Epilogue
Reflections
As suspected, when Josiah finally met Audrey King at
the Christmas party held at the Larabees, the woman
looked at him with no idea who he was. He could not say that he was
disappointed, since he had guessed this possibility might exist which was one
of the reasons, why he had not approached her in the days leading to the event.
With Audrey knowing very few people in town other than Mary, Chris' new wife
thought it would only be right to invite the woman to the small gathering she
was having on Christmas Day. Besides, Lilith and Billy seemed to be spending a
great deal of time together and Josiah suspected that the invitation was also
made so that the boy would have company during the festivities when adults
surrounded him.
While Audrey did not recognize him, Lilith was another
story entirely. He had no idea how the spell worked so that reality was been
twisted back into place to return them to where they were but when Josiah
appeared before the young girl, her eyes widened in recognition. Lilith
remained silent in careful observations as he regarded Audrey, who looked
exactly as he had beheld her in the dream world where he had been a preacher
and they had walked through the mist between realities.
"Please to meet you Mr. Sanchez." Audrey
replied graciously as Mary went off to deal with more guests once the
introductions were made, confident that Josiah would be able to entertain
Audrey while she was indisposed. Josiah had this strange suspicion that Mary
might also be taking an opportunity to do a little match making if the grimace
on Chris' face was anything to go by before Mary dragged him off. Although the
gathering was small, the house was filling up with the sounds of seven and
their companions and the atmosphere was thick with the feeling of family, even
to an outsider like Audrey.
"You're the one doing the fine work on the
church, are you not?" She asked politely, oblivious to Lilith staring him
down with wide eyes.
"Yes I am," Josiah answered, unable to feel
very formal around her, particularly after what they went through together.
"Please call me Josiah."
"Thank goodness," she said with a sigh.
"I hate being called Mrs. King, it makes me feel terribly old."
Audrey joked, breaking into that familiar smile that he had grown accustomed to
from their previous encounter, even if that encounter had been discarded once
things had righted themselves.
"You certainly don't look it," Josiah
complimented graciously before asking. "I am going to get myself some
eggnog, would you like me to bring you some?" He inquired politely because
he wanted a chance to speak to Lilith.
"If you don't mind," Audrey remarked
appreciatively. Although Mary Larabee had been most
gracious with this invitation, Audrey had not as yet felt comfortable wandering
around the lady's home searching for things and while she knew about the seven
men who protected the town, she had not come across Josiah before this. He was
not what she expected, for a lawman or a former preacher. In fact, he looked
more comfortable around books and libraries than he did with guns and pulpit.
In any case, Audrey found herself warming to him for reasons she could not
explain.
"Lilith," Josiah shifted his gaze to the
girl, who appeared as if she wanted to speak to him but was held back by her
mother's presence. "Why don't you come with me? I'm sure Billy is around
here waiting to see you."
"Can I momma?" She glanced at Audrey,
seeking permission to take her leave, as any well-mannered child was required
to do.
"Of course darling," Audrey replied without
hesitation, flashing a smile of encouragement at her daughter to accompany her
consent. "I am certain Josiah won't allow me to languish on my own for too
long." She met his gaze with an expression of mischief and Josiah found
himself reminded of that eccentric woman with whom he had taken a turn with to
the creek in Cherrybrook.
"I would not dream of it Audrey," Josiah
chuckled, somewhat pleased that he had not been mistaken about her easy going
manner or their instant liking for one another while he had been trapped in
that world of fiction. "Come along Lilith," Josiah urged. "I
don't plan on leaving your mother alone for too great a time."
As they left Audrey behind in the parlour
and moved towards the kitchen, Josiah waited until they were sure not to be
overheard before finally turned his attention to Lilith. "I take it you
remember what happened?" He asked, trying not to sound reproachful but
could not help keeping the stern tone from his voice, considering what havoc
the child had wrought with her amateur dabbling in what was very serious magic.
"Yes Mr. Sanchez," Lilith nodded slowly.
"I woke up and everything was like it was before."
