Part Seven

Alex had stepped out of the shower when she heard someone pounding frantically on her door. Almost instantly, her heart clenched knowing instinctively who would behave like this and hesitated as she tried to decide whether or not to let Vin into her quarters. However, she also remembered the trials she had endured and how he had patiently stood by her, offering support and friendship when she needed it most. Despite her recollections of their last encounter, Alex knew that she cared too much about Vin Tanner to deny him that same support. She brushed her away reservations and went to answer her door, deciding what would happen, would happen, daring to face it only because it was Vin. 

As her door slid open, she stared for a moment in stunned silence as he saw him standing before her, covered in blood and sweat, eyes wide with fear. Seeing this way drove any other thoughts out of her mind beyond his well being. 

"Vin, what in God’s name happened?" She demanded almost afraid to touch him. 

"Please let me come in Alex." He pleaded.  

There was no doubt in her mind about denying him that. She stepped aside and watched him enter her room, trembling and felt panicked thoughts running through her mind when she saw the bruises and lacerations on his skin, not to mention the blood that had soiled his uniform. Alex waited until the door sealed them in and kept the rest of the world outside before she approached him. He was standing in the middle of the room, looking like a lost child and Alex immediately felt her heart go out to him and knew that no matter what had happened in the turbo lift, she could never turn him away when he needed her.

"Vin, what is it?" She went to Vin and touched his cheek, hoping the warmth of her touch would do something to his distraught state.  

"I don’t know what’s happening to me!" He stammered, a thousand uncertainties running across his handsome face, almost driven to despair. "I can’t control anything! Half the time it feels like I’m eaten alive from inside out!"

"Vin!" Alex held his face in her hands as he started to rant and made her look at him. "Its okay," she spoke in a soothing voice. "I believe you. Please, tell me what’s wrong?" 

He blinked slowly and wrapped his hand around her wrists, unable to believe how good it felt just feeling her touch him and to say that things were all right between them again. Even as Vin stood before her, he had to restrain himself because the need for Alex was overwhelming. He wanted to touch her so badly, to do all the things he had done with Charlotte and felt so little but was certain would feel right with Alex. However, he also remembered that he had hurt her and Chris as well, the two people in the world who meant more to him than any other. With that in mind, he forced himself to remain focussed though it was very hard to do. 

"I think I hurt Chris." Vin finally managed to say. 

"Hurt Chris?" Alex exclaimed. "How?" She forced herself to remain strong for him because he needed to be. He probably felt bad enough without hearing anything she had to say on the subject, most of all reproach.

"I got angry and I couldn’t control myself." He responded, his words leaving him in a flurry of verbal deluge. "He told me I couldn’t go on the mission and the next thing I knew I had him by the neck! Alex I almost lifted him off the ground."

With his strength, she could well believe it. Vulcans were four times stronger than humans under normal circumstances and what Vin was suffering right now did not appear normal at all, so it was incalculable how much stronger he was at this point. He could have very well harmed Chris without being aware of what he was doing until it was too late. However, she could not bring that observation to him at this moment. He was terrified enough as it was without adding to his fears with that insight. Right now, Alex did need him calm because he was clearly agitated and the slightest thing could provoke him into the same behaviour that had allowed him to harm Chris. 

"Let’s just see if he’s alright." She suggested as she made him sit down while she went to find her com badge. 

Vin lowered himself into the sofa obediently, too shaken to do anything else. As he watched Alex move towards her bed where her com badge was presently residing on the uniform sprawled on the sheets, he found himself admiring her slender form barely concealed in the robe she was wearing. Once again, he felt himself overcome with a surge of desire he could not control and her words to him became distant as if spoken from a distance through a thick fog. He remembered how Charlotte had begged him to stay and wondered if he touched Alex in the same manner, would she beg him too. Vin did not even realize it when he stood up and started towards her. 

"Captain," Alex tapped her com badge unaware of Vin’s approach. "Captain Larabee." 

A response came almost immediately. 

"Alex?" Chris’ voice asked.  

His voice sounded hoarse which immediately escalated her anxiety considering what Vin had just told her about harming Chris. "Captain, are you alright?" She asked anxiously. 

"I’m fine." He answered firmly, wanting no misconceptions on that point because Chris could undoubtedly guess what sort of turmoil Vin was enduring at present. "Is Vin with you?" 

Chris’ acumen regarding Vin’s present location did not surprise her in the least. It was impossible to lose anyone on board the Maverick, what with the internal sensors and com badges operating with its usual efficiency, however Chris would also know that there were very few people on board that Vin would turn to help in times of crisis.  

"Yes Sir," she answered with no desire to hide the truth from him. "Are you sure you’re okay?" She questioned again, knowing that the more reassurance he received over Chris’ well being, the better off he would be. 

"He didn’t hurt me." Chris answered, catching on to her meaning. "Alex, Nathan wants to see Vin immediately. He’s not well. He needs to come to Sick Bay." 

His words sounded ominous and there was a tension in their consistency that made her fear that Vin’s condition was not just erratic behaviour but rather something far more serious than that. Her pulse started to race without Alex even being aware of it and she swallowed thickly as she heard Chris acknowledge her promise to bring Vin to SickBay. The idea that she could lose Vin suddenly rose up like bile in her throat and gripped with her with an intense feeling of fear. It would be like losing a part of herself and Alex did not know whether or not she could cope with the loss. Ever since he entered her life, Alex could not deny that he had contributed much to healing the wounds of her tragic past. Not only was he her friend but the reliable shoulder she could lean on for support during those times when she needed someone to chase away her nightmares. For a woman who was always so strong and self-assured, it surprised her how much she needed his strong arms to hold her tight and tell her everything would going to be okay in that too soft voice of his. She knew that her feelings for him were far deeper than she dared admit and for first time, realised that they were reaching some sort of apogee where she would no longer be able to deny it, to Vin or herself.

When Alex turned around, she found Vin standing before her. Before she had time to react, he lowered his head and pressed his mouth against hers in a kiss of furious passion. Strong arms slid around her waist, driving his body into hers in perfect synchronicity. Alex was too astonished to react, feeling his hands slide down her back and then over the curves of her rear, before lifting her up easily in one swift movement. Any protest she attempt to make was stifled by his tongue questing past her teeth, cutting off the words she tried to speak. Alex felt her head swim, unable to resist the onslaught of that incredible mouth kissing her with such passion, until she found her own hands wrapping around his muscled back, fingers running through his satisfying long hair. 

"I want you so much." He whispered when he moved his lips away from hers, his hands trying to slip past the fold of her robe, desperate to feel the flesh he so wanted to possess. "Please Alex, let me touch you." He said huskily as he lowered her onto the mattress, undoing the knot of her robe until the material splayed open, revealing her naked flesh to him. 

"Vin." Alex started to whimper when she felt his lips burrow into her neck with such need, it took her breath away. He nibbled at her neck with the expertise of someone who knew what exactly what it took to make her quiver. She did not even realise that he was on top of her until she felt the cool air against her skin and realised that her robe was open and his hands was kneading her breast insistently, pausing occasionally to finger the erect nipple under his tips. Her astonishment melted away to pleasure and for a few seconds, she found herself enjoying his kisses and his touch, the feel of his hard body pressing into her, getting harder with each passing moment. 

"Alex," he groaned. "I need you so bad." He whimpered. "Please let me be inside you..."

"Oh Vin," she whispered, her body arching and pressing more of herself into him. She wanted to let him make love to her, had never wanted it so much in her life but the fact was, he was trying to satisfy a need he did not understand and that was not quite the same as making love. Even though there was a time when the difference would have hardly mattered to her, it was not that way any more.  

It had not been that way since she met him. 

"Vin, we can’t." She managed to regain some semblance of coherence to say. "This isn’t right. I don’t want you like this, when you don’t have the mind to choose. This isn’t you."

"Yes it is," he countered dreamily, finally having her in his grasp and understanding why it had been so wrong with Charlotte and so utterly perfect with Alex. He could feel every fibre of himself wanting to please her, shuddering with pleasure each time she sighed at his touch in a place that appreciated it. "I don’t want anyone else, just you." 

"No," she started to push him away, aware that if she did not, she would lose her resolve and they would take this heated moment to its end only to regret it later. "Not like this." She squirmed from under him.

"I want you Alex," he continued to murmur, his hands now sliding towards her wrists. "Please don’t make me stop." 

"You don’t want this Vin," she said softly, feeling herself overpowered by sensation when his lips started nuzzling the delicate flesh of her throat. This had to stop, she told herself aching, and this had to stop right now.

"Enough." She pushed him away. "Get off me Vin." She said coldly. 

"NO!" He forced her down again. "I want you now!" He hissed, his hand pinning both of hers to the mattress. 

With her arms held down firmly, Alex fought the instinct to do him serious injury, even though she was being revisited by familiar terrors that would have certainly justified such a violent response on her part. However, Alex knew that he cared for her and that it was not impossible to reach whatever semblance of him that was left amidst the raging turmoil of his desires. She could reach him. She had to.

"Are you willing to rape to get me?" She asked softly. 

He froze as if he was slapped and stopped what he was doing immediately. There was an eternity of time when Alex saw the anguish and horror of what he was doing, impress itself upon his brain. Vin left out a strangled gasp and shrunk away from her, almost as if he was scaled. He removed himself from her with far more efficiency than she could have managed herself. Vin closed his eyes as he scrambled away, feeling revulsion rising from the deepest corners of his insides, calling him filthy names because he had become the thing he promised he would never be with her. Vin dropped to his knees as Alex sat up, pulling her robe around herself. He stared up at her and saw that she was not looking at him with anger or disgust but sympathy and immediately felt a thousand knives dig into his heart, all laced with the poison of guilt.  

First Chris, now Alex! God he wished he were dead!  

The tears came in loud ragged sobs and Vin did not even realise he was crying until he felt the wet on his face. However, instead of feeling her rejection for his heinous act of near violation, he was received with her open arms wrapping themselves around him. She was kneeling before him, holding him not like a lover but someone who was his friend, who forgave him everything even though he had behaved like an animal. Like someone who loved him and always would. 

"I’m so sorry." He wept in shame. "I didn’t mean to hurt you. I would never hurt you." 

"I know," she crooned in his ear, prepared to keep him in her embrace for as long as he needed her to believe him. "I know." 

*********.

When Vin Tanner arrived in SickBay a short time later, Chris Larabee and Nathan Jackson were already waiting for him there. Alex had called ahead and informed the Chief Medical officer of their arrival. When the Vulcan entered the medical centre of the Maverick, he saw Nathan tending to Chris. The doctor was running a dermal regenerator over Chris’ throat, which clearly displayed the dark purplish marks left behind by Vin’s powerful grip. As the Vulcan entered the vicinity, he met his best friend’s eyes and was immediately force to avert his gaze out of sheer guilt. He was mortified at what he had done now that his raging emotions had settled a bit. Not only had he harmed his captain and best friend, he had almost done something unforgivable to the woman who meant everything to him. Vin wanted nothing but to crawl away and die. Unfortunately, neither Alex nor Chris were about to allow him such a cowardly respite. Alex had promised to be at his side no matter what and Chris had made the same entreaty to do everything that was humanely possible to help him.

"Vin, you okay?" Chris asked first, more worried about the Vulcan’s state of mind than feeling any anger towards Vin for what had been done to him through no fault of his own. There was no doubt in his mind that Nathan’s suspicion about the Pon Farr was indeed the nightmare Vin was facing. What he had seen in the holodeck and Vin’s subsequent reaction was proof of that. 

"I’m sorry Chris." Vin stammered still unable to look Chris in the eye. "I didn’t mean to hurt you. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I can’t seem to get a handle on anything." 

"Its not your fault." Nathan said automatically, finishing up with Chris and setting down the regenerator. He came around the examination table where Chris was perched so that he could tell Vin face to face what was happening. "Vin, this is my fault. I should have had you in here before this but I was hoping that I was wrong." 

"What are you talking about?" Vin asked confused. This was not Nathan's fault or anyone else's for that matter, this was his!  

"Vin do you know what Pon Farr is?" The doctor asked. 

Vin’s eyes widened in shock. Of course he knew what it was. The minute he understood what sex was, he had read up on the subject, what little of it there was anyway. Mary had explained some aspects of it and what he knew, told him that it was not an experience he wanted to endure. He wrenched himself from Alex immediately and started hyperventilating because being told that news was tantamount to discovering that he was going to die. 

"That’s impossible!" He returned. "I’m too young! It can’t be happening to me yet!" He burst out, unable to believe that this was the cause of all his problems. In truth, a part of him had suspected it but Vin had prayed that it was anything but that. He knew the insanity that took hold of Vulcans during this phase of their biological development and he had no wish to endure the ordeal himself. Yet he knew as well as Nathan did that there was nothing to stop it. 

