been eroded away through millions of years of shifting landmasses and equally formidable forces of nature. However, the onus of making the climb was not for just the sheer challenge but for the magnificent view it rewarded those who dared to scale its heights. 

Below him, Chris could see the lush green valleys of Risa’s Oonaris Province. It was a landscape of sculpted hills covered in thick grass and breathtaking flora. In the distance, the wispy skyline of the mountains stretched across the horizon until they disappeared into the blue sky. Seeing it made Chris draw in a pleasured breath that overrode the exhaustion in his limbs and the rest of the minor injuries incurred during his climb. He let his gaze soak in the sights and realised with a deep sense of appreciation that even if he was getting a little older, there was still things left to marvel at and the surprises that came late in the day were often the ones most valued.  

"Thanks Vin." Chris said to the Vulcan as he lowered himself to a resting position on the edge where Vin was presently sitting, admiring the scenic lookout before them. 

"My pleasure pard." Vin replied softly, knowing his captain and friend well enough to know what would be the tonic he needed to get through this. Like the rest of his friends, Vin had noticed Chris becoming increasingly surly with the approach of his birthday and felt that his friend needed something of a pick me up. Chris had been through a great deal of late and Vin wanted the captain to stop being so hard on himself, in action and in age.  

"Kind of puts things in perspective, don’t it?" Vin remarked, soaking up the panoramic beauty before him. The sight of something older than both of them staring back at them in indifference and resplendent beauty had exactly the effect on Chris that Vin had hoped. The captain let out a deep breath as the glow of the amber sun began to descend from the heavens.

Chris shifted his gaze at Vin long enough to agree with a little smile. "It sure does." 

********

"Why must we do this?" Ezra asked Julia Pemberton as they stood in the pet store, looking at the small, fur covered creature inside its cage. The darling little creature, little more then a bundle of white fur, sniffed through the glass as if it could smell Julia’s finger, trying to catch its attention. 

Julia Pemberton stood up right from the glass display and stared at him critically. It was not like she had not already explained this to him a dozen times since they had left their hotel in order to visit the shopping district. "I read that if we can share in the looking after a pet together it will make it so much simpler when we finally move in together. 

Ezra stared at her. "Where exactly did you read statement?" He inquired hoping to find the offending publication and erase the data in order to make more storage room for the waste recycling computers.

"Who remembers?" Julia shrugged and then returned her attention to the little moppet trying its hardest to regain her attention once more. "The point is, this is an exercise that will help us when we live together." 

"But we have yet to move in with each other." Ezra pointed out.

"Look," she puffed up her chest, an indication that she was starting to get mad with him. "If we can look after a kitten, I’m sure we will be making that step in no time. I mean you do want to move in with me right?" She stared at him, expecting an answer. 

"Absolutely." He said with his best poker face. 

"Ezra…." Julia repeated herself, not quite believing him when he became so masked. Usually that meant he was hiding something from her. She had seen him play enough poker to know when he was lying. "I thought we had something special, it’s a natural progression of our relationship. Are you telling me you have commitment issues?" 

Ezra groaned inwardly, wondering how on earth he had stumbled into this conversation when discussing a kitten. The few patrons scattered through the small space of the pet store had suddenly forgotten about the animals they were perusing and were now trying not to stare at the couple even though they were listening to every word. 

"Adorable isn’t it?" A familiar voice broke into the conversation and for Ezra, a situation that was already decaying into a bad situation suddenly became worse with the speed of a ship slamming into warp. 

"Mother!" Ezra exclaimed, his worst fears being realised when he saw his flamboyant breezing into their presence out of nowhere, somehow entering the store past his notice when he and Julia were engaged in their little ‘discussion’. 

"Mother?" Julia turned to him in question. "This is your mother?"

"Why I live here on Risa, my dear." Maude smiled, looking nothing like her years and still capable of turning the head of every man who was wise enough to appreciate beauty and vintage. "Didn’t my darling boy tell you?" She turned to Ezra and gave him a little stare filled with sweet revenge at being so clandestine about his arrival. 

"No," Julia said unhappily, "the darling boy didn’t." She capped the statement off with a venomous look.

"I was going to surprise you," Ezra explained quickly, suddenly feeling like a Christian about to be thrown into an arena with a pride of rather ravenous lions. Then he recanted when he realised he was nowhere that lucky. "And mother, I did leave a message at your hotel that I was here." 

Maude let out a sigh and smiled, conceding her son that much. "He did." She met Julia’s gaze and then came towards Ezra and embraced him warmly. "How are you Ezra darling?"

Julia fumed inwardly, wishing she had better preparation for this. Meeting Ezra’s mother was an even bigger step than buying kitten, she grimaced. She wished she were wearing something a little more appropriate than a light floral sarong tied in a knot at waist and her bikini top. Ezra and his mother seemed very close even though she sensed some anxiety in Ezra about their meeting. Still, he should have told her that his mother resided on Risa at least. 

"And who is this?" Maude asked once she and Ezra had made their greetings. Maude made no attempt to hide she was sizing Julia up when she cast a steely gaze on the young woman.

"Mother this is Julia." Ezra introduced. "Julia, this is my mother Maude." 

"Hello Maude." Julia greeted nervously and shook hands with Ezra’s mother. "I’m sorry I’m standing here with my jaw on the floor. Ezra never told me you lived here." 

"Well that’s Ezra." Maude shrugged as if the omission was something she had become very accustomed to over the years. "When I found out that you were here, I just had to find you." Maude continued. "I called the ship and spoke to a charming young lady, I believe her name is Casey? Well she was most helpful and immediately told me which hotel you were at. Now darling, I at least expected you to stay at my charming premises."

"I wanted something romantic," Ezra stammered, trying to explain while reminding himself at the same time to check the regs to see if there was any rule against about strangling a captain’s yeoman.  

"Why we have romance." Maude replied. "Now you finish up here and I’ll wait outside. We can go to the hotel to get your things. You’ll stay with me, I won’t hear another word about it." With that she swept out of the place like a hurricane, leaving only destruction in its wake.

Julia turned to Ezra and he could see his love was clearly upset. Ezra opened his mouth to speak when suddenly, the pet storeowner stepped forward, unaware of the tension he was interrupting and asked the couple innocently, "will you be taking the Persian?" 

Julia narrowed her eyes at him and waited for a response. Ezra swallowed thickly and sighed in resignation of doom no matter how well he explained himself to her about why he had been less than forthcoming about his mother.  

"Charge it to Commander Standish of the Maverick."

*********

Josiah Sanchez was minding his own business, enjoying the sunshine on his face as he continued to read the book on native Risan cultures he had purchased for his afternoon sabbatical on the sun. As he sat on the beach chair that was situated in a luxurious stretch of beach near the resort he was staying, he could hear the voices of people laughing around him, water splashing and all the sounds associated with the beach, including the soothing sound of waves dragging across the sands whenever the surf met the shore. He relaxed in the heat, enjoying the peace of hearing nothing but his own thoughts, content with not having to worry about the mental well being of everyone on the Maverick. It was as blissful as it could get.  

"Hello." A tawny vixen with virtually nothing on (actually they all had virtually nothing on, not that he noticed) padded up to him and greeted with a smile. Her skin was bronzed from the sun even though she was clearly Caucasian and made Josiah think of one of those native women on remote island paradises that brought so many sailors to pleasurable ruin in the days when exploration was limited to the high seas.  

"Hello." He greeted her back somewhat annoyed. She was the sixth in a line of beauties that have been coming on to him all day. Either he had acquired some of Buck’s animal magnetism or the ladies in this part of the galaxy were more accommodating than he knew. In either case, he was too old for fly by night encounters any more.  

"You are seeking Jamaron." She smiled and it was an alluring smile with perfect white teeth against sun bleached brown hair.

"Nope," he shook his head. "Don’t know who that is and wasn’t actually looking for him." 

She giggled, a soft enchanting laugh. "Jamaron." is not a man. It is a desire for becoming one with another."

"And you think I’m looking for it?" Josiah’s brow shot up in confusion. "Why?" 

"Because of the horagon." She pointed to the ugly wooden sculpture Buck had requested he purchase for him while he was down here.

At the time of the buying, Josiah had wondered why the First Officer would request such an item. After all, Buck never struck him as anything of an art lover not to mention Buck’s insistence that he display it in the open because it was considered good luck to do so and a way of showing native Risans that visitors respected their culture. Never one to mock the beliefs of anyone, Josiah had obeyed even though he had thought it peculiar at the time.  

"One only displays it openly when they are wishing Jamaron with another." She explained and took great pleasure at how quickly his face flushed red upon realising what he had been doing. 

And if things could not be any more embarrassing, it was at that moment that Audrey King, along with her daughter Lilith and Billy Travis, suddenly sighted him and strolled over.  

"Josiah," she greeted and stopped short at the sight of the sculpture sitting in the sand near his chair. "Are we interrupting anything?" 

"Hi Josiah!" Lilith greeted, puzzled at why her mother’s voice had suddenly turned cold as Siberian winter.

"Hello Josiah." Billy made the same greeting and then stared at the sculpture. "You have a horagon." He pointed out. 

Josiah swallowed thickly and reminded himself to kill Buck later on. "Audrey, its not what it looks like."

He did not have to be a Counsellor or even Betazoid to guess by the look Audrey was giving the young woman with him, that she did not quite believe him. Audrey’s gaze shifted to him and remarked coolly. "I was going to ask if you would like to come with us for a walk on the beach but I see you’re busy. Good day, Counsellor."

Josiah saw her and the children draw away and barely heard the apology being offered by his tawny Risan beauty. However, he did wonder whether psychiatrists still had the power to have people lobotomised.  

He was certainly willing to make the attempt on Buck Wilmington to find out.

Part Two

"You know," Mary Travis sighed contently as she felt strong hands coaxing the knots out of her back. "I should be with my son."

Alex Styles brushed a strand of damp hair from her back, allowing the masseuse presently working on her own back better access to her neck. The young man in his twenties was oblivious to the conversation between the two women as he and his equally beautiful companion kneaded the supple skin beneath them, relaxing the knots that had formed thanks to stress and other excesses of work from the muscle. Alex closed her eyes and rested her head against her towel, more than happy to let a professional go to work while lounging underneath the luxurious sunshine overhead with the sound of the nearby ocean, calling out its siren song with every rush of wave against the shore.

 "You were with him yesterday when you went bush walking and canoeing, you were with him the day before when you took him swimming and tomorrow its going to be the zoological gardens isn't it? I think you're hardly being neglectful for taking a personal day." Alex remarked. "Besides," she said with a little smile. "What could you be possibly doing that could beat all this attention?" 

"You're a bad influence." Mary deadpanned as she noted the hands sliding down her back and let out another pleasured sigh.  

"No I'm not," Alex said defiantly. "I'm just one who knows how to suck the marrow out of life and besides, the scenery is just great." She added with a salacious smile.

 To that of course Mary could not disagree. The two young men who were working so devotedly on them were barely into adulthood wearing the customary garb of all Risans when in beachfront venues, that is to say very little. Mary could not help but appreciate the fine lines and the more than perfect muscle tone that was surrounding her and knew that there was more than a little sinful pleasure in all this. "Well the marrow is looking very good." Mary smiled, reaching for the tall, slightly frosted glass sitting comfortably next to her beach towel.  

"To think, I could have gone rock climbing with Chris. I am so glad I decided to let the boys go alone." She said in a monotone that oozed with sarcasm. 

"Oh yes," Alex giggled. "Me too. I was just crushed when Vin said he and Chris ought to go alone." Both women ended the conversation in a fit of giggles until Mary felt a hard slap on the back of her rump.

"OW!" She swore, dropping her drink and looking to see Chris standing kneeling down before her, staring most disapprovingly at the young man who had been giving her so much attention. The infamous Larabee glare sent him and his companions scurrying along and Mary rolled onto her side, rubbing her sore behind with a frown on her face. "That was not nice Chris." 

"What were you doing with that, that kid?" Chris managed to get out. He did not want to show that he was annoyed but if anyone's hand were going to be touching Mary that way, it was going to be his.  

"Hey!" Alex grumbled. "You didn't have to scare mine away too Captain." She complained when her masseuse appeared to be taking the same high road.   