That was more or less what had happened to Josiah when
he had woken up that night and found himself thrust back into the world he
knew. What had taken place in that picture perfect existence soon faded away
like the final vestiges of dream in the waking world. While all of it now took
on the translucent feel of unreality, Josiah knew that it had been anything but
that. He had spent three days in place where everything he had ever wanted to
be had come to fruition. It was ironic to realize that it had no more substance
than fiction of dreams and the life where nothing had gone as he had
anticipated, was the life he could not do without.
"Its powerful stuff you played around with Lilith
and I don't think you're ready to do it again, not for a long while." He
continued staring at her with hard eyes.
"I was only trying to help Billy," she said
defensively, her lips curling into a little girl pout. "He wanted to get
Miss Pemberton something nice."
Lilith really had not intended on harming anyone when
she performed the spell. As it was, Billy was under the impression that it did
not work and decided that he would prefer to present Miss Pemberton with a nice
box of chocolates that Mrs. Potter helped him pick at her store. In the end,
Billy had thought the chocolates were a better gift anyway. Boys could be so
fickle, Lilith had decided after that.
"I know you did what you thought would help
Billy," Josiah quickly spoke up, deciding not to be overly hard on her
since nothing that had transpired was done out of malice. "But that book
ain't for you to use until you're ready and I think you got a long way to go
before you are. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"You don't want me to use it any more, do
you?" She asked the question with a soft and decidedly contrite voice,
even though she knew his answer already.
"Not for a while yet." Josiah nodded, giving
the girl a smile so she would not think that he was angry with her. In truth,
she had opened his eyes somewhat with her spell. For the first time in too
long, Josiah was no longer preoccupied with how his life had not gone according
to plan, neither was he distressed at the lack of good he had accomplished when
he walked away from the faith. Just seeing
"I wasn't going to." Lilith confessed
readily. She was only a child but even she knew that something very bad had
occurred when she had cast her spell. The least of which was the loss of her
mother. Lilith had enough sense to know that she never wanted a recurrence of
those terrible days, knowing her mother was dead because of something she had
done. "I don't want to do anything that can make Billy disappear or make
momma die again." The culmination of regret and fear in her eyes revealed
to Josiah without doubt, precisely how determined she was on this point.
Josiah was glad. He could do without having to worry
about waking up one morning and finding that his entire world had changed due
to further castings made by this little blond waif. Anything he was about to
say was interrupted by a robust cry from Billy Travis as he came bounding down
the stairs from the upper floor of the house.
"Lily!" The young boy called out as he
approached them both dressed in his best clothes or what was normally referred
to church clothes by anyone who dressed for the occasion.
"Go on," Josiah smiled as Lilith shifted her
eyes towards Billy with the desire to join him but held back by good manners
which dictated that she finish her conversation with Josiah. "Don't get
into any trouble please?" He teased as he gave her a conspiratory
wink.
"Sure Mr. Sanchez," she beamed and Josiah
suddenly had this sixth sense that he was going to be seeing a lot of more of
this girl in the future, not simply because Josiah intended to cultivate a
friendship with her mother.
"Oh," Lilith paused as she drew away from
Josiah in her journey to meet Billy halfway down the hall. "I think momma
likes you."
Predictably, she ran off before she could elaborate on
that.
Josiah bristled slightly in annoyance, thinking it was
just like a female to make that announcement and then run out of you. He
wondered if the entire sex were given lessons for this particular trait. Still,
he had decided that he liked Lilith even if she did have some very strange
ideas. Unconsciously, Josiah made a secret vow to keep an eye on Lilith because
she appeared to need it and the less Audrey did not know about Lilith's true
potential as Morag Bellingham had announced, the better.
Audrey believed in nurturing her child and Josiah did
not want to shatter that idealism by telling her about what he and Audrey had
discovered during their journey through the mists. Apart of him would always
see her as that woman he accompanied to the creek in Cherrybrook
even though that meeting now never took place. Still, she was the same person
who was waiting for him to bring her eggnog and Josiah decided he looked
forward to getting to know Audrey King all over again.