"I know," Nathan tried to explain, seeing Vin being reduced to panic. The young man was afraid and for good reason. He knew what Pon Farr was and in his place, Nathan would feel just as much terror. "I think its been triggered prematurely because of your meld with the alien on Fury 361." 

"Shit!" Vin swore loudly. 

"Vin, calm down." Chris slipped off the examination bed as he saw his best friend starting to become unhinged again. "We can work this out. We'll find someway to deal with this." 

"What the hell are you men talking about?" Alex demanded and Chris realised that it was not surprising that she did not know what it was. A very few select people knew what Pon Farr was, himself, Nathan, Josiah, Mary and Ezra. To all other non-Vulcans it was one of the deepest mysteries of Vulcan culture. They chose not to discuss it in any shape or form.

"The Pon Farr is the time of sexual maturity." Nathan tried to explain but could see he would have to be more succinct because Alex was starting to become more distressed by Vin's terror of the subject. 

"I figured that much out!" Alex said caustically. 

"It's more than!" Vin shouted. "I'll turn into some kind of savage. I won't know any body and I won't be able to control myself at all! This isn't even the worse that its going to get, is it?" He demanded. "Tell her!" 

"If he doesn't mate, he'll die." Chris explained. 

Alex stared at him in shock. "You're joking." 

"No." Nathan shook his head. "I wish it was a joke but if Vin doesn't mate, he will die. During Pon Farr, his body goes through a chemical imbalance that can only be corrected by satisfying the need. It's not just a sexual but also a mental bonding. That's why Vulcan parents choose mates for their children at such an early age." 

"Shut up Nathan!" Vin barked, hating to have Alex hear all this. He never felt so humiliated in his whole life. "Ain't this bad enough as it is? Does Alex have to know everything?" 

"Well maybe he's telling me because I might be able to help." Alex returned and Vin turned around sharply and looked at her, understanding in an instant what she was offering, even though she was not so gauche to come out and say it.  

"You would do that?" Vin asked, wanting to make love to her but unable to stand it if he knew that it was for pity. "Just to save me?" 

"No," Alex shook her head. "Not just to save you." 

"It has to be a Vulcan." Chris cut in before this discussion went any further, hating to do so but there were just some realities that needed facing.  

"Why?" Alex turned to him. "I thought if he mates....." 

"It's not that simple Alex," Chris glanced at Nathan, preferring him to explain because Nathan could do it better. 

"Its because I'm going to turn into some damn animal!" Vin barked unable to face her as he turned his back to all of them. "I could hurt you, maybe even kill you." 

Alex was not surprised by that revelation. She had seen how vehement he had been when she had refused him. "So it has to be a Vulcan." She nodded in understanding, reminding herself that the best way to view this whole situation was with the detachment of a science officer, not the woman who cared greatly for Vin Tanner.  

"Yeah," Nathan nodded. "Usually it's a female he's bonded it when the pre-meld ritual was held during the choosing of mates. Even if that weren't the case, its the fact that Vin knows nothing about the Vulcan disciplines that allows to maintain some measure of restraint, even in Pon Farr." 

"So what can we do?" Alex asked and then noted the blank expressions on both Chris and Nathan's faces, guessing the truth by their lack of response. "Nothing?" She gasped. "There's nothing we can do? But he'll die!"  

"I rather die than be with someone else," Vin whispered. He turned around and faced her, his blue eyes meetings hers. "If I can have you, I don't anyone else. If I have to die, then that's how it will be." 

No one knew how to answer, least of all Alex because they knew he meant it.

Part Eight

There were not many occasions that Alexandra Styles looked to with as much loathing as this one. She knew she was exaggerating when she equalled it to her stay in a Cardassian prison. However, could not help but feel the situation she was walking towards was similar. In truth, the emotional turmoil that was raging inside of her at the moment was almost as fierce as the physical abuse she had received at the hands of her jailors. At least there she had been the victim, the helpless prisoner with no choice but to suffer the indignities put upon her. In this instance, she could not claim anything of the sort. For three years after that nightmarish experience, Alex had fled from this day, unable to face what she had turned her back upon in the wake of her terrible suffering. There were a number of things in her life that could be called unfinished and this was probably the most undone. 

Of course it did not help matters much that her thoughts were divided as she and Buck Wilmington made their way to the Transporter Room to receive the newest passenger to the Maverick. As much as she was reluctant to face what awaited her there, she was even more worried about Vin Tanner. At the moment, the helmsman had confined himself to his quarters, undergoing every possible treatment that a Vulcan could receive to suppress the dreaded Pon Farr that was raging through his veins. In the last day or so, the condition had worsened and the random bursts of rage had become a continuous flow of seething anger, demanding expression. Nathan had done what he could with drugs and continued to do so, clinging to the belief that he would find away for a more permanent cure. Although Alex had a great deal of confidence in Nathan’s abilities, she did not think that there was any chemical way to solve Vin’s problem. 

She wanted desperately to see him but unfortunately, Nathan had advised against it. At first she had balked at the idea but then she realised that she was the source of his torment and stayed away willingly. Vin wanted to mate with her and only with her. Rumour had reached her about Vin and Charlotte and while Alex had been initially angry, she also understood that he could not help it. Mary had explained to her how powerful the Pon Farr was and how helpless Vin would have been to his urges that any woman would do at the time, not just her. However, it appeared that for Vin anyway, Charlotte was not good enough. It had to be her and if it was a simple matter of the sex, she would have already solved the problem but Vin could hurt her in the state he was in, without any of the disciplines that Vulcans taught themselves to prepare for this time. Nathan had been explicit in his detail, not only might he hurt her, he could possibly kill her.  

However, Alex would have been willing to risk her life on the gamble if it were not for one thing; if she mated with Vin, as far as Vulcan was considered, they would be married. It would be legally binding according to Federation and Vulcan law and that step was one Alex was simply not prepared for. She could was not even sure she loved him! She cared a great deal about him and when he had tried to make love to her, his kisses has nearly robbed her of all sense but that could just be simple biology, not a deep down feeling that was fundamental to a step as permanent as marriage.  

"You okay?" Buck asked concerned as they rounded the corner of their final stretch towards Transporter Room 2. 

"Yeah," she nodded, grateful for his presence. Since they had unwittingly become the pawns of an alien race and engaged in a heated romantic tryst, Buck Wilmington and Alexandra Styles had become confidantes of a sort. Although she still thought he was a womanising prig, she also considered him one of her best friends because he seemed to be a paradox. "I guess I’m not looking forward to this." 

"I don’t blame you." Buck remarked sympathising. "Can’t be easy to face him after all this time." 

"Its not just that," Alex shrugged. "I behaved very badly after what happened with the Cardassians." She confessed. 

Buck gave her a look. "You can’t seriously expect to behave anything else after what those bastards did to you."  

Even as he said it, Alex could see the disgust burning in his eyes. Buck loved women and to know that one had been treated the way she had, offended him on a very personal level. "Thanks but I can’t keep using that as an excuse. I broke off our engagement without even seeing him, Buck. That’s not right no matter how I look at it." 

"No it isn’t," he agreed. "But cut yourself some slack, you had good reasons." 

"How can you be such a sensitive soul and bed hopping twit at the same time?" She joked and Buck laughed softly. 

"It’s a talent darling." He grinned. 

"I’ll say." Alex grinned as they entered the Transporter Room where Lieutenant Rain was presently manning the controls. 

"Deep Space Four has just signalled that Lieutenant Commander Pierce is ready to transport." Rain informed them dutifully. 

"You ready for this?" Buck glanced at Alex. 

"No but lets get it over and done with anyway." She retorted because it was the truth. No matter how much she tried to prepare for this day, it would still not be enough. She supposed the timing of it was somewhat serendipitous. Here she was, possibly about to make the most momentous decision in her life and the last person to whom she had made a similar decision about and then broken, was preparing to enter her life again. Sometimes Alex wondered if her life was Fate’s checkerboard. 

"Alright," Buck let out a deep breath and looked at Rain. "Engage." 

The transporter pad began to whine a second after Rain’s fingers flew across the console before her. It preceded the shimmering glitter of energy that appeared before them as the outline of Lieutenant Commander Dylan Pierce began to form. Alex swallowed, feeling her pulse suddenly race and her heart pounding inside her chest. She tried not to think about how she had wronged him, how she had dissolved their two year engagement with nothing more than a short note from the Klingon home world where she had taken refuge, telling him that marriage was not something she could cope with at the moment. How was she to face it now when she was contemplating it with a Vulcan? 

Dylan Pierce appeared an instant later, driving away from her thoughts the past as she was thrust head first into the present they were now occupying in the same space. He had not changed much, still ruggedly handsome, with emerald eyes, dark hair and the look of a man who let very little bother him. His gaze moved across the transporter pad and met hers almost a second later and even though he showed nothing in his manner, she saw that the hurt was very much alive in his eyes. Seeing it so clearly made Alex swallow hard, trying to push away the lump in her throat.  

"Commander Pierce," Buck stepped forward taking the initiative, trying to give Alex a moment to recoup, aware of what an emotional situation this was for her. "I’m First Officer Commander Buck Wilmington, welcome on board." 

"Thank you," Dylan answered although his attention was firmly fixed on Alex.  

"And you’ve met Commander Styles." Buck added, even though it was more or less a redundant gesture.  

"Yes," Dylan nodded. "We have." 

"Hello Dylan." Alex stepped forward. 

"You look good." He said quietly.  

"You too." She tried to smile, to show her that his presence was not anything but tumultuous but somehow could not manage it. 

"Commander," Buck broke in because someone had to. "Captain Larabee is waiting for you in the Conference Room, shall we?" 

"Of course." Pierce tore his gaze away from Alex back to him. "Lead the way." 

***********

 As Buck walked ahead, Alex found herself walking in stride with Dylan. For a few seconds, there was a length of awkwardness between them as each struggled with thoughts of how to approach the unresolved issues between them. Alex knew she had to get it out in the open soon because it would not take long for the gossip regarding her and Vin to reach his ears and then explanations would be doubly hard. There was a time when she cared for him greatly and was more than prepared to spend the rest of her life with him. However, that person had died in a Cardassian prison and the one who returned from that hell had little interest in being married and now felt nothing more than deep fondness for what they had once shared. She knew where her heart lay even though admitting at present was harder than she had imagined.  

"Why didn’t you answer any of my letters?" Dylan asked once Buck was far enough ahead for them to talk quietly.  

"I wasn’t ready to." She responded without hesitation. He deserved the truth and she had put off telling it to him long enough. "I can’t explain to you what it was like when I got out but I couldn’t face anybody." 

"I know." Dylan retorted. "I remember the doctors telling me it was best that I stayed away. If I had known you were going to go to ground on me, I would never have left for the Archimedes." 

"Dylan," Alex struggled to explain. "I behaved badly, I shouldn’t have shut you out. I know that’s not a lot I can say to justify what I did but I couldn’t stand seeing you after what happened." 

"I’m not stupid Alex," he said abruptly. "Didn’t you think I understood that? You think I stayed away because I cared less? There were so many times after I found out what happened that I was almost ready to fly into Cardassian space and kill as many of them as I could. It was even worse because I couldn’t even get you to answer any of my com transmissions to tell you that or to even see how you were." 

Alex sucked in her breath, feeling the guilt eat away at her. "I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I didn’t mean to shut you out, I just couldn’t look you in the eye. I haven’t even been able to see my father since it happened." 

"I know," Dylan said shortly. "He calls me sometimes and we wonder at what point we lost you, before you went to the Cardassians or after you came back?" 

"Things are different now." Alex started to say. "I’m better. Since being on this ship, I’ve manage to put some those ghosts aside." 

"I still love you."  

Alex met his eyes with shock. "No Dylan, you don’t. You’re in love with what we were. The person you fell in love with is gone. She’s died in a Cardassian prison. There’s only me left." 

"I could get to know you all over again." He countered, a hint of desperation in his voice. "If this is behind you, maybe we can try again." 

"No," Alex retorted just abruptly. "I’m afraid we can’t." 

Dylan’s eyes narrowed and suddenly, it looked as if he had stumbled upon some kind of revelation. "Is there someone else?" He asked, his voice hard. 

"No." She replied and they both knew she was lying. 

"Who is he?" Dylan demanded. His voice was still soft but the insistence was clear. 

"There is no one." Alex repeated herself. "Dylan, I wanted to get a few things cleared up between us, considering I am going on the mission to Riga 3 with you." 

"You’re going….?" His eyes widened. "No." 

"It’s not up to you." Alex said shortly, bristling at his blunt refusal. "You need a tactical officer who can be spared off ship. That’s me." 

"What about the Vulcan?" He asked, his brows wrinkling in confusion. 

"You were supposed to have been told before you arrived on board," Alex stuttered, realising he did not know that Vin was no longer available to be on the Away Team.  

"I’ve been in transit for the last two days. What about the Vulcan?" Dylan asked again, this time with enough demand to warrant Buck glancing at them over his shoulder. 