"And why not?" Vin Tanner asked, clutching two colourful drinking concoctions in his hands as he approached a few short feet away, having seen most of what had transpired in the last few seconds to guess what had been going on. "You could get arrested for doing that on a public beach." 

"It was a back rub." Alex said with narrowed eyes. "It's almost as fun as rock climbing." She turned to Mary with a wink.' 

"Almost." Mary grinned, one brow arching in equal mischief.  

"That was disgraceful," Chris pouted as he sat next to her. "You're a mother for God's sakes. That kid was young enough....." 

"I wouldn't finish that statement if you want to live." Mary warned. 

Chris decided that it was good advice and discontinued that line of conversation. "So you have a good day?" He asked instead, leaning down next to her, his elbow digging into the dirt as he made himself comfortable.  

"Reasonably." Mary smiled. "We did absolutely nothing." 

"And it was hard work." Alex grinned. 

"I don't know how you can sit around all day and just do nothing." Vin declared unable to fathom the wasting of such a glorious day.  

"Well for those of us with a metabolism that's not like a runaway train, we find it easy." Alex remarked smugly. "Besides, we have great scenery around here too." She eyed a reasonably well-built Risan running past on the beach. 

"You ain't got no shame." Vin remarked, dipping his fingers in his drink and splashing it on her face. 

"You men are just jealous.' Mary retorted.

"Jealous?" Chris scoffed. "What would I have to be jealous about?" 

"Well..." Mary shrugged and considered for a moment before giving him a perfectly evil smile. "You are getting kind of old." 

"Alright that's it." He gave Vin a look and the helmsman picked up his intention immediately before nodding in agreement. Without saying another word and their course clear, no matter how hazardous to his health, Chris scooped Mary up in his arms and started carrying her towards shore. 

"CHRIS LARABEE, DON"T YOU DARE!" She squealed. 

"Sorry," he said with an equally evil smirk. "I can't hear you too well, you know how these old ears can be....." 

Neither was Mary alone in her outrage because she was soon listening to Alexandra Styles's equally annoyed voice in pursuit of her progress towards the shore. 

"VIN! What the hell are you doing?" The science officer demanded as she was hoisted into Vin's arms with almost no trouble at all.

"Sorry Alex," Vin retorted giving her a teasing smile just before she heard Mary Travis' outraged shriek when Chris Larabee dropped her into the ocean. "Captain's orders."

*********

 This was hell. 

It was the only Ezra Standish could adequately describe his present situation. He had gone to hell. At present, he was seated at his mother's private table at the main lounge in the Risan hotel known as One Eyed Jacks, owned lock, stock and barrel by Maude Standish. The place had been tastefully converted to display the furnishings of a gambling house from the late 1800's and came complete with ornate designs of the period. Ezra found it extremely likeable and was rather surprised at how well it met with the eye. Begrudgingly, he had to admit that his mother had finally found the perfect place to concoct her schemes. However, he wished his first glimpse of the place did not have to be with Julia at his side. 

Whatever concerns Julia might have had about not making a good impression on Maude Standish had more or less faded with both women trading humorous stories about him while he discovered new levels of embarrassment and mortification. Ezra found himself downing another glass of expensive Bordeaux that was served for the occasion while listening to his mother and Julia giggle as each story made him look even more ludicrous than the last. Fortunately, the dinner crowd had yet to come into the lounge yet so for the moment at least, he had some measure of privacy about the most embarrassing moments of his life. 

"I never pictured Ezra as a dog person!" Julia laughed as she heard the story about her lover's attempt to dress some poor French poodle. 

"Oh no he wasn't," Maude remarked. "He just didn't think it was proper for that dog to be naked or when he was little, he used to say nekid." 

Ezra needed another drink. Hell, he needed another bottle. 

"Oh God!" Julia laughed ever harder. "Well that explains why he was so enthusiastic about us getting a cat!"  

"A cat?" Maude stared at her son. "Are you seriously telling that after all this time you are committing to a relationship my darling?" Her eyes twinkled with mischief and Ezra could sense something bad was going to happen. He narrowed his eyes in warning at his mother but she did not seem to notice. 

"By the amount of complaints I received about it, you think I was asking him to marry me or something." Julia grumbled. 

"Oh Ezra is the marrying kind...." Maude turned to Julia again. 

"Mother!" Ezra called out helplessly, aware of this was leading. "I do not think we need to regale Julia with every minute detail of my childhood." 

"Oh I'm really want to hear it 'darling'." Julia gave him a wink that told him in no uncertain terms, he was to sit there and suffer. "Go on Maude." 

"I knew he was the marrying kind the minute he decided to run off with that showgirl." Maude declared. 

Oh hell, Ezra swore wondering if matricide really a justifiable crime.  

"Showgirl?" Julia stared at him in shock. "You were going to run off with a showgirl?" 

"Not exactly," Ezra cleared his throat wondering how he was going to explain this when Maude stepped in and took the liberty. 

"Not exactly because she did not want to be called a cradle snatcher, my dear." Maude met the Engineer's gaze. "You see Ezra was only seven."  

"Seven!" Julia burst out laughing. "My goodness, you were ambitious!" 

"Mother is this really necessary?" Ezra glared at Maude and dared her to continue at her own peril.  

Maude let out a sigh deciding that she ought to give her poor son some respite especially when it appeared he did like this young lady very much. "It's just so good to see you Ezra." She beamed and for once it was a sentiment that came from straight the heart. 

"It is good to see you too mother," Ezra answered and genuinely meant it, even though he was not impressed that Julia knew more about his past than he would have preferred. He noted the little smile that had crossed the lovely engineer's face and knew that her silence was because she did not want to intrude upon this tender moment between mother and son.

"And I'm so thrilled to meet you my dear." Maude glanced at Julia. "You know I've been hoping that Ezra finally found someone to give that ring to."

Julia blinked. "Ring?" 

**********

Buck Wilmington was very pleased with himself when he stepped into the shower cubicle inside his quarters on board the Maverick. Since the Captain was down on the surface of Risa taking a well needed rest, Buck had volunteered to remain on board and keep an eye on the ship while he was gone. Chris did not like the idea of both command officers being off the ship at any one time so Buck knew that if he did not offer to remain, Chris would forego the idea of taking a vacation altogether. Truth be known, a little time recreating was exactly what Chris needed. With the emotional roller coaster the man had been enduring the past few weeks, Chris needed a little respite from the pressure of having a thousand people relying upon him to keep them safe in the wilderness of space. 

So far, the sector was generally peaceful and though they were due to ship out of Risa in three days, Buck could feel the tension levels on the ship easing already. He himself had been down quite a bit and he did not mind taking the bridge. Being First Officer was a job he loved and while he enjoyed rest and relaxation, not to mention the opportunity to find pleasing female company especially those clad in very little, Buck did not mind being master of the Maverick for a day either. Everything was running smoothly and the tone of the bridge had been relaxed. Still when his shift was over, Buck was only too happy to step into a hot shower. 

Vin Tanner who loved hot showers had introduced Buck to the concept and very soon the First Officer could not deny that he too, found it extremely refreshing. More so than a sonic shower, even though the later was meant to be more efficient. As Buck soaped up and cleaned the day's accumulation off his skin, he found himself chuckling with amusement as the steam rose up around him. He knew that as First Officer he ought to be expending his time with more responsibility than playing practical jokes but it was so easy, he sniggered to himself through the warm shower of water coming down on his face.

Josiah had asked him what did he know about Risan culture and Buck had told him as much as he knew, embellishing a few facts particularly in the case of the horagon. However, Buck was adamant that he had done his crime for the very best of intentions. Josiah needed to relax just like everyone else and if he could do so in the company of a nubile minx who wanted nothing but to Jamaron? What's the harm in that? In fact, one would say that Buck was being a good friend, ensuring that the Counsellor who listened to so many problems and offered comfort to everyone on the ship, was also deserving of some attention himself. 

Besides, he snorted to himself. Josiah could take a joke. 

Buck had started to wash his hair when suddenly he noticed a strange odour filling the inside of the cubicle. It was not unlike peroxide or something that was bleach based. His nose wrinkled with distaste as the scent became stronger and was pressing against the sides of the small cubicle. Buck made a note to speak to engineering and decided the safest thing to do was to get out of the shower before he suffocated from the noxious smelling stench displacing his oxygen supply. Quickly washing his hair, Buck rinsed off and stepped of the cubicle, grabbing a towel from the nearby towel rack. He dried off and pulled a robe over himself before making his way to the com unit in his quarters to report the defective shower. Buck was passing by his mirror when he just happen to glance at his reflection in the glass and froze.  

He was blond! 

His hair was an uneven and badly dyed shade of blond hair, with intermittent dark patches sticking out in places, appearing a stark contrast against his dark moustache and eyebrows. Buck's jaw dropped to the floor as he let out a horrified gasp.  

"What the hell!" 

Josiah!

At that instant, the com unit started to beep and Buck let out a frustrated groan, swearing vengeance in all its ugly forms as he stormed to the com unit and answered whomever it was that dared to bother him at this unfortunate moment. As luck would have it, the face on the screen was JD Dunne's and the ensign's eyes widened as he saw Buck's appearance through the screen. 

"Buck, your ha....." he started to say when Buck cut him off.

"Not a word about anything else other than why you called me here." Buck warned gravely and JD had enough sense of survival to heed his words. 

"Yes Sir." The Ensign nodded, trying not to stare as he remembered why he had been contacted. "We've received a priority transmission from Starfleet Headquarters." 

Typical, Buck thought to himself. Just typical! A priority transmission meant that something urgent needed discussing and Buck was needed on the bridge immediately to discern what that urgency might be since the captain was off the ship. He would have no time to take care of his little 'problem'. Buck ran his finger through his hair and sighed to himself. "I'll be there shortly." 

"Yes Sir." JD nodded and couldn't not resist adding, even though it could mean his court-martial. "Blondie."

With that, he terminated the transmission having no wish to see Buck signing his death warrant. 

Buck saw JD's smirk before the screen dissolved and could only form one coherent sentence in his head.

You realise of course, this means war.

*********

Chris Larabee appeared on the bridge less than an hour later, having been summoned from Risa when he was informed about the contents of the transmission that had come from Starfleet Headquarters marked priority. As much as he hated to cut short everyone's furlough, especially his own, he knew that such transmissions were not sent without good reason and it would almost certainly mean the Maverick would be embarking upon another order. Chris had just enough to get back to his quarters, jump into a shower and slip into a fresh uniform before he was on his way to the bridge once more. As he made his way into the turbo lift, he allowed himself a little smile at the last few hours, particularly Mary's squeal just before he dropped her into the drink. She had been plenty mad for a few minutes before she too got into the spirit of things. They both engaged in mischievous bout of water splashing before they were joined by Vin and Alex after the science was done trying to drown the Vulcan for throwing her in to the sea.

 All in all, it had been a good vacation, despite the interruption and for the first time in days, his birthday was the furthest thing from his mind. Chris arrived on his bridge a few minutes later and stopped short when he saw his first officer. Buck Wilmington turned red as JD Dunne sat at his station, trying not to snigger. He could see the young man fighting for control to keep his need to chuckle out of Buck's hearing. Chris walked slowly towards the bridge, a look of decided amusement crossing his face as he met Buck's gaze. 

"Lose a bet?" He asked with a completely straight face. 

"No." Buck fairly seethed as his answer left him in a low hiss. "Someone programmed my shower cubicle to give me an instant dye job."

Chris did an admirable job of not laughing out loud but instead managed to respond quite coherently. "Someone?" 

"Josiah." Buck retorted without any hesitation. "Josiah did this to me." 

"I see." Chris answered but really he did not. "And what did you do to him?" Because Josiah would not be taking sweet vengeance like this without very good reason. Chris knew his Counsellor very well and it was nice to know the man could give as good as he got. 

"Nothing!" Buck exclaimed in exasperation. "I was trying to help."

"Having been on the receiving end of your help before Buck," Chris replied with all the calm he could muster as he lowered himself into his command chair without succumbing to the absurdity of Buck's new hair colour. "Exactly what did you do?" 

"I told him to buy a horagon and display it openly when he was at the beach." Buck answered guiltily. 