********
As the time for Christmas dinner approached, Chris Larabee could not imagine a time when so many people had
surrounded him during this festive season. Last Christmas, he and the rest of
the seven had spent it in the saloon, engaging in a friendly competition to see
who could pass out first from overindulgence in Red Eye whisky. If he recalled
correctly, J.D. had won that particular contest. It still felt strange to him
to be surrounded by so many people, who were sober no less and knowing the warm
environment in which they were reveling was his home and the woman playing host
to it all was his wife. Chris had not spoken to anyone about his dreams and he
knew secretly, he would never reveal its content to Mary, even if they both
lived to be a hundred.
He knew it was only a dream and that was the only
consolation he was able to find in the entire experience. Chris had spent most
of his life suppressing the demons that made him what he was but not even he
had suspected what those dark feelings inside of him were capable of turning
him into when properly inspired.
There was no doubt in his mind that had he been
present the night Sarah and Adam had died and been unable to save them, Fowler
and Ella would be similarly disadvantaged. He kept tight rein on the rage
inside of him because he knew that when he cross the line that unleashed it,
there was no going back.
During those black days after their demise, Chris had
been so close to slipping over the precipice into the dark abyss of his soul
and knew that once he began that fall; it would be end of him. Perhaps not in
body, although he suspected it would come sooner or later he would have ended
his life prematurely but certainly in the loss of his soul. Only one thing had
prevented him from going over the edge even though it would cost him dearly and
things would never be the same for either again.
He saw Buck talking to Ezra, Julia and J.D., keeping a
safe distance from Inez who was in the company of Nathan and Rain who had
arrived yesterday for the holidays. Nathan seemed very pleased to have the
young woman in town and Chris could not blame him for that. The holidays always
seemed to make separations from loved ones all the more acute. During his first
Christmas alone after the fire, Chris had spent the entire time so drunk that
it was three days after the event when he finally sobered up. Until his arrival
in
You're putting it off, Larabee.
Chris frowned as he heard that inner voice make itself
heard inside his house. Ever since that nightmare had impressed itself upon his
mind with such terrifying clarity, Chris had made the decision to do something
he should have done a long time ago and could no longer put off, not after what
he had seen in his dream. He broke away from Vin and Alex and made his way
through the room before reaching Buck.
As usual Buck was his charming self, although for some
strange reason, Chris noticed that his old friend was maintaining eye contact
with Julia like his life depended on it. To say Buck had a roving eye was an
understatement, the man had one yard stick for every woman he met and it was
measured by three words S-E-X.
It took a long time for Buck to be able to see past
the cut of a woman's figure to actually know the personality beneath; Inez and
Mary fell into that category. Alex and Julia had yet to reach that level of
familiarity for Buck and this was the first time Chris had ever seen him regard
Julia without taking note of how attractive the woman was.
"I'm telling you, I'm gonna get to the bottom of
this." Buck was telling Ezra. No doubt, he was outlining the next phase in
his campaign to induce Inez to speak to him again, Chris decided. "She's
gonna talk to me if it's the last thing I do."
"Mr. Wilmington, the odds favour
that it will be the last thing you do." Ezra retorted, proving once again
that no situation was sacred from the lure of gambling.
"You didn't?" Julia rolled her eyes although
she was unsurprised that he could stoop so low. God, she loved him.
"I better be getting some of that money,"
Buck teased knowing that his chances of prising cash
from Ezra was as likely as his joining a monastery.
"Why certainly," Ezra said smugly.
"Posthumously of course."
"You're all heart." Chris added. "At
least we can use the cash for the funeral." He threw Buck a faint smile.
"Now you're insulting me," Buck said with
mock hurt. "I'll have you know that filly will be mine before the night is
done."
"And I'm sure it will be very nice." Julia
could resist saying. Ezra and Chris had to bite down to keep themselves from sniggering
as Buck's glared at her with narrowed eyes.
"That was cold." He muttered, hating to be
reminded just how much he hated that word.
"But you were kind of asking for it." Chris
added. "Come on big fella," he took Buck's
arm. "I need a word with you."
Buck looked after Chris puzzled as they drew away from
the main floor of the party and proceeded down the hallway before Chris stepped
onto the porch outside. Although the air was heavy with winter chill, it was
nonetheless a glorious night with all the stars in attendance across the sky.
There was an almost Biblical beauty about it.
"What's up Chris?" Buck asked once they were
alone.