"Vin’s not well." Alex answered. "He’s in no condition to go on an Away mission." 

"Vin?" Dylan looked at her suspiciously. "Is that who you’re involved with?" 

Alex stiffened, starting to get angry. He was here for less than twenty minutes and he was already prying into her private life. Alex wondered if he had been this stubborn when she had been engaged to the man. 

"That is none of your business." Alex hissed back. 

"Obviously not." Dylan replied with just as much vitriol. 

"Commanders," Buck Wilmington’s voice interrupted them from continuing any further. "I think this conversation can wait until after the briefing with the Captain." 

"Yes Sir." Alex replied somewhat grateful for Buck’s intrusion, having enough of this conversation even though she knew it was nowhere the last one they would have on this subject.

**************

 Nathan had advised Mary against visiting Vin but she knew she could not stay away. 

The Vulcan had locked himself in his quarters, granted extended Sick Leave until a way could be found to cure his condition. Both Mary and Nathan knew that it was not that simple. The Pon Farr could not be denied, simply survived and sometimes even that was not possible. Nathan had refused to let her go alone because despite the drugs, Vin was barely managing to maintain control of his rampaging desires. There would come a point when the drugs would not be enough to contain him and God only knew what they would do then. Mary had seen a young male in the full throes of Pon Farr and knew that however bad Nathan thought it was going to be, it was actually going to be a lot worse. 

For the moment anyway, Vin still had some control of himself and Mary hoped that if she were to able to offer him some limited mental reinforcement combined with Nathan’s drugs, perhaps he might be able to fight what was going to happen to him. 

"If he does anything, you get out of there." Nathan instructed as he escorted her to Vin’s door. The healer knew Mary wanted a private audience with Vin but Chris would have his hide if he did not at least try to offer her some measure of protection if he could not talk her out of it.  

"I’ll be careful Nathan," Mary reassured him as he stepped aside while she activated the chime on Vin’s door. 

There was a momentary pause before a strained voice answered. "Go away." 

"I told you." Nathan replied. "He has not wanted to see anyone for the last day." 

Mary refused to accept that. "Vin," Mary spoke up loud enough for him to hear. "Its Mary. Vin, please let me in." 

"Mary, I don't want to see anyone!" Vin barked. 

"I’m not going away Vin." She said defiantly and crossed her arms. Nathan had seen that stance before and knew when the slender blond got this way, it was best to just to concede defeat. Even Chris knew better than to cross swords with Mary when she was so determined.  

"Alright!" He said meekly and Mary exchanged a brief glance with Nathan, informing him that she was aware of the dangers and was going nonetheless. 

Mary stepped into the room and tried not to show that what she saw that shocked her. The room was in disarray, bedding was matted in heaps on the floor. What meagre ornaments he embellished his room with was strewn across the carpet, table and chairs had been knocked over and the ceramic of crockery had been shattered into tiny fragments. Vin was pressed up against the glass of his window, his body balled into foetal position as he took up residence on the windowsill. His long hair was matted and there were scratches on his skin. In the dim light, she could see his skin glistening with sweat and he was shaking even as he gazed at her from across the room. 

And this was not even the worst of it. 

"Vin." Mary swallowed, pushing away her fear. "Vin, are you alright?" 

"Do I look alright!" He snapped harshly. 

"No of course not," she rebuked herself for such a foolish question. She made her way gingerly across the disarrayed room towards him, unwilling to let her fear get the better of her. "How are you feeling?" 

"Like I’m ready to jump out of my skin!" He hissed. "I want her so badly I can’t stand it!" 

"I know," Mary said with understanding and sympathy.  

"No you don’t know!" Vin shouted. "You don’t. I’m sitting here and all I can think of is how she smells, how she moves. God, I can’t sleep without seeing her and I can’t stay awake without wanting to bust out of here to be with her!" 

This confused Mary somewhat because as far as she knew, Vin had not bonded with Alex. In fact, she was the only woman who had touched his mind as deeply. "Vin, have you melded with Alex before?" 

Vin looked up, as if the question was giving him focus. He tried to think back and remembered those early months on the Maverick when he had felt minds pressing in on him because his ability to erect shields around his thoughts were non-existent. Mary had been attempting to teach him this important aspect of Vulcan telepathy when in a fit of anger, he had stormed out of the lesson. The first person he had come across had been Alex. In anger, he had forced a meld upon her and it was the only time other than that humiliating incident in the turbo lift, she had ever been so angry with him. 

"Yes." He nodded mutely. "Once."

 Mary knew how to keep Vin from gaining an emotional attachment to her when they were engaged in their sessions together but Alex would have no such protection. It was no wonder he was half insane with need for her. Unfortunately, the bond now established, especially when reinforced with such emotional attachment, was not easy to break. If he was not allowed to consummate his need with Alex, he would die.

"Vin, you’ve bonded with her." Mary said firmly. "Do you know what that means?" 

"No," he shook his head.  

"It means that you’re selected her for your mate. The desire you’re feeling is the Pon Farr demanding you consummate your bonding with her." 

"NO!" He roared and made her jump. "I’d rather die!" He hissed. "I’m not going to force her into having sex with me out of pity!" 

"Vin you know better than that," Mary sighed trying to explain. "It’s not pity. She cares about you. Its because she’s human."  

"I know that!" He said anguished, burying his face in his knees. "Is Pierce here yet?" 

"Who?" Mary did not quite hear him. 

"Pierce!" Vin snapped. "Her fiancée."  

"Yes," Mary nodded mutely. "He arrived about an hour ago." 

Vin’s fists clenched as he hugged his knees tighter, knuckles turning white with rage at the thought that there might be another in competition for his desire for Alex. Mary could feel the fury emanating from him and immediately closed the distance between them both. She reached for his face, catching his head in her hands.  

"Calm yourself." She instructed and closed her eyes as she concentrated. 

"What…." 

"Calm yourself." She ordered again, more strongly this time and Vin fell into silence as he heard her chanting soft words. "My mine to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts….." 

For a minute, Mary thought she had fallen into the centre of a storm. Powerful winds rushed past her, frantic thoughts, coupled with equally furious emotions, bombarded her from all sides. She could feel the inner turmoil inside of him. It bubbled and frothed. Mary felt as if she were riding a banshee through the maelstrom of hell. 

Focus! Focus!

She grit her teeth and held first, trying to project her meagre abilities into some kind of cohesive force to help him quell the rage inside of him. The drugs were there too, a dark cloud of grey, dousing the tempestuous storm moving like a juggernaut through his mind, they halted the destructive pace some but not enough. The unbridled force of his rampaging thoughts was beyond comprehension and she shuddered at the realisation that it was not even at its climax yet. He was still coherent but the time was fast approaching when he would not be, when everyone he loved and cared about would become faceless entities in the quest he had to fulfil at all costs.  

Mary projected calm into this hurricane of emotion. She sent as much of her strength into him as she could muster, reinforcing walls that were crumbling prior to her arrival. In her mind’s eye, she picture the bricks restructuring, slipping back into their place in the mortared tapestry. The force they had to withstand still battered them relentlessly though and even with its erection, Mary could tell that eventually they would be overcome. However, her attempt to help him had worked for now. 

Mary withdrew and saw Vin staring at her with an expression of profound gratitude. The pain, the driving need had dissipated inside of him at least for the time being. He would last a little longer with the aid of the drugs. 

"Thank you." He said softly, tears glistening in his eyes. 

"I did what I could." She replied, touching his cheek. 

"Its not enough is it?" He asked, understanding that much. 

Mary shook her head, not about to lie to him. "No," she answered sadly. "Not enough to stop the Blood Fever." 

"Then I'll die." He said simply. 

Mary could only nod as tears filled her eyes. "You will die."

Part Nine

After introductions were made across the table, the meeting consisting of Chris, Ezra, Buck, Alex and Dylan Pierce got underway. The tension levels in the room were already high owing to atmosphere of awkwardness between Alex and Dylan. The man’s presence felt like an affront to everyone at the table because it coincided with the Pon Farr that Vin as presently suffering. Although it made no sense to those who felt it, none of them could help feeling as if Dylan was attempting to usurp what was Vin’s by his very presence on board the Maverick. Still as Chris looked across the table at the special envoy sent to him from Starfleet Headquarters, he reminded himself to maintain a professional mindset, no matter what.

"So what’s the problem with your Vulcan?" Dylan asked as soon as the subject at hand was on the table.

The entire room seemed to bristle at the same time at the reference and Chris turned a steely eye at the man who immediately realized that he had said something out of turn. "Lieutenant Tanner is unable to take part in the mission because of a life threatening illness."

"Came up rather suddenly." Dylan remarked with a hint of sarcasm that was blatant for everyone to notice.

Alex who sat next to Buck glared at Dylan with dislike, unable to believe that he could be so cold when she thought of what agonies Vin was suffering within his quarters, trapped there by his own wishes. She could see the anger in Chris’ eyes, cold and white hot in its fury, while the rest of him remained the epitome of control. Buck however, was fighting to keep silent and Ezra as always was unreadable. She knew Dylan well enough to know that he usually baited people like this when he suspected more was going on than they were letting on. However, this time he had picked the wrong person to push. Chris Larabee would not stand for it.

"Yes it did." Chris said smoothly, showing nothing of his true feelings. "In any case, its not a subject for discussion."

"I beg to differ." Dylan pointed. "We needed him specifically. He has the expertise and the appearance to infiltrate the research facility on Riga 3. We would not have requested him otherwise."

"Why not use a Vulcan operative?" Ezra inquired instead.

"The terrain." Dylan said automatically. "Riga 3 is uninhabited except for the research station. The planet is surrounded in thick vegetation not unlike that on the world Tanner was known to have survived when he was marooned. The Romulans have given us 24 hours to enter their space and get the information. After that, High Command cannot guarantee that Romulan vessels unaware of the mission will not accost us. If we’re still there when our time is up, they’ll disavow any knowledge of us and claim that we have violated the Neutral Zone."

"Wonderful," Buck grumbled. "I feel so much better that we’re risking our hides to help them."

"Romulans are a proud race, Commander," Dylan explained. "The High Command does not want to appear weak by asking for our help, nor do they want to admit that illegal research like this could be taking place under their noses."

"It appears that we are taking a great deal of risk to help them maintain their dignity." Ezra pointed out.

"We are," Dylan agreed to that much. "However, we are also strengthening our diplomatic relations. After the Dominion War, we are not in a position to make enemies of the Romulans at least until the Federation strengthens Starfleet with more ships."

"I appreciate the situation," Chris said in a measured voice, still stinging from Dylan’s reference to Vin as ‘their Vulcan’ as if Vin was a pet, not a Starfleet officer. The resentment in Dylan’s voice towards the helmsman was obvious and Chris guessed that somehow, Dylan had learnt about Alex’s attachment to Vin. "Unfortunately, you were not advised by Starfleet prior to our rendezvous at Deep Space Four about Vin’s condition. It is delicate and sudden. He would not be any good to you during this mission, if anything he would be a liability."

Chris had no idea how hard it was to say such things about his friend until the words had left him. However, he had to make Dylan understand because Chris did not like anyone thinking Vin had shirked from his duty.

"What’s wrong with him?" Dylan asked, still certain there was more to this than being divulged.

"That’s none of your business." Chris said coldly. "That he is unavailable, is. Now, I’ve assigned Lieutenant Commander Styles and Standish to your Away team. My CMO tells us that he will be able to perform cosmetic surgery and on you to make you look like Romulans. Unfortunately, that’s the best we can do under such short notice."

"Our bio readings can’t be faked." Dylan retorted. "That’s why we needed Tanner. He can walk through their scanners and pass for Romulan. Don’t you think a facility as guarded as this one on Riga 3 would have genetic imprints of their personnel?"

"We have a way around that." Alex spoke up. "Our chief engineer and CMO have built a small device that will fit in our clothes and generate a small energy field which will give out readings consistent to that of Romulan biology."

"Its still risky." Dylan pointed out. "And I don’t see why we need a tactical officer when your chief of security will do quite adequately. This ought to be a minimal complement Away Team captain."

Alex glared at him, aware of what his motivations were with this line of conversation. However before she could speak, Chris responded to Dylan’s request.

"Commander, you are entering a hazardous environment with a very good chance that if you don’t get yourselves killed while attempting to infiltrate the facility, you probably will when you try to leave it. Commander Styles and Standish have the ineffable quality of keeping that from happening, trust me I know."

Dylan frowned, not at all liking the idea that Alex would be going with him on the mission but Chris did not care. Chris’ worries were about Vin at the moment, not a special envoy that had gone out of his way to be rude about matters he knew nothing about and had no right to question. When he did not receive any further comment from Dylan, Chris continued with the rest of the briefing.