That did it for JD. Whatever control he had slipped at that moment and the young man burst into loud guffaw and even though it was completely inappropriate to do so, Chris could not berate him for doing so. However Buck was starting to get mad. 

"Ensign," Chris said shortly. "Compose yourself." 

"Yes Sir," JD replied, wiping the tears from his eyes.  

"Buck?" Chris stared at his first officer again.  

"Yes Chris?" Buck asked wondering if he could be any more humiliated.  

"I don't want to know." 

"But Chris....." Buck started to protest.

"I don't want to know." He said cutting off any further comment on this matter. At that, both first officer and the captain retired to the privacy of the Captain's ready room so that they could freely discuss the contents of the priority message from Starfleet. Chris slid behind his desk while Buck took his usual seat although Chris found himself needing a second to compose himself so that he would not stare at Buck's hair.  

"What was the transmission?" He asked when he was finally settled in.

"The Romulans may have broken the treaty regarding Dominion prisoners of war." Buck explained, all business now that they were discussing the issue at hand.  

"How so?" Chris asked.  

"Well you know that when we defeated the Dominion, we were meant to hand all captured prisoners over to the Founders for return to the Gamma Quadrant." Buck answered.

"Which we did." Chris stated firmly. The Maverick was one of the ships employed to undertake the activity following the end of the Dominion War.  

"Well we did," Buck answered. "But it appeared that the Romulans may be keeping Jem Haddar warriors and conducting genetic testing on them." 

"What?" Chris exclaimed in open shock. "Genetic testing is against all the conventions of modern warfare! The Romulans are one of the strongest supporters of this. They believe that it is dishonourable. Its the one thing that we all agreed on, Klingon, Romulans and Federation." 

"That's why we're being sent to investigate." Buck replied. "Our sources say that there is a research facility on Riga 3." 

"Riga 3 is inside Romulan space." Chris pointed out. 

"Our orders are to proceed to Deep Space 4 to pick up a special attaché named Dylan Pierce who will brief us on what we are to do next." Buck retorted automatically.  

"I hate these guys," Chris sighed easing into his chair. "They're always more trouble than they're worth." 

"Well in the case of this one, I guess that's true." Buck replied handing Chris the data pad regarding the history of the man.

Chris looked at Buck with puzzlement before reading the contents of the data pad, in particular the personal history of their soon to be guest. 

"Is this right?" He looked up at Buck. 

"Afraid so," the first officer confirmed. "He was Alex's fiancée." 

Part Three

With the advent of new orders, all furloughs were cancelled and personnel were recalled back to the Maverick. The mission ahead was one of crucial importance and the possibility of venturing into Romulan space was not something to be taken lightly. Chris had contacted Starfleet headquarters and received further elaboration on the mission to Riga 3. Upon learning what was required, much to his consternation, he immediately ordered a staff m meeting with his senior officers. It was the only time that Chris felt inclined to tell Starfleet they were insane but had to confess begrudgingly that if anyone could carry out the task they required, it had to be one of his own people. As far as Chris was concerned, there was none better.

Two hours after he had returned to the Maverick himself, Chris walked into the conference room and found the senior officers assembled. He had given each sufficient time to refresh themselves after the premature end to their vacation and though other personnel were still being recalled from Risa, it was necessary for the senior staff to arrive first. When Chris entered the room with the large windows on most walls offering a picturesque view of Risa and space, he heard JD gleefully relating the story of Buck’s new hair colouring to the rest of the crew. Josiah seemed very smug and Buck, who had since been to the ship’s barber to deal regain his natural colouring was trying to take all the laughter with good humour.

"You should have seen it!" JD tittered until he saw Chris and quickly stifled his laughter.  

"Now Mr Wilmington," Ezra turned to Buck with a smile. "I never thought you as a bottle blond."

"It wasn’t that funny." Buck grumbled. 

"Sure it wasn’t, Bucklin." Vin retorted and incited more laughter.  

"Now come on," Josiah spoke up. "I’m sure you’ve had enough amusement at our first officer’s expense." There were no signs of repentance in the Counsellor’s face as he made the statement. 

"You’re a fine one to talk!" Buck waved a finger at him. "You’re the one who did this to me!" 

"And you had it coming." Josiah drawled. 

"Officers," Chris raised his voice an octave as he reached the head of the table. "I think we can dispense with this discussion until later." 

"Yes Sir," Buck immediately silenced himself on the subject but not before he and Josiah exchanged a look of challenge across the table from each other that told everyone who saw it that this little war had only just begun. 

"Sorry Chris." Josiah remarked with a little smile, wishing he had seen Buck in his new do but was regaled with enough stories from JD to know that even if he had not seen his handiwork, it had certainly produced the desired effect. 

"Okay," Chris took a deep breath and let his gaze sweep over all his officers. "As you might have guessed, our furloughs were cut short because we have received new orders." 

"Obviously." Ezra remarked. "However, I take it that there must be some urgency involved." 

"Yes there is." Chris nodded. "After receiving the priority one communication from Starfleet, I contact Headquarters myself and received further data on this situation. It is very serious. Apparently, information has been smuggled to the Federation High Council that not all the Dominion prisoners taken during the recent war were handed back to the Founders. It looks like the Romulans may have held back a few Jem Haddar warriors for the purpose of genetic research." 

"That’s a violation of Khitomer Treaty." Mary pointed out immediately. 

"Yes it is." Chris nodded in confirmation. "However, to add a wrinkle to an already incendiary situation. The Romulans claims that they don’t know anything about it. In fact, they are somewhat horrified by the notion that it might be taking place under their noses." 

"So why don’t they sort it out themselves?" Josiah inquired. 

"Because," Mary let out a sigh, "Romulans being Romulans are too arrogant to admit that perhaps they might have let something like this happen right under their notice and would not like to call public attention to it by making the search themselves." 

"Exactly." Chris replied. "Which is why they want Starfleet to go in and confirm or deny the allegations and then submit the information to the Federation Council who will pass it to the Romulan Senate to expedite the matter quietly through the Tal Sh’ya. No one else in the Romulan Empire need ever know." 

"I see," Ezra mused. "We are protecting Romulan dignity is that it?" 

"Call it an attempt to further Federation Romulan relations." Chris retorted. 

"Captain," Nathan Jackson made himself heard. "Do we know what the nature of the testing is about?" 

"Yes," Chris frowned, bracing himself for the cry of outrage that was coming, if he knew his Chief Medical Officer with any efficiency at all. "The testing seems to be specifically centre on the building of a genetically superior warrior. In other words, whomever is responsible is trying to find out if they can build their very own Jem Haddar warrior, minus the dependency on the White."

Audible gasps flowed through the room and Chris could hardly blame them for their shock. It was generally agreed by the Federation, Klingon and Romulans that the idea of having a slave warrior race was one of the most detestable things about the Dominion and the Founders. The Jem Haddar were grown like some twisted crop to fight and win at all costs. The Founders had engineered them with a chemical dependency on Ketracel White, which not only kept them alive but very much subjugated to their masters. To the Jem Haddar, there was nothing more noble than dying in the service of the Founder who were their gods.  

To the rest of the Alpha Quadrant, it was obscene. 

"Is that possible?" Julia asked. 

"Anything is possible these days." Nathan shrugged. "The Founders haven’t devoted much time to it because it was in their best interests to keep the Jem Haddar under control. However, if you can engineer a warrior whose loyalties are set, who doesn’t have crisis of conscience and is twice as powerful as a Klingon, why not? There has always been research out there whose aim is to improve the body. We ourselves have been guilty of that. Genetic manipulation is as old as time. We did it with wolves, turning them into an entirely new species. We do it with plants and food crops and as recently as 20 years ago, we were doing it with children." 

"Not our finest hour." Alex muttered, remembering the days when fears of imperfect children led some parents to illegal institutions where children were corrected of their flaws on a genetic level. Ordinary children with no real deficiencies were being altered in order to reach some ideal in their parents' minds. The practice while successful in some instances, failed miserably in others, dooming the subjects to all kinds of severe mental instabilities. The Federation had banned the practice on all its worlds and the Klingons found it completely dishonourable, while the Romulans felt it to be a tampering of their all ready superior blood. 

"There’s more." Chris’ gaze shifted to Alex and Vin. "We’ll be rendezvousing with Deep Space Four in order to pick up a special attaché who will have further instructions for us regarding our mission. He’s with Starfleet Intelligence and has been to Riga 3 himself though not to the installation where the testing is taking place. He’s name is Dylan Pierce." 

Alex was in the midst of downing a sip of water when the name impacted upon her. She reacted by almost choking on whatever she was in the process of swallowing and managed to speak through her intermittent coughs. "Excuse me, did you say Dylan Pierce?" She stammered. 

"I’m afraid so." Chris nodded, unsurprised by her reaction even though everyone but Buck was staring at her in curiosity.

 "Here? He’s coming here? Dylan is going to be on this ship?" Her voice was almost panicked. 

"Well I know I speak on the behalf of everyone here when I inquire who the gentlemen is to you?" Ezra said with a little smirk, entertained by her reaction.

 Alex saw the interest in her friends and then noted Vin’s expression who neither curious not expectant but rather stormy. If she did not know better, she would say that he was jealous but that was impossible. Vin could not be jealous about her, she did not think he knew how but it was his manner that incited her most to produce an answer. "His my fiancée." Alex answered reluctantly. 

"You have a fiancée?" Vin asked. His voice was a thin line of tension.  

"Had." Alex stressed that word firmly, uncertain about Vin’s behaviour but decided that it was best if she gave him an answer and an explanation. Alex made a mental note to discuss this with him when they had a little more privacy. "I hada fiancée but it was a long time ago, before…" she faltered as she remembered exactly why she and Dylan were no longer together. "Before the Cardassians."  

There was no need for her to elaborate any further then that and Alex had no wish to answer any more questions regarding the subject in such a public forum. "Its my personal business." Alex met Chris’ gaze and added. "It will not affect my work." 

"I never expected it would." Chris offered her a little smile. Unfortunately, that was not the only bombshell he had to drop during this meeting.  

"Vin, I’ve had a request from Starfleet Intelligence to involve you in the actual reconnaissance mission." Chris turned to the Vulcan. 

"Me?" Vin exclaimed, more puzzled than hesitant. "Why?"  

"I must ask the question as well," Ezra spoke up. "With no disrespect to Vin, is this not a matter more suitable for someone with some tactical not to mention covert intelligence training?" The security chief did not at all like the idea of the helmsman being placed into such a highly dangerous situation. Even though Vin could acquit himself at the best of times, he was certain that Vin’s extensive survival skills did not extend to infiltrating a Romulan stronghold.  

"I know but Starfleet was not looking at it from that point of view." Chris responded, almost embarrassed to come out and say it because he had more or less reacted the same way that Ezra was doing now when he was first told.  

"What other point of view is there?" Ezra returned. It was not lost on the security officer the way Buck was fidgeting, unable to meet Vin’s eyes and Chris was stumbling with his explanations. "It's not because of the way he looks is it?" Ezra asked, his disgust showing clearly. 

Chris’ noncommittal grunt was answer enough. 

"That’s ridiculous." Nathan declared hotly, finding the notion of someone being assigned to a dangerous mission for the simple reason of appearance rather quite offensive on a basic level. "You can’t just let them send Vin into a situation like this just because he could pass for Romulan! There are still a whole lot of reasons why they might finger him!"
"Wait a minute…." Vin started to speak for himself but was inundated with voices from all ends. 

"I agree with Nathan." Mary retorted. "Sure Vin’s looks could get him past the door but Romulans are almost a different race from Vulcans now. It is the height of ignorance to assume that just because there are a few basic similarities that naturally he’s more prepared than the rest of us to be assigned a dangerous covert mission. I mean for starters they’re, they’re…." She searched for the word and finally found the one that suited. "They’re snotty." 

"Spoken like a true protocol officer." Julia remarked with a smile. 

"You know what I mean." Mary threw her a narrowed glare. "Chris, you can’t let them do this." She turned to the Captain. 

"I second the motion." Ezra declared.  

"Why don’t we hear what Vin has to say?" JD Dunne suddenly asked. 

"Out of the mouth of babes," Buck said with a proud smile at the younger officer. 

The entire table went quiet and Vin looked at JD and replied. "Thank you." The Vulcan turned back to his other colleagues, bristling with annoyance. "What exactly would I have to do Chris?" 