Chris said nothing for a moment, busying himself by
lighting a cigarette as if he was stalling for him. Buck knew Chris long enough
to know that usually meant he was gearing himself to reveal something important
and for the life of him, Buck could not imagine what that might be. Buck also
knew that it was never wise to push Chris further than he was willing to go in
such instances for the gunslinger would instinctively withdraw into himself and
Buck would never find out what was on his mind.
"I've been thinking about Sarah and Adam the last
few days." Chris finally broke the silence.
"It’s Christmas," Buck said shrugging his
broad shoulders. "That's only natural. You've moved on with the rest of
your life but these are the days when those old memories come back."
Chris met Buck's gaze and wondered how such wisdom
could exist in mind so juvenile and completely lacking in responsibility at
times. "I know," Chris agreed. "But that wasn't what I was
thinking about." Taking a deep breath, he forced the words out even though
they were hard to articulate in his throat. "I was thinking about the fire
and afterwards."
Buck swallowed hard because he liked thinking about
that as much as Chris did. Part of the reason he had forced himself to remain
at Chris' side, refusing to let the man give up on himself in the wake of his
loss was because Buck felt partly responsible for what had happened. If he had
only let Chris come home that night instead of insisting that they stay the
night, perhaps Sarah and Adam would still be alive.
"What about it?" He asked, wondering where
Chris was going with this.
"I never got a chance to thank you Buck for
staying with me. I can't have been too easy to be around after what happened
and I want you to know I appreciate what you did." Chris met his gaze
Buck did not know what to say. It was one of the few
times such a thing had ever happened to him. "Aw hell Chris," Buck
managed to reply after a few seconds. "I was guilty as all hell. If I
hadn't made you stay in
"It might wound up worse than it already
was." Chris cut him off before he could finish that sentence. "For a
long time, I kept thinking that if I had gotten home maybe, it would have wound
up different. Lately, I wonder if that's true. It would have been a hard ride
to get back that night as it was and Fowler and his men were waiting for us to
leave before he went after Sarah. They had their orders not to hurt me so
they'd moved in fast."
Frankly, Buck was amazed to find Chris talking about
this so freely. Normally Chris tended to seize up whenever the subject was
brought up. He knew that the action was a reflex Chris had developed not to
deal with his pain. However, things had changed lately for his friend, with a
new wife and a son to care for. Buck almost started to feel the pang of guilt
he had been carrying around himself diminish slightly.
"Maybe," Buck swallowed. "I guess we'll
never know really."
"No, we won't." Chris agreed and continued.
"I just want to say thank you Buck. I could have gone either way after I
lost my family. You kept me sane and you kept me from putting a bullet in my
head. If it weren't for you, none of this," he glanced at the house and
referred to everything inside of it. "None of this would have been
possible for me. You've been a good friend Buck, through everything."
"Why thank you Chris." Buck replied quietly,
uncertain how to take this show of gratitude. He knew it existed even though it
was never spoken about openly but hearing it from the man's lips touched Buck
deeper than anything had in a long time. It was the first time, since the fire,
their friendship even remotely felt like it used to be.
Chris was about to say something else when suddenly
the door opened and Inez made her appearance. "Am I interrupting?"
She asked, having left the others in order to talk to Buck.
"We're done." Chris said first, even though
his gaze was still locked with Buck's.
Inez suddenly had the impression that she had walked
in on something exceedingly important and wished she had waited until after the
party to speak to Buck. She had been watching him all night, trying to sum the
courage to speak to him the baby before finally coming to the decision that she
could not delay any longer.
"Yeah," Buck nodded in agreement. "I
guess we are." He remarked before turning to Inez. "See Chris, I told
you she couldn't stay away from me for too long." He grinned, reverting
back to type for her benefit.
Chris met Inez's gaze and the same thought crossed
their mind at the same time.
"He's all yours," Chris said shaking his
head. "Such as it is."
"Which isn't much." Inez frowned.
"Dinners gonna be ready soon," Chris
reminded as he started to leave. "I'll have just enough time to see Ezra
about some money..." he grinned before disappearing through the door and
leaving them alone.
"Well this is a surprise." Buck said staring
at her with folded arms, with a hint of smug satisfaction that she had finally
broken the deadlock between them. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" He
took a step forward and noticed her doing the same. This was turning out to be
an evening of miracles all right.