"Now we depart Deep Space Four within the hour and will head directly for the Neutral Zone. According to the Romulan High Command, we are permitted to use our cloaking device when we penetrate into Romulan space so that will keep any patrols along the Neutral Zone from sighting us."

"What’s our ETA at Riga 3?" Dylan inquired.

"16 hours." Buck answered. "We will be crossing the Neutral Zone in 4 hours."

"Well if you don’t mind," Dylan turned to Chris. "I’ve been jumping off and on ships for the last two days. Is there a place where I could bunk down?"

"Commander Standish will show you." Chris said tautly.

"Thank you Captain." Dylan said graciously.

"If there’s nothing more, we’ll end here." The Captain rose to his feet first, protocol indicating that the others would soon follow. It was just as well, he decided. He had taken just about as much as he could in the company of Lieutenant Commander Pierce for the time being.

***********

When he arrived at Vin’s quarters, Chris flinched at the sight of the two security men posted at the door, mostly because he had requested it. Vin’s condition had made him dangerous to himself and everyone around him. As much as Chris had loathed taking the action, he had to protect his best friend from himself. Nathan had advised that when the urges became too much to suppress Vin would become excessively violent. As it was, Vin was easily the strongest male on board the Maverick. While he was not the only Vulcan on board, he was the only one who did not feel the need to suppress baser urges under the tight rein of logic. When he exerted his strength, he did it well and with perfect control. Vin was four times stronger than any human was but in the grips of the Pon Farr, he exceeded even that and could very well harm someone without actually realizing what he was doing.

The two security officers, one of which was Lieutenant Katovit, was not eager to see him enter the room but were aware of his relationship with Vin and thus made no comment. Chris pressed the chime, waiting for an answer.

"Who is it?" He heard Vin’s voice asked tautly.

"Its Chris." He answered back. "Can I come in?"

Chris knew there was hesitation in the pause that followed before he heard a response. "Yeah."

Chris entered the room and was immediately confronted with the same destruction that Mary had been. He found Vin in more or less the same position, as if the sight of all those stars beyond his window could quell the raging fire inside of him. Chris made no comment as he crossed the floor and saw down on the sofa which had been apparently too large for Vin to flip for the time being.

"How you doing pard?" Chris asked quietly.

Vin did not seem to pay much attention to him, choosing to keep his cobalt colored eyes fixed on glass as he basked in his view of space. However, he did answer when Chris spoke. "People keep asking me that," he said quietly, his voice was shaky but the rages and harshness had subsided for the moment. "And I keep giving them the same answer."

"I know," Chris sighed. "We’re just worried about you Vin."

His hard expression softened as he turned his eyes to Chris. "I can feel it creeping up on me. I’m trying hard not to let it take control but you don’t know what this is like. I feel like I’m going crazy cooped up in this room but if I go outside, if I step out of here, I don’t know if I can keep myself from finding her. I got these awful images in my head Chris. Kind of things no man ought to be thinking about women. I keep wondering what it must have been like for those Cardassians to be able to have her when they want her, to be able to make her do for them, what I want her to do for me."

Chris stomach hollowed a little and knew that every man had thoughts like that, deep in the secret places that kept the dark side of one’s personality hidden from most. How many times had he wondered what it would be like to have a woman in complete power, to enjoy her, to make her enjoy him? However, those images were tempered with the notion that she would be pleasured too, not brutalized. He supposed in Vin’s present state of mind, where so much was impulse and naked hunger, it was easy for the lines to get blurred. "Its not you Vin," Chris assured him with absolute confidence in this fact. "It’s the Pon Farr."

"Chris," Vin’s voice changed until it was almost as hard as flint. "If it gets really bad." He paused as he searched the words to tell his friend. "If it gets so that I lose my head, I want you to do what you go to keep me from hurting anyone."

"Vin it won’t come to that." Chris stated firmly.

"You don’t know how hard I’m fighting it." Vin returned, sucking his breath. "I need her so much. I feel her out there, needing me too. I keep seeing her in my head. I keep smelling her. Everything I am is dying to be with her but I know I’ll hurt her the way I am right now, the way they hurt her. So please, I’m asking you to stop me if it becomes necessary. Kill me if you have to."

"I can’t." Chris almost gasped out the word, unable to believe that Vin was asking this of him before he realized that who else would he ask? Chris was his best friend and the one person Vin could be assured of who would not let him down, no matter how imaginable what it was he was asking.

"You have to!" Vin hissed almost pleading. "I rather die than hurt her."

"I won’t let you hurt get that far, Vin." Chris swallowed, every fibre of his being determined not to fail his friend in that statement. "I won’t let you harm anyone and I won’t give up on. We’ll find a way to beat this thing somehow."

"If it was anyone else saying it, I wouldn’t believe you know." Vin managed a smile as calmed down a little, confident that when the time came Chris would do what he asked. "How is she doing?"

"In two minds." Chris answered honestly.

"Probably ain’t too happy to see Pierce." Vin remarked. In the periods of calm, Vin was able to look at things objectively and knew that he was right about that. Alex would not be happy to see Dylan if she was the one who had discontinued their engagement. Alex tended to keep her personal life separate and private from her friends. There were some thing she did not mind confiding to others but issues close to the heart did not fall into that category, as did anything to do with her stay in that Cardassian prison.

"It doesn’t look it." Chris confirmed, hoping that would make Vin feel a little better. He sensed that Vin was a little jealous as well as intimidated by the presence of Alex’s old love at this time. Chris could hardly blame him. If it were Mary’s ex-fiancée, he would feel as equally uncomfortable as Vin did now. He guessed it had to be worse for Vin because, Pierce was able to give Alex what he could not; intimacy without harm.

"Does she want to see me?" He asked almost hesitantly, reluctant to show the captain just how much he missed her and appearing any weaker than he already did.

"I think so but Nathan doesn’t think that’s a good idea."

A burst of fury swelled up inside of Vin at the healer for keeping her away from him but Vin forced it away, knowing it was the Pon Farr that took such exception to that. The saner part of him knew it was a good idea and remembered that he had more or less suggested it to Nathan himself when he had been calmer. He had no idea what Alex’s presence would do to him and a part of Vin was terrified to find out even though his gut ached for not being near her. There was this bubble inside of him, inflating, crushing his inside with this gut wrenching need for her. His mind could think of nothing else and would cajole and whisper in his ear even when he slept to go find her. The overload of stimulus that would arise from finally having her within reach was not something Vin wanted to endure.

"He’s right." Vin confessed after a moment, the anger inside of him subsiding for now. "Who’s going on the Away mission in my place?" He asked, hating to think that Alex would be on Riga 3 alone with her former lover.

"Ezra." Chris answered automatically, glad they had moved off the subject.

"Don’t we need him on the ship?" Vin questioned.

"Yes," Chris admitted. "But he reckons Lieutenant Katovit can fill in for him and I’ve taken some added insurance in case we get into trouble?"

"Another Larabee hat trick?" The younger man asked, cracking his first real smile since Chris had entered the room. The Larabee hat trick was what the senior staff referred to Chris’ ability to pull a victory when the odds seemed insurmountable.

"Something like that." Chris chuckled.

"I wish I could be there to help you pard." Vin said regretfully. "If I ain’t on the mission, I at least ought to be on the bridge."

"I know," the captain agreed. "No one handles this bird the way you do."

"I’m sure someone will." He said sadly, turning to the stars again. The journey through warp was one of the most beautiful things in the universe, Vin thought to himself. The star whizzing past like comets against the dark satin of space made one feel infinitesimal in the cosmic design and tended to put problems into perspective.

If only it could this time.

***********

The Maverick would be at Riga 3 in less than an hour and despite all the warnings she had received not only from Nathan but Ezra as well, Alex found herself making her way to Vin’s quarters. She should have been in her quarters, readying herself for the mission ahead but Alex found she could not disembark the Maverick without at least making some attempt to see Vin. Dylan had caused such a furore about her being on the Away Team mission that Chris had finally conceded to keeping her involvement in the infiltration of the facility to a minimal. Thus only Dylan and Ezra would be entering the research facility itself, while she remained in the jungle out of harms way. Alex had not been happy at being shut out and suspected that Chris had ulterior motives for planning things this way. Unfortunately, the captain was not required to account for himself to junior officers so Alex had no alternative but to accept it.

Alex knew she should not be anywhere near Vin at this time but she could not leave the ship without seeing him. If anything were to happen to him during the mission, she would die never forgiving herself for not saying goodbye. Still, the idea of Vin not being here when she returned left Alex cold with fear. If she had her way, she would not even be going but the truth was, she owed Dylan too much to abandon him when he needed her. Even though things could never be as they once were, Alex still felt something for him that was more than guilt at breaking their engagement in years past.

When she arrived at the door, the two security officers immediately bombarded her with reasons why she could not enter. Alex hardly heard them and let herself in, not awaiting permission because she had a feeling Vin would deny it if she announced her presence. She stepped into the dark confines of the room and was revisited with her own tirade some months ago when Gul Lemar had arrived on the Maverick. Only this time the roles were reversed. It was he who was suffering uncontrollable fits of rage. She saw him in the corner of the room, hiding in the shadows almost as if he knew it was her and was afraid to let her see him. Suddenly, Alex wished she had not come here.

"You shouldn't be here." He said looking up a her. She could only see the blue of his eyes in the shadows, the rest of him was dark.

"I had to see if you were okay," she returned softly, pausing a few feet away from the wall he was pressed up against in a crouch.

"I'm not." He responded, his voice hoarse, strained, tortured.

"Vin, how can I help you?" She begged, wishing there was an answer. "I can't stand to see you like this. I...." the words would not come. She wanted to say them, felt them more for him than any other person in her life but still she could not say it out loud. To say it out loud would be to change everything.

"You can't help me," he had noted the words she could not say and decided to spare her the embarrassment of lying to him about what she had meant really.

"Make love to me." She said suddenly.

Vin's eyes flashed in its bluest depth. "I'll hurt you."

"I don't care." Alex declared closing the space between them. She knelt before him and took his face in her hands. Without giving him a chance to protest, Alex lowered her lips to his in a soft lingering kiss.

"Alex," he muttered through the heavenly touch of her lips against his. "This is wrong, I can't control myself."

"Don't," she continued kissing him, ignoring his concerns her passion grew. "I don't want you to die."

Vin tried hard to resist but his body was twisting inside from this intense craving for her and now that she was here, wanting him, touching him the way he had dreamed off, his restraints snapped and he reacted fiercely. Grabbing her hands, he began returning her kisses passionately, all the while forcing her down. Lowering her to the carpet, Vin moved on top of her, his body taut with intense need.

Vin crushed her with his weight; his body pressing against hers as his mouth covered her lips again. Alex could not breathe, once again revisited by those incredible sensations he had engendered in her during those brief minutes in her quarters. He groaned into her mouth as his tongue meat hers, aroused by the fact that she was no longer resisting him. Vin's entire body moulded perfectly against her own, until Alex could feel every taut muscle against her flesh and the hardness of him that made her entire body tingle. She started not to care whether or not this was wrong. How he felt against her could not possibly make any of this wrong.

God, she felt so good!

His desire for her was fevered and he continued to plant kisses on her swollen lips. She was receiving him with as much hungry need as his own and his erection throbbed at the feel of soft breasts pressing up against his chest. He could feel the tightening points of her nipples and the sensation almost drove him wild beyond reason. His mouth slid down her neck, nibbling, biting, teasing while her fingers were moving through his hair, guiding him downwards. He pulled the fastenings of her blazer open, exposing the grey singlet beneath. Without giving much thought, he yanked the material away and exposed one plump breast. Alex was breathing hard, he could hear her anticipation. He could smell her need as she guided him toward that erect rosebud waiting for his touch.

He slipped it past his teeth and felt the tingle it produced on the tip of his tongue move swiftly through his body like electricity before filling his cock with unbelievable need. She moaned softly as his tongue started caressing that tiny nubbin of flesh, swirling and sucking around the erect tip. Her hands were running through his hair and he glanced up long enough to see her flushed with desire, the sweet delight she was experiencing contorting her face in an expression of pure pleasure. While he nursed hungrily on the one nipple, his hand kneaded her other breast hard until all he could hear was the sound of her voice moaning his name in heavenly sighs.

"Oh God Vin." She whispered breathlessly, beyond reason and beyond hope. "Don't stop."

He was going to take her, he told himself as his hand left her breast, forcing a sob of disappointment to escape her when his fist captured her hands. Vin slammed her wrists against the floor above her head, pinning her there as he suckled harder, feeling himself tip further over the edge as her body arched languidly towards him, pushing more of her into his mouth. He was going to do everything he wanted to do to her. Make love to her hard and fast, over and over again, until she screamed for him to stop, until she begged him to. He wanted to hear her beg, wanted to hear her moan as he rammed into her, wanted to do all those things he knew she wanted, even though she was telling him to stop........

Like a splash of cold water he realised what he was thinking and he shrank back from her.

God! What had he almost done?