"As the others have guessed," Chris met his best friend eye to eye. "You need to go undercover. We could get a Vulcan to do the job but the terrain the Away Team would have to go through in order to reach the installation says you’d be more qualified. Riga 3 is a lot like the world you and your foster parents were marooned. You know yourself you’ve aced the survival training scores for the fleet. They want you because you can blend in if you have to and also because you can survive the terrain until pick up." 

"You can’t expect him to go alone." Alex started to protest. 

"Of course not." Chris retorted and was somewhat surprised that she would think that he would let one of his people go into hostile territory alone. "The attaché will be accompanying him and a tactical officer." 

"That would be me." Ezra volunteered without even thinking twice. 

"Sorry Ezra," Chris shook his head. "I need you on the ship. Our mission into Romulan space is of the highest level clearance. The rank and file do not know that we will be violating the Neutral Zone." 

"He cannot go down there on his own Captain!" Ezra protested.  

"I’ve got tactical experience," Alex stated firmly. "I’ll go." 

"Alex, no." Vin turned to her quickly. "I don’t want risking yourself for me." 

"And I’m not risking myself for you Lieutenant." Alex gave him a sharp look. "Next to Ezra, I am the most qualified person to go on this mission. A possible incursion with the Romulans does not require the presence of the Science Officer. I would be volunteering if it were any member of the crew, not just you. Friendship aside, I am a Starfleet officer." 

Chris did not entirely believe her either but she was right, she was the most qualified person on board to go if Ezra was needed on the ship. Vin felt silent and said nothing further about Alex’s involvement although Chris could tell from the expression on his face that he was not happy about it. Still that was a private matter between the two of them and Chris moved tactfully to the next order of business.  

"Vin," Chris spoke up and took his attention away from this concerns about Alex for the moment. "You are not obligated to go on this mission. Starfleet is asking you to volunteer. I won't order you to go if you don't want to." 

"Hell Chris," Vin shrugged. "I know the risks, I can handle myself." There was so much fearless abandon in his voice that Chris could not help but believe it. 

"In that case, I want to accompany the Away Team." Nathan suddenly spoke and astonished everyone by the request. Even Chris found himself staring at Nathan in surprise. 

"Absolutely not." Buck was saying even before Chris could get the words out. "We're only sending essential personnel on this one." 

"Buck's right," Chris added his support to Buck's response although he could see Nathan gearing up for argument.  

"I don't think so." Nathan responded predictably and Chris decided to at least let the doctor have his say before the captain was forced to turn him down. 

"And why is that?" Chris asked. 

"Well for starters," Nathan replied. "Vin is supposed to go in there and gain intelligence about genetic testing yes?" 

Chris had a bad feeling he knew where Nathan was going with this. "That's right." He nodded reluctantly. 

"Then how is he going to know what he's looking at without a doctor accompanying him?" Nathan asked smugly. "He'll have enough trouble trying to pass without trying to decipher what he's looking at. I should go on the landing mission to Riga 3, that way I can tell he what he's looking at when he penetrates the research facility." 

"I don't know Nathan..." Buck responded, very dubious about the wisdom in all this. "Its going to be rough and the larger this Away Team becomes, the bigger the odds of running into trouble." 

"You need a physician." Nathan insistent emphatically. "Out there in hostile territory, if any of you should get hurt, where are you going to get help?" He asked Vin and Alex in particular.

 "I'm hoping on the ship when they beam us up." Alex replied but saw something in Nathan's eyes that gave her reason for concern before she turned towards Chris. "Nathan may have a point. If as you say the terrain is as hostile as we think, it might be a good idea to have Nathan around. Not to mention that he's right, if Vin is to infiltrate a research facility, he would be of far more use to the project than I would be on that level." 

Chris frowned, not liking the fact that his CMO and his science officer had made some very valid points. As it was, he hated risking Vin to this venture but Alex and Nathan too? This whole thing was starting to give the captain a very bad feeling. 

"Alright," Chris answered tautly. "But this is all pending on the recommendation of Lieutenant Commander Pierce. He is after all the attaché assigned to this mission."

 "Yes Sir," Nathan responded, willing to concede the point that much. 

However, even though Nathan had relented on this minor point, he still left a number of questions about why he actually wanted to go. Chris knew the man well enough to know that while he was concerned about the welfare of the Away Team, there was something more at work here, some deeper concern that he was not voicing just yet. 

It was the unspoken that made Chris more nervous than anything else that was coming at them over the next few days.

************

 When the briefing was over, Vin Tanner caught up to Alexandra Styles who was progressing at a brisk pace away from the conference room and the rest of the bridge staff in the debriefing. Vin did not have to be telepathic to know that she had made her rapid departure because she was in no mood to answer any questions about Dylan Pierce. He had seen her evasive before and the pattern was always the same. Vin left the others behind him and immediately hurried down the corridor where he had seen Alex disappear. All it required was for him to move at a slightly faster pace for him to catch up with her as she stepped into the turbo lift. Vin slid into the confined space with her just as the door slid close and Alex's expression was that of a frown, which clearly indicate she had no patience to discuss anything right now, especially with him. 

Too bad.

"You left quickly." He accused as Alex instructed the turbo lift to take her to deck her quarters were situated. 

"I think we discussed everything that needed discussing." Alex said shortly, aware of what he wanted to bring up with her. Unfortunately Dylan was the one subject she was not touching with a ten foot pole. She had enough chaos running through her thoughts at the very notion that she would be seeing him face to face in a matter of days, to even broach the subject with someone else.  

Even if that someone else was Vin Tanner.  

"I don't think so." Vin returned just as tautly and addressed his next command to the computer intelligence carrying them to their next destination in the turbo lift. "Computer, halt turbo lift."

"Vin, what are you doing?" She demanded with more outrage than she felt. "I'm not talking about this with you." 

"Is that why you volunteered to go on the mission?" He asked, the heat of intense rage bubbling from the core of him with such potency that for a moment, just the idea of imagining Alex with another man was enough to make him fight the desire to put his fist through the wall of the lift. "To make sure he's safe?" 

Alex's eyes showed her hurt almost immediately but it was crushed by iron clad control as she returned with just as much venom. "How dare you?" She roared and struck him across the face. 

The reaction was immediate. Alex felt a fist clenching around her wrist and his weight slamming her into the wall behind them. She felt her back slap hard against the steel and looked up to see that he had both her hands pinned beneath his. For a moment, he did nothing but hold her there and Alex was so stunned she could barely react as she watched him leaned into her, feeling the muscle of his body pressing against her own. His movements into her were slow and languid as if he were relishing the feel of her next to him. His lips were inches from her and Vin buried his face in her hair, taking a deep breath and groaned in what was almost seemed like physical pleasure.  

"He can't have you." Vin whispered softly. "I won't let him." 

The tone of his voice and the closeness of him rekindled something inside her that snapped her reason into a thousand tiny fragments. Alex reacted instinctively with more terror than she had ever felt in recent years. "Computer, proceed to next deck!" She ordered and snatched her hand away from his grip. Once freed, she wasted no time and hit him again, this time she put every ounce of strength into it she could muster.  

Vin staggered backwards as the blow impacted on his consciousness. For a moment, he simply stood there until finally with a shake of his head, met her frightened gaze like a man waking up from a dream. His blue eyes turned on her and immediately registered shock and dismay. "Oh Jesus Alex," he started to come towards her and froze when he saw her take a step back in fear. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me." 

"Just stay away from me." Alex whispered, unafraid to admit that she was frightened of him. When he had her pinned and helpless, she was suddenly reminded of how she had felt when those Cardassian animals had brutalized her. Inwardly, she knew Vin would never intentionally hurt her but for one split second, logic had been superseded by instinct and she had succumbed to the full potency of her fears.  

"Alex I'm sorry!" Vin tried desperately to convince her. "I care for you, don't you know that? I care so much that just the thought of someone taking you away from me....." 

No, she shook her head. That was not it. What she had seen in his eyes was nothing like that at all. She wasn't sure what it was but she knew what she had seen in his eyes was not love or affection but need.  

Pure, hungry lusty need. For her.

Part Four

 When the debriefing had ended, Chris had dismissed all members of his senior staff except Nathan Jackson. Nathan’s sudden desire to wish assignment to the Away mission had indicated to Chris that the good doctor was privy to information he was not and this gave him a very bad feeling indeed. Nathan was the least troublesome member of his senior staff mostly because he was an amicable personality with a great deal of inner calm because his world was one that existed with clear boundaries of what was right and wrong. However, Chris also knew that if he embarked upon a course that he had determined to be right, the man could be a holy terror. Such vehemence only presented itself when Nathan was worried about crew and in this instance, Chris could not afford not to know what it was Nathan had been trying to keep out of the briefing. 

He stared at Nathan hard across the table after the others had gone and asked simply. "You want to tell me what that was all about?"  

"What Captain?" Nathan remarked innocently even though he knew he was delaying the inevitable. Nathan had usurped the captain during the meeting and forced his presence on the mission, a fact he was certain Chris did not appreciate, especially when he had not given the man the real reason why he wanted to accompany the Away Team. 

"Don’t play games with Nathan," Chris returned smoothly. "I’m better at it than you are. Now what is it?" 

The infamous Larabee glare bore down on Nathan and even though the healer would defend his position to the death, he could not help be affected by the harsh stare that was looking at him from across the table. "I’m sorry Captain," Nathan finally conceded, deciding he was being helpful to no one by being so enigmatic. "I know I overstepped my bounds a little but I had good reason." 

Chris’ demeanour softened a little and he eased back into his chair, indicating to his Chief Medical Officer, that they were back to being friends again, not superior officer to junior. "All right, I appreciate that. Now how about telling me why?" 

Nathan swallowed and wished he had something more concrete to go on but his experience and his instinct on this matter was all the proof he needed. Sometimes for a doctor, that had to be enough to save someone’s life. "Its Vin." 

Chris immediately sat up. "What do you mean Vin?" 

"Ever since we picked the Away Team up from Fury 361, Vin’s metabolism has been running like a locomotive. You’ve seen how he is. He has more energy then he knows that to do with." Nathan declared. 

Chris had to agree. Vin had been running on full steam lately. The activities they had been participating together were becoming more strenuous all the time. The climb to the top of the Monolith on Risa had been the latest in a long list of physically demanding endeavours. "I’ve noticed." 

"He said that when he was down there on Fury, he melded with one of those aliens." Nathan started to explain, finding it good to be able to talk about his suspicions for once.

"I remember." Chris responded although he found it hard to think about anything regarding that mission. His behaviour and the consequences of it had yet to fade from his memory or his nightmares. However, he brushed all that aside because he knew precisely what Nathan was referring to and when it had happened. "The thing landed right on him, he was fighting it hand to hand." 

"I think he melded it with it." Nathan stated. 

"Jesus." Chris whispered but somehow was not surprised. When they had gone into the alien nest to rescue Alex, Vin had been almost savage. Chris recalled how he and Ezra had been shocked when Vin had killed some of the creatures with his bare hands although at the time, both of them had believed it was because Vin was worried about Alex and trying to keep her from being an alien host. However, now that he thought about it, it was no so far fetched that his behaviour might have been attributed to some residual effects of his performing a mind meld with the alien.  

"It gets worse." Nathan continued, deciding to lay it all on the line for his captain so he understood why it was necessary for him to accompany the Away team on its mission. "When he came back, I noted that his metabolic rate was higher than usual. Vin told me about the meld so I figured that it wouldn’t last, that eventually his metabolism would return to normal. The thing is, it hasn’t." 

"It’s getting higher?" Chris asked, aware of how dangerous this could be. 

"And showing no signs of slowing down." Nathan said grimly. "At this rate, it will kill him if I don’t get some chemical suppressants into him. I was going to bring it up with him when he got back from shore leave but if he’s the main player in the next mission, I have to do it now." 

That was not the entire picture, Chris thought immediately as he saw the grave expression on his CMO’s face. There was something more that Nathan was trying to say but did not know how. This disturbed Chris even more than what he had already heard and had no patience to wait for Nathan to bring it up. "There’s more isn’t there?"  