"We need to talk." She said seriously. After
that curious dream where her entire life in
"About what?" Buck asked, unwilling to make this
any easier on her than he had to. After all, it was she who had brushed him off
like something to be scrapped off her boot, not he. "Seems to me like you
made yourself pretty clear these past two months."
"Buck, its not that simple." Inez bristled,
starting to get irritated by his manner. Did he have any idea what she had been
through these past few weeks? "I am sorry that I hurt you but it's become
a little more than just your feelings now."
"What do you mean?" Buck demanded.
"Since when was it ever about my feelings? Inez, I know what I am and I
ain't ashamed to admit that I love more women than I should but you know
perfectly well that it has never been that way when it came to you. I loved you
from the first moment I saw you and I was willing to play it your way cause I
knew I wasn't exactly what you were looking for in a husband but what you did
after that night was not right and you know it. I gave you my heart woman and
you trampled all over it. I ain't prepared to do it again."
"Well I don't want it!" Inez hissed, feeling
hormones and ire bubbling into a mix that sent her temper spiraling out of
control. "I am here to tell you because you have a right to know!"
"Know what?" He demanded, riding this wave
of anger with her.
"I AM PREGNANT YOU
Buck stared at her blankly. "With a baby?"
"No with ten pound calf!" Inez snarled.
"Of course with a baby!" She shouted in erupting fury, unable to
believe the man could be so thick sometimes. With that statement behind her,
Inez descended into a litany of rather colour Mexican
expletives all aimed at him. "Why do I even bother?" She fumed as she
spun on her heels and went through the door again. "It's like talking to a
child!"
"But…but. ." Buck stammered as he hurried
after her. God, his nightmare was coming true. All he needed was for Julia to
start undressing and he would be set. Inez was already half way down the hall
when Buck entered the house again, refusing to let her walk away this time
"Inez! Wait up! We gotta talk about this!"
"We don't have to talk about anything Senor
Wilmington!" Inez roared, capturing the attention of just about everybody
in the house as she passed by the dining room where everyone was assembling for
Christmas dinner, with her outburst. "I have told you, that is enough! You
don't need to know anything else!"
"Enough!" Buck exclaimed unable to
comprehend how stubborn this woman could be. She had literally dropped dynamite
in his lap and expected him to go away quietly and deal with it. "You tell
me you're pregnant and as far as you're concerned is the end of it?"
"Buck!" Inez gushed in mortification for
revealing to everyone such an intimate matter. The entire room fell silent from
that revelation and all eyes turned to them, transfixed by the unfolding drama.
Even Chris was wearing an expression of astonishment on his face as he regarded
them both.
"We're just having a little discussion,"
Buck cleared his throat and faced his friends, trying to down play things as
being not as bad as they looked. "Nothing to worry about." He
swallowed visibly proving to them all that it was anything but that.
"Obviously," a smug voice entered the fray
and Buck knew it just had to be Ezra. Buck glared at the gambler and turned
back to Inez. "Darling if there's a child coming, then we ought to do the
right thing."
Their conversation had the undivided attention of
every person in the room as they watched this sudden development in the ongoing
opera that was becoming Buck Wilmington and Inez Rosillios'
relationship.
"Like what?" She stared at him in
puzzlement; not at all liking what he was proposing and that would seem to be
the appropriate word to describe it.
"Like getting married." He gushed
exasperated, as if there could be any question about it at all.
Her eyes widened at the notion before she said very
firmly. "Nunca!"
"Nunca?" Buck
groaned, perfectly aware of what that mean. "What the hell do you mean, nunca!"
"I can translate for you if you like."
Nathan offered with a smile before Rain elbowed him in the stomach and shot him
a glare that forced the healer back into silent observation.
"NEVER!" Inez replied. "Even if you're
last man on this Earth!" She shouted and then disappeared out of sight
with Buck following her closely, their voices trailing through the house,
indicating this issue was going to be with everyone for quite some time.
"Well," Mary said following their departure,
knowing anything she said at this point would be anti-climatic. "Who wants
more punch?"
Suffice to say, the next year was going to be
interesting.
The End