"Vin?" Alex looked at him flustered and confused, somewhat dazed from the sudden cessation of that pleasant interlude. "What is it?" She came towards him and started kissing him again, taking his face in her hands as her lips met his.

"No!" Vin shrank back agonized. "Leave me!"

"I don't understand." She stammered, confused. "I thought....."

"JUST LEAVE!" He shouted. "GET OUT!"

The sound of his voice was like a slap in the face and she swallowed, trying to blink away the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes at any second. Distraught, she quickly fastened her blazer again as he turned away from her, feeling this terrible loathing churning his gut with such despair he was almost ready to kill her for causing him such pain.

"Vin, please..." she tried again. This time the tears did come and Alex hardly knew that she had lost her battle with them.

"I SAID GET OUT AND LEAVE ME ALONE!" He roared.

Turning on her heels, Alex fled out of the room, blinded by tears.

Part Ten

Alex was quiet when the Away Team prepared for departure in Transporter Room 2. Those who knew her noted the silence and sadness in her eyes and guessed that it was probably Vin who was the cause. However, neither Chris nor Ezra wanted to make mention of it. While she sometimes took people into her confidence, it was more often out of need rather than desire. She was a fiercely private person and Chris supposed that after what she had been through with the Cardassians, it was difficult for her to talk about anything personal without her believing it to be some violation of her privacy.

Still he found that he could not help but try, particularly when she was about to embark upon a dangerous mission that had the potential to end her life if anything were to go wrong. Ezra glanced at him, appearing as if he knew what Chris was going to do and seemed to approve. Ironically, Dylan Pierce noticed nothing. Chris had to blink twice when he saw the security chief, now dressed in the uniform of a Romulan centurion. Ezra's dark gold hair was now black and he had decidedly pointed ears. Dylan was dressed in more or less the same way but Ezra who was a consummate actor, seemed perfectly at ease in his disguise, even more so than Dylan who was a trained undercover operative.

"Alex can I talk you?" Chris said to her.

Alex who was in the process of packing her survival kit, left her gear on the floor and followed the captain who stepped to the corner of the room, no doubt indicating that he wanted a private audience. She guessed it had something to do with Vin although Alex hoped that he knew nothing of their encounter hours ago. The humiliation of that was too much for her.

"Alex are you sure you're up to this?" Chris asked the moment they were alone.

"I'm fine." She said shortly, a brief shimmer in her eyes indicating she was anything but that.

"You seem bothered." He remarked. "Vin?" He ventured a guess, unable to imagine it could be anything else.

Alex dropped her gaze, unable to meet his eyes because there would be too much revelation there regarding how she felt. "There's nothing I can do for him here." She replied. "I don't know how."

Chris understood her feelings of helplessness because he himself was gripped with the same emotions. Pon Farr was something neither of them could understand and all they seemed to know for certain was that it was very likely going to cost Vin his life because there was no simple cure to remedy the situation. Vin's salvation lay steeped in ages old traditions that were incompatible with the person he was. For all Chris knew, Vin might have a mate somewhere who was waiting for him but had no idea that he was even alive. After all, the Vin Tanner who returned from the Rim almost ten years after the crash that killed his family bore little resemblance to the Vulcan child he had been. His name had changed because Chris doubted he even remembered what his Vulcan name had been.

"Alex, its not your fault." Chris responded after a moment. "I don't know how to help him either but we’re going to do everything we can for him." Chris let out a breath and discarded the persona of captain for a brief instance. "He's my best friend Alex," he admitted uncharacteristically. "I don't want anything to happen either. I'm not giving up hope and neither should you. I promise you, while you're gone, I'll do everything to make sure he's here when you come back."

Alex blinked, trying not to show how Chris effort had touched her. Though he offered no miracle answer, that he was determined not to give up on Vin made her feel tremendously better. "Thank you Chris."

It was not often she used his first name but the moment seemed to fit. The captain placed a hand on her cheek and responded. "You be careful alright." He ordered. "I don't want to tell Vin that you’ve been hurt when he finally pulls through."

Alex felt comforted that Chris had said ‘when he pulled through’ and not ‘if’. The captain’s confidence reinforced Alex’s own wavering hopes regarding Vin’s condition and she tried not to think of what had happened between them as something humiliating but his genuine need to stop himself before he harmed her in any way. Immediately following the encounter, Alex had felt mortified by how she had conducted herself. Vin had been powerless in the face of the temptation she provided and Alex felt as if she had failed him by not pulling back before things had escalated as out of control as they had.

"I’ll be careful." She said firmly, with every intention of coming out of this mission with her skin intact. "Captain," Alex added before she lost the chance entirely. "I know this is going to be a difficult mission and that we have to maintain a silent running between the Away team and the ship, but if anything were to happen to him, please I want to know. I want to be there."
Chris held her gaze for a second, understanding what she was asking of him even though he prayed it would not come to that. Unfortunately, the situation as it stood made that outcome more or less an inevitability. However, despite the importance of this mission on Riga 3, he would not deny her the chance to say goodbye to Vin if they did indeed run out of options. He was willing to risk his command to do it because Lord knew, if he had any forewarning that Sarah and Adam was going to be taken from him, nothing would have stopped him from going home and saying goodbye.

"You will be," he swallowed. "I promise."

"Thank you Captain," Alex said softly, trying to hide the emotion in her voice. "Thank you." 

*********

"I can’t get use to looking at you." Julia Pemberton replied as she saw Ezra in his Romulan disguise. Although she had told herself that she would not be coming to see him off at the transporter pad, not wanting to seem unprofessional, in the light of what he was going to do, she could not help it. She stood before him, trying to look brave even though this was a hazardous mission and if he and any of the Away Team were captured, the Romulans had every right to execute them for espionage.

"I assure you, this garb is temporary." Ezra answered with a smile, seeing the worry in her clear emerald eyes and knew she was putting up a brave front for his benefit. "The mission should not take more than a few hours and then I expect to be back on board."

Still the concern did not waver from her expression and Ezra supposed that it was unreasonable to expect that it should. She was no fool. She had to be aware of the risks if the mission failed and the outcome of all their futures if they were captured by the Romulans. "Julia," he said taking her small shoulders in his hands, "I will be back." 

"I know." She answered with a slight nod. "I just can’t help worrying about you."

"It is what I do." He reminded her.

"I know that too," she said trying not to get too emotional but knew that she couldn’t keep herself from being anything else when there was a possibility that she could lose him. Julia loved him like she had never loved anyone before and his death was unimaginable. "Sometimes I just wished it wasn’t."

"Its no easier for me when you are in engineering during a battle you know?" He pointed out. "I cannot tell you the number of times it has terrified me that you are so close to the warp core when that is our enemy’s primary target during an attack. I have fears that the warp core will breach or be flooded with radiation and there is no way I can protect you from the bridge."

"I guess so." She muttered feeling like a child that he had to pacify until his return. With a start, she realised that she was doing him no good behaving in this manner, especially when he was about to face whatever dangers awaiting him on the planet’s surface. She did not want him to leave the ship, with her worries and fears adding extra weight to his burden. Brightening up considerably through a Herculean effort on her part, Julia brought a smile to her lips. "So you better go down there and do what you have to get back up here. Huxley and I will be waiting."

"Did you have to bring up that temperamental feline?" Ezra groaned remembering the scratch marks on the leg of his antique Tudor chair. He had almost been tempted to introduce the kitten to the airlock when he realised that he would never get away with telling Julia that it had accidentally wandered in there and got jettisoned into space, even if he said it was an honest mistake.

"Oh Huxley loves her daddy." Julia teased, loving the expression of utter annoyance on Ezra’s face at that remark and knew that Huxley had just earned her keep for that accomplishment alone.

"I….am…..not…her…daddy." Ezra returned in a voice that could turn deutronium brittle with cold.

"Ezra," Julia continued to tease, trying to make them both laugh so that they did not have to be reminded that just a few minutes from now, he would be transporting to a Romulan stronghold. "If you’re going to behave like this, I have to wonder how you will be with our children."

"Children?" Ezra started to stutter. "We are not even occupying the same abode!"

"Ezra, don’t you want children?" Julia asked joking.

"I did not even want a cat!" He exclaimed and then noticed her snigger before realising that he had been played and well. "Have you sufficiently amused yourself my dear?" He asked sarcastically, inwardly pleased that she was not as frightened for him as she was.

"Enough until you get back." She answered with warm smile. "And you make sure you come back." She said authoritatively, like she was giving him an order even though technically, he outranked her.

"I promise you I will return to you," he took her hand and held it to his lips, not caring who saw and how inappropriate it appeared for two senior officers to be showing each other such open displays of affection. "And Huxley."

"If you’re done." Dylan Pierce’s voice shattered the tenderness of the moment with his impatience.

Ezra could see the man was bothered by the show of emotion being shared between him and Julia. He supposed he would feel just as envious in the man’s position, considering Alex was standing only a few feet away in discussion with Chris, regarding Vin no doubt. It was obvious that he still harboured feelings for Alex and though Ezra had no personal liking for the man, he could appreciate the open wound Dylan was sporting at seeing the love of his life reject him for someone else.

"We are done Mr Pierce." Ezra glimpsed at Julia and conveyed the rest of their farewell silently without need for words. She nodded slightly that worried expression crossing her face again, even though it was not as overt as the last time.

"Captain," Dylan turned to Chris. "We should be going."

Chris faced the commander with a glint in his eyes telling the junior officer that on his ship, he decided when the Away Team was ready to go to the surface. "I am well aware of that Commander." Chris responded aloofly.

He knew that Dylan was anxious to get started not because of any need to get the mission over and done with but rather because he was angry at the obvious affection being displayed by Julia and Ezra. Chris has no intention of allowing this man to rob the other members of his friends to make their farewells to each other, especially because he had personal issues of his own. At Dylan’s words, Alex slipped past the captain and stepped onto the transporter pad, not wishing to give Dylan more opportunity to complain when it would only serve to provoke the captain. Julia did the same, pulling away from Ezra and took the transportation station.

"Ezra you have the transponder." Chris spoke to the security chief, trying to avoid making any other comment to Dylan. "The minute anything goes wrong, you activate it and we’ll have you back on the ship in no time."

"That is gratifying to know." Ezra remarked glancing at his boot where the device had been neatly secreted from view. "Although you might want to keep scanning for neutrino signals. We may be cloaked at the moment but that does not mean the Romulans do not have a way to detect us. Their experience with cloaking technology far outweighs our own."

"I’ll keep that in mind." Chris nodded, knowing that advice from Ezra was not to be ignored. The man was extremely good at what he did and had sixth sense for trouble, which was probably how he managed to play those killer card games of his.

With that, Ezra joined Dylan and Alex on the transporter pad. The trio did not appear nervous although Dylan was trying hard not to look at Alex, while the science officer’s mind was probably fixated on Vin.

"Julia," he glanced at the petite Chief Engineer. "Do you have the coordinates for their landing site?"

"Keyed in and waiting your order." Julia answered, glancing at Ezra as she said that. However, in less than an instant, her eyes were fixed on the control station before her again.

"Good," Chris nodded shortly and faced his Away team again. "We’ll be waiting here for you." He stated firmly. "I won’t leave anyone behind. If you get into trouble, just use your transponder and I’ll have you out of there. The mission is important but not that important to risk three lives." His eyes shifted to Dylan before he added, "no matter who they are."

Dylan shrugged uncomfortably at the statement but nonetheless took the sentiment in the spirit it was given. "Thank you Captain," he met Chris’ gaze. "That’s good to know."

"Likewise Sir." Ezra agreed.

"Julia engage." Chris ordered and then added as the low whine of the transported filled the room with its resonance. "Good luck."

*************

After the Away Team had departed the ship, Chris made his way to Vin’s quarters, guessing that the Vulcan was probably even more miserable now that Alex was off the ship. He could imagine the guilt Vin must be feeling at being forced to remain on the ship when the woman he loved was undertaking a dangerous mission in hostile territory, especially when he should have been apart of the Away Team. Chris refused to let himself be mired about the probabilities of failure for those were always high when it came to missions in Romulan space. The Romulans were arrogant and superior, mostly because they were an efficiently ruthless race. If the Away Team for one moment forgot that, the Maverick would never get anyone of them back alive.

When he arrived at Vin’s quarters, he saw Nathan practically running out of the room. Following close behind was a bowl of food, which promptly shattered when it met the hard obstruction of the corridor wall. Beef Stroganoff when in all directions as the receptacle it had been held in crumbled on impact. The two security officers reached for their weapons but Nathan quickly gestured that it was all right, even though the healer did appear somewhat shaken.

"It’s alright." Nathan said appeasing the two security officers who looked at him with concern. "Just leave him be."

"Nathan, what’s going on?" Chris asked, announcing his presence to the doctor. "Did Vin just throw that at you?" He glanced briefly at the streaks of food sliding down the wall to the gooey mess at the base of it.