"Yes," Nathan admitted reluctantly. "I’m pretty sure I can get his metabolic rate under control if it’s just a symptom of the meld but there is another problem." 

"There’s always another problem," Chris growled. "It wouldn’t be normal on this ship if it wasn’t, so tell me how much worse it could be?" 

"The accelerated metabolism could also bring on Pon Farr." Nathan said quietly. 

Chris’ eyes widened. "Wait a minute," he declared, real anxiety flooding into his voice now. "At his last physical you said that was almost two years away!"  

"I know that but everything about this meld he went through with the alien is increasing his metabolism. If it does happen, no drug, no suppressants, no treatment I know is going to stop it. The Vulcans are very closed mouth about this; I can’t even get them to talk to me. They would rather handle the treatment of the subject themselves, at least until they realise that its Vin we’re talking about." 

"Aw hell." Chris swore visibly disturbed by the idea of Vin undergoing this part of his maturing process prematurely. "What are we in for?" 

"The usual." Nathan responded. "Unless he mates, he dies." 

"How do Vulcans normally handle this?" Chris inquired, realising he knew very little about that process itself. He supposed he could have asked Mary about the subject, since she had been married to a Vulcan and would know exactly what happened during this turbulent period in their physiology. However, he had always felt a little uncomfortable about discussing about what was clearly a personal matter between herself and her husband. 

"I don’t know too much about the actual customs itself because this is about as taboo as subject as you can get with Vulcans. I do know that they arrange marriages for their children very early on and there is some kind of pre-mating ritual where the child is melded to their mates. Its meant to strengthen the bond between them until is time for the actual mating. Now whether or not Vin’s parents ever got around to it is something we’ll never know. He was very young when they died so it’s highly likely that there is no mate." 

"What about Alex?" Chris asked, hating the fact that they were having this discussion. They were talking about Vin’s sex life for God’s sakes! Not just Vin’s but now it appeared Alex’s as well. Chris could not imagine that this conversation could become any more awkward.

"No good," Nathan was already shaking his head. "She’s human. In the state he’ll be in with none of the disciplines that Vulcans take years to prepare themselves with, he could hurt her." 

"You’re joking." Chris exclaimed, not knowing whether or not this was funny or not.  

"No I’m not," Nathan looked at him seriously because this was nothing to joke about. "If he takes her for a mate, he could kill her and won’t even know that he’s done it until after it’s over." 

"Jesus Nathan!" Chris found himself shouting. "What the hell do we do?" 

"I don’t know," Nathan shook his head. "I honestly don’t. At this moment, I can’t even say this is going to happen but the possibility exists." 

"I can’t send him on this mission." Chris leaned back into his chair with a loud exhale. "I can’t send him down there with Alex and to top it off, her ex fiancée! It will like throwing a match to gasoline!" 

"Can you talk to Starfleet?" Nathan asked. "Maybe if we explain the situation." 

"Starfleet won’t be the problem. It will be Vin. You know how he is about being Vulcan, he’ll fight me tooth and nail on this." The captain replied unhappily. "Not to mention that while Starfleet did not make his involvement an order, they were pretty clear they wanted me to make it happen. Relations between the Romulans and the Federation are still pretty cool, even after the Dominion War. There are fears that if we don’t start making nice with them, they might chose to take the opportunity to attack us while we’re in the process of rebuilding the fleet after the war." 

"So no matter how this plays out, he’ll still have to go." Nathan guessed what Chris was trying to say. 

"More or less." 

"I hope I’m wrong Chris," the doctor said sincerely. "I hope that this is will pass."

"But you don’t think so do you?" The captain guessed accurately, serving with Nathan long enough by now to know that the man was no alarmist. He would not have offered to go on a mission as dangerous as the one to Riga 3 unless there was very good reason to be concerned. 

"No, I don’t." Nathan answered. "I think if it doesn’t happen, we will be very lucky." 

Unfortunately, the way their luck had been lately, Chris had little faith in good fortune. He found himself faced with the one situation, he prayed he would never have to face. Through no fault of his own, Chris suddenly realised that the moment was drawing close when he would have to choose between his duty to Starfleet and his friendship with Vin Tanner. 

*********

"You seemed troubled."  

Alex could not disagree with Bishop’s assessment on her mood because she was troubled. After he confrontation with Vin, she had to the holo deck where she continued her simulation of building a working model of Bishop’s android form. It had been hers and Julia Pemberton’s pet project since they had brought the remnant of Bishop’s form from Fury 361 where it had had been languishing for the greater part of four centuries. Bishop was the only relic of 21^st century robotics in existence and in order to give him a voice despite the destruction of his body, the science officer and engineer had integrated him into the holodeck systems, so that he could at least have corporeal form inside the recreational facility. 

"I’m fine." Alex said shortly as she continued to study the interior model of the simulation Bishop had provided regarding his internal schematics.  

The workshop in which they were conducting their research was set in the middle of a sunny beach. There was sun blazing down on her and the lapping of ocean waves in the nearby distance. Even though nothing before her was real, she enjoyed the visual stimulus and it helped to calm her down after her encounter with Vin with the turbo lift. It was also a chance for Bishop to feel as if he were not just trapped in a holodeck. She knew that she was being foolish, assigning all kinds of emotions to the android but she could not help it, something about him convinced Alex that Bishop was as real as any sentient could be. 

Bishop did not press for a few seconds after she made her curt remark, choosing instead to walk to the shore and wet his feet in the water. Of all the humans on board the Maverick, she reminded him most of Ripley. There was the same haunted expression in her eyes, the mark of someone who had seen too much too soon and endured nightmares that others could not possibly imagine. He supposed that’s why he enjoyed talking to her so much. It was almost like talking to Ripley again. Sometimes the captain came in and talked to him too, except the captain mostly asked questions about his ancestor, Private Dwayne Hicks of the Colonial Marines. Bishop told the captain as much as he could about the corporal who bore such an uncanny resemblance to his 24^th century counterpart. However, Bishop had not known Hicks for very long and could only tell him what little he knew during their brief acquaintanceship. 

"I’m not really troubled." Alex spoke up after a moment, putting down the tool in her hand and staring after him. "I guess if there was a word for it, its spooked." 

"I know the term," Bishop said with a little smile. "What’s spooked you?" 

"Vin." She said with a slight frown. 

Bishop knew that there was something of an odd relationship between the Vulcan and the science officer. What he had accessed through the ship’s data banks told him enough about Vulcans in general for Bishop to know that Vin Tanner was not your average one. He was more human than he was Vulcan and having studied something of the man’s Starfleet records, Bishop understood why. "What exactly did he do?"

"He touched me." She responded after a pause feeling embarrassed to be even bringing this up. "I mean he’s touched me before and I’ve even shared a bed with him, not that anything happened though," she quickly explained. "But when we were in the turbo lift today, it was very different." 

"I was under the impression that he was not mature enough to sense sexual pleasure." Bishop stated, padding nothing. 

Alex flinched, feeling her inhibitions rise up around her when the situation was put so bluntly. "That's what I thought but it didn't look that way. I mean he looked like he was really enjoying it." 

"How do you feel about that?" Bishop asked. 

"What do you mean how I feel about it? What am I suppose to feel?" She retorted somewhat annoyed. 

"I asked because I was under the impression that you and the lieutenant were...." Bishop started to say when Alex cut him off. 

"We're just friends." 

"That share a bed." He pointed out. 

"We just sleep together. I have nightmares...." Alex answered, dropping her gaze to the sand. "When I sleep with him, they go away. I don't know why." 

But she did know. She knew the first time she felt his arms wrap around her in the darkness and felt his heart pounding against her back when they spooned. It was because he made her feel safe. Somehow, when she was with him, she did not remember the nightmare with the Cardassians, she did not remember how they abused her because she could only feel his hands on her skin and all the horror seem to bleed away in the face of his tender touch. 

"I see." Bishop said quietly. Having access to almost every terra byte of information on board the Maverick made Bishop privy to the details of her incarceration and the abuses she had suffered at the hands of the Cardassians. Such an intimate step with Vin Tanner could not have come easily and only reflected the truth depths of her feelings for him.

"What do you see?" Alex asked defensively but she still wanted to know what he thought. At first she had been horrified by Vin's actions, the look in his eyes and the feral need that reminded her too closely of another time when she had been subjected to that kind of scrutiny. Unfortunately, the more she thought about it, the more confused she became. Hadn't she tried to make love to him once before? When Gul Lemar had been on board and she was undecided about whether or not she would gut the bastard for what he had done to her, she had turned to Vin and tried to make love to him. He had been unable to respond and said nothing even though what she had done was more intrusive then what he had attempted in the turbo lift earlier. 

"I think you care about him a lot." Bishop responded. "I think that your relationship with him has been safe until now. You had all the comfort of a lover but not the physical demands. Now that it looks like that might change, you're naturally afraid." 

"I'm not afraid of anything." She bit back but she was lying and she knew it. 

"You are afraid of this." Bishop said bluntly. 

"You're an android." She retorted. "What would you know?" 

"I've been programmed to analyse human behaviour so any conclusions I reached whether erroneous or not are based on your responses." He said with a good-natured smile. 

"And to think, I plan to help you walk among us." She said sarcastically. After a second, she remarked. "You're right." She confessed with a sigh. "Until now it has been easy. He fills a space inside of me no one else can. A space that hasn't been filled for a very long time." 

"Then what's the problem?" Bishop asked in that infuriatingly calm voice.  

"I have a lousy track record with relationships." Alex pointed out. "I don't want to take that step with Vin and then have it go the way the others did. I couldn't stand it. We've got something good and if I mess it up, I couldn't stay on this ship." 

"How do you know it will fail?" He looked at her. 

"Because it always has and a day from now," Alex sighed. "The living proof of that is going to be on board the ship." 

Dylan Pierce.  

God, could her life get any more complicated?

************

 What was the matter with him? 

Vin Tanner was still unable to believe how he had behaved when he was in the turbo lift with Alex. One minute they were discussing her ex-fiancée and the next thing he knew, she was against his body and he could smell that amazing scent of hers in his lungs. Her hair felt like silken strands against his skin and there was a moment there when all he wanted to do was to stay there, feeling her soft body against his lean hard one forever. Nothing else mattered, not the fact that they were behaving most inappropriately for two senior officers or the fact that when she looked at him, her eyes were filled with fear. Vin had frightened her. 

When he regained his senses he could not understand what had led him to behave the way he did. Of course, Alex would be scared out of her mind. After what she had been through with the Cardassians, how could she react any other way when a man came on to her that strongly? Vin did not even know why he had done it. Lately he had been noticing her more acutely than ever. Suddenly, the way she moved in her uniform made him picture what she would look like without it and when she smiled at him his heart started pounding and he wanted nothing but to hold her. Fortunately, she had not needed him to help her sleep the last weeks because God only knew what he would have done he found himself pressed up against her when she wore so little. 

Was he actually experiencing some sort of sexual awakening? Is that what this was? Vin wished he knew for certain. If this was what he feared, if this was Pon Farr then he would have to find himself a place to hide because the animal he would turn into would terrify Alex and Vin would not see that fear in her eyes for anything. 

He was on his way to his quarters when he saw the slender redhead walking up ahead. Whatever thoughts that had been in his mind faded away momentarily as he admired the form strolling in front of him. Even before he knew what was happening, he found himself hastening his pace until he was walking right next to the woman staring at her data pad. 

"Lieutenant Richmond." Vin greeted. 

Charlotte Richmond raised her eyes and realised whom it was who had spoken to her. Immediately, she looked around to see if Commander Styles was around. Charlotte had no wish to be in the second officer's doghouse if she inadvertently said something unkind to this Vulcan. Fortunately, for the moment, he was alone. "Lieutenant Tanner." She said with a painted on smile with no real warmth. 

"You're looking good." He responded with a husky tone to his voice that was completely unfamiliar. 

"I beg your pardon?" She exclaimed in surprise. This sort of compliment from Vin Tanner was completely unexpected. The man was usually so shy and barely said a word to anyone who was not a member of the bridge staff.  

"I think you heard me the first time Charlotte." He said giving her a long look that started at her toes and by the time he reached her eyes; she wondered how come the corridor had suddenly jumped ten degrees in temperature.
Charlotte swallowed hard, remembering the cruel jibes she made about his sexuality when he had first arrived on the Maverick. She had been mean and could understand why Commander Styles had rebuked her. She wondered if he remembered how nasty she had been and was playing trucks with her. However, the smouldering blue eyes undressing her even as she stood before him, played havoc with her common sense. 