Nathan regarded Chris with a decidedly anxious look on his face and nodded. "Yeah he did, he admitted reluctantly. "The drugs are no longer working Chris."

Chris sucked in his breath at the news. In truth, he should not have been surprised but he had been hoping that there would be some miracle solution at the horizon, they just had to wait it out. Even as he stood before Nathan in the corridor, he could hear the sounds of destruction behind the door. Vin was on an almighty path of destruction inside its confines and the crashing noises of breakage that everyone was trying to ignore without much success.

"What can we do?" He asked almost desperately.

"There’s nothing more I can do." Nathan answered, wishing it were anything but so. "I’ve given him all the drugs I can give him. His system is so loaded right now it would kill a human. He’s barely noticing it. His metabolism is running like a locomotive."

Chris could tell that Nathan was bringing himself and his captain to a place he did not want to go but Chris had to know. "How long?" He asked, sparing Nathan the trouble of trying to find some way to tell him.

"A day, two at the most." Nathan said abruptly and even the security guards behind Chris stared at the healer in shock. "His body will keep running the way it has until his heart gives out. The imbalance itself will affect the brain first and then progress to the rest of his body, respiration, kidney functions, they’ll all shut down."

"Jesus Christ." Chris’ voice escaped in a harsh whisper. "We have to do something…."

"I’m doing everything I can Chris…." Nathan responded feeling just as helpless. "The fact is, he needs a mate. He needs to physically and mentally bond with a mate."

"I want to see him." Chris turned to Vin’s door.

"Captain that is inadvisable." Lieutenant Yoshi immediately spoke up. "He is extremely volatile at this moment."

"Chris I hate to admit but he’s right." Nathan declared. "Vin's almost savage."

"He’s my friend and I am not going to let him go through this alone!" Chris barked.

The sharpness of his voice ended any protest verbally but Lieutenant Yoshi was not about to let his captain go into a dangerous situation without any protection. Removing his phaser, he handed it to Chris. "Its set for stun Sir."

Chris wanted to refuse it but then realized that the young lieutenant was only doing the job Chris expected him to do to the best of his ability. Besides, if Chris were to get hurt, Ezra would probably have the lieutenant’s hide for allowing him to go into Vin’s room in the first place.

"Thank you." He answered taking the weapon before he continued his journey to the door.

This time, Chris did not announce himself when he entered. He doubted that Vin would have been able to hear him with all the racket the Vulcan was making. The damage Chris had seen earlier was nothing in comparison to the complete destruction he now faced. Furniture had been broken, the obvious cause being a fist through most of it. The soft cushioning material of the upholstery littered the floor, everything that had meant anything to Vin was shattered, smashed, some even pulverized. There were visible dents in the wall, knuckles leaving their indentations after being delivered with unbelievable fury. Vin was on his haunches when Chris entered and the captain stopped short at the sight of his friend.

Vin was covered in sweat, his hair hanging down his ears in wet strips, his eyes were almost black and unreadable while his face was fixed in a scowl of menace. He was poised like an animal about to attack and his muscles were slick and shiny from the readiness to pounce. Chris suddenly felt very glad that he had the phaser when the doors slid close behind him. He walked in deep enough to be seen but paused a few feet away from the helmsman. Instinct told him it would not be voice to make a further approach.

"Vin." Chris spoke up finally.

He did not answer but continued to stare.

Chris suddenly felt like the zebra that had inadvertently stumbled into the lion’s den. 

"Vin, can you hear me?" Chris asked again, hoping to reach the part of his friend that was now coexisting with all that rage and animal instinct.

"I hear you." Vin surprised him by answering.

"Vin, you’re giving us a bit of a scare." Chris pointed out. "You need to try and calm down."

"I’m just fine." Vin replied, his voice brittle. "Be better if you let me out of here."

"I’m sorry I can't. You’re not well." Chris answered automatically.

"I want her." Vin said in a low voice full of threat and sounded like broken glass. Chris did not have to ask who he meant.

"She’s not on the ship any more Vin." Chris responded, not about to let Vin anywhere near Alex in the condition he was presently in. "She’s on the mission."

"With him." Vin sneered, his eyes narrowing. His muscles flexed, rage rippled through them before culminating in the slight spark that look like flints being struck in his eyes.

"Vin," Chris did not want to answer that question because he had a feeling that he would not like the reaction he would receive. "Try and fight it Vin."

"She’s mine." The helmsman hissed starting to rock slightly, preparing to lunge "She’s my mate! I won’t let him have her!"

"She’s not yours Vin," Chris returned even though he rebuked himself a second later. "She belongs to no one except maybe herself."

"SHE’S MINE! I’LL KILL HIM BEFORE I LET HIM HAVE HER. NOW YOU LET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

Chris had barely a second after that scream left Vin’s lips when the helmsman sprung at him like a savage animal. Chris reacted swiftly and pulled the trigger hoping to God that Yoshi had been right about it being set to stun. The energy beam struck the Vulcan dead center, cutting short his advance towards Chris. Vin went sprawling backward, falling on top of an already damaged chair and completed its destruction when it collapsed under his weight. Chris remained frozen for a few seconds, unable to believe he had been forced to shoot. Once he was certain Vin was not getting up, Chris pushed himself to his feet and went to check on him. The Vulcan’s pulse such at it was, indicated that he was alive. Overhead, the sound of klaxon screamed through the air as the entire ship was alerted to an authorized weapon’s discharge.

"Captain, are you alright?" Yoshi asked anxious, bursting into the room, his Andorian companion next to him and Nathan Jackson close behind.

"I’m fine." Chris responded shortly, handing the young man his phaser back again.

"Did he…." Nathan asked.

Chris did not answer the doctor, turning instead to his security officers. "I want a Level 1 force field on this door. Two guards posted at all times. He does not come out for any reason and no one sees him except Nathan and myself understand? In particular any female personnel."

For the first time since this had all began, Chris actually believed that Alex was safer on Riga 3 than she was on the Maverick.

Part Eleven

 The first thoughts that crossed Alex’s mind upon materializing at the landing coordinates on Riga 3 was how anyone could grow up in a place like this.

Almost as soon after they had arrived, Alex had been forced to discard her jacket in favour of just her singlet covering her top because the humidity took up almost a hundred percent of the atmospheric content and made extra layers of clothing unbearable. The heat was invasive and fast acting. Minutes after she and the rest of the Away team had arrived; she could feel sweat forming on her skin, the kind that covered her limbs with a perennial layer of moisture. The air itself was just as soggy and moist, making her lungs feel like damper each time she took a breath. The woods in which they arrived was no less forgiving, with tall thin trunks and a thick canopy ahead that blocked out the sun. Heavy rains kept the ground wet and muddy, filtering through the breaks in the uneven canopy. There was just enough sunlight to ensure that the ground was covered in vegetation, providing a perfect hunting ground for local predators.

Alex slapped another insect from her face, not giving it to find a comfortable place upon to rest and feed. Dylan and Ezra were suffering even worse bouts with the climate, mostly because the Romulan uniforms of thick, restrictive material seemed to attract heat even more than what she was wearing. Still both men bore the discomfort stoically. Alex cast her gaze across the surrounding environment of trees, vines, uneven and muddy ground, tall grasses and wondered how Vin could have survived in a place like this all by himself for so many years. The equatorial forest before her was daunting even for a stay of a few hours, she could not imagine trying to make a home in this green mire. She wiped the seat from her brow and felt another pang of longing as she tried not to worry about him.

They had been forced to transport to coordinates almost ten kilometres away from the actual base itself, in order to keep from alerting any proximity sensors to the presence of a transporter beam. No doubt the jungle perimeter surrounding the facility would also be laden with similarly formidable detection devices and Alex was glad that she was not the one who would have to circumvent them to enter the place. They began crossing the distance almost as soon as they arrived and the heat seemed even more taxing as they travelled through the thick jungle. As the sunset in the horizon, the temperature did not drop more than a few degrees and remained fixed like most equatorial regions.

A full day on Riga 3 lasted no more than sixteen hours and they had that much time to gather the information needed and head out of Romulan space. The trip to the outer perimeter of the Romulan research base took almost five. Inwardly, Alex knew that had Vin been here, that time would have been halved. The Vulcan had an uncanny sense when it came to knowing the best path to take in order to get somewhere. It did not matter whether or not he was in a holodeck simulation of an Old West program, in an unforgiving hell like this one or behind the control station of starship, he just saw paths where there were none. For the hundredth time since landing on Riga, Alex told herself to stop thinking about him.

"Don’t move." Ezra Standish spoke as he aimed his tricorder at the indistinguishable patch of green before him.

The group halted in their tracks, painfully aware of how much could be hidden in all this greenery. It was night and visibility was poor with the large fronds and fallen logs, covered in lichens and moss adding to the anonymity of any hidden security devices. Alex stared at her own tricorder, trying to see what the security officer had detected that he refused to allow them to move an inch.

"Ezra, I’m reading nothing." She remarked.

"Standish, are you sure you’re not chasing ghosts?" Dylan asked eager to push on now that the break in the jungle was only a few hundred yards away.

"I’m not using the tricorder to find the security devices, I’m using it to scan for unusual elements." Ezra responded, his gaze still fixed on the terrain ahead.

"I’m only detecting a small metal radiation." Alex countered immediately. "But that could be just the content of the soil. It could be rich in minerals." However, she remained fixed to the spot. Ezra’s expression had way too much intensity for her to ignore it.

"It could be." Ezra sheathed his tricorder and took a step forward. His eyes searched the green, moving across the foliage with eyes that missed nothing even in the darkness. After what seemed an eternity that threatened to shatter Dylan’s patience into a thousand fragments, Ezra paused and dropped to one knee and reached out. He captured in between his fingers, a thin line of metal so fine that it was almost impossible to see until the light of the pale moon bounced off it smooth attention. If one had not been aware they ought to be paying attention, it was possible to walk straight through it.

"What is it?" Alex asked as he touched it experimentally.

"I would say the Romulans have chosen not to expend unnecessary technology in maintaining a defensive perimeter. These little trip wire though crude, is far more effective than anything large and cumbersome." The security chief remarked and gestured his companions to withdraw further behind him. Once he was certain they had achieved minimum safe distance, he tugged at the line with more insistence and was rewarded with an explosion of sound as a bolt of energy exploded out of nowhere.

"Ezra, watch out!" Alex cried out.

Ezra dropped to the ground low enough to avoid being hit by the blast that vaporized a tree on his left flank. As it burned with thick tongues of orange flame, Ezra stood up once more and looked over his shoulder to ensure his deactivation of the booby trap did not inadvertently harm any member of the Away Team.

"Primitive but effective," he commented as he turned back to them.

"I wonder what other surprises they got waiting for us." Dylan mused, looking at the jungle ahead with concern.

"I would suggest we tread extremely lightly," Ezra answered. "I seriously doubt what we just saw was the only trick in their repertoire."

Alex had to agree. She glanced upwards at the sky and saw the sun starting to peak at the edge of the horizon. They did not have much time. The infiltration into the base would be best conducted under the cover of night, what there was of it at this point. She would remain in the woods, keep watch and waiting for the two men to conduct their business. If they should not return by the appointed hour, she would have to signal the ship and then it would be to the purview of the diplomats to untangle the mess that would ensue. However, the reality of the situation that Alex was all too aware, that it was most likely that if caught neither Dylan or Ezra would live long enough to have their fates decided upon in that manner. Chances were more likely that the Romulans would kill them here for the crime of espionage.

"You need to get going," she looked at them. "Now, before it gets any lighter."

"The lady is correct." Ezra agreed.

"She always is," Dylan remarked offering Alex a wan smile tinged with affection and grief. "You stay here." He stared at her. "If we don't come back. You activate your transponder and get yourself back to the Maverick."

"If you get caught, they'll kill you." Alex pointed out.

"I know that." He returned her gaze sharply. "But it will be a damn side better than what they would do to you."

Ezra could have decked Dylan for saying that but the remark had its desired effect. Alex's face turned ashen at the possibility of finding herself a prisoner of the Romulans, the way she was a prisoner of the Cardassians. Ezra knew perfectly well even though Dylan did not that Alex would be more than willing to kill herself first rather than be taken alive. Even the possibility of enduring the hell she had suffered before was too much of a gamble she would not take.

"I believe Commander Styles knows that." Ezra said with more than a little tension in his voice. He wondered if Dylan was that thoughtless or did he know so little of the woman he claimed to still love to be able to throw that in her face.

"I just wanted her to know the risks." Dylan muttered, realizing too late why the security officer was glaring at him and why Alex had to turn away. He cursed himself under his breath but the words were spoken and too late to be taken back.

"I do." Alex turned to face him a second later, completely composed. "I know precisely what I risk and I can assure you, I would rather die than let myself be taken alive. You have no need to concern yourself, just get to where you're going in one piece."