"I've just finished my shift." She started to say, watching him closely and admitting now that she understood why he was viewed with such desire by a larger majority of the female crew than he probably knew. "I was going to my quarters for a little dinner. Want to join me?" She asked nervously. 

Vin took a step closer to her and let his lips brush past her hair at the barest fraction. She smelled nice. Her scent was floral, that much he knew and she was very attractive. He stared down at her, at the curve of her lips, the tapering smoothness of her neck disappearing past the high collar of her uniform. A surge of something ran through his veins and suddenly Alex was very far away from his thoughts. 

"Sure." He answered after a moment. "I could eat." 

Charlotte returned the suggestive remark with one of her own. "I'm sure you could." 

Part Five

 For the second time this day, Vin Tanner wondered what the hell he was doing. 

He had gone to Charlotte Richmond’s’ quarters, gone through the motions of pretending they wanted to share a meal together when their needs were far more basic than a hunger for food. Now he was in her arms, kissing her, touching her the way he would be touching a lover. He could smell the heavy scent of her desire in his lungs and the silk of her skin against his palms as he caressed her exposed flesh. She could hear her moaning somewhere in the back of her mind as he continued to kiss her and thought the feeling of lips against his own was somewhat satisfying, it somehow did not feel right. For seconds as she continued to draw him into her passionate embrace, stoking the fires of his own rising needs, Vin tried to understand what about it felt wrong.

Physically, he was responding to her. Everything about this was as it had been described to him by Buck and so many others who felt sorry because he had never fully understood what physical pleasure was. Now as he experienced it for himself, he found that something was missing. He had no idea how he had come to be in this position and still puzzled over the emotions that had carried him to this intimate place within Lieutenant Richmond’s quarters. He barely knew the woman and what little contact he had with her prior to this heated tryst, was hardly conducive to what the passion they were sharing together. He had always imagined this moment transpiring differently and suddenly, like a man rising from a fog, he understood why. 

She was not Alex. 

The realisation was so acute that it almost had a physical impact upon his person. Without thinking twice, he pushed himself out of her arms, felt her hand tear away from where she had been making circles on his bare back with her palms. When he blinked and the desire for her faded, he found that she was staring at him in dismay, urging him to come back to her with soft whispers and promises of delights beyond his ability to imagine. However, the craving for her had well and truly passed. It was barely even a need for her, Vin thought frantically as he searched for his blazer on the tumble of clothes on the floor. It had been a need for a body. 

"What’s the matter?" Charlotte asked breathlessly as she looked at him with eyes full of urgent need. 

"Nothing." He said quickly, turning away from her bare torso because he suddenly felt embarrassed by this whole situation. Even though his innards were still shuddering from the sensation of running his hands against her supple form, exploring her like he had always wanted to touch a woman that brief feeling of pleasure was fading. Instead, he felt overwhelmed by shame. He couldn't even meet Charlotte's desperate gaze. "This was a mistake." He muttered staggering for the door, clutching his turtle next in his hands. His blazer flapped open, revealing his smooth chest beneath. 

"No it wasn't," Charlotte caught up with him, her hands snaking past his neck, wanting nothing more than to have him stay. How could she not? When he had kissed her she thought she might die and those sensitive fingers moved over her body like he was feeling it for the first time. She had never been so aroused or had greater need of any man in her life. "It was wonderful. Stay." She coaxed, her mouth raining kisses on his bare neck. "You won't regret it." 

"I already do," he pulled away easily when he had five times her strength. Vin pushed the door panel and almost fell past them when they slid open, leaving his would be lover bewildered and disappointed. 

Vin staggered out of her quarters, hardly daring to look behind him as he stepped out into the corridor beyond her room. For a minute, he kept walking straight ahead, unaware of where he was going, only wracked with this terrible feeling of guilt he had done something unforgivable. What in the hell was happening to him? What had possessed him to do what he had just done? Despite his emotional dilemma, Vin knew that there had been a moment when he had wanted nothing else but to satisfy all his curiosities regarding the female gender. He had been swept away by a surge of lust so great, he had no idea what he was doing until he snapped out of his stupor when he was half-naked on top of Charlotte Richmond.  

Is this what had scared Alex so much when they had been in that turbo lift, that he might have been swept away by his needs for her so uncontrollably that he could actually be as brutal as the men who had raped and tortured her in that Cardassian prison? 

"Vin?" He heard a familiar voice call his name in astonishment. 

Vin looked up and found the normally unreadable Ezra Standish staring at him with open surprise.  

"Ezra." Vin swallowed with no idea how to explain himself. 

Ezra's eyes studied him closely for no more than a fraction of a second before the security officer stated firmly. "My quarters are just ahead. I think we should retire there for the duration." 

In truth, that was a very good idea. It was actually quite possible that Vin Tanner was rather distraught at this point in time. He was confused and he felt as if he was occupying a slightly lower notch on the ecological chain then the Denebian slime devil. "Okay." He nodded. 

Ezra's quarters, thankfully was not far from where he had encountered the security officer. As always, Vin admired Ezra's ability to keep the place in such immaculate condition. The man's taste in furnishings always made Vin wonder if Ezra's roots were not a little Texan himself. The main theme of the decor was set somewhere in the late 18^th century of the American West and Vin was reminded of the ranch where he had spent his years on Earth after being rescued from that world on the Rim.  

"Take a seat." Ezra said graciously as he went to the replicator and instructed the computer to provide them with a cup of coffee for himself and hot chocolate, which was Vin's beverage of choice. Vin was slipping off his blazer to put on his grey turtleneck when suddenly, he felt something soft and warm rub past his leg. 

"You have a kitten." Vin remarked looking at the big round eyes staring at him through a ball of fur. He never thought Ezra as a cat person. 

"Yes," Ezra frowned looking at the creature. "Mr Tanner, allow me to introduce you to Huxley."  

"Huxley?" Vin stared at him. "That's a weird name for a cat." He pointed out. 

"Trust me," Ezra stiffened. "It was better than what Julia wanted to name her." He declared as he handed Vin the cup of hot chocolate that immediately announced its pleasing aroma in Vin's nostrils. "She wanted to name it Fluffy." 

"I think Huxley's a good choice." Vin said with a completely straight face. "Why did you get a cat? Didn't you think you were much of an animal lover." 

"I am not," Ezra smouldered as he sat down on the chair across Vin. "But apparently before Julia and I take the all important step of sharing the same residence, she believes that it is necessary that we own an animal to improve our ability to mutually cooperate prior to that momentous occasion." He said with more than a hint of sarcasm in his voice. 

"Okay." Vin shook his head, not understanding but not really in the mood to pursue the subject. Instead, he took a sip of his hot chocolate and went quiet for a moment. 

"So," Ezra eased back into his chair and finally remarked. "Are you going to leave me in suspense or are you going to require to make a wild guess as to why you were in a state of partial undress in the middle of the corridor."
Vin stiffened and shot him a dark look. "I don't know want to talk about it." He bit back. 

"That is of course your prerogative," the security chief said smoothly as he reached over and picked up a deck of cards on the table in front of him and began shuffling it. "However, I am under the impression that you might need to." 

"I don't know what's happening to me." Vin burst out suddenly. He had not even considered taking Ezra up on his offer until he opened his mouth and the words came without any discussion with his feelings on the matter. "I almost hurt Alex today." He whispered and met Ezra's gaze. As always, the southern let no one in on what he was thinking which only made Vin all the more anxious.

"Hurt her? How?" Ezra asked. There was no indication of alarm or accusation in his voice. He asked his question the way he might question a witness to the event, not the actual participant. 

"I was so angry by the idea that she might still care for this fiancée of hers that I grabbed her and then I wouldn't let go." Vin's eyes seemed to look past Ezra, as if he was replaying the events in his mind and offering a running commentary. "I held her tight and it felt good feeling her against me. I didn't want anything else but to feel her there, where she was mine." 

"How did she take that?" Ezra inquired, even though he already knew the answer. Ezra knew Alexandra Styles well enough to know that such an action would not be received well and the lady had quite the temper. 

"She was afraid of me!" Vin exclaimed as if it were the most awful thing in the world. 

Ezra sensed that for him, it might well be. No one was blind to the relationship between the two even though it was platonic. The seven men who made up the senior staff of the Maverick had a special relationship of their own. Each were mavericks in their own way and it seemed only natural that they formed some kind of cohesion on a ship named after themselves. The women in their lives who worked at their side and who loved them in turn were of a different calibre themselves. He knew that Julia in her way was unique, just as Mary had to be extraordinary to capture Chris Larabee's heart but Alex, Alex was always something different. Of the women, she was the strongest, the most resilient and the loneliest. Alex could be in a room full of people and still be solitary.  

In that way, she and Vin had a great deal in common. 

"She was more likely afraid of something else that you might have reminded her of but I doubt she was afraid of you." Ezra responded, seeing the genuine dismay in Vin's eyes and knowing that he did not like it one damn bit.

"I never want to see that look in her eyes again." Vin swallowed. "I couldn't stand it." 

"Perhaps you ought to see Doctor Jackson," Ezra suggested. "Your behaviour is not normally so aggressive. It may be a simple case of bad health."  

"It gets worse." Vin muttered. 

Ezra somewhat imagined it would, judging by the fact that the helmsman was minus his blazer and smelt distinctly of perfume that was not Alex's scent.  

"You do not have to tell me Vin," Ezra offered. "If it bothers you that much." 

"It does," Vin admitted but he did need to talk to someone. He could not make any sense of his behaviour and perhaps, Ezra who had more experience with these things might be able to. In any case, it felt good to talk to someone who would just listen and not worry about how his behaviour might affect his duty, their friendship, his state of health or his mental well being. "But I need to. Ezra, I was with Lieutenant Richmond." 

Ezra's brow crooked upward. "When you mean with, are talking about with in the biblical sense?" 

"No I didn't have sex with her." The Vulcan retorted. "I wanted to though. I got to what Buck calls second base." 

"Ah yes," Ezra shook his head in distaste at the term employed by their first officer. "I forgot what a poet the man can be but do go on."
"I was just walking along, trying to figure things out and there she was." Vin related. "Suddenly I just wanted her. I don't even know why. Hell, I don't think I even like her, she was just....." 

"There?" Ezra ventured a guess. 

"Yeah," Vin nodded. "I went to her and I started talking to her and I barely know what I said but she invited me back to her quarters for dinner." The expression on the Vulcan's face was so mystified that Ezra had a feeling that Vin was still rather astonished by his encounter with Lieutenant Richmond.  

"I was all over her and I liked it Ezra." Vin declared. "I mean she let me touch her and I didn't mind doing it. It felt good." 

"Well you have nothing to be ashamed of." Ezra said quickly. "It seems you are finally experiencing what it feels like to fully appreciate a woman." 

"That maybe but I don't think every man just sees a woman and decides that he wants her." Vin grumbled. 

"Then Buck Wilmington must be an aberration." Ezra retorted until he saw Vin frowning and added further. "As disturbing as you might find it, these feelings are new to you and perhaps they caught you a little unaware. For the rest of us it is easy, we have a great deal of time to become accustomed to the awakening inside of us. It is different for Vulcans and for you who have been displaced from your race, it is doubly hard. You have no reason to be ashamed of anything you might have done. I know the situation between you and Alex is somewhat grey but you need to talk to her, you need to explain."

"I can't face her." Vin muttered dropping his gaze. "I can't face her after what happened with Charlotte." 

"Vin," Ezra took a deep breath and did not want to add to the Vulcan's worries but he would not consider himself a good friend if he did not speak up. "This may be a ship with one thousand people in it but rumour travels faster than wildfire. Trust me when I say to you that it would be better if Alex heard it from you than have news of your tryst with Charlotte Richmond reaching her ears by any other means." 

Vin slumped into the chair and groaned loudly. "Hell can this get any worse?"  

"Sure it can," Ezra looked at the kitten that was presently sharpening her claws on his sofa and narrowed his eyes in dislike. "She can forgive you and make you buy her a cat." 