"Alex...." Dylan started to say.

"It's alright Dylan." Alex raised her hand in a small gesture to tell him that she had heard quite enough for the time being. "You two better get going. There was a little bit of a clearing back there," she glanced at the near non-existent path behind them. "I'll wait for you there."

"Come along Pierce," Ezra said shortly as he started forward. "I believe you have said enough." While Ezra did not man handle Dylan in anyway, his tone certainly indicate that it was wise if the Lieutenant Commander chose to follow him in favour of spouting off any more words of encouragement to Alex.

Dylan lingered, wanting to say something but could not find the words and after what had already been spoken, decided the security officer was right; he had said enough. Turning away, the last thing he heard from Alex was a muted good luck but it had very little effect upon him. Dylan was starting to think that his luck had dissolved the moment he had let them talk him into leaving her after she had been found by the Cardassians.  

*************

They had walked some distance away from Alex with Dylan still stinging over his careless words and Alex's reaction to it. Ezra could tell the man was angry at himself and though he did not like Dylan much personally, he did feel empathy for the pain the covert operative must be enduring with everything that had happened to not only Alex's life but his, in recent years.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ezra asked, not really expecting an answer but felt compelled to try because after coming so close to losing Julia once, he could imagine what Dylan was going through being still in love with Alex when she had continued with her life and left him behind.

"I've lost her." The man surprised him by saying. His voice was soft, almost a whisper. "I've lost her, haven't I?"

Ezra did not wish to give him more pain but there did not seem a way to be able to mask the truth from him and Ezra did not want to lie, not about something so close to the man's heart. "Yes, I am afraid you have."

Dylan nodded slowly because this was no surprise to him but the admission was hard. "When she went on that damn mission, I knew something was going to happen." He spoke softly and Ezra had a feeling the revelation he was making was not something that had ever been told by him to anyone. "I just had this feeling that it was going sour. I had my own mission to worry about but all through I kept thinking about her, hoping that I was wrong. In my business the feeling is everything, you know?"

Dylan met his gaze, not really seeing him Ezra suspected, just a friendly ear to listen to everything that he had been holding back for so long. "I know to what you are referring."

"When I got back and heard the news that her ship had been destroyed and that there were the possibility that survivors made it off, I prayed to God that she was one of the dead. Can you believe that?" His eyes started to cloud with emotion. "I actually wished she were dead because I knew how the Cardassians treated female prisoners. I had bad dreams for the six months that she was gone. They all listed the MIA's of that mission as dead and I really hoped that was the truth but there was always something that nagged at the back of my mind that maybe it wasn't so."

"I cannot imagine how you must have felt." Ezra answered and genuinely meant it.

"That was nothing compared to finding out that she was alive." Dylan admitted. "Everything that I prayed that wouldn't have happen to her did. Her father was absolutely devastated. He wanted her out of the service. Half the reason she doesn't talk to him is because of that. I wanted to see her but they told me I should stay away. She was almost catatonic when they found her."

Ezra had seen her reaction when Gul Lemar was on board and the man had taken such pride in revealing just what Alex had been subjected to while under his care that there was not a man among the senior staff who did not wish him dead. "I have heard some of the details." He admitted. "So you never saw her after she returned from Cardassian space?"

"No," Dylan shook his head sadly. "I stayed away because they told me she couldn't stand seeing me and I didn't want her to be hurt any more than she is. I took an extended mission to allow her the time to heal. When I returned, I learnt that she had gone to Borath and you have better luck fighting the entire Borg collective than trying to get past ol' Kellien."

"Yes, I have met the lady," Ezra answered remembering the warrior woman who considered Alex the daughter she never had.

"Kellien wouldn't let me see her and then the next thing I knew, I got this letter saying that it was over. She couldn't go through the wedding. I never expected that but I suppose I should have." He said softly, his voice drifting away to thoughts that Ezra was not privy.

"Dylan," Ezra tried to said something comforting, since they were about to take part in a hazardous mission and allowing the man to remain in his state of melancholy was only going to get both of them killed. "You had to realise that when you came on board the Maverick, you would not find the woman you loved."

"I knew." The operative nodded, exhaling loudly. "I'd hoped that maybe it wouldn't be that way but I don't blame the Vulcan for falling in love with her. It's so easy even if she is someone I barely know anymore."

Ezra suddenly raised his hand in a gesture of silence as the tree line suddenly diminished around them and in the darkened distance ahead, they could see the outline of the base in the night. There were the tell tale signs of habitation by the lights scattered across the large complex and the Romulans who were patrolling its grounds leisurely. Both men went dead silent as they watched with equal intensity, the terrain they would have to infiltrate.

"You ready for this?" Dylan asked, his attitude towards the security chief a great deal friendlier than before.

"No," Ezra retorted. "However, as Alex is so found of saying, let's get on with it anyway." 

**********

His head hurt.

When the darkness finally filtered from his brain and senses flooded a consciousness previously dormant, Vin Tanner awoke. He was like a lion awaking in a cage, realizing that he had been drugged and trapped, taken far away from home and about to undergo some new humiliation in a world far removed from his own and was about to vent the full fury of his rage. He sat upright and found himself exactly where he had landed after Chris had shot him with the phaser, on the broken remnant of a chair. Hardly noticing how uncomfortable lying on it had been Vin stood upright almost immediately. His limbs ached from the phaser blast but the pain was receding fast.

They were keeping her away from him.

This thought screamed through his head with more clarity than any other. More than the effects of the stun blast on his system, the fact that his room looked like a tornado had been through it or the fact that his knuckles were indigo in places from slamming his fist into the wall. They were hiding her from him, he decided firmly. They knew she was his and yet there were keeping him from her. They had no right, he told himself indignantly. She was his mate. He would have no other but her. He could not imagine why they would keep her away when he so obviously needed and she had wanted him. Vin closed his eyes and pictured how she felt, a kaleidoscope of warmth memories crowded in on his senses when he remembered how she had groaned his name in pleasure and how she begged him to touch her.

Vin shuddered just thinking about how she felt and his blood felt like fire under his skin. Chris, his best friend, his mind reasonable viscously was at the heart of this separation. Chris was keeping Alex away from him. Chris was the one who had kept him trapped inside this room like an animal, Chris was the one who had shot him and Chris was the one who had the power to bring Alex here but did not. Chris was the betrayer! They all were! Nathan too with his potions that did nothing to stop this ever-deepening hunger that twisted his inside into so many knots that he could barely stand it. She was his mate! Did they not understand that?

Vin had touched her mind. He knew he had the power to take away her sorrows, to fill her life with pleasure and companionship. Was he not the only one who made her feel safe? She had said so! How many times had she come into his arms, wanting him to touch her? He couldn't before but now he could more than touch her, he could do everything she burned for him to do. Vin could smell the musk of her arousal in his lungs during their last encounter, how pliable she had become to his ministrations. He felt his body becoming charged with the memories of her, feel his blood coursing through his veins each time she gasped out loud and begged him to love her. She needed to be touched and he wanted to oblige her, he wanted her long and hard, slow yet brutal. She liked it that way, though he knew she would never admit it. He'd show her pleasure and pain and Vin knew Alex would enjoy it very much.

He would not let Chris keep them apart!

Chris was out there, preventing his mate from coming to him.

Well that was fine, Vin thought as he stopped pacing the floor and stared at the door where two security officers were no doubt waiting for him.

If they would not bring her to him then Vin would simply have to go Alex.

Part Twelve

At first sight, there was nothing that could be considered out of the ordinary when one approached the installation that was meant to harbour such illegal activities. It looked like any research facility with the usual amount of security dispatched in order to prevent valuable secrets from being stolen away by those who would exploit. There was that clean, antiseptic smell to it that screamed all things pure and scientific, not to mention the silence of those within whose minds were fixated upon the work with such dedication that speech seemed to be a frivolous waste of time.

The sun's ascent into the sky was less than an hour away and both Ezra and Dylan had agreed that they wanted to be gone from this place by then. They had approached the perimeter of the base without arousing any suspicions since they appeared like any other team on patrol. With this guise, they were able to slip past the grounds of the structure. Unlike the jungle that was within sight of them, the lawns surrounding the facility were not at all unruly or overgrown, but tended to with Romulan efficiency with manicured grass and trees planted in just the right spot to provide shade for its inhabitants.

Ezra and Dylan entered the main doors and nodded at the two guards stationed there. The duo in charge appeared bored and did not pay much attention to the two Starfleet officers as they entered a wide corridor that took the away from the entrance. There was hardly anyone about and Ezra wondered how much of this had to do with the time of day or the fact that this installation was so secret that not many people were privy to its existence. Even though there was no reason for it, Ezra felt an eerie chill run through his spine as they progressed deeper inside the installation. With the gut instinct he relied upon so explicitly all his life, Ezra could feel something ominous in these walls even though he was reluctant to express it to Dylan.

Suddenly a set of door slid open from further down the corridor and a Jem Haddar warrior emerged from the room. He was devoid of his armour, wearing only a green jumpsuit. He paused in the middle of the corridor, his head, covered in the bony protrusions indicative of the species, turned from side to side as he decided the best way to run. Unfortunately, his choice had him coming straight for them. A voice behind him called out sharply.

"STOP HIM!"

Ezra and Dylan looked at each other as they saw the Jem Haddar running towards them, his eyes wide open, with more than a desperate expression of fear on his face. His eyes almost seemed to be pleading at them to let him pass and Ezra did not know what was more jarring, the fact that he expected them to be merciful or that a Jem Haddar warrior, a creature bred for war and victory at all costs was actually terrified.

"We have to." Dylan hissed softly. "Our cover will be blown!"

Ezra swore under his breath, hating himself for having to carry out his order. Behind the Jem Haddar escapee, two Romulans had appeared from the room the prisoner had just fled. Any chance Ezra had of letting the Dominion soldier escape died with their arrival. To save the life of the Away Team, he simply had to act. Without meeting the Jem Hadar's gaze, Ezra withdrew the disrupter he had in his holster and fired a single shot. The beam of energy struck him dead centre and stopped short any further advance. As the unconsciousness claimed him, Ezra caught sight of his face and his memory was seared by the visage of despair by the warrior who knew his brief dash for freedom was done.

He dropped heavily to the smooth floor, face first and Ezra stood there for a brief second, hating himself for having to do this. Ezra went to the prisoner and dropped to his knee, reaching for the Jem Hadar's neck and searching for a pulse. The disrupter was set for stun but Ezra needed to confirm this for himself. The pulse that throbbed under his fingertips soon indicated the Jem Haddar was still alive although Ezra had a feeling that the warrior would not be grateful for this fact when he finally awoke.

"He's alive." Ezra told Dylan.

However Dylan was not looking at him but rather at the Romulan who had called out to them to incapacitate the prisoner.

"Well done Centurion." Her voice addressed them and forced Ezra to his feet quickly. She paused and looked at the fallen prisoner for a second before raising her eyes to meet theirs. "He manage to break his restraints."

She was in Ezra's opinion, the most stunning beauty he had ever seen. Although she was almost certainly Romulan, with the upswept brows and the indigo colored eyes, she did not wear her hair in bangs like most Romulans but rather loose around her shoulders, it cascaded from her sultry face in dark waves of jet. Her uniform indicated she was a Romulan Sub-Commander, which meant she was very highly placed here, if not in charge all together.

"Thank you Sir." Dylan answered smoothly.

She studied them both for a moment, an action that only served to make Ezra nervous for some reason. Did she notice something different about them?

"Are you new here?" She asked.

"Yes," Dylan responded. "We arrived only yesterday." 

"I see." She nodded after a second of consideration. "There are so many faces here." She dismissed the subject and turned to her prisoner. "If you would bring him along, I have work to finish."

"Yes Commander." Dylan answered and glanced at Ezra to help him with the prisoner. The woman turned on her heels and started walking back the way she came, completely expecting them to follow her. Ezra and Dylan exchanged glances once more, realizing that they had no choice but to comply, reached down and pulled the unconscious prisoner to his feet before they started following her to the door she had emerged.

It took all of Ezra's considerable efforts as a consummate actor to hide his reaction upon entering the Sub-Commander's research area and could well understand what had caused the Jem Haddar warrior to flee with so much terror in his eyes. Dylan did not react but seemed stunned into silence as they stepped into what appeared to be a chamber of horrors. What Ezra saw within the confines of that room was seared into his memory, rivalling the horrors he had seen during that ill-fated mission to Fury 361. It sickened him to know that this was not however, the creation of an organism driven by need to reproduce but rather a powerful intellect who had no sense of compassion to accompany her desire for scientific truth.

Encased inside glass cylinders were Jem Haddar warriors.