*********

Although his talk with Ezra did make Vin feel somewhat better. He was still furious at himself for turning to another woman. He did not even like Charlotte and the more he thought of it, the more he felt his rage bubble. Vin did not know what was happening to him and felt as if he was jumping out of his skin. The need to react was almost overwhelming and his thoughts became a random jumble of conflict as he strode towards his quarters. He thought about Charlotte and how much trouble a few minutes of pleasure was going to cost him. It was not fair! He wanted Alex and Alex was afraid of him! 

She was not afraid of him when she invited him into her bed, he thought angrily. 

Where was her fear when she wanted him to hold her in his arms and take the nightly terrors away? He started to feel the fury build up inside of him and it was increasing at an almost juggernaut pace the more he thought about her. She had wanted to make love to him once. He remembered her lips against his and how she had run her fingers through his hair as her tongue slipped past his teeth. He could not remember how it felt but just thinking about it sent more shivers of desire through him. He thought about Charlotte and remembered how she had whimpered under his touch. She had begged him to stay. If he wanted to, he could go back there and finish what they had started.  

Except she was not Alex and it was Alex he wanted. 

He wanted to know if Alex would make the same breathless sighs when he caressed her skin and kneaded her flesh under his palms. Would she beg him to stay as Charlotte had begged him? He wanted to see her beg. He wanted it so much. It took a few seconds for Vin to realize that his escalating emotions had one common vein; that he wanted only Alex. He could not have her! He could not go to her and see that look in her eyes that the very idea of touching him when he wanted her so badly, was probably repulsive!  

Stop this!

The human part of his brain shouted at him.  

Stop this before you get out of hand, pard.  

Vin paused in mid step and took a deep breath, trying to quell the furious emotions running through him and knew if he did not do something soon, he would not only hurt Alex but anyone who happened along his way. What was happening to him? In all his life he had never felt this out of control! Right now, it was taking all his powers of restraint not to seek Alex out so that he could show her that there was nothing to be afraid of, just as he showed Charlotte that he was very capable of being a man. Maybe if he could just hold her down and show her... 

Jesus, did you just hear yourself! Hold her down? Like a Cardassian? 

Vin fairly screamed in rage and slammed his fist into the nearby wall. By rights he ought to have broken every bone in his hand but to his surprise, there was no such injury and the place where he had impacted his knuckles had dented in. The talk with Ezra was light years away and Vin was shaking when he tried to compose himself. Taking a deep breath, he remembered some of the lessons Mary had taught him about maintaining his control. Mary, his mind flared with inspiration. He would go see Mary! She would know better than anyone what was happening to him. However Vin found himself recoiling from that idea as soon as it crossed his mind.  

He could not go to Mary. She was a woman and right now, women were having way too much effect on him. If he were to hurt her in any way, he would not only have to live with the shame of what he had done to her but also lose the best friend he had ever had in his life. Chris Larabee. Vin knew that the captain would never forgive him for the insult to the woman he loved. So now he found himself at another impasse and the obstruction just made him angrier. Vin tried to think of what to do and finally struck upon the only course left to him. 

The holodeck was thankfully empty when he stepped into its confines, not that it would have mattered if it were not. He would have thrown anyone who was using it in his present state. Vin stepped in the middle of the empty room and spoke out loud to the computer intelligence that would produce the program he needed. 

"Computer," Vin spoke in a low voice. "Activate restricted Tanner Combat Program 1."  

Vin had created the program shortly after their return from Fiorina 361 and had been using it of late though he told no one of its existence. He was certain they would not understand and in truth, he had no inclination to explain himself.  

"Restricted Tanner Combat Program activated." The computer responded. 

Suddenly, appearing around him was stygian world inside the alien nest where he, Chris and Ezra had been forced to traverse in order to rescue Alex. The computer's recreation of the hellish place was almost perfect and Vin nearly forgot that he was inside a program and not the real thing. He stared at the corpses littering the grimy floor, the cavernous chambers and the dark silhouettes that became even more menacing with the thin layer of mist floating past them. He removed his blazer and his turtleneck as the temperature became hot and humid, just like it was inside the real thing. Beads of sweat immediately ran down his bare torso. 

"Computer," Vin said softly. "Bath'let." 

The bath' let materialized on the ground next to him and Vin lowered himself to pick it up. He could hear them approaching, could detect the wet slithery sounds they made as they converged upon him in numbers. Vin let the rage take over, feeling it surge through his veins and allowed it to suffuse him with more raw power than he could ever imagine he was capable of feeling. The awareness of the coming battle made his fingers tingle and his throat dry with anticipation. He closed his eyes and opened his mind, hoping to feel the creatures but knowing he could not because they were not real, they were merely a manipulations and light and magnetic containment. However, he did remember how it had felt when he had been inside their hive minds and that memory sustained the frenzied blood lust that was reaching apogee inside of him. He had constructed the program removing the alien's deadly acid blood from its matrix, to make their battles a little more even. He knew it was cheating but the creature s were formidable even if they did not bleed. 

The first alien lunged at him and Vin swung the bath' let at its streaking black form, slamming the sharp curve of the blade past the jaw of its elongated head. The alien did not even have time to scream as its jaw detached from the rest of its body. It died before even touching the ground and flurry of shape behind him had Vin swing again, this time hacking the creature in mid thorax. Flaying arms and tentacles flew at him from another darkened corner and toppled him to the ground. Vin fought off gnashing teeth and scratching claws, which had every ability to tear his flesh because he had created this program with the safety protocols disabled. Vin rolled on top of the alien and shoved the bath' let down on its thin neck, severing its head from the rest of its body. 

He leapt off the carcass and saw another alien coming at him and Vin did not waste any time, he swung the blade hard and fast, striking the alien down brutally as he did the others and he was nowhere ready to stop. As he saw more and more of them coming at him, Vin Tanner could only smile and let the rage take over. He wanted to kill something. He needed to kill something and he wanted to do it a lot. Better holographic images rather than something that had a soul to lose.  

Even though he was starting to think that his might be already gone.

Part Six

Well it was done.

His news on his stance that his helm officer was incapable of taking part in the mission to Riga 3 had not impressed Starfleet. Unfortunately, they were aware of what Pon Farr was and the terrible risks they faced by including a member of the ground team who could at any moment, become a powder keg that would not only endanger himself and his fellow officers but the mission as well. A compromise had been reached; Alexandra Styles would go but it would be Ezra Standish would accompany her. Although Chris did not like the idea of losing his security officer while they were in enemy space, he knew Ezra had other officers who were capable of filling his role for the duration of the mission. Chris had also taken out a little added insurance should they actually run into a Romulan war bird. 

Now all that left for him to do was to tell Vin. 

The Maverick was a few hours away from Deep Space Four and no doubt the special attaché would be informed of the situation prior to his arrival. This was one of those times when Chris questioned the wisdom of having a close friend under his command, particularly when Chris had to tell him such news. He knew without any foresight or prescience that Vin would not take his removal from the mission well, especially in fear of something that might not happen. However, as captain, Chris could not afford to take the risk of inserting Vin into an Away team mission where he might end up being more of a danger to them then the Romulans that they were attempting to infiltrate. 

When he heard the chime at his door, he knew that it was not Vin Tanner. Chris had not struck up the nerve for that meeting just yet. He knew he was delaying the inevitable but he was in no particular rush to face his friend's wrath, captain or not. Instead, when he beseeched his visitor to enter, it was Ezra Standish that walked into the captain's ready room, not the young, spirited Vulcan. 

"Captain," Ezra greeted as he entered. "You sent for me." 

"Yes," Chris nodded, gesturing for Ezra to sit.  

When he did that Ezra knew immediately that Chris was not seeing him as Chief Security officer but rather as a friend. Obviously the man had something he did not wish to impart because his body language was steeling himself for some test of endurance. "Something wrong Chris?" Ezra asked informally. 

"You could say that." Chris drawled sipping his coffee slowly. "You'll be taking Vin's place down on Riga 3." 

Although this news was not entirely unwelcome because he felt uncomfortable about any member of the crew going into such a hazardous situation without him, Ezra had to wonder what was the reason for it. "Why?" He asked after a moment. 

"This is between you and me for the moment." Chris looked at Ezra, with the Larabee glare that indicated that he was serious and to ignore his captain's request was to do so at his own peril. "Nathan believes that Vin might have melded with an alien while he was on Fury 361."  

"I see." Ezra took it rather well but then it was unusual for him to be open to outward displays of surprise. "Is this the reason for his somewhat exuberant behaviour of late?" 

"Nathan seems to think so." Chris confirmed. "Nathan also thinks that it might get worse than it's already been, that it might be bringing on Pon Farr." 

Ezra was aware of the term and its significance to Vulcans although the details were shrouded in mystery. "I think he might be right." 

"What makes you say that?" Chris met his eyes sharply; taking it from his remark that Ezra had something to add. 

Ezra had no wish to break Vin's confidence but in light of what Chris had just told him, he was obligated to tell Chris what he knew about Vin's possible condition. "We had a discussion about how he and Lieutenant Richmond had engaged in an amorous exchange." 

"He was with a woman?" Chris exclaimed.  

"Yes," Ezra resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Last I looked Lieutenant Richmond was female unless we are extremely mistaken about his sexual orientation." 

"Don't be funny." Chris growled, feeling awkward enough about the whole situation. "So what happened?" 

"Well he was very confused, not to mention agitated. For starters, he had no idea why he chose Lieutenant Richmond for such a tryst, other than she was there." 

Chris let out of a deep sigh. "It's starting. As you might have guessed, in light of what's coming at him, I can't authorize him to go on that mission. That's why you have to take his place."

"How did Starfleet take it?" Ezra asked, unable to imagine that they would have been happy about the situation.
"They weren't thrilled about it," Chris confirmed. "However, they know about Pon Farr and how bad his condition is going to get when it starts getting worse. We've come to the decision that we'll perform a little minor cosmetic surgery on our Away Team to have them blend in. Vin's participation would have been better but we have to make the best of a bad situation." 

"Have you told him?" Ezra asked. 

"No," Chris shook his head. "Suffice to say, he's going to fight me on this but I'm not changing my mind. I'm going to have Mary talk to him about what's going to happen." 

"Forgive me for prying but what exactly is the solution here?" Ezra asked, more concerned about Vin the dangerous mission ahead. "If I understand correctly, he must mate." 

"You're right," Chris said uncomfortably. "He has to mate or he'll die." 

"Should not someone inform Alex?" Ezra stared at Chris. She was the closest thing that Vin had to a mate; surely telling her would be a necessary first step. 

"Nathan doesn't think he can mate with a human." Chris informed. "It has to be with a female of the species. There's some kind of meld involved, some type of bonding process. If he mates with Alex, he could conceivably kill her without knowing it." 

"Oh charming." Ezra grimaced. "Unfortunately, unattached Vulcan females are in short supply captain. Cannot Doctor Jackson find some other remedy?" 

"He’s working on it." Chris said grimly. "I’m going to have a talk to Mary, see if there’s anything she can suggest."

However, Ezra noted that the captain did not look hopeful of a solution other than the obvious. Ezra felt sorry for Vin who wanted nothing to do with Vulcans because he was raised human and now would die because of it. It did not seem at all fair. "Are you intending to let Alex know before she goes on the mission?" 

"I haven’t decided that either." Chris confessed. He knew that Alex would be severely conflicted about leaving the ship if there was the remotest possibility that Vin might die because of his condition. However, not telling her would be a disgraceful act of cowardice on his part and something he was certain she would never forgive him for if the worst happened. Chris himself was trying to find some solution out of this desperate circumstance forced upon him by the idiosyncrasies of Vulcan mating habits. Vin was his best friend and the idea of losing the young man was more than Chris could stand. 

"Captain," Ezra said rising to his feet. "There are times when I do not envy you your job." 

"Ain’t that the truth?" Chris drawled with a discontented sigh. 

************

 Vin was presently still on duty at the helm of the Maverick and Chris saw no reason to tell him the news until after the man was off duty. In truth, he knew he was avoiding the issue but this was one of those times when his duty came into conflict with his friendship. He supposed his whole relationship with Vin Tanner could fall under that classification. Vin was younger than he and a junior officer and yet they had struck up a friendship almost immediately upon his assignment to the Rutherford. Vin had arrived on the Rutherford less than a week before the Borg engagement that saw Chris' promotion to Captain. They had barely spoken a few words until that last battle, where Vin had stood by his commanding officer in an incontestable show of loyalty even though everything was going to hell around them. There had been a brief instance when it looked like all was lost, after captain was dead where both men exchanged a look of knowing exactly what each would do and from then on the bond that had been forged in that chaos had endured beyond all expectation.

The last few weeks, Chris had seen the change in Vin but self-confidence was always something Chris hoped for the shy young Vulcan who always seemed most comfortable when no one noticed him. Vin stood up and made himself counted whenever the situation required it but for social occasions, he retreated into that shell created by a life living almost entirely alone in rustic isolation. It was largely through Chris and Alex’s collective efforts that Vin had emerged from his cocoon and the friendship of the six men who made up the Magnificent Seven, according to an in joke by the rest of the crew that had done its best for Vin. Chris hated to think that all the confidence and inner peace that Vin had displayed of late was the alien’s influence and worst yet, that it was merely the beginnings of an even greater tempest.  

Still Vin had to know what he was facing and Chris had no intention of allowing enduring this turbulent transition alone. He refused to believe that the lack of a simple biological function being satisfied would be the death of his trusted friend. If there was a way to keep him from dying, Chris would move heaven and earth to find it and strangely enough, Chris was not afraid to put up his command as collateral for such a gamble. If it meant his captaincy, Chris was more than willing to do what was necessary to see Vin get the help he needed. Fortunately, for the immediate present, nothing as drastic as that was required, however, Chris found that to get any further, he would have to consult with the one person who knew what Pon Farr was better than any other human on board the Maverick. 

"Mary." Chris announced himself after he had left the bridge to Buck who was at this moment, plotting some secret revenge on Josiah while taking centre seat.  

"Chris." Mary exclaimed with some measure of surprise at his unexpected arrival. Normally when there was ship’s business to discuss, he would summon her to his Ready Room, deciding early on in their relationship that there were some professional boundaries that had to be maintained for it to work. He rarely came to her quarters like this and it made her wonder if there was not anything amiss.  

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she stepped aside and allowed him into her quarters. "Is something wrong?" 

"We need to talk." He said unable to shake the persona of captain that was dictating his manner at the moment. "It’s a personal matter.’ 

Mary looked at him puzzled, finding his choice of words strange. "Personal?" 

"I need to ask you about something personal between you and Syan." He finally managed to say, unable to believe how uncomfortable he felt talking to her about this.  

Mary’s browed arched and she turned away, unable to fathom his reason for asking but certain that he had a good reason. Fortunately Billy was at school at this time of the morning so it was possible for her to speak freely. Mary retreated to the sofa and faced him after she sat down, taking a deep breath and waiting for him to sit before she answered. 

"What do you need to know?" She asked because she loved him and they were at a point in their relationship where there were no secrets between them. 

Chris let out a deep exhale, hoping she was not too affronted by the question. "I need to know about Pon Farr." 

"Pon Farr?" She blurted out. "Why?" 

"Vin." He said simply and it was all the explanation she needed. 

"Oh my god," she gasped. "Is it time already?" Her fear and alarm was genuine and Chris started to feel his own concerns deepen as if they were not bad enough as it was. 

"We’re not sure." Chris answered. "Nathan seems to think that he might have inadvertently brought it prematurely when he melded with one of the creatures on Fury 361. You seen him the last past weeks, he’s been running on full steam." 

"I did wonder about that." Mary acknowledged that much from her own observations. 

"And Ezra told me that Vin apparently had something of an encounter with Lieutenant Richmond." Chris added. 

"With Charlotte?" Mary exclaimed, aware that Charlotte Richmond was not exactly Alex’s favourite person in stellar cartography after having overheard some of her remarks to Vin when he had first arrived on the Maverick. That he would choose her of all people to test the waters of his sexual maturity was more confirmation then any thing else Chris had said so far. 

"Fortunately, the encounter was not as serious as it could have been." Chris phrased himself delicately. "I had to take him off the mission. I haven’t told him anything about what Nathan and I suspect but I informed Starfleet of the problem and they did understand. So he’s off the Away Team but before I go and drop that bombshell on him, I want to know if there is someway to help him, other than the obvious." 

"I don’t know," Mary though to herself. "Its not exactly the most openly discussed subject and to almost never spoken to outsiders. Although they don't openly say it, I do know many Vulcans aren't at all pleased that we know about it." 

"Well to tell you the truth, I'd be happy to remain ignorant about it myself," Chris retorted. "Unfortunately I don't have a choice in the matter. So tell me what are we in for?" 

"Its difficult to say," Mary confessed. "Vin doesn't have any of the preparation that most Vulcans have for this. He has no bonded mate and worse yet, he has not even reached maturity. Syan and I were both prepared for Pon Farr when it finally came and he had some measure of control because we were married prior to it taking effect. Sexual maturity does not always bring on Pon Farr when there are disciplines to reinforce control. Vin has none of this and so when it comes for him it will be severe. He will become aggressive, exceedingly so." She paused and tried to think of all the symptoms that would arise and knew that she probably could not account for all of it. 

"If you think he's strong now, he'll be worse. I've heard of Vulcan denting steel when they're in the deeper throes of Pon Farr." 

"Terrific." Chris shook his head, trying not to become more anxious with every word she was speaking. 

"There will be a point when he will no longer recognise us if the mating does not take place. It's called the Blood Fever. At that stage, he will have to mate or else his metabolism will begun to shut down once it reaches climax. His chemical imbalances will become extreme and unless he expends that pent up aggression by mating or combat, he'll die." 

"Combat?" Chris looked up. "Did you say combat?" 

"Yes," Mary nodded. "It's called the khoonakaliffe. " She recalled the legends behind the ritual and explained further. "In the days before Surak, a Vulcan who decided not to bond with its chosen mate would fight his or her rival in a trial by combat." 

"What if we would do that?" Chris asked, a spark of hope inspired. "If we can get him to fight it out, maybe it will snap him out of it." 

"No," she was already shaking her head. "Its no good Chris. It's trial by combat to the death. Whomever he fights, he'll probably. It won't work any other way. Sometimes and its rare, the shock of taking a life can snap them out of it but only if the person is someone very close. If not, they'll just be removing the rival, not the actual mate. " 

"Then I have no idea what we're going to do?" Chris let out a deep sigh. "I hoped you had some idea of helping him." 

Mary felt disappointed herself that she could not produce some way of helping Vin through this situation. "Does Alex know?" She asked. 

"I haven't told her." He answered automatically. "I thought I might want to see what Vin wants to do about that. So much is out of his hands already, I just didn't want this to be either." 

Mary nodded in understanding. "Do you want me to talk to him?" Mary offered, knowing how uncomfortable Chris felt about the whole situation. Indeed Vin would feel the same way too until he realised the full ramification of what was going to happen to him. 

"No," Chris shook his head, standing up reluctantly. "I'll tell him. I can do that much for him at least." 

**********

Chris left Mary's quarters and immediately requested the computer tell him Vin's present whereabouts since it was well and truly past his duty shift already. The computer informed Chris diligently that Vin was to be found on Holodeck 1. Even though he wished he did not have to do this, Chris knew he could not put off telling Vin his decision regarding the mission to Riga 3 any longer. As his best friend, Vin had earned the right to be told the truth no matter how painful it might be for Chris to be the bearer of such news.  

Upon reaching the Holodeck, Chris activated the door access and was immediately denied entry by the dulcet tones of the main computer. 

"Restricted?" Chris barked at the non-corporeal speaker who had just informed him that Holodeck 1 was presently under restricted access. 

"Under whose authorization?" He demanded.

"Lieutenant Vin Tanner." The computer answer. 

Why would Vin restrict access on a holodeck programme? Despite himself and Vin's need for privacy, Chris felt tendrils of alarm that he could not explain. Telling himself to apologize to Vin later, Chris took a deep breath and ordered. "Computer - command override. Authorization Larabee, Christopher Captain." 

"Authorization accepted." The voice responded and the door slid open. 

Chris stepped inside the program and froze the minute he found himself at the arch controls that allowed him passage to the simulated world. Logically, he knew that this was a creation of light and magnetic containment but the thick humidity in the air, clogging up his lungs with its stifling heat. Shadowy alien constructs around him in cavernous chambers immediately started his pulse racing, along with the mist drifting around his legs. For a moment, he wanted to turn around because the most terrifying thing in this place was not the alien whose domain this was but rather a young woman named Angel whose last sensation in this world had been his lips on hers. Chris had thought he was starting to put all that behind him. However being here brought it all back again in every painful detail.  

After what took an eternity of seconds, Chris forced himself to move, to venture deeper into this hellish recreation, each step dogged by a personal reminder that he was safe on the holodeck on board the Maverick, where a simple command from him could force this nightmare away. He had not walked more than a few steps when he heard the sounds of screeching aliens in the distance. Fighting the urge to call for the arch so he could exit this place, he forced himself forward because he knew Vin was here and repeated to himself once again that this was a simulation. 

He found Vin in a larger chamber but he was not sure that it was his best friend he was seeing. The aliens seemed to pay little attention to Chris and were attacking Vin in force. Chris watched in horrified fascination as he saw Vin tearing aliens apart with either his bath' let or his bare hands. Carcasses were piled up around him; serrated jaws open agape in death, alongside torn limbs and shrivelled bodies. The imagery was beyond nightmarish and Chris was certain that Dante, even in his deepest deliriums about hell's inferno had never pictured anything like this, because not even the aliens and this place was as terrifying as seeing Vin. 

He moved almost as fast as the aliens did and where their limbs began and the Vulcans ended was difficult to tell. It was almost a ritual of death, painted in the elusive colours of dance. The carnage was in its way beautiful and Vin looked nothing like the friend Chris had known, he was almost animalistic in a way so primeval and lustful that for a moment Chris questioned whether or not he would recognise his captain. 

"Vin." Chris finally spoke. 

The helmsman stopped in his tracks, his eyes shifting to his captain. For a moment, Vin did not recognise Chris, he was certain but then the memory flooded back and Vin blinked twice and swallowed. 

"Computer freeze program." He instructed softly, unable to hide his embarrassment at being found in this program. 

Chris approached him slowly and suddenly everything Nathan had been warning about Pon Farr seemed more than just a possibility but rather a solidifying reality. "What is this?" Chris asked, his voice low. 

"A combat program." Vin answered after a second, his chest swelling up as if he had decided he was not going to be ashamed of it.  

"I guessed." Chris said cautiously, unable to believe this feral looking man with rips in his skin, covered in smatterings of blood was his usually dependable helmsman and friend. Chris had thought this was going to be hard but after seeing this, his decision became remarkably easy. 

"Vin, we need to talk."  

"What about?" Vin demanded, tense. 

"The mission." Chris said taking a good step away from the Vulcan. "You're not going." 

"Why?" Vin shot back and took a step forward, hostility in every pore.  

Fear was not something Chris felt often but staring into those savage eyes told him that if he did not feel it then he was a fool. "I think you know why. This," he looked around him with a sweeping gesture. "Is part of it." 

"It's just a combat program." Vin insisted. 

"Maybe it is," Chris was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. "But there's more going on with you and I think you know what it is." 

"It's not happening to me." Vin barked back and answered Chris' question irrevocably.  

"Yes it is." Chris nodded. "I didn't know it until now." 

"How can you know anything!" Vin was on him in a second and Chris felt fingers locking around his throat before he could get away. The power in Vin's grip was beyond Chris ability to break and it clenched around his throat like a vise. 

"VIN!" Chris groaned as he felt himself lifted off the ground until his toes of his boots were scuffing the floor. 

"Jesus!" Vin let him go as his plea penetrated through the rage induced fog of the Vulcan's mind. Chris dropped heavily to the floor and began gasping. He looked up long enough to see Vin scrambling away, his eyes wide with horror at what he had done.  

"Vin," Chris struggled to breathe, "Its okay, I'm alright." He gasped as he tried to get to his feet. 

However, Vin was not listening. He did the only thing a man who had just tried to kill his best friend could do other than to beg forgiveness and that was to run.

 PART SEVEN

 PART THIRTEEN

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