They were all dead. At least Ezra hoped they were. All were on the floor of the cylinders, forced into a sitting position in their collapse. They were all naked, their skin clinging to their bones, their cheeks sunken into their skulls. They were so emaciated that it made Ezra feel a growl in his stomach just from the imagination of the intense hunger they must have felt. There were no tubes attached to their faces so it was clear they had not received any supplies of Ketracel White, the substance their creators had ensured they would need to survive. Some of the cylinders were smeared with blood where its captives had pounded futilely against the glass in an effort to escape. The cause of death for all of the prisoners was obvious however; they had been deprived of their Ketracel White. In death, their degradation did not end for Ezra saw dissected bodies laid out for all to see, to pick and probe, in order to chart the progress of their systematic deterioration.

"Put him there." The Sub Commander gestured to a stainless steel flat table in the center of the room. Trolleys containing trays of vicious looking instruments with sharp and serrated edges surrounded it.

Ezra was particularly mindful of the leg and wrist straps that were attached to the table. Dylan gave him a look telling him to do as she ordered and once again, Ezra felt himself hating the fact that he was forced to do this. Taking a deep breath, he help Dylan hoist the unconscious man to the table, conscious of the Sub Commander watching every move he was making. Ezra had a bad feeling about her; it was an instinct that guarded him for most of his life and one he knew had never led him astray. She was playing with them, he was almost certain but he knew no way of warning Dylan without tipping their hand.

Ezra tried not to think about what he was doing when he placed the Jem Hadar's wrist into the metal straps and prayed inwardly that his death would be a quick one. As it was, the security chief of the Maverick was finding it extremely difficult to go along with this entire situation because it was seriously undermining his duty as a Starfleet Officer to protect the innocent. Letting this man die for the sake of a mission was could not be for the greater good, no matter how much he tried to convince himself.

"Sub Commander," Ezra said after a moment of reflection. "What do you plan to do with him?"

Dylan shot Ezra a furious look. "That's not your place to ask Centurion." The operative's voice was taut with anger.

"That's all right," the Sub Commander replied with a smile and regarded Ezra, her eyes narrowing as she stared at him. "I plan on immediate dissection of course."

Ezra felt his heart tighten in his chest. "Why?" He asked softly. 

"We need to determine the effects of white withdrawal on the system." She answered him, watching his reaction closely. "Before we can engineer a specimen who displays the same effects of the White on his system, we need to know how it effects the original."

"By the looks of it, you've had plenty of experience with dissection already." Ezra swallowed thickly, avoiding meeting Dylan's eyes. No doubt the agent was plenty mad at him but Ezra had come to a decision and knew that if worse came to worse, Chris Larabee would back his actions. The captain would not tolerate this any more then he could.

"Why don't you help me?" She stepped forward and picked up an instrument.

Ezra merely stared at her. "Help you?" He asked, too horrified to even to entertain the notion.

"Yes," she handed him the scalpel, waiting to see if he would take it.

Ezra took a deep breath and decided that he had no choice. She had him in a corner and she knew it. Taking a deep breath, he pulled out his disrupter and fired. Her expression was that of surprise when the beam struck her and send her sprawling.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Dylan demanded.

"I would think that it's fairly obvious." Ezra retorted as he started to undo the straps around the Jem Hadar's hands.

"We're supposed to monitor the situation and report back to Starfleet!" Dylan glared at Ezra.

"I will not leave him here to be butchered like the rest of these poor souls!" Ezra returned sharply as he looked at the cylinders around him. "Now you said we needed proof, well here it is! I believe an eye witness account, not to mention an actual prisoner of this facility would be ample evidence to Starfleet and the Romulan high command, don't you?"

Dylan could not fault his logic even though he knew that Ezra had come up with that answer at the spur of the moment. He could not blame Ezra for acting the way he did but Dylan could not condone his actions because he had endangered the mission no matter how much he tried to rationalize his actions. Unfortunately, whether or not Dylan disagreed with Ezra was hardly relevant considering that the die was cast and they had only one alternative left to them.

"Help me!" Ezra barked as he freed the unconscious Jem Haddar warrior.

"This is a bad idea." Dylan growled in response as he took hold of the Dominion soldier and lifted him off the metal table. "The minute they find her, they'll be tearing the place apart for us."

Ezra knew that but he was adamant that he was right. "Then we better be out of here before they find us." The security officer responded, hoping he would not have to regret his brave words if they were captured. Glancing at the unconscious woman on the floor briefly, Ezra knew that he had no wish to be in her company or for that matter in her power.

Somehow, he knew instinctively that the consequences of that would be a fate worse than death. 

**********

 Vin Tanner stared at the door to his quarters and knew that it was now or never.

 Alex was waiting for him. He could feel her under his skin, calling to him wherever Chris had hidden her away from him. The need for her was all consuming now. His skin felt raw and sensitive, aching to touch and for her touch all at the same time. Even his clothes started to feel uncomfortable against his skin and it became a conscious effort to keep from ripping their irritation from his body. After he had woken up from Chris' attack, Vin noted that no one else had come to visit him. His friends had disappeared, not just Chris and Nathan but Mary and all the others. He wondered if they were involved in the conspiracy to keep Alex from him and knew that must be so because nothing would stop his mate from coming to him when he needed her so desperately.

He had waited for her as long as he could and knew with growing certainty that she was not coming because they were keeping her away from him. It was inconceivable that she would not come if she could. Vin remembered how she had kissed him, how her lips had tasted his own and how she had moaned his name when he had touched her. He knew from their brief exchange that she wanted him, that she needed to mate with him just as desperately as he needed her. Was she feeling the same ache that he was suffering at this moment, was she trying to reach him as he wanted her to come to him? It infuriated Vin to no end to think that his friend, his best friend Chris Larabee might be the reason why they had not already consummated their union.

Perhaps Chris wanted Alex for himself.

The thought suffused the Vulcan with utter rage. Chris had no right to Alex! No one did! Not Dylan, not even Buck who had the audacity to copulate with her once. She was his! He would allow no one else to have her!

Such thoughts moved through his mind at lighting speed, impulses moving back and forth through his synapses with such speed, he barely had time to process every one. Somewhere deep inside of him, Vin was conscious of something terribly wrong with him but that part of him was powerless to stop the rage that was reaching the point of no return. He stood by the doorway, aware that he had to get past it to reach Alex. There was something inside him that was drawing him to her and the first hurdle he would have to breach in order to reach her would be the security officers outside his door. Chris would not be foolish enough to leave him unguarded, not if the captain wanted to keep him from Alex.

Vin stood in the center of the room and started shouting. "Help me! Help me! I can't breathe!" He added the added embellishment of a hoarse raspy tone to his plea; aware that the security officers were already of the belief that he was ill and his performance would bring them into the room faster than any other method he did not have time to devise.

As anticipated, the doors slid open a second later and Lieutenant Yoshi entered the room even though Vin had always assumed that the security officers would not be fools. One of them, in this case Yoshi, would enter his quarters, while Ensign Holden would fall back just to ensure that this was not some elaborate ruse on his part. The phasers of both were drawn even though Vin's performance of lying on the floor seemed to make Yoshi waver somewhat. The security officer seemed uncertain of what to do at the moment, knowing that he ought to be cautious but not enough to risk the life of the Captain's best friend in case this act of choking was the real thing.

Vin had no such conflict and allowed Yoshi to continue forward. The security officer's phaser was still drawn but his attention was starting to become distracted by Vin's choking and writhing on the floor. Vin waited for the opening he knew was inevitable now as the man closed the distance between them and knelt down to help Vin. The moment his knee touched the floor, Vin grabbed the hand holding the phaser and snapped the man's wrist like kindling. The loud crunch of bone followed an ear-piercing scream as Vin maintained his hold on Yoshi and leapt to his feet faster than Holden could take aim.

Aware that the security officer would have no trouble shooting him, Vin flung Yoshi at Holden, taking the brunt of the stun bolt Holden had fired at him. The Japanese lieutenant felt unconscious immediately, his body hurtling forward at full speed and slammed Holden in the wall behind him. Vin sprang forward, collecting Yoshi's phaser and reached Holden as the ensign attempt to dislodge Yoshi off his body and tap his com badge to alert the bridge of trouble. Vin lashed out hard, his fist connecting with Holden's jaw and shattering bone with that single punch. Holden had just enough time to cry out in pain before he slumped across Yoshi's body just as unconscious.

Vin retrieved Holden's phaser and tucked it in the waistband of his pants and snatched both com badge from their uniforms. Glancing around to make sure no one saw what he had done, Vin picked both men up with each hand, their weight barely registering on him as he carried them into his quarters and flung them inside. They tumbled in without a sound and remained still as Vin went to the door panel and sealed the door behind him.

"Computer. Initiate lockout - access granted on voice command only." Vin said coolly.

With that, he turned on his heels and made his way to the transporter room and to Alex. 

*********

Julia Pemberton was trying to keep herself busy.

It was a practice she had become accustomed to since she had become involved with a security officer. In particular one who was at this moment in hostile territory, undergoing a dangerous mission he might not come back from if things were to go one fraction away from being exactly as planned. Deciding that she would avail herself nothing by worrying continuously about Ezra until his return, Julia chose instead to run a maintenance check in Transporter Room 2. When she had transported the Away Team to the surface of Riga 3 earlier, she had discovered that there was slight variance in one of the energy coils. The effects though minor was not something that ought to be left over a period of time. Thinking accurately that it would take her mind off Ezra, Julia returned to Transporter Room 2 in order to carry out a routine maintenance check as well as repairing the problem.

She was starting to pull the panel off console when suddenly she heard footsteps behind her. Julia straightened up and turned around when a fist struck her jaw and send her flying across the transporter room. The pain was immense and her landing was just as bad. Julia's head was a kaleidoscope of pain and disorientation when she impacted hard against the floor, feeling bones snap beneath her. She screamed upon hearing the terrible sound of breaking bone in her hip and was gripped in a red haze of pain. She knew she was bleeding because she could taste its metallic texture in her mouth. After a few seconds of spinning, Julia tried to sit up when she felt fingers digging into her hair and pulling her to sitting position.

Another scream escaped her as she felt the excruciating agony of jagged bone scraping against each other in her hip. Without even seeing the injury, she knew that the pelvic bone upon which she had landed was broken.

"Where is she?" Vin demanded. His voice was low and hoarse, closer to animal than it was human.

Julia could barely focus as she looked at him through eyes blurred with pain. "What?" She stammered, through her bleeding lips.

"WHERE IS SHE?" He repeated himself, twisting her head in his hand so hard that she was forced to look into his face.

Julia felt her breath catch in her throat as she saw the savage gleam in his cobalt colored eyes, not to mention the animalistic expression of on his face. He was insane. Without thinking, she reached for her com badge and tried to signal for help but he was too fast for her. His fist clenched around her hand and squeezed so hard, she let out another cry of pain.

"Vin, please!" She begged as the pain receptors in her brain started to overload. "You're not well!"

"Tell me!" He ignored her and squeezed harder until Julia started to sob from the pain.

"I won't!" Julia cried out, not about to let him anywhere near Alex in the condition he was in. "I don't know where she is!"

"You're lying." He hissed. He let go of her head and instead pressed his fingers to her cheekbone on the side of her face. Julia tried to pry them from but his grip was like vise like and powerfully strong. For a moment, she had no idea what he was trying to do until she saw him close his eyes and felt something creeping into her thoughts.

"NO!" Julia started to fight; pain and terror washed aside as she felt Vin intruding upon her mind.

"Let me have it!" He snarled. He closed his eyes and could see what he wanted. The terror in her mind led him straight to the information and the more she was screaming for him to stop, the easier it was to access what he needed. Vin sliced through her thoughts with little difficulty, the Pon Farr making it so much easier to break through the barriers of her mind to find what he needed.

The exact frequency of the Away Team's transponder signal.

Even though it was not activated, Vin could track it if he knew the frequency and if Alex was in possession of the device as every member of the Away would undoubtedly be in such a hostile environment, he would find her. The information flooded into his mind easily because Julia was in so much pain and terribly frightened. Once he had it, he released his hold of the Chief Engineer. Julia let out a strangled gasp with tears running down her cheeks at the invasion of her mind she had been forced to endure.

"Vin," she looked up at him, still unable to feel hatred for him despite the ravaged stage of her being. She knew the gentle and shy young man that he was, the friend that had helped her improve her helm skills, the one who had shared her enthusiasm for restoring the old ships they came across some times and who liked sharing Baked Alaskas with. He was not this vicious creature before her now. Julia believed that even though her body was broken and her mind was pounding in agony at his intrusion.

"Don't do this." She spoke through the blood in her mouth as she watched him stride towards the transporter pad to feed in the coordinates he needed to reach Alex.

Vin was not listening to her.

Julia searched frantically for her com badge and saw it lying a few feet away. She tried to move towards it and felt a renewed bout of searing pain as she made the attempt. All she could do in its aftermath was to give up and lie there helplessly. The last thing she heard before the world went black was the hum of the transporter and Vin Tanner disappearing in a shimmer of gold.

PART THIRTEEN